Lacey’s voice had risen to a shrill, almost hysterical point by then. Her agitation was not at all the right preparation for her upcoming contact session. I finally decided we needed to get out of there and get her calmed down. So I stood up, put my hand on her arm and spoke slowly and firmly to Derrick. “Look. I told you that the Contact Project is not a messenger service. You need to back off now and let Lacey do this the way she wants to do it.” Before he could reply, I turned to Lacey and said, “Come on. We need to go now.”
Derrick held his ground in the doorway, blocking our way. “Listen, Lacey,” he said angrily. “If more than a third of your mom’s money goes to Scientology, we’ll all be in trouble. Maybe you don’t care for yourself, but if you care about Angelica as much as you say you do, you’ll want to find that new will. So for once in your life stop being selfish and think about what’s best for the whole family.”
Could Derrick really be in such a dire financial situation? He sounded desperate. I began to wonder whether he might be deeply in debt.
Lacey put her hand on his chest and pushed him. “Move,” she said. “We need to go.” He looked angry enough to push back or maybe even slap her, but he got control of himself and stepped back out of the doorway. We hustled through and headed down the hall to the front door.
“I’m very disappointed in you, Lacey,” Derrick yelled after us. “I thought you cared about this family.”
“I care more about this family than you do, Dad,” she yelled back. And before we closed the front door behind us, she leaned in and took her parting shot. “I’m beyond disappointed in you, Dad,” she screeched. “You don’t care about anyone but yourself.” She slammed the door shut.
In the driveway, I turned to her and said, “I’ll meet you at my office. Do your best to calm down while you’re driving there. Don’t think about your dad and how you’re mad at him. Think about your mom and how much you miss her.”
Lacey nodded. “Sorry,” she said, “he just …”
“No more about him,” I reminded her. “Let’s go now.”
We each got in our cars and drove off toward my office. Whew! What a state she was in. The time we spent in Mirabel’s office was pretty much a disaster as far as setting her up for the contact process. If she was going to have any chance of reaching Mirabel, I needed to help Lacey smooth out and quiet her mind.
Chapter 25
Back at my office, I took Lacey for a walk over to Boulder Creek. Autumn is a great time of year at the creek. The water level is lower than in summer, but the sun dancing off the reds and yellows of the leaves reflects in the water below creating a soft leisurely space. I love to sit on a bench overlooking the creek, soaking up that tranquility.
I found my favorite bench and suggested to Lacey that we sit quietly and relax for a few minutes. Then I said, “It would be helpful for you to think about your mom for a bit before we go to my office and use the apparition chamber. Try focusing on a time when you and she were in synch, enjoying each other. It doesn’t have to be recent. Does a time like that come to mind?”
Lacey sat quietly for a few minutes. Her face softened. She said, “I remember my sixteenth birthday. Mom wanted to have a special day with me—which was a huge surprise, since she was mostly too busy to take off a whole day to be with me or any of us kids. My birthday is in March. She let me skip school—another huge surprise—and we went skiing at Winter Park. It was one of those spring skiing days that comes right after a heavy snow. Sunny, not very cold, bright blue sky, no crowds. We had some terrific runs and we ate lunch outside on the deck of that food place at the top of the mountain. It always amazes me that you can ski and the sun is warm enough to be able to eat outside. We sat there eating pizza slices, relaxing in the sun, laughing at a couple of snowboarders talking about the spills they’d taken in the morning. It was one of the most fun days we ever had together.”
“A wonderful memory,” I said. “Can you think back and picture your mom on that day? Remember how she looked, what she was wearing, and like that.”
“Definitely,” she said. “Mom had a fabulous down ski jacket that I always loved. It was a black and white Spyder that she used for hiking and snowshoeing as well as skiing. Mom was always physically active and in great shape until the last few years when she got such bad arthritis. So, yes, I can still see her in that jacket and her black ski pants schussing down the hill with her hair blowing in the wind and a huge grin on her face.” Tears welled up in Lacey’s eyes and she sat silently for a few minutes. Then she said, “We didn’t have nearly enough good times like that, and now it’s too late.”
