by Kristen Lane
“See, that’s why you don’t get irrationally angry.” Nigel chuckled.
“Stop laughing at me,” But even as the whine left her lips, she started to feel herself starting to laugh as well.
He stepped down into the brush, but landed on top of the rock, Leigh must have been standing right next to. He paused, glancing straight ahead.
Leigh followed his gaze. The cave was only a couple of yards away.
“The face of objectification is a perfectly reasonable rational reason to be angry.”
Nigel stepped on top of the next rock and turned to lift her up. “How can I objectify you when you are already so good at it.”
Leigh giggled. “I do love those arms.”
He paused there as Leigh pressed her body up against him. For about the fourth time on that hike, she wished there wasn’t an entire crew of extras, assistance makeup and costumes and her manager following just behind her. All she can think about was the way he had pressed his body down onto her the night before, naked before the moon, right there on her roof, and she wanted to take him again. She didn’t know what it was, but he brought out the animal in her.
He grabbed her hand and guided it to his crotch. “I think there’s something else you like too.”
As she groped him, she could feel his bulge growing. “Don’t do this to yourself. You know it can’t go anywhere.”
He grabbed the back of her head, pulling her hair back and forcing her chin up. She let out a sound somewhere between a groan and a moan.
“I want you,” She breathed.
“I know.” He answered. His lips fell onto hers, his tongue jutted into her mouth, demanding all of these things from her. She squeezed him harder down there as he hiked up each leg of her satin shorts his hands squeezing her butt like he owned it.
“We can’t…” Leigh whispered as he knocked her.
“If we play our cards right, we can…” With that, Nigel hopped off of the rock and started up the last incline, tugging Leigh along.
She followed as close as she could, but was panting by the time they got to the cave. “It’s fitting isn’t it?”
Nigel turned around himself, taking in every inch of the small open, from the carvings in the wall to the tentative weeds growing in the small patches of dirt in the ground. “What?”
“Calipso. This is where she lured all these men.”
Nigel chuckled. “You don’t believe those stories, do you?” He asked as he approached her.
“They’re fairytales,” She said as she reached out for his hands. She pressed her lips against his palm, kissing him with everything in her. Her eyes remained locked on his as she sucked on his finger, one by one, until she couldn’t deny herself that other thing she wanted in her mouth.
“You’re so passionate up here.” He trailed his tongue up the side of her neck.
“I’m passionate everywhere.” She dropped to her knees, unbuttoning his linen pants. She kissed him all around his member, worshipping him with her tongue. His hand dug into the top of her blouse, his warm fingers tickling her nipples. She opened her mouth, taking him in as deeply as he could go. He had already begun to taste familiar, like this was the most natural thing in the world to her.
He yanked her up, kissing her as he guided her towards the bench and turned her around. Her hands pressed into the sand-coated rock as he held her by her hips and entered her. It was slow at first as she let herself ease into it, her womanhood slowly opening for him. It seemed to have a life of its own, purring as it hugged him.
He slipped in and out, all the while digging in deeper and deeper. This was what Leigh loved about making love to him. He was just so good at making an event out of it. He savored her as much as she did him and she could feel that and that turned her on even more. As if he could read her mind, he reached forward for her breasts and cupped them. The carried her moans as he started to pick up the paste, in and out and in and out until he was ramming into her over and over again. Her ponytail had whittled down until her hair bounced up and down with his every move.
He leaned onto her, as his groans turned into lengthened moans, as he started to push harder and harder. Leigh could tell he was about to climax because it was always like this. She sucked in a deep breath, closed her eyes and let him take the both of them there.
“Fuck, I need a shower,” She said, a minute and a half later as she started up the nature-made stairs off to the side of the cave.
“No you don’t.”
Leigh huffed out a breath. On top of the cave was a whole nother world on its own. There were trees and brush and flowers so tall, their white petals brushed her knees and the ocean, oh the ocean looked so beautiful from up there at that deceptive height. Leigh wanted to simply jump over the side of that cliff and right down into it. “No, you don’t. No one is gonna be hovering around you to dress you.”
Nigel put his arm around her shoulder. “They’ll be impressed that you seized the moment.”
“Why do you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Speak for an entire group of people like you know what they’re thinking and they’re all thinking the same thing.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t that what art is?”
“You speak for yourself with those photos”
Nigel sighed.
Leigh, sensing she might have brought up a sore topic, smiled at him. “You must have known that. You’re too smart not do.”
“I hate ads and I hate photostories. I’d be there in the action.”
“What do you mean? What action?”
“I’d much rather be on the ground, a war correspondent.”
Leigh eyes went wide. This must have been what girls felt like when their boyfriends enlisted in the army. Yet, she couldn’t deny how proud of him she felt. Suddenly he had grown to be ten feet tall and she found herself openly admiring him because there really was a man in there with a real heart and real goals. She could see him going places, and she could see herself standing right next to him when he did.
“What about you?” He looked down at her, his eyes telling her this was a vulnerable moment for him.
