As John Wayne’s voice continued to read off the names of companies and studios and television networks, craft unions, independent producers, actors unions and even the studio cleaners, I realized that I didn’t fit into any of those categories. Since there was no category listed for family, I waited until the very end, when the entire rest of the theater was already standing and at last John Wayne added: “Friends and Others.”
“Others” was an appropriate enough category, so my husband, stepson and I stood at the very last minute of the memorial tribute to my mother, Joan Crawford, under the category of “Others.”
That was it. The show was over. The television cameras were turned off and the full house lights went on. A publicity man and a fan from New York with his family said hello to us on our way out of the theater. We spoke with no one else.
As we walked out into the cool night air, I held onto my husband’s hand and thought … at last it is over.
But … is it?
“… for reasons which are well known to them.”
RECOLLECTIONS FROM DEANNE TILTON AND MICHAEL DURFEE
I first met Christina Crawford in 1978, soon after Momnie Dearest had become a best seller and front page story. For some, the story was about an underside of Hollywood and a glamorous star. In reality, it was vindication, inspiration and hope for countless child abuse victims and survivors around the world, It turned the heads and hearts of millions. What the 1962 release of the landmark publication “The Battered Child Syndrome” had done to enlighten the professional world, Mommie Dearest did for the rest of the world sixteen years later.
As Director of Los Angeles County’s Inter-Agency Council on Child Abuse and Neglect, I was understandably anxious about meeting this brave and talented person who had taken my cause to new heights. This anxiety was at once dissolved by her warm and unassuming personality. It was difficult to imagine that she realized the impact of Mommie Dearest. It was impossible for me to appreciate the price she was continuing to pay for doing so.
Christina was quiet and careful. I had no idea that, while she was becoming our heroine, she was also withstanding cruel treatment by a relentless cadre of angry disbelievers.
I soon began to wonder how one whose life had been so unpredictable, so tumultuous and controversial could be so serene. I was to learn a great deal about resiliency, and about the true challenges of facing life as a celebrity, a survivor of childhood abuse, public disdain, physical disability, personal loss.
We became best friends. I found in Christina a selfless and giving person who, to this day, is hard pressed to acknowledge the difference she has made in this world. She also, for whatever reason, has been able to maintain a unique and delightful sense of humor. I’ll never forget the day Michael and I visited her after her paralyzing stroke in 1981. With unparalleled determination, Christina had regained most of her mobility and speech. However, there were lapses. She told us of the phone calls she would receive and, when she could not articulate a simple answer, she would “just hang up”. Then she broke into delightful laughter. Many would have cried.
Michael, a child psychiatrist specializing in child abuse prevention, met Christina one afternoon at an ICAN Neighborhood Family Center. Her speech was rapid and strained. Michael was compelled to touch her arm. She paused, took a breath and explained that the day before, she had filmed a scene for a documentary in front of a prison. The prisoners rioted and she could hear their yells and the clanking of bars in the background. Being locked up was a ghost of her past; memories rekindled by this experience.
Over the years it has been our privilege to know and share experiences, including our wedding celebration, with this woman who has brought so much to so many. We do not know or understand how often and how fiercely she must fight the scars of confusion, mistrust and feeling alone. We can only guess. We do know that such battles have been a major part of her life. We are in awe of her fierce drive to keep her life in order and continue to serve others.
Christina was President of ICAN Associates, Commissioner of Children’s Services, a keynote speaker at countless conferences and conventions. She published books, appeared on talk shows and documentaries. She was, and is, a national phenomenon. But she has never lost track of reality or her friends.
She founded the first national support group for survivors of child abuse and other assaults. She noted her intentions to do so in a national magazine, opened a post office box and received mail, and more mail. Sacks of mail. All to be answered. No one to be left out in a project that was more massive and more understaffed than anyone, including Christina, could have known. She always answered letters from prisoners first. As she began to receive their responses, the abusive childhoods and terrible ghosts of these people emerged from behind bars and walls.
Christina has entered and affected our lives personally and professionally. An image of her sits somewhere in that part of the brain reserved for people whom you can call up to speak with inside your head. A friend who let child abuse and neglect out of the closet twenty years ago and has carried a banner for children and survivors ever since. A unique human being who has survived the scars of her childhood and given hope to others. Armed with a powerful sense of humor and grinding intent to make the world better, she is a true success story.
Twenty years later, Mommie Dearest is a classic. Happy Anniversary, Christina, and Thank-You.
Deanne Tilton Durfee
Executive Director, Los Angeles County Inter-Agency
Council on Child Abuse and Neglect
Past Chairperson, U.S. Advisory Board on Child Abuse and Neglect
Michael Durfee, M.D,
Medical Director, Child Abuse Prevention Program
Department of Health Services
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Christina Crawford is the #1 New York Times–bestselling author of the memoirs Mommie Dearest and Survivor, as well as the women’s history book Daughters of the Inquisition. Crawford graduated magna cum laude from the University of California, Los Angeles, after spending nearly fourteen years as an actress in television, theater, and film. She received her master’s degree in communication management from the Annenberg School at the University of Southern California.
Since then, Crawford has worked in corporate public relations, was a partner in a winery, owned and operated a country inn, and spent eight years booking concert entertainment for a North Idaho casino. One of the first people appointed to the Los Angeles County Commission for Children’s Services, she also served one term as county commissioner in Idaho. Her regional TV show Northwest Entertainment has won three Telly Awards for excellence.
Crawford has been a lifelong advocate of issues for social justice, from the early days of child abuse prevention and family violence intervention to issues of the rights of women across the world. She lives in Idaho, where she continues to write and pursue creative projects.
Follow Christina on her Facebook fan page: https://www.facebook.com/ChristinaCrawfordAuthor.
Mommie Dearest, 1978 original cover (Tom Bert).
Survivor, front cover 1988 (Tom Bert).
No Safe Place, back cover 1994 (Bonnie Colodzin).
Sedona, Arizona, vortex, 1989 (Kiki Borlenghi).
Sedona, Arizona, 1989 (Kiki Borlenghi).
Daughters of the Inquisition, 2004 (Jim Swoboda, ILF Media).
Entertainment Northwest TV, 2007 (Robert Breckenridge RTN 24 TV Spokane, Washington).
With my brother Chris, pre-Viet Nam, 1967.
All rights reserved, including without limitation the right to reproduce this ebook or any portion thereof in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of the publisher.
This work is a memoir. It reflects the author’s present recollections of her experiences over a period of years. Some names and identifying characteristics have been changed in order to protect the identity of certain individuals. Any resulting resemblance to
persons living or dead is entirely coincidental and unintentional.
Copyright © 1978, 1998, 2017 by Christina Crawford
Cover design by Amanda Shaffer
ISBN: 978-1-5040-4908-5
This edition published in 2017 by Open Road Integrated Media, Inc.
180 Maiden Lane
New York, NY 10038
www.openroadmedia.com
CHRISTINA CRAWFORD
FROM OPEN ROAD MEDIA
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