‘It’s not real.’
‘Yes it is. More real than anything else in the world to me.’
His response startled her. Had she spoken out loud?
All of a sudden she spun towards him. He was closer than she realised and still naked from the waist up.
Her heart pounded so hard she half expected it to explode.
She needed to gain control.
‘And what would your publicist think about you saying that?’ she demanded.
To her surprise Guy’s deep laugh filled the room. ‘Right - two things: firstly it’s good to see your jealous streak is still alive and well-’
‘I’m not-’
‘Secondly,’ he continued, ignoring her protest. ‘You of all people should know not to believe what you read in the papers. I’m not dating Sonja, far from it. I won’t lie to you, we kissed yesterday. Well actually she kissed me. But all it did was reinforce how I feel about you. No one else comes close.’
He took a breath before continuing: ‘Jules, you may not have noticed, but I have a single at number one and an album release in a fortnight. I should be spending every second I can doing interviews and performances, but I’m not. I’m here with you and I’m going to stay here for as long as it takes.’
‘For as long as what takes?’
‘For as long as it takes for you to believe me when I say that I love you more than anything in the world. Until you stop pretending you don’t feel it too.’
His fingers touched her neck as he tilted her face towards him, his eyes penetrating hers. ‘I know I made the biggest mistake of my life, and I know that I really don’t deserve it, but please Jules I’m begging you to forgive me. Please stop fighting it for one minute and see what happens.’
‘I…I…’ She struggled to find an answer. ‘I’m not sure.’
Despite her weak protest, Jules continued to stare into his eyes. She didn’t know what to think.
‘When I’m with you,’ Guy continued, his voice shaking. ‘Even when we are arguing in a dark hole, I feel complete. When we’re not together, all I feel is emptiness, like someone’s turned the lights out.’
Jules stopped breathing. He felt it too.
‘But you left. You ruined it,’ she cried out suddenly.
‘I know.’ Guy’s shoulders slumped. ‘It’s the biggest mistake of my life. I would give anything to go back and undo it. Anything.’
‘But why did you?’
‘I can’t tell you how many times I’ve asked myself the same question.’
‘And?’ For the first time, Jules felt none of the anger which had haunted her for so long. She just needed to know.
Guy moved his arms toward her, taking her hands in his. She didn’t stop him.
‘It’s hard to explain, and even now I’m not sure I fully understand why I did it. But it just seemed like the minute my exams had finished everything changed. Things went from being fun to suddenly needing a life plan. And I didn’t have one.
‘I couldn’t keep playing in total dives for no money just on the hope of being discovered, but I couldn’t do anything else either. I barely scraped a pass remember. When modelling came up it gave me a way out. I could be an instant success without needing to lift a finger.’
‘But what about us Guy, it doesn’t explain why you did what you did, leaving in the park and-’
‘Because you knew the truth,’ he cut in. ‘You knew me better than anyone else, better than I knew myself probably. You saw through it all instantly, I knew you would. I was selling myself out. I wasn’t a success; I was just a skinny kid.
‘I was giving up on the thing I loved doing because it seemed so much easier to do that than to try and fail. I thought it was the singing I was giving up, but it was you. I didn’t want to fail you, but I couldn’t find a way to be all the things you saw in me.
‘It doesn’t excuse what I did, I know that. And no amount of apologies or explanations can change that. But I was young and stupid, I thought I knew everything, and I’m so so sorry.’
‘It’s too late for sorry.’
‘Tell me what to say then. Tell me what I can do to, because whatever it is, I’ll do it.’
Without thinking, Jules leant forward, pressing her lips to his.
It suddenly didn’t matter what he said, nothing could change the past, but she was tired of fighting it. Every single atom of her being had longed for him from the first instant she’d seen him in her kitchen last week.
For just one second, she didn’t want to fight anymore.
Twenty-eight
Guy stood frozen, unable to move as a surge of electricity travelled through him; draining the blood from his head and weakening his knees.
Then, like a crashing wave he regained control and suddenly they were kissing. Their movements increasing in speed as familiarity and desire hit him.
He reached his shaking hands towards her, brushing the smooth skin of her neck before his fingers travelled up to the silk tendrils of her hair and down to her waist.
He wanted every inch of her. The desire so much more powerful than he remembered. Then she pressed her body against the erection straining from his jeans and every thought in his head disappeared.
Moments later, Guy felt a space grow between them as Jules pulled her lips away causing a desperate longing to rocket through him as he looked into her emerald eyes.
‘Jules,’ he whispered. ‘We don’t have to-’
‘Don’t say anything,’ she cut in, tugging at the waistband of his jeans and pulling him towards the bed.
Time stood still. His mind unable to imagine a world outside of the cramped bed as their elbows knocked painfully against the wall in the struggle to remove each other’s clothes. He didn’t care. The last thing he wanted at that particular moment was space.
Her skin felt even smoother than he remembered as his hands roamed the contours of her body. He never thought it could be possible for someone to become so much sexier, but Jules’ sleek lines overwhelmed him.