“I wanna be a humanitarian. Something like Princess Diana. I want to be beautiful, but not just because of my face, you know. I want people to love me…” Her voice broke at the end.
He lifted her chin. “People already do.”
Leigh barely had time to think that over before she heard the roar of three trucks coming up the other side of the path.
Chapter Six
In the last hour, Leigh had begun to teeter between absolutely terrified and frighteningly numb. She hadn’t let go of Nigel’s hand because it felt good to hold on to something. That balsamic vinegar had begun to roll around in her belly and she began to wonder if it had been a good idea to eat in the first place. Well, either way, it’s not like she could have known what would happen.
She had become accustomed to the sound of boots every now and then roaming past the open door and she could imagine the chaos that could be happening right outside. By then, cnn would have caught wind of what was going on, along with all of the other main news outlets. They would be outlining the situation, minute by minute, to an international audience of nervous housewives and politicians. She could imagine local outlets would have been on it and maybe even national ones too. She had no doubt that President Obama was sitting in the situation room, ruminating over this. This was serious and she felt small.
Nigel kissed the top of her head. She was so vulnerable that she just let him.
That familiar static filled the room as the intercom came alive again. Leigh knew better than to wonder what these people wanted. It didn’t matter. These stories always ended the same way.
“Omar, be explicit about your demands. Neither one of us have time for a philosophical debate…”
It sounded like the President.
“Before you embarrass yourself, know that all of your people here in this airport are listening
. So, go ahead, tell them their lives mean nothing to you.”
“You have brought them into this. I will not entertain your methods.”
“Very well. We shall see then. I challenge you to come and arrest me, or kill me, I forget your customs here, your morality.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I have an army. Bring yours and see if you can me.”
There was a pause. Even over the intercom, Leigh could hear the shuffling of things: feet, paper…. “There are hundreds of civilians. I can hardly authorize that kind of unfocused force.”
“Why not? You did it all the time in Afghanistan.”
“What if I cannot give you what you ask?”
Omar chuckled. “Don’t worry. Don’t make a quick decision if you don’t to. But, for every hour you waste, I will take a child and kill it. I’ll start now, a down payment if you will, so you know I mean business.”
There was a click as he hung up the intercom telephone.
Leigh gulped. She wracked her brains for all of the terrorist hostage situations she had ever read about. Did they ever get out? What was the precedent for this? What would Obama do? Just as she was thinking all of this, one of Omar’s men came down the hall, dragging a young, blond child no older than six down the hallway.
Leigh could almost feel Nigel’s pulse through his hand. He stood up as the child got closer and closer.
All the sudden, Leigh began to remember things about Nigel, very specific things, like how he could be impulsive, like how he practically believe he was immortal. He stalked out of the room.
Leigh shot up from her seat, hoping to God he just wanted a better look for whatever reason. “NIgel don’t.”
“Let go of the girl.” His even voice practically bounced off the walls.
The man stopped.
The child’s cries lowered to a whimper.
He watched as Nigel knelt down in front of the girl, petting her head cheek and wiping her tears like he was some sort of alien. He clearly hadn’t expected any kind of resistance. The man thought quick, striking Nigel in the forehead with the butt of his gun.
Leigh darted out after him. She didn’t know what she was doing but God she couldn’t let go of him. “What teh fuck, Nigel?” she had to scream over the cries of the girl.
The man just stood over them, that same look of confusion on his face, like he was deciding what to do. Finally, “Get up. You.” He pointed at Nigel. “Come with me.”
As Nigel stood up, swiping the blood away, Leigh put herself in front of him, holding both of his arms as tight as she could. “No, I’m not letting him go.”
Nigel huffed. “What do you think he’ll do if you don’t?”
“Fine, both of you. Go, in front. Now.”
Leigh’s heart pounded harder than it ever had in her life. She couldn’t decide who she hated more, Nigel for trying to be the hero, or herself for falling in love with him all over again because of it.
Chapter Seven
Leigh assumed this would be the moment when her life would be flashing before her eyes, but it wasn’t. All she could think about was what the cnn correspondence would sound like about her. Would they call her a hero or a victim? Would they know that she had a history with Nigel? Would she become his lover fated to disaster? Would any of this matter?
As those two men marched her and Nigel down hallways and around corners, up to the third floor, across the terminal, she wondered what her life had ever meant. She never made it to the cover of Vogue and barely gave an interview that mattered. She hated herself so much in that moment, but not as much as she hated Nigel.
He walked beside her with a stern look on his face, his jaw set and the little girl’s hand in his. Her crying had been reduced to stray sniffles, her eyes had tried and she seemed to lean into. Leigh refused to let this sight soften her, refused to let her mind stray to what could have been. Eventually, they went out into the staircase and were marched up another flight of stairs. They eventually arrived at a heavy door. The man stopped and banged on the door with his gun.
The girl jumped at this, clinging to Nigel’s wrist.
A man dressed much like their own captor yanked the door open. He took one look at four of them and his brow furrowed with confusion. “What is this?”