We sat by the creek for a while longer before we walked slowly back to my office. There I took Lacey into the apparition chamber. I have it set up in a small windowless room, just big enough for the four-foot square mirror on the wall about three feet above the floor, and the easy-chair inclined backward that sits in front of it. The mirror and the chair are surrounded by a black velvet curtain that creates a small booth so the sitter can gaze into the mirror and see only a pool of darkness. The only illumination comes from a fifteen-watt bulb in a small stained-glass lamp behind the chair. The theory behind this is that throughout history people have reported seeing visions in reflective surfaces such as clear pools of water, polished brass cauldrons, crystals, and mirrors lit in the midst of blackness. The apparitions appear as the viewer gazes into the clear dark pool.
I asked Lacey to remove her watch so she wouldn’t be focused on the time, then got her situated in the chair. “Take some deep breaths and relax,” I said. “Try to clear your mind of everything except thoughts of your mother, and then gaze deeply into the mirror. Don’t try to rush it or make something happen,” I cautioned her. “Just be here. You can stay as long as you want. I’ll be right across the hall in my office if you have any problems. When you’re done, just come out and we’ll talk.”
I work hard not to expect or even hope for any particular outcome when a client is in the apparition chamber. Once they are in there, it’s their process. Whatever happens, happens. I use the time to work on patient charts, insurance forms, or whatever projects will keep my mind occupied.
So once Lacey was settled, I went across to my office and started working on my notes for the class I would be teaching on Friday. I was deeply involved in reading an account of double-blind experiments designed to investigate whether mediums can contact the dead, when I heard the apparition chamber door open. I got up and went out to the hall. Lacey ran up and squashed me in a big hug. “She came! Mom came! I saw her. I talked to her. It was amazing!” Lacey’s words tumbled over themselves in her excitement.
I hugged her back and waited quietly until the cascade of disjointed words stopped and she released me. Then I said, “That’s wonderful, Lacey. Let’s go sit in the counseling room. I’ll get you some water and you can tell me what happened.” She followed me into the room and sat on the sofa, looking a bit dazed, but happy and more relaxed than I’d ever seen her. I brought her a glass of water and sat across from her in my usual wing chair. “Tell me about it,” I said.
Lacey sighed then began speaking softly. “I sat there for a long time, just thinking about her like you said I should. But I couldn’t see anything in the mirror and I was getting discouraged. Then all of a sudden I heard her voice. She said, ‘Take your time, Lacey, and think about what you want.’ That’s something she often used to say to me, so I thought maybe I was imagining her voice. But I looked up and there she was in the mirror, just sitting there looking out at me. I was so happy to see her that I started crying. She said, ‘Don’t be sad for me. Don’t cry. I know it’s hard to imagine, but I’m fine.’ I tried to tell her how sorry I am that we didn’t get along better before she died, but she started fading away when I was saying that.”
Lacey stopped and took a big gulp of water, then set the glass down on the table in front of the couch. She grabbed a tissue from the box on the table and blew her nose. I waited to see what else she had t
o say.
She sat for a few minutes looking off to her left as if trying to recollect something. “Could you get me some paper and a pen?” she said. “I want to make some notes before I forget any of what Mom said to me.
“Of course,” I said. I got up, walked down the hall to my office and brought her a pen and a pad of paper. She began scribbling furiously and kept at it for about ten minutes. Then she looked up. “Okay,” she said. “Now I can finish telling you. When Mom started fading away, I yelled at her not to go yet, that I needed to find out what had happened to her in the hot tub. She came back and somehow stepped right out of the mirror and hugged me. I could really feel her. Does that usually happen?”
“Sometimes,” I said. “But it’s different for everyone. Did your Mom talk about what happened to her?”