With their naked bodies pushing against each other, Guy dragged his lips from hers, his kisses travelling down to the soft curve of her breasts and brushing the rigid points of her nipples.
Her gasp stretched into the silent room, causing another surge of longing to catapult through him. He wanted her so much and yet he could not let the time between them end.
Guy moved further down her body, his lips grazing the slender shape of her stomach. With a gentle push from his hands he moved her legs apart and continued kissing; his tongue flicking harder against her, his movements guided by her cries. Pulling away only when he’d felt the orgasm shudder through her.
Jules sat up tugging him back towards her, a smile stretched across her face.
‘You are so beautiful,’ he said, running a hand along the loose waves of her hair.
‘You’re not so bad yourself.’
Her hand reached for his erection causing a current of dizziness to sweep across his mind as her cool grip tightened around him.
‘Come here,’ she commanded in a whisper as her body dropped back to the bed.
He struggled to think as her the speed of her hand increased. Pulling away before it was too late; Guy reached for the wallet in his jeans bundled at the bottom of the bed.
Her eyes shone out at him as she watched him open the condom wrapper.
Gently, he laid over her, brushing her neck with kisses as his hands lost themselves over her body.
Only when he could not wait another second did he push into her; the feeling so mesmerising that he felt the instant danger of climax build inside him. Not yet, he begged, as every movement caused another gasp from Jules and an ecstasy he never thought possible.
The room closed in and their breathing quickened. As Jules pushed herself harder against him he stopped fighting it, thrusting again and again until the orgasm overtook him.
The same electricity he’d felt earlier by her touch now magnified by a thousand as the moment consumed h
im.
With their damp limbs tangled in the bed spread, Guy’s fingers stroked the ends of Jules’ long brown hair, which had loosened from its grips and spread in waves across the pillow.
‘That was…’ he began, unable to locate the words to express the emotions still pulsing through him.
‘Yes it was,’ she smiled.
‘Better than running that’s for sure.’
Jules’ laugh rang out into the room and she nuzzled further against his chest.
‘Why are there none of the weird little brass thingies in these rooms?’ he asked.
‘People kept stealing them,’ Jules replied as her fingers stroked the soft hair on his chest.
‘Seriously?’ he smirked.
‘Yep.’
‘I like it here,’ Guy said. ‘Cottinghale I mean.’
‘Me too.’
‘Are you sleepy?’
‘No.’
‘Me neither,’ he added as his hands wandered back across her naked body.
‘Guy, you can’t be serious?’ Jules laughed.
‘Can’t I?’ he replied, turning her head to his and planting light kisses all the way to her mouth.
Only after they lay satisfied in each other’s arms again did they really talk. It seemed to Guy as if they’d been separated for five weeks rather than five years, as if the time apart was insignificant.
A feeling of total completeness enveloped over him, mingling with exhaustion until finally they slept.
Twenty-nine
The first time Jules felt herself pulled from the depths of sleep she had been dreaming of paper butterflies flapping in the breeze. The second time it was the slim beams of daylight creeping through the thin curtains that tried to drag her from her slumbers.
Eventually she peeled open her eyes, allowing the feelings of contentment and excitement to drench through her first waking moments.
She could not remember the last time she’d slept so deeply and awoken so refreshed, she thought as she stared at the clock on her mobile, surprised to find it was already a few minutes to ten. Jules snuggled against the creased space on the bed, still dented with the imprint of Guy’s body. She took a long breath in, absorbing his smell. It was just as she remembered.
She let her eyelids close again. She could do nothing to stop her mouth stretching into a wide smile as she recognised the sound of plates clattering from the kitchen. Breakfast in bed had always been Guy’s speciality, she thought.
Jules drifted into an easy doze and waited for him to return. Her mind dancing through the memories from their night together.
When she looked at the clock on her mobile for the second time the first trickle of fear broke inside her. Another hour had gone by and Guy had not returned.
He must have been held up talking to Mrs Beckwith, or gone for a walk and stopped to talk to one of the residents; she reassured herself as she climbed out from the bed and threw on last night’s clothes.
Raking a brush quickly through her hair, Jules bounced down the stairs to find him.
‘Good morning dear. Did you sleep well?’ Mrs Beckwith greeted her from the dining room table as Jules entered.
‘Yes thank you Mrs Beckwith. Sorry I missed breakfast this morning,’ she replied, unable to stop herself from smiling.
‘Don’t you worry dear. I know the effect this country air can have. I can fix you something now if you’re hungry?’ The old landlady asked, already pushing her china coffee cup aside and moving slowly to her feet.
‘No, don’t get up, I’m fine thank you.’
Jules felt a ferocious hunger echo in her stomach, but she didn’t want to eat. Guy would be back soon. He had probably driven halfway to France to find fresh croissants, she thought.
‘I don’t suppose you’ve seen Guy this morning have you?’
‘Well yes dear,’ Mrs Beckwith nodded. ‘Of course, I didn’t know who he was yesterday otherwise I would never have let him stay after all that trouble he’s caused you. But you’ve no need to worry - he left this morning, and by the expression on his face, he won’t be back in a hurry.’
