by Sloan Storm
With that, I explained to them I’d have a talk with Fiona right away and a minute or so later, they left my office and headed back down to the lab.
FIONA
I hadn’t spoken to Gabe since the disaster at dinner the other night. Holly’s instructions to me were vague. She only said Gabe needed to see me in his office. He hadn’t even requested I bring anything related to work in the lab. So naturally, I assumed the reason for the summons had something to with our relationship outside the workplace.
Holly escorted me into Gabe’s office and closed the door behind her as she left. There was nothing but still air between us, no conversation. The only sound at all was that of Gabe, as he sat behind his desk scribbling notes. The tip of his pen squeaked across the page, as he wrote with sharp, vigorous strokes. I hesitated just near the door, crossing my hands in front of my waist and clasping my charm bracelet. Just then, Gabe spoke without looking up, startling me back to full awareness.
“Sit down, Fiona.”
I swallowed and started to shuffle in the direction of his desk. As I did, I remembered the trick he’d played on me once before, when I couldn’t decide which chair to pick. Hoping to ease the obvious tension, I decided to have a bit of fun with it.
“Which one?” I asked, as I pointed at the chairs.
Gabe stopped writing. He raised his head, glared at me and tossed his pen from between his fingertips with a disgusted flick. Through a face darkened with concern, he reiterated his command.
“Sit. Down.”
I nodded, and without uttering another syllable, I slid into one of the chairs across from his desk. Gabe remained silent for several seconds without so much as a blink of his eyes until at last, he spoke.
“What did I tell you, Fiona? About the team? Do you remember?”
I honestly had no clue what he was getting at. I shrugged and shook my head. “Um, that I needed to make sure I didn’t lose them and…”
“Christ!” he said as he waved me off. With a flourish, Gabe shoved his chair out from beneath him and stood. Startled by the swiftness, I flinched and recoiled into my seat. Whatever was on his mind had his full attention. Before I’d arrived he’d rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt. As his chair banged into the wall behind him, Gabe pressed his palms on the top of his desk.
I broke eye contact with him for an instant just to get a look at the sinewy musculature of his exposed forearms. He fought the motion of his fingertips, which threatened to curl in anger and as he did, his tanned skin flexed and pulsed. Even in the midst of his rage, or because of it, I found myself fighting a familiar urge. I drew my eyes back up towards him and as subtly as I could, I pressed my thighs together, hoping he wouldn’t notice.
Gabe looked down at me.
“Do you know that I’ve been forced to deal with the consequences of your mismanagement? You’ve got a full blown mutiny on your hands Fiona.”
Flabbergasted, not to mention completely taken by surprise, I shook my head as I replied.
“Mutiny? What are you talking about? Everything is fine. We’re ahead of schedule.”
As I spoke, Gabe reached behind himself, rolled his chair back towards his desk and slid into it. His demeanor shifted from anger to focus.
“No. It isn’t, Fiona.”
He spent the next few minutes recapping a supposed meeting that occurred in his office prior to my arrival. Led by Amanda and Melissa, several other junior scientists claimed I’d been pushing them too hard to get the work done. I hadn’t heard a single word of complaint and now, this? Thinning my lips in disgust, I sat there as Gabe laid the collective complaints bare before me. Was this Amanda and Melissa’s grand plan to get me? Nothing else made sense to me as he wrapped up his summary with a stern warning.
“I’m not going to rehash this with you anymore, Fiona. You’ve got to find a way to get the work done without driving the team into exhaustion. Do I make myself clear?”
I nodded. “Yes.”
Gabe broke eye contact with me, picked up his pen and began to write once more. “All right then, well, I think the first order of business is for you to meet with the entire team and deal with it. Now, back to the lab and get to it. As of this moment, I’m done with this matter.”
