As her head broke into the cool sunshine, Jules threw her arms out over the ledge, pulling with her shoulders to lift herself up and away from Guy’s strong hold.
For one moment, as she blinked in the bright daylight, her arms clawing the ground for support, she thought she would make it.
And then she froze.
‘You okay?’ Guy called out from below.
‘Yes,’ she lied as she fought to summon more strength from somewhere inside.
Nothing happened.
Her legs tangled heavily back into the darkness.
She scanned the landscape hoping for a bush or anything she could grab hold off, but the only thing in reach was the slippery wet grass surrounding her.
‘Sure?’
‘I’m stuck,’ she admitted thought gritted teeth. ‘I can’t pull myself up,’ she said as the weight of her legs began to pull her back into the hole.
‘Okay, don’t worry, just gently slide back down and I’ll grab you.’
‘No I ca-’ Before Jules could finish her sentence the earth supporting her arms gave way and she found herself in free fall for the third time in as many days.
Jules could do nothing to stop herself colliding with Guy’s body as they fell to the ground again.
Twenty-three
The shock of her touch hurtled through him as if he’d connected with a 240volt current. The dizzying warmth of her body felt like a sickening fairground ride, spinning around and around blurring his vision and leaving his stomachs in knots.
How had he forgotten that feeling?
It took him a moment to realise he hadn’t. He had locked it away somewhere out of reach the day he’d left. It was the only way he’d been able to keep walking.
Only then did he realise that it was that feeling that had been seeping out of its hiding place, making its way into his songs and guiding him back to her.
In that moment, as their bodies collided, it flooded back to him, ingraining itself within his every being. Like an almost forgotten dream, floating on the outskirts of memory until something jogs it into consciousness.
At that exact moment, he knew with sickening clarity that he had made the biggest mistake of his life five years ago. The thought left one question burning into him: was he too late?
‘Oh ouch that hurt,’ Jules spluttered.
‘Shit. Are you okay?’
Jules did not respond, but Guy could feel her body shuddering from their tangled position on the ground.
‘Hey Jules it’s okay, look we’re fine,’ he tried to reassure her.
‘I’m not crying, oh god I can’t breathe…fallen three times in three days,’ she laughed.
The sound filled him with an intoxicating mixture of desire and hope.
Then her laughter stopped. As quickly as their bodies had fallen to the floor, Jules jumped up, turning her back to him and brushing away the clumps of damp earth clinging to her clothes.
The loss of her touch caused an emptiness to engulf him.
‘Why haven’t you asked me whether I meant it?’ he blurted out, scrambling to his feet.
‘Meant what?’ She kept her back to him.
‘What I said in the interview.’
Jules stopped moving as an unbearable silence grew between them. Finally she replied: ‘What difference does it make?’
‘Because I…’ emotion overwhelmed him. ‘I made the biggest mistake of my life leaving you and I have to know if there’s a chance we could start again.’
She stood like a statue, as if his words had frozen her. Then she whispered: ‘I can’t, it’s too late.’
‘Why?’ Guy reached a hand out to her bare arm, twisting her body towards him, her expression still hidden as Jules kept her face tilted downwards.
‘I’ve moved on. I don’t feel that way anymore,’ she replied, her tone suddenly defiant.
‘You don’t mean that.’ Guy lifted his hand to her cheek, running a finger across the smooth skin and gently moving her face up to his.
As their eyes connected in the dim, Guy saw for the first time the deep wells of sadness behind her stubborn expression. The emotion jumping between them as he realised the depth of the hurt he’d caused her.
‘I do Guy. I mean it. I can’t do it,’ she mumbled.
‘You can. I know you can. I know we still have something. I feel it every time I’m near you,’
‘No’ she protested, her voice barely a whisper.
With shaking arms he pulled her towards him, wrapping them around her slender frame.
Eyes that swim like an emerald sea
What is it you’re doing to me?
Guy’s body spun into overdrive. His heartbeat raged through his body, his breath quickened as desire strained through him.