The man shrugged. “They resisted.”
He narrowed his eyes. “And you didn’t shoot them?”
“That didn’t sound like my decision.”
Leigh clenched her jaw at the sound of frustration in that man’s voice.
“Omar!” Jerome opened the door wider, revealing a control room crawling with men in uniform. A man stood in the middle of a large switchboard at the center of the room. He wore a dark sweater, black dress pants and alligator print shoes. Leigh crumpled under the weight of his fierce stare. His green eyes contrasted with his midnight black hair.
Leigh shook in her shoes as Jerome grabbed her arm. She didn’t even realize how attached to Nigel she felt until she had been ripped away from him.
“I don’t need this right now.” Omar hissed at the two men. “I gave you one job: find me a child.” His body shook with his words, a kind of tension only extreme anger could produce. “And you fucked it up!”
Jerome glanced at Caled, a pointed look on his face. “I told him to just kill them.”
Omar ducked his head at the two of them. “We can’t just go killing them. The president will think we’re irrational. He won’t give me anything if he thinks I’ll kill all those pigs anyway.”
“We have to do something,” Caled said.
Omar shook his head, waving his hand in dismissal. “Just put them in the. You watch them, Caled. This is your fucking fault.”
Caled grabbed Leigh’s arm and threw her across the room. She gasped as her head his the concrete wall, the pain ringing through her skull. The girl was next, followed by Nigel. She started sniffling and her sniffles grew into full blown screams.
Omar grunted. “I swear to God I will kill that piece of shit. I don’t care if anyone is watching.”
Leigh gulped, her eyes watering as she picked up the girl and held her in her lap. Don’t cry. Just don’t fucking cry. Suddenly all those answers to those life questions came to mind. She could have been something, really meant something to someone. This child had an entire world in her parents and she was a world to them too. Now Leigh couldn’t feel anymore frigid than she did in that moment, disconnected to this tiny ball of life, a failure in every single sense of the word.
She held the child tight, taking in whiffs of the argan oil in her hair as she wished for her not to cry.
Nigel swiped the blood away from his forehead one more time before wrapping his arm around Leigh.
Her heart burst in her chest. She couldn’t handle how much of a family they felt like, albeit a screwed up one. She could have had this, she was so close to it. As she stared up at Nigel, the noise of the rest of the room had blurred into nothing. He trembled just as much as she did, the cool guy reduced to fear, fear born out of love, for her for life. He didn’t want to lose any of it. He held onto her as an anchor. In that moment, staring death in the face, she had never felt closer to him.
And yet she screamed her lie in her head. It begged to be set free.
“Nigel,” She whispered. This was not the right time, but she knew, just by looking at his bloodshot eyes, that there was no turning back now.
Leigh kissed the girl’s forehead, rocking her back and forth, holding her like she was her own.
“How did you get so good with children?”
The words slashed right through her heart. Leigh had never regretted anything so much in her life than right then and there. “I’m not. I’m terrible with children.” Their voices were lost in the sound of chatter filling the control room. Caled hardly looked at the three of them.
“What do you mean?”
Leigh couldn’t hold any of it in anymore. She let the hot, thin tears stream down her face as she leaned on him, bu
rying her head in his neck.
He rubbed her back. “I know,” He whispered, “I’m scared too.”
“I can’t die yet. I haven’t done anything.”
He planted a kiss on her forehead. “You’re brilliant.”
“I’m evil and selfish.”
He held her face in both of his hands, forcing her to look up at him. Leigh could barely hear him over the whimpering of the little girl. “Where is this coming from?”
“I had a child and I left her and now I’ll stop existing and it won’t matter to her. It won’t make a difference. Because I wasn’t there. Because I was afraid.”
Nigel glowered, his lips folding into a frown, his eyes going to a far off place. “When?”
This was the hard part. Leigh didn’t know how to say this out loud.
“Don’t lie to me, Leigh.”
“I never lied to you. You never gave me that chance.”
“When?”
“After us.”
His hand melted off of her shoulder, he leaned back on to the wall, his eyes barely open. “I have a daughter?”
This was the absolute worst time for a man to learn he was a father. “Yes.”
He set his jaw. Leigh could almost see his heart shutting to her.
Chapter Eight
Leigh wanted to bang her head against the wall. “How could you be so selfish?” Her words echoed back to her, bouncing off the walls of Nigel’s villa.
Nigel slammed his glass on the dinner table, whiskey sploshing out of it. “Are you kidding me? Selfish? I’m doing the world a service.”
“How stupid do you think I am? You’re doing this for yourself.” Leigh couldn’t believe it. Just when she had fallen in love with him, he would do anything in his power to make sure they couldn’t be together. “Why are you doing this to me?”
Nigel’s eyes flashed wide. “This isn’t about you!”
“That’s exactly the point!” Leigh was seeing red. Her whole body shook with anger. She wanted to cry and scream, choke him and hold him all at once. “People are dying in Syria every day!”