The idea of doing it revolted me. Was it my fault that they couldn’t, or wouldn’t, work as hard as I did? As I sat there while Gabe berated me, it didn’t seem as if he’d been even-handed with his discipline. Why was he so unwilling to hear my side of this situation? Why would he naturally assume that I was the only problem here? As the seconds ticked by, I began to wonder if in fact he wasn’t using this, at least in some way, as punishment for what happened at dinner. After all, we never talked about it. He just sent me home. All of a sudden, the notion didn’t seem crazy in the slightest.
Apparently, I’d sat there for a moment too long. Gabe shifted his attention from his notes and looked up at me.
“Why are you still here?”
I straightened myself in my chair, tugging my hair behind my ears as I searched for the courage to ask him about my suspicions.
“Well?” he grumbled. “Time is wasting. Do you have something to say?”
I nodded and took a quick swallow as I replied.
“Um… well, I’m not sure how to begin.”
Gabe rocked back in his chair, dropping his pen on the desk as he did. “For fuck’s sake. What is it, Fiona? Get to it. I’m busy.”
“No, no,” I replied. I sensed the courage drain from me as his frustration resurfaced. “It’s nothing. I’ll handle it. I’ll do as you asked and…”
“No,” he said, cutting me off mid-sentence. “Tell me what’s on your mind. But make it quick.”
I stood from my chair. As I did, I studied him while I tried to figure out the simplest way to ask the question. Whether I was right or wrong, I had to know the truth. Unfortunately, there just wasn’t an easy way to do it. And so, after a deep inhale, I blurted it out.
“Um, is this about what happened between us at the restaurant?”
As I finished, I watched as Gabe’s face twisted into a mask of disgust. He scoffed as he looked up in my direction. “You can’t be fucking serious right now, Fiona.”
Before I could respond, Gabe stood from his chair and started around the desk to walk towards me. Out of instinct, I started to back away from him until I bumped into the conference table, stopping my momentum.
“What?” I said, half-terrified all of a sudden. “What did I say?”
Gabe wiped his mouth with the palm of his hand.
“Fiona,” he growled. “The reason we are discussing this is because you are in charge of a team responsible for a project that could be worth hundreds of billions to this company. Do you honestly think I would let something as trivial as whatever happened between us put that at risk? Do you?”
I didn’t know whether to walk away or run. Instead, frozen in place by fear, I did neither. Gabe stood not more than a foot from me. His entire body flexed with controlled rage as he glared down at me. His chest rose and fell with dissipating waves of anger as he waited for me to respond.
After another second or two, I did.
“No, of course not.”
He nodded for a second or so before he turned away from me and walked back towards his chair.
“Now get out of here and get your fucking team handled. This is not a conversation I want to have with you again.”
I traced his steps with my eyes until he rolled beneath his desk once more.
“Go,” he snarled without looking up. “Now.”
Without a word, I turned and walked out of his office. A few moments later, as I rode down in the elevator, Gabe’s words echoed in my mind. What did he mean when he said, ‘whatever happened between us’? He used past tense. Was it accidental or intentional?
Based on the way he’d behaved towards me recently, I began to realize maybe his choice of words wasn’t an accident at all. Maybe he was tired of me already. If he was, well, I was on shaki
er ground than I’d realized. Even though I hadn’t relied on our dalliances to shelter me from staff conflicts, the truth was they did. If they were indeed over, I would have to work much harder, not to mention smarter, in order to keep my job.
FIONA
As I exited the elevator, thoughts of my grandmother popped into my mind.
I’d been unable to wake her that morning. She hadn’t felt well enough to eat, and just getting her to take her medications had been a challenge in recent days. Before I left for the office earlier in the day, I stood next to her bed. Reaching down, I slid my fingers between the smattering of fine hairs on her head. With each day that passed, it was as if she had fewer and fewer of them. I did my best to fight off the hard lump in the center of my throat as I looked at her.
Was I wrong all along?
Should I let her just live out her remaining days in any manner she saw fit? Her doctors offered little in the way of assurances aside from tired bromides and platitudes about survival rates.