He drew her closer still, desperate to hold her tight. She did not resist his movements but her body remained stiff.
Dizziness flooded through him as he moved his lips to hers, unable to breathe through the longing that had overtaken him. But just as he moved to kiss her, she pulled away.
‘What was that?’ Jules asked, stumbling back to the entrance of the hole and out of his reach.
‘What?’ He felt his whole being ache with disappointment and confusion. He had been millimetres away from kissing her.
The mix of desperation and desire seemed to fuel him with energy and exhaust him all within the same breath.
He felt sick.
‘That.’
‘I don’t hear anything. Jules?’
‘MAX,’ she yelled, pausing to hear a response. ‘MAAAXXX’
Then he heard it. A dog barking in the distance. Someone had found them; they would be rescued. Fuck. He had been so close.
Seconds later, a brown nose and a dripping pink tongue came into view from the ledge above, followed by a burst of piercing barks.
‘Oh Max thank goodness. Where’s Rich? Go get Rich,’ she commanded, waving an arm up in the air.
Max continued to stare down towards them, laying his body onto the ground and ignoring her instruction.
‘RICH,’ Jules’ voice yelled out again.
The man’s name echoed through the hole and sliced into Guy’s chest.
He’d almost got through to her, almost kissed her. But as he looked to where she stood, he could see the wall between them had returned. He’d lost her again.
‘Jules?’
She turned her head towards him, her skin glowing in the sunlight.
‘I love you. I always have and I always will,’ he cried out as desperation engulfed him.
The whites of Jules’ eyes widened as her gaze bore into his. He could see her mind processing his words. He did not dare breathe as he waited for a response.
‘Hello?’ a man’s voice called into the hole, cutting through the emotions Guy had laid out.
‘Oh Rich thank goodness you’re here.’
‘Jules what the hell are you doing down there?’
‘We fell.’
‘We?’
‘Err yes, Guy’s here,’ she faltered. ‘He followed me up here.’
For a moment nobody spoke, then Rich called back into the hole: ‘Right hang on.’
Muffled voices travelled down from above, followed by a woman’s shriek.
‘Right.’ The man laid his body on the ground above them, a scruffy blonde head peering over the edge before two muscular arms dropped into the hole. ‘Jules. You first. I’m going to try to pull you up, but if the ground starts to shift then we’ll have to go and get some rope and a few more bodies up here.’
Guy moved into the light.
‘Here, I’ll give you a bunk.’ He turned to face Jules again, avoiding her gaze as he bent forward into the same position as before.
Once more, Jules placed a foot onto the step of his hands, hesitating for a moment before balancing on his shoulders and jumping up.
This time Jules did not stop. Rich’s hands wrapped around her wrists hoisting her out from his reach.
In the
few minutes that followed, Guy heard the muffled exchanges of Rich, Jules and another woman. Would they leave him there? He wondered, casting his gaze around the gloom.
‘Hello?’ he eventually called out.
‘Sorry Guy.’ The blonde head popped back over the ledge, the nose of a dog reappearing as Rich knelt down next to the hole. ‘Do you think you’ll be able to grab my hands?’
‘I think so,’ Guy replied, trying to rise above the humiliation of being rescued by another man and failing.
Forcing the muscles in his legs back to work Guy jumped up, his hands connecting with Rich’s as he felt the strength of his rescuer pull him from the hole.
Twenty-four
Guy fell to the damp ground, his eyes scrunching in the sunlight.
Before he had a chance to breathe in the fresh air, two dogs pounced onto him. One he recognised from the ledge as Max; the other a rotund yellow retriever who had already covered Guy in hair. Their pink wet tongues like a mouldy jay cloth being flapped in his face.
‘Hello dogs,’ he said, sitting up and patting the excited animals.
‘Oh my God, I am so sorry.’ A blonde woman with a mass of curly hair leapt forward, shooing the dogs away from him.
‘Hey, no problem,’ he replied, clambering to his feet and surveying the landscape.
