by C. M. Owens
“And I’m going to tell him when I’m ready,” I say defensively. “This is my child. Not any of yours.”
“She’s right,” Raya says, then she gets glared at by everyone. Raya shrugs. “What? She is. This isn’t our business. I’ve had my entire Drivel family poking their noses into my engagement since they found out about it. Kade’s family is determined to make this a historical event. No one cares what we think, and it’s our lives. Just like this is Bella’s life.”
“And a child’s life too,” Ash says, sitting up a little straighter as her eyes meet mine. She’s the only one in the room to understand my situation, so when she speaks, I listen.
“You’re not staying silent because this is what you want. You think you’re being noble by sparing him the responsibility you believe he doesn’t want in his life, right?” she asks softly.
It’s not the only reason, but I slowly nod, finding it a little eerie about how dead-on she is about half of my reason.
“I’m a hypocrite for even saying this, but you should tell him. It’s the thing I regret most.” Tears glimmer in her eyes as she chokes back her emotion. “Tag is such an incredible father, but in the beginning, I never thought it would be what he wanted. I was you, Bella. I didn’t want to take away his fun life with the responsibility that comes with a child. And every single day, I live with the regret of that being the wrong decision, because it was. Don’t take this away from Ethan. Let him decide how he feels. Don’t decide it for him.”
And just like that, the rug is jerked out from under me. There was never a time that I wasn’t going to tell Ethan. I was just hoping that by some miracle, we’d be that family… Like Tag and Ash. Like Wren and Allie… Like Dane and Rain…
In my head, somewhere in the back, I was holding out for the possibility of that picture-perfect family. One where he loved me and his unborn child. One where this was all he wanted.
Telling him means watching his face fall as his future is ripped away. This baby means everything to me.
That hope for that family has been keeping me sane and warm. When the illusion finally shatters, it’ll be devastating, because I know we’ll never be like all of them. As soon as he finds out, that hope will be stripped away and I’ll be left cold.
Reality is colder than denial. It’s more commanding and harsh under the microscope.
The dam breaks, and I drop to my knees, crying once again as the weight of it all crashes down on me without mercy. They don’t even know why I’m crying, but they think they do.
I’m swarmed with arms wrapping around me, as the family I never had suddenly comes to be a sisterhood I never expected. And for the first time in my life, I fall apart in front of someone other than Allie, losing that last bit of pride I was clinging to.
Now I have nothing.
Chapter 63
ETHAN
“Misery loves company,” Star says as she sits down beside me and snatches the bottle of whiskey from my hand.
I haven’t had even a sip. I’ve just been holding it, staring at it, waiting to find what I loved about it so much. No luck. It’s the same whiskey I was drinking the night I destroyed everything Bella felt for me.
“No parties?” she asks.
“What are you doing back here?” I ask, staring out at my pool now instead of the bottle of whiskey.
“No one answered the front door.”
“And you took that as a cue to come back here?”
“Your car was out front. Has been for a few days.”
“Stalking me now?” I ask bitterly. “Pretty sure I made it clear I don’t want to ever touch you again.”
“Oh, that message was received loud and clear. And for the record, my mother lives two houses down from you, so no, I’m not stalking you. I’ve been staying with her.”
“Why are you here?” I groan, annoyed with her.
“You did pretty much destroy the girl you apparently care a lot about, and you used me to do it. Then you shoved me away while you chased after her. The least you can do is offer me a drink.”
I’d do anything to take that night back. “Did I hurt you?” I ask, even though I’m not sure if I even care if I did.
She rolls her eyes. “Physically, no. Emotionally? Yes. In my head, there’d always been something special between us. But that night, I saw the truth. It’s almost like seeing yourself in the dark for most of your life, and suddenly the light comes on and exposes all the flaws that have been hiding in the shadows.”
“What does that mean?” I ask, too exhausted and exasperated to just walk away at the moment.
“It means, I’ve spent all these years blaming myself for what happened between us.”
“You did cheat on me,” I remind her.
“Yeah, but I never really meant anything to you, Ethan. You kept this wall between us that kept me from getting closer than you wanted me. I thought maybe you just weren’t ready. Then Maverick was bursting with energy, but honestly, he was no different. You think you’re closer to him, but then you realize Maverick only gives you the illusion you’re closer than you are. In the end, I was hurt twice. You were only hurt once.”
“And that somehow exonerates you from your guilt? Glad to be of assistance,” I state dryly.
“I came to be nice, so stop being a dick.”
Rolling my eyes, I sit back on my chair, cross my arms over my chest, and ignore her. If Bella was to come up, it would definitely ruin any shred of hope I had left. If Star doesn’t leave soon, I’ll carry her ass out of here and toss her into the house two doors down, if that’s really her mom’s.
“Anyway, you did Bella the same way you did me.”
“Don’t,” I caution, cutting my eyes toward her as anger wells up and steals away the exhaustion. She shrinks under my gaze. “Bella and you have nothing in common. I was an idiot with Bella, and she was a hell of a lot better to me than you ever were. Maybe you should find a little more light. I think you’re missing a few flaws. Because I know I fucked up with Bella, but it was completely different than it was with you.”