Who was I kidding?
When her time came, I’d still have to live my life. I couldn’t use her as an excuse for not getting what I wanted. If there’s one thing she’d shown me with all the years she’d fought, it’s that life owes you nothing. And that’s doubly true for people. Angry though he was, Gabe still trusted me enough to see this through.
Somehow I’d have to find a way to deal with them and… myself.
And so it was when I exited the elevator from Gabe’s office, I headed straight for the lab, filled with determination.
Balls.
I managed to make it down the hallway. The entire time, I chanted my mantra in silence… Balls. Balls. Balls.
With a final deep breath, I opened the door to the lab. As soon as I did, a dozen pairs of eyes locked on me and with all the effort I’d used to build myself up, just as quickly it vanished into the air like a harmless puff of steam. They stared at me in collective arrogance, knowing where I’d been.
I swallowed as I entered, allowing my hair to drape around my eyes. I drew my shoulders up towards my ears, clutching the strap of my purse as I meandered between the workstations. I hadn’t done anything to these people. All I’d done was work harder. Do better.
As I continued on, a sudden sound broke the silence as Amanda and Melissa snickered.
“You see,” Melissa began. “What did I tell you?”
As she spoke I squeezed the strap of my purse so tight, it felt as if I could tear it free from its stitching. I froze in place and turned back to face them. Their game was obvious but what they didn’t know was that I held the most powerful weapon of all, Gabe’s blessing.
Balls.
After repositioning my purse on my shoulder, I thinned my lips and marched towards them. I watched as their expressions changed from smug certainty to bewildered doubt. Without a word, I continued across the room until I stood between them. Once I did, I turned and faced the rest of the team.
Where the strength came from, I had no idea. Perhaps it was a case of temporary insanity. Or perhaps I was channeling Gabe or, maybe, my grandmother.
No matter, because as I glared at them all chatter in the lab ceased.
“Everyone, to the break room, please,” I said, in the most solemn tone I could muster after clearing my throat. “Drop whatever you are doing and go. Right now.”
I stood to one side and gestured for them all pass by me. As they did, I trembled, almost to the point of shaking. How the hell was I going to get through this? I didn’t even know what I was going to say. I waited until the last of them turned the corner. After a deep inhale, I reminded myself of my mantra and followed behind.
I walked in after them, and as I did, one by one, they grabbed seats in the plastic chairs that dotted the interior of the break room. After a final hard swallow, I decided that since I didn’t have the experience I needed, I’d have to fake it. At the last instant, my mind hatched a fantastic plan. I’d handle this situation just like Gabe. You know, I’d mimic him. After all, I’d been around him enough times now to at least give it a shot.
Soon enough, everyone settled into their seats. As they did, an unexpected flutter erupted in my stomach, threatening to derail me. I thinned my lips.
No, no, no! Go Fiona! Do it! Do it now!
With that, I cleared my throat and began. “I’m not going to waste a lot of time here. There’s an awful lot of work to do and not much time to finish it. I’ve been told some of you have a problem with my leadership, me as a person or both. I’m not interested in getting into a series of disagreements. What I am interested in is finishing our work. I realize you don’t like me. I wish I could do something to change that, but I can’t. Be that as it may, we need to pull together for the company’s sake and for Gabe.”
I paused for a moment, drawing my hands behind my back. For an instant, I ran my fingers over the stones on my charm bracelet before I interlocked my digits tight, hoping that would ease the shaking. Moisture wicked from my mouth as I paused, and so before I spoke once again, I tried my best to reverse that as well.
For the moment, it worked. I continued.
“Here’s what I will offer you though. If you’ll just fight through this with me, I’ll promise any of you that when the project is over, I’ll get any of you who want to transferred out of the lab and into another department. I don’t want you to work under me if you find the pressure to be too great. Does anyone have questions?”
I turned my head in the direction of the problem’s source… Amanda and Melissa.
“Anyone?” I asked.