The sun still seemed high in the sky, as if time had stood still during their adventure. He guessed they hadn’t been stuck for as long as he’d thought. Most definitely not long enough.
‘I’m Sally,’ the woman said.
‘Guy.’ He smiled back.
‘Oh I know who you are. I’m a huge fan. I’ve had pictures of you up in my gardening shed for years. And I love the music too,’ she replied, her voice high and squeaky.
‘Thanks,’ he responded, barely listening as he watched Rich tower over Jules, his head close to hers.
‘I know. How sad am I to slobber all over you like Nelson here.’ She threw a hand out towards the golden retriever panting on the grass beside them. ‘But I am without a doubt your biggest fan.
‘If it wasn’t for Bill and the kids I’d be stripping naked right now. I seriously think I might be a little bit in love with you,’ Sally finished, her pretty face crimson despite the grin.
‘Well Sally, Bill’s a lucky man,’ Guy replied with a smile. ‘And lucky for us you were up here when you were, otherwise who knows how long we’d have been down there.’
‘We would have found you eventually. This whole area is filled with nooks and crannies for visitors to get lost in, so we generally keep an eye out for people who go missing; especially celebrities. This looks like it used to be the cellar of one of the out houses. This entire place is filled with the remains of the old Cottinghale estate. And lucky for you, you didn’t break anything,’ she added, eyeing his legs in a way that made him feel naked.
‘Anyway, it’s Rich you’ve got to thank really. If I’d have been up here alone I probably would have jumped in with you.’ Sally let out a nervous laugh.
‘Of course, Rich.’ Guy swallowed the pressure building in his chest and turned to face his rescuer. The embarrassment of being rescued was one thing, but it was clear from Rich’s posture that he and Jules knew each other well.
‘Thanks for the rescue mate.’ He held out his hand as Rich twisted around.
‘Don’t mention it,’ Rich replied with a firm shake.
‘If there’s anything I can do by way of thanks?’
‘No need, I’m glad I could help.’
‘Hang on a minute Rich,’ Sally jumped in. ‘Why doesn’t Guy do a few songs in the pub for us tonight? Draw in a bit of a crowd for you.’
‘Err…’ Rich looked between Jules, Sally and Guy. ‘I’m sure Guy is far too busy to bother with our little local.’
He was the landlord, Guy realised, eyeing the large frame of the man with a renewed wave of jealousy as he recalled Mrs Beckwith’s comment.
He swallowed hard before responding: ‘I’d be happy to. How about tonight?’ he responded, casting a glance towards Jules. He had to show her he wasn’t the selfish publicity grabbing celebrity she thought he was.
‘Okay then. Thanks I guess.’ Rich nodded. ‘And talking of pubs, I’d better get back.’
They made a strange foursome as they walked back through the sloping woodland. The two dogs galloping ahead, then Rich with his long stride, closely followed by Jules. Leaving Guy with Sally’s lightening speed conversation as she rattled off details of her life on the farm, with the occasional squeal of delight as she declared her love for him over and over.
Despite Guy’s best efforts to engage Jules in conversation, she ignored him, refusing to look up from the ground let alone speak to him.
Whatever had passed between them in the solitude of the darkness had disappeared. He just hoped he would be able to recapture it soon; the feel of her body close to his had left a hollow emptiness inside him.
Forty minutes later, he laid his aching muscles onto the hard mattress of his single bed and let the weight of his eyelids close.
Somewhere along the way, Jules and Rich had sped ahead, and by the time he’d stepped out from the woodland and said goodbye to Sally they were nowhere to be seen. Jules’ car had gone from its spot on the road and the guesthouse was empty.
Guy grabbed his mobile. The screen displayed seven missed calls and one text, none from Jules, he noted with disappointment but not surprise.
All of the calls came from Sonja. He didn’t have to listen to his voicemail to know they would be of varying degrees of irate as she tried to reach him. He would call her later but right then he simply didn’t care.