Standing, I turn and walk inside, leaving her by my pool as I slam the door and lock it. I’m not sure if she thought a heart-to-heart with her would give me some grand epiphany or what. But no. I don’t need Star telling me what I did wrong with Bella.
I’m sure in her own twisted way she thought she was doling out words of wisdom, but she’s so far out of her depth that it’s not even funny.
I thought I saw a future with Star once.
I was wrong. She was nothing to me the way I thought she was.
I know I lost my future when Bella walked away.
I just didn’t realize it until it was too late. It felt like a sledgehammer busted through my spine and stole every ounce of good in my life. But I’m not ready to give up. This time, I know where I went wrong.
Chapter 64
ETHAN
“Hey, thanks for comi—you’re not Rain,” Wren says as he opens the door.
“Not since I last checked,” I tell him with an arched eyebrow. “Expecting Rain?”
“Well, I was hoping. Not really expecting. Brin was supposed to watch Angel for us, but she’s sick, and I have that business meeting uptown. I’d like to have Allie with me, since she’s worked so hard with me on this, but we can’t both go if no one is here to watch Angel. I left a message for Rain, but she hasn’t called back.”
“What about your Mom?”
“Out of town. Tria is getting over some virus that’s been going around, and Ruby and Corbin are out with Bo and Jax. Bella is coming over when she gets back from her doctor’s appointment, but she won’t be here in time for us to leave.”
My heart gets slapped around in my chest like a jackhammer has been unleashed. Wren eyes me like he’s waiting on something.
“What the fuck is wrong with her?” I demand when he doesn’t volunteer the information.
“Nothing. Just a checkup. Allie said she couldn’t cancel it because of her work
schedule.”
“I’ll watch Angel until Bella shows up.”
He laughs. Actually laughs.
“Sorry, but you’re not using my child to get a chance to see Bella. I happen to love my daughter, and I want to get her back in one piece.”
“And I can’t handle a kid? You seriously don’t trust me to take care of your daughter?”
Yeah, it’s like a punch to the nuts to hear him say that.
His laughter dies, and his expression sobers.
“You’re serious right now? Man, you wouldn’t even go see Bella when Angel was at her house. And now you’re volunteering to babysit?”
“Let me. Unless you really don’t trust me.”
I can see the indecision in his eyes, but even at my worst, Wren knows I’d never let anything happen to his daughter. At least I hope he knows that.
“She’s pretty pissed at you right now,” he says, now amused. “Apparently you promised her that her mother would be giving her a baby sister, and now she’s not getting one.”
Surprise hits me, along with a pang of regret. “Allie lost the baby?”
I can’t believe he didn’t tell me this.
He frowns. “No. Apparently the tests were wrong. I went to the doctor with her myself. But now that she knows I’m ready for another child, we’re discussing it. She said she wants to wait until the wedding is over before we start trying though.”
His smile returns as he adds, “In the meantime, we’re just practicing.”
Didn’t need that much information.
“So do you trust me or not?”
“I trust you,” he says on a long sigh. “But she really is pissed at you.”
“I can handle a pissed off kid.”
Shrugging, he walks back in, and I follow him. Angel is in the living room, and she snarls when she sees me. Apparently she’s legitimately pissed.
I really suck with women of all ages.
“You lied,” she says.
But I also have charm. Sort of.
“Did I?” I ask, cocking my head to the side.
“You said I’d be getting a baby sister.”
“But I didn’t say when,” I point out.
She narrows her eyes at me, but apparently she sees the logic. Thankfully. Most kids aren’t too logical, so I guess I’m lucky.
“So mommy will have a baby one day?”
“A baby sister,” I correct.
Maybe by the time it happens, Angel won’t remember this if it turns out to be a baby brother.
Her smile forms, and instantly it seems like I’m forgiven. I wish all women were that easy. I’d promise Bella thirty baby sisters if that’s all it took.
“Why are you here?” she muses as I go to sit down on the couch behind her.
I came to see if Wren would toss me a bone as to where Bella is hiding out. Because she is hiding out. I was hoping a face-to-face would get me more answers from him than texting or calling has gotten me.
“I’m here to babysit until Aunt Bella shows up to take over.”
“But you’re an asshole,” she states bluntly.
It’s hard not to smile, but I manage to restrain it. Well, most of it.
“I am an asshole,” I agree. “But I don’t think you’re supposed to be using that word.”
She darts her eyes around the room, like she’s worried someone else heard. Then she looks back at me and whispers, “Don’t tell on me.”
“It’ll be our little secret.”
Her grin broadens. “Aunt Bella has a secret too.”
I won’t lie and say that just her name doesn’t have my hair standing on end. I inch closer, waiting for her to tell me what it is, but Wren walks back in with Allie on his heels.
“Hey,” Allie says warily, regarding me with her daughter. “Are you sure you can handle this?”
I’m more surprised by the fact she’s okay with me being here, considering she’s like Bella’s sister, and by proxy, that makes me the enemy.
“Positive. When’s Bella coming?”
Her lips thin, but she clears her throat. “Less than an hour. You’re good? You ever done this before?”