“No,” Lacey said sadly. “I told her Angelica thought someone pushed her under the water and we wanted to find out about it, but she didn’t really answer me. She just said, ‘It’s all about money. Some of them will do whatever they have to do to get it. And the others don’t see what’s happening. It’s hard to see through that fog.’ I asked her to tell me what that meant and who she was talking about, but she didn’t answer.” Lacey stopped and stared off into space, looking a bit forlorn.
“What do you think she meant about the money?” I asked. “Do you think she was talking about your dad and the will he’s looking for?”
“I don’t know,” Lacey said. “But Angelica told me that Dad and Judith have been arguing a lot about money lately. It sounds like his business isn’t doing well and he doesn’t have as much money as Judith thought he did.”
“Was that all your mom said?” I asked gently. “Did she disappear after she talked about the money, or did she say more?”
Lacey shook her head and looked back at me. “No she didn’t disappear right then. She started kind of humming that Beatles song, 'Let It Be.' And then she said, ‘I love you, Lacey, and I love Shane, and I love Angelica, and I know you’ll look out for her. Keep Angelica safe. She needs you.’ She hugged me again and it felt warm and wonderful. Then she let go, stepped back, and looked me in the eye with a serious expression. She said, ‘My dad needs some help, too.’ After that she faded away.”
“I wonder what she meant about Vernon,” I said. “Do you think your grandfather is in some kind of trouble?” I remembered Tim Grosso’s warning that Glenna was probably ripping off Vernon just like she had ripped off Tim’s father. But I wasn’t sure I should mention that to Lacey.
“We all know Grandad drinks too much, and he’s a little forgetful,” she said. “But aside from that I thought he was doing okay.” She looked down at her notes for a minute, then looked up at me. “Actually, I’m really confused about most of what Mom said. Maybe Shane could help figure it out. Can you come with me to Shane’s apartment?”
At first I was inclined to just send her off on her own. But it was after 5:00 by then and I had no more clients scheduled for the day and I was very curious about what Shane would have to say. So I said, “I guess I could do that. But how do you know he’ll be home?”
“Shane’s always home plugged into that computer world where he lives. Let’s go in my car and I’ll drop you back here after.”
Chapter 26
Shane’s apartment was one of many in a large complex in northeast Boulder. We parked in a visitor spot and walked down a long sidewalk past a pool and a clubhouse. Judging from the people I saw soaking up the late afternoon sun on their balconies, beer bottles in hand, the complex attracted mainly young college-student types. Lacey stopped at a staircase in a well of one of the three-story buildings. “These building all look alike to me,” Lacey said. “It took me a while to be able to find my way around. Shane’s on the third floor of this walkup. I don’t know why he lives here. He’s not a student, but he says it suits him, so I don’t argue with him about it.”
At the top of the stairs a small landing led to two apartments. Lacey knocked on the door of the one on the left. No one answered, so she knocked again, more loudly this time. “He’s probably on the computer with earphones as usual,” she said exasperatedly. “Let’s try the door.” She turned the knob and pushed open the door to what was one of the trashiest apartments I’d seen in a long time. Pizza take-out boxes, beer bottles, and what looked like hundreds of super-sized soft drink cups competed for floor space with various bags and boxes filled with who knows what. The light was dim, perhaps to obscure the mess or maybe so there would be no glare on the screen of the oversized laptop that sat on a low table next to an extra flat-screen monitor.
Shane sat on a pillow on the floor in front of the computer, totally engrossed, and as Lacey had predicted, he wore earphones as he typed away. He didn’t notice us until Lacey walked over behind him and tapped him on the shoulder. I expected him to jump in surprise or maybe show some irritation that we had let ourselves in, but instead he kept on typing for a minute and then turned around to look at us. “Oh, hey, Lacey, Cleo,” he said languidly. “What’s up?” I wondered if his immersion in the game kept him mellow or if he was stoned or on some kind of tranquilizer.