To my complete shock, everyone in the room remained silent. I couldn’t believe it. I’d built this moment up in my mind for nothing. A surge of adrenaline coursed through my veins as I spoke once again.
“This is the only time we’re going to discuss this matter. If you have something, anything, to say, now is the time.”
As before, everyone remained quiet. I waited for a few more seconds before nodding in the direction of the wall clock in the break room.
“All right, then. Let’s get back to work.”
In less than a minute, everyone stood and returned to the lab. Left alone with my thoughts for a moment, I only had one. I wished my grandmother, and perhaps even more so Gabe, could have seen me.
I smiled.
GABE
My confidence in Fiona ebbed and flowed. At the moment, it was low tide on the beach of her fledgling career.
The simple facts were that her victory in the competition held less importance than the position she was in now. This was even more the case considering I intended to have her do the corporate presentation in St. Barths. And so once again, I’d turned to Andrew to give me details about her behavior. I simply couldn’t risk not knowing.
I’d taken him out of the loop since Fiona won the competition, not sensing a need to have him involved with reporting back to me. I tasked him instead with prep work for the upcoming presentation in St. Barths. However, distraction though it was, I found it preferable to more surprise meetings from the lab staff.
The first thing I wanted an update on was how she handled the strict orders I gave her to get the team in line. I had to know, once and for all, if Fiona was indeed capable. If not, this would likely be my last chance to find out with any degree of confidence before the meetings. As much as I didn’t want to do it at this late stage, if she couldn’t pull it off, I’d have to replace her.
I had no alternative.
After summoning Andrew to my office, I wasted no time. As it was, I didn’t have any to spare. It had been a few days since my talk with her, plenty of time to get a sense of how she’d done.
“Well, it wasn’t pretty, Gabe. At least in the beginning.”
“What do you mean?”
Andrew spent a bit of time recapping Fiona’s first foray into staff discipline. And while she had a number of bumps and bruises in the process, she hadn’t suffered any broken bones. In other words, she’d handled it well, and
for the moment anyway, it appeared as though she’d avoided any major revolts.
Relieved, albeit still uneasy, I reclined in my chair, interlacing my fingers behind my head. “So, where do we stand?”
“Well, she left little room for disagreement or misunderstanding, Gabe. She more or less told everyone that if they didn’t want to remain on the team either due to personal issues with her or an unwillingness to adhere to the aggressive schedule, that she would see to it they could get a transfer at the completion of the project.”
I nodded as he spoke. “All right, well, how has it gone since?”
Andrew tented his eyebrows at me. “Honestly?”
“Of course.”
“It’s been fine. No issues. I’m not sure what your objectives were, but I’ve not seen things run this smoothly since Fiona assumed control. Whatever you told her appears to have done the trick.”
Unbelievable.
I had little confidence, more like none, she’d actually go through with it. If I hadn’t been sitting down, I might have fallen down. I nodded yet again, acting as if I expected nothing less, yet still uncertain whether there would be little more than a skeleton lab team left before long. I hated walking this tightrope with her, partially because it was a mess I’d helped to create and partially because Fiona couldn’t see how simple this would be, if she’d just do as I said.
I shifted my upper body forward in my chair and folded my hands together on my desk. “Anything else?”
“Hmm, no.” Andrew said, as he shook his head. “Not right now.”
“Okay,” I began. After placing my palms flat on the desk, I stood and continued, “Just keep doing what you’ve been doing, Andrew. I’ll let you know when, or if, I no longer require your assistance. Of course, if there’s anything completely out of the ordinary, let me know. In the meantime, I’ll have a chat with Fiona.”
Andrew took my hand in his, shaking it. “Will do, Gabe.”
Less than a minute later, Andrew exited my office, while I slid into my chair and snatched my office phone from its cradle. Reaching down to the dial pad, I pressed a couple of the hard plastic keys and dialed Fiona’s extension. On the third ring, she answered.