He opened the text message instead and read the message from Debbie: Hey little bro, I have been told to rest and sent to bed – BORED! Where R U? I want gossip! Sam says hi XX
He fired a quick response: Hi Debs, hope u r feelin better. I’m in the sticks & just told Juliet I love her. Good enough 4 U? Give the little man hug from me J x
Guy switched his phone off. The last thing he needed right now was to speak to Sonja. He didn’t care if he was missing out on playing at a sell out crowd at Wembley, or if he had to work the rest of his life in a chip shop just as long as he had Jules with him.
He was a massive fool for ever believing he could be happy any other way.
She had stood in his arms and studied his eyes in the same way she’d done all those years ago.
He had to stay. Forever if that’s what it took.
Twenty-five
The needle flittered between the eleven and twelve position on the speed dial as the car sped through the twisting single lanes of the countryside.
Jules threw the gear stick into fifth, refusing to release her foot from the accelerator for even a second as she flew into one sharp corner after another. If a vehicle appeared from the other direction she knew she would have no time to stop and no space to swerve. The gamble felt good.
The pounding from behind her temples had yet to subside; the throbbing pain intensifying as her mind tried to make sense of the emotional turmoil she’d experienced in just a few short hours. So instead she drove; feeling the tension ease with each mile she covered.
An hour later the ticking of the indicator jolted her from autopilot. She had no recollection of the road she’d covered or the manoeuvres she’d made, but she must have kept her foot firmly on the accelerator because the road sign read only thirty miles to Bath.
Jules noticed the goose bumps on her arms before she realised she’d been cold. She’d left the guesthouse in such a hurry that she hadn’t changed out of her running kit; dumping her clothes on the passenger seat and almost knocking down Rich and Max with her car in her haste to escape Guy.
All of a sudden it felt as if her childhood home was beckoning her. As if nowhere else on earth could make her feel safe and warm but the familiar furnishings she’d grown up around.
She had no idea if her parents would be in, but the spare key would be under the third flow
er pot to the right of the front door, just as it had been her whole life.
The newspaper’s accusation about her relationship with her parents had upset Jules more than the tabloids claims about her past flings. She didn’t care about the old relationships, but she did care about her parents. She needed to see them, Jules decided, realising for the first time that she might not be the only person affected by The Daily’s attack.
As Jules continued her journey, the early afternoon sunshine illuminated the landscape opening up in front of her. She could see the iconic Georgian town houses, stacked one on top of the other as the city spread itself up the hillside. In its centre, the four turrets of the Abbey’s tower loomed above everything else, as if it was watching over its residents.
Despite the familiarity of the city she’d grown-up in, Jules couldn’t stop her mind returning to Guy. The tension and nausea returning with it. From the quiet interior of the car, the electricity pulling her towards him now seemed even more powerful, as if she’d been caught in an unstoppable force.
Out of nowhere a bright light flashed in front of her eyes.
‘Damn,’ she cursed to herself. As if she didn’t hate Guy enough, she could now blame him for a speeding ticket on top of everything else.
Jules eased her foot from the accelerator and slowed the car to a crawl. No matter how fast she drove, she could not escape the truth: in those out of control moments in the cold abandoned cellar, as her body had found its way into Guy’s arms, she had wanted him so badly that it had hurt.
Seeing Guy had unlocked a part of her that she’d buried long ago. The dreamer unable to speak up for herself, the weak girl who had let Guy crush her so easily. It was that part of her that had reacted to Guy, not the real her.
Jules focused her thoughts away from the feelings she’d experience in the darkness. The past few weeks had dented her confidence but she was still strong. She would not let Guy trick her into being part of his music launch.
He’d lied and deceived her before, and he was doing it again now.
She would wait at the guesthouse for him to finish playing his set at The Nag and then she would make it crystal clear to him that he had to leave. She would find a way to make him listen, she told herself, ignoring the heavy weight tugging on her shoulders and the words he’d spoken still circling in her head.
The Reluctant Celebrity Page 15