The graphics on his computer screens showed a futuristic city populated by thin shimmery characters darting around and flying over buildings. In the middle, in an area that resembled a town square, some of the characters looked to be involved in a meeting or perhaps a contest. I was immediately captivated and wanted to see more, but Lacey had different ideas. “Shut that game off, Shane,” she said. “We have important news to discuss.”
Shane turned back to his screen. “Sorry, Lacey,” he said indifferently. “It’s not a good time. I’m busy. You could have saved yourself some trouble by calling before you came all the way over here.”
Lacey was in no mood to be blown off. She yanked off Shane’s earphones and grabbed his shoulders with both hands and twisted him around until she could stick her face in his face. Then she shrieked at him so loudly that I feared for his eardrums. “Shane, listen to me! I talked to Mom. She had things to say to us.” Shane stood up facing her and moved her toward a futon couch littered with papers.
“You don’t need to shout, Lacey. I can hear you.” He pushed most of the papers off the couch. “Chill. And sit. You too, Cleo. Have a seat and you can both tell me what happened.” I joined Lacey on the futon and Shane moved his pillow to sit on the floor facing us.
Lacey pulled the notes she had made at my office out of her purse and stuck them in Shane’s face. “Look. I wrote it all down so I wouldn’t forget.”
Shane pulled the notes out of Lacey’s hand. “It’s all about money,” he read aloud. He looked puzzled. “What does that mean? What’s all about money?”
“That’s just it,” Lacey said, her voice rising again. “I don’t know.”
Shane looked down at the notes again, read for a minute, then closed his eyes and sat silently. We watched and waited. Finally he opened his eyes and spoke, wearily. “Let’s get this straight, Lacey. You got Cleo to help you contact Mom, and it actually worked, and all she told you was that people will do stuff to get money? Oh yeah, and that you should take care of Angelica and that Grandad needs your help. None of this is actually news. Sounds more like a daydream than a contact with a spirit to me.”
For some reason people seem to think they can ask questions of a spirit and get targeted answers like they would in a Google search. It’s hardly ever like that. More often, people get a strong feeling of connecting with the dead person and then hear some message—often one they find confusing. I didn’t want to start into a lecture about it, so I decided to see what Lacey would say.
“No, Shane, it wasn’t a dream. I saw her and I felt her. She was there. And what I wrote down is what she said. Now I need you to help me make sense of it.”
“So she sent you a message that it’s all about money and you want me to explain that to you?” Shane asked flippantly.
“This is not a joke, Shane,” Lacey said sternly. “I need
your help. Who do you think she was talking about when she said it was all about money? And when she said some people will do whatever they have to do to get money, and the others don’t see what’s happening because it’s hard to see through the fog? We have to figure out what she meant by that.”
“Okay, let’s say you did really see her and that’s what she said,” Shane said cautiously. “Why do you think it’s so important?”
“She said it right after I told her Angelica thought someone pushed her under the water and we wanted to find out about it,” Lacey said. “So I think she was saying that whoever killed her was motivated by money. But that could be a lot of people—the Scientologists inherited money, Dad inherited money, which could indirectly be money for Judith. Faye got the gallery. Even you and I and Angelica inherited money.”
“Sometimes these messages aren’t as direct as they seem,” I said. “Just because she was talking about money, doesn’t mean she was pointing at the ones who will inherit.”
Shane perked up and looked more interested. Maybe thinking of the message as more complex was engaging his gaming experience. “Right,” he said. “It may not be that simple. She could have been saying that someone wanted her gone for reasons connected to money, but not necessarily so they could inherit her money.”
“Like who?” Lacey asked.
“Like Glenna. Before she died Mom told me she was worried that Glenna was after Grandad’s money. Mom had even talked to the DA about Glenna and she was trying to get Grandad to dump her. Maybe Glenna knew. And that developer Hugh Symes that she got into that prairie dog fight with. She was bringing a suit against him that could have cost him a bundle if she successfully stopped his project. And what about her drug-dealing former friend, Tim? They had a fight and weren’t speaking. Maybe he was afraid she’d turn him in to the police.”
Too Far Under Page 17