‘He’s gone?’ Another drop of panic rippled through her.
‘Yes, but I thought you’d be pleased.’
‘Did he say where he was going?’
‘No he didn’t and I didn’t ask. He just paid up and left. Are you alright dear? You look terribly pale all of a sudden.’
‘I’m fine thanks,’ Jules mumbled as she struggled to comprehend what could have changed in the few short hours after they’d fallen asleep.
‘Well have a lovely day dear,’ Mrs Beckwith called after her.
‘You too Mrs Beckwith,’ Jules managed to say as she stumbled into the hallway.
‘Oh I almost forgot - would you like dinner tonight? Lamb hotpot?’
Jules gave a fleeting nod but could say nothing more. A haze of confusion swallowed her mind.
After everything that had happened, Guy would not just leave, would he? Not again, Jules reassured herself, desperate to squash the doubt and fear winding its way through her.
She needed air. She needed to find Guy.
Grabbing her coat and Boots, Jules stepped outside, stuffing her hands into the warmth of her pockets as a cold breeze wound its way past her.
After one day of sunshine the contrasting chalk clouds made the sky above seem dull and lifeless. The only evidence of the previous day’s mild weather was a scattering of daffodil buds that had shot from the earth along the side of the road; their weak stems swaying in the cold February breeze as Jules passed.
With her thoughts elsewhere Jules found herself following the same routine as the previous day, walking along the winding country lane towards Stan’s shop.
Guy had been right about her. Over the years she had buried herself under so much hurt that she’d lost sight of who she was. Somehow she had convinced herself that she wanted to be alone. The solitary work redeveloping properties, the quiet nights she’d spent alone, and the occasional failed relationship. No friends, no one to share her life with.
It had hardly been fun. It had hardly been living.
Not anymore, Jules said to herself, picking up her pace and inhaling a deep breath of fresh morning air.
She needed to start trusting again. Starting with the people she’d met in Cottinghale - Terri, Rich, and even Stan. They had accepted her into their community and how ever much she hated to admit it, she would have been lost without them.
As for Guy, Jules smiled to herself, he would not leave her again. She was sure of that. It must have been an emergency or an important meeting that had made him leave so early. There were a thousand perfectly rational explanations, she just had to wait for him to come back and explain.
A few minutes later Jules stepped into the farm shop, her doubts cast aside and her good mood restored.
‘Good morning Stan, how are you today?’ she called out.
Stan looked up, turning over the paper in front of him and nodding in response.
‘Did you enjoy Guy’s performance last night?’
‘Um.’ He shrugged.
‘Fantastic weather we had yesterday. Do you think it will be like that again soon?’
‘Not likely.’
‘No you’re probably right,’ she agreed, picking up a small carton of fresh orange and a Curly Whirly chocolate bar.
‘Just these please Stan.’ Jules placed her items on the counter and smiled at the bald shop owner.
‘I’ve got your paper here,’ he replied bending down to reach for a stack under the counter.
‘I don’t need it this morning thank you.’
As if he had not heard her, Stan folded the paper in two and pushed it towards her.
‘No, it’s fine actually thanks. I don’t want to look at anything they’ve got to say anymore,’ Jules said again.
‘But I’ve already saved it for you now so you might as well take it. No point wasting it is there?’
‘Err no I guess not.’ Jules
handed over the money and left. Feeling bewildered by Stan’s unusually cryptic behaviour.
It did not take long before she understood.
Jules let herself back into her room at the guesthouse, throwing the paper onto the crumpled bed covers and shrugging off her coat. Only then did she see the headline written in big fat letters across the front page and the photograph which accompanied it.
THE DAILY
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 25TH
GUY RAUNCHSON
Guy Rawson may have thrown his towel in for modelling but the 27-year old hasn’t lost his trademark sexy bod or his touch with the ladies based on the smiles of these lucky gals.
Last week’s hot tub romp, pictured above, is just one of Guy’s celebration nights after hitting the top spot with his debut single, ‘Regret’.
The star, also rumoured to be dating celeb publicist Sonja Morton, said: “Of course I’m celebrating, who wouldn’t be? This is a great time for me.”
She threw herself towards the bathroom, barely making it in time to lift the pink woollen seat cover and watch the Curly Whirly and orange juice make an untimely return to the world.
‘Shit,’ Jules said aloud as the retching subsided.
A sticky fever had cloaked her skin, mingled with a dizziness that left her feeling detached and floaty.
Only when she knelt by the sink and splashed the cold water against her face did the anger consume her.
He had left his toothbrush. The blue and white neck leant intimately against hers. Snatching it from the holder she threw it in the bin as a white heat raged through her.
He had done it to her again.
It had all been one big game. A pathetic ego boosting mission. The minute Guy had won his prize he had left.
Her entire face flamed red as she recalled his lies. How easily she had believed them. Every word he had whispered to her late into the night; every kiss – it had meant nothing to him. The only person Guy was capable of loving was himself.
What a fool she had been, Jules thought as angry hot tears pricked at her eyelids. She clamped her teeth together until she heard the crunch of enamel.
The Reluctant Celebrity Page 17