“I’ve done my share of babysitting,” I lie. I have no fucking clue what to do with a damn kid, but I’m not telling her that and losing the one chance I’ve had to see Bella again.
My car is two blocks away, because traffic was backed up on this road. I parked and walked instead of waiting. Bella won’t even know I’m here.
“Don’t tell her I’m here.”
Allie snorts derisively. “I’m not keeping this from her.”
“She won’t show up if she knows,” I point out. “How long do you want me here, Allie? Less than an hour, or half the night if the deal goes good?”
Her eyes shift between me and her daughter, and she probably gets worried that I might have her on the back of a motorcycle and getting a tattoo, because she blows out a defeated breath.
“Fine. I won’t tell her. But not because you want to see her. It’s because I think she needs to see you.”
With that, she walks out, no explanation or anything to go along with the vague remark. Wren shrugs like he’s clueless about what that means, but it gives me hope.
Once they’re gone, I turn to face Angel, watching as she smiles over at me.
“What’s Aunt Bella’s secret?”
“What will you give me if I tell you?” she asks.
“What do you want?”
Her brow furrows. “I want a waterpark. And this time I’m not telling you the secret until you give me the thing I want. You’re like a tricky genie.”
She points a finger at me, and I groan inwardly.
“Waterparks take a really long time to build,” I say hopefully.
She frowns. “How long?”
“Years, possibly. By then I’ll learn the secret from someone else, and won’t need to build it.”
She looks truly distraught. So much so that I’m tempted to really build a motherfucking waterpark. Fucking eh. How does Wren deal with her pout and not cave to everything?
“I’ll think of something else.”
I nod, waiting. But when she goes back to brushing her doll’s hair, I realize she doesn’t mean this instant.
“How about something to eat while you think it over?” I suggest, needing her away from the distracting doll.
“Pancakes?”
“I burn them.”
“Tacos?”
“I burn those too.”
“Can you cook?” she asks skeptically, her expression of disbelief comical.
“Not even a little bit.”
She blows out an exaggerated breath. “Jelly sandwich will do.”
Smiling, I stand and head to the kitchen. By the time I finish the sandwich for her, she’s at the table. She eats, and I offer several suggestions—stickers, markers, chalk… Everything I think a kid can be bribed with.
Angel is so damn spoiled that she has everything a kid could want, except a damn waterpark. Fucking Wren.
After forty minutes, I realize I’m running low on time, and I’ve already had a tea party with imaginary tea. I even stuck my damn pinky up when Angel berated me on proper etiquette. The stupid bear sitting with us didn’t get lectured about his pinky. Not that he has one, but still.
There’s was a damn tiara on my head, for fuck’s sake—not anymore. I’ve endured hell, trying to get one snippet of a hint about Bella’s secret.
“I have a puppy. Uncle Rye gave it to us. Now I want a kitty so they can be friends.”
Ah shit. Wren is going to fucking kill me.
“That’s what you want in exchange for Aunt Bella’s secret?
“Yes,” she says matter-of-factly.
“Mommy can’t have a baby if she has a kitty,” I say, hoping she comes up with something else that I can just run down the road and grab.
Her little brow wrinkles in frustration. “Why?”
“I don’t know. Something about the ki
tty litter. I read it one time in one of your mom’s magazines when I was waiting on Wren one day. He takes a while to get ready sometimes.”
“Is that why Aunt Bella got rid of Bananas? Is she having a baby?”
My stomach twists in a ridiculous knot. That cat was a devil, but I had no idea she got rid of it.
“She got rid of Bananas?” I ask, confused.
She nods. “She gave her back to Maverick. And he said it was something about her doctor told her she couldn’t have it. Does that mean she’s pregnant?”
Maverick never fucking told me that.
“Am I going to be an aunt too?”
“Cousin,” I say distractedly, so fucking out of sorts that I don’t really know what to say. “You’d be the baby’s cousin.”
“I’m going to have a cousin!” Angel shouts, jumping up. “Make it a girl and I’ll tell you her secret!”
I don’t know if I’m lightheaded, dizzy, nauseated, or all three combined. Standing doesn’t work out, so I stay seated.
Surely she’s not pregnant. She’d have told me that.
I’m an asshole, but not even I’m that big of an asshole.
“Yeah,” I say to Angel, agreeing to who the hell knows what when she starts tugging at my hand.
“Yay! Her secret is that she’s got a boyfriend named Bob.”
Who the fucking hell is Bob?
“Daddy laughed when I told him mommy had a boyfriend named Bob. You’re not laughing,” Angel points out, but my head is swimming, still stuck on the pregnant thing.
“Aunt Bella! You’re here! My cousin is going to be a girl!”
My head jerks to the door where Bella is standing with wide, shocked eyes, and the color slowly drains from her face.
Her look says it all.
Bella’s pregnant.
And she wasn’t going to tell me.
I thought she, of all people, would never count me out.
Chapter 65
BELLA
Horrified. Shocked. Sick. Maybe even a little dizzy?
Yes. Yes. I’m all those things.
Angel knows? How the hell does Angel know? Allie would never tell her. Hell, she hasn’t even told Wren.
