She couldn’t give in if she wanted any chance of going back to her normal life. She couldn’t stay here with Roric, tempted by the memories of his blood in her mouth. Alec could show her where to get blood so she wouldn’t have to depend on Roric. With her attacker in custody, she was safe to go home. She could even go back to work.
She barked out a cold laugh in the silent room. Yesterday, she was the one who hated having vampires visiting her bar. Besides being terrified of them, she thought they were bad for business. Now she was a vampire.
What would her boss and coworkers think? Would they even know if she didn’t tell them? Would her job be at risk if they knew? Maybe she could try to keep it a secret for now.
She’d texted Gray last night after Roric brought her back here and told him not to come over, but she hadn’t said why. He would probably figure it out soon enough, but hopefully he’d be willing to keep it quiet.
Her work clothes lay in a rumpled ball on the bed. She might not get a chance to go home before she was due at work tonight, so maybe she should wash them. Roric probably wouldn’t mind if she used his laundry room, but she didn’t feel comfortable exploring the house without him, and she certainly didn’t want to see what Ivy and Alec were doing. At the rate they were going, they were probably having sex by now.
She grabbed her work clothes and carried them into the ensuite bathroom instead then filled the large sink with hot water and a few squirts of the liquid hand soap in a pump bottle on the counter. She plunged her clothes into the sink and kneaded them with her hands, letting out her frustrations on the fabric.
Why had this happened to her, of all people? What was it about her that made her a magnet for vampires? Why did they have to ruin her whole life? And how could she live with herself now that she was one?
She squeezed and scrubbed manically at her clothes, trying to wash away the last 12 hours of her life. Hell, the last four years, even. But just like the streak of red paint on her shirt, her past was indelibly stained by vampires. She’d never be able to wash herself clean of their presence.
Feeling exhausted, she gave up trying to get the paint out and emptied the sink. She rinsed the clothes in fresh water and squeezed the excess out of them then hung them up over the shower rod to dry. She felt the same way, like she’d been rung out and hung up wet.
She had to get some sleep if she was going to work later, so even though she hated the idea of sleeping in Roric’s bed, she pulled off her jeans and Piper’s too-tight bra that was digging into her chest and crawled under the sheets. Her mouth watered and her throat burned as she buried her face in Roric’s pillow. Despite the burn, she was asleep in minutes.
When she woke up, fire raged in her mouth and nose and burned in her belly, and her face was buried in his chest, instead. Caroline jolted and scrambled away from him, tumbling out of the bed.
“Hey, are you okay?” Roric sat up, revealing his bare chest bulging with muscles. The only light in the room came from the cracked-open bathroom door, and the shadows it cast emphasized the ridges running up and down his abdomen.
Why did he have to be so gorgeous? It would be a lot easier to resist him if he were ugly or cruel or even rude. But no, he was nicer than most humans, and nicer-looking, too.
For a moment, her body reminded her that humans were no longer part of her dating pool, and if she ever wanted to find a partner, he would have to be a vampire. Why not Roric? He seemed taken with her.
But no, she didn’t have time to date, and she couldn’t get past her aversion to vampires, even if she was one. If she dated him, he’d want them to drink from each other, and she wasn’t willing to go there. If she didn’t give in to her animalistic urges, maybe she could pretend she was still human.
She glanced at the clock and gasped at how late it was. She’d slept the whole day away. Of course, she might as well get used to the new schedule. Vampires were, by necessity, nocturnal.
“I have to be at work in an hour. Can you take me?”
“Caroline, you can’t go to work. You’re too new to vampirism. You won’t be able to resist the temptation of being around humans.” Roric stood up, wearing nothing but boxers. Her eyes dropped below his waist, and his dropped to hers. Crap, she forgot she was wearing nothing but a tee shirt and panties. Caroline gulped and forced her eyes back up to his face, hoping he’d take the hint and do the same.
“I’ll be fine. I have no desire to suck the blood from a human.” No sense mentioning that her feelings about drinking from vampires were a little more complicated.
Roric got up and moved towards her, bringing his tantalizing scent with him, and Caroline stiffened. She was starving, and his presence was making it hard for her to remember why she didn’t want to drink from him.
“No one is that strong. You think you won’t be tempted, but as soon as you smell one, your hunger is going to take over.”
“I’ll drink a blood bag before I go. Believe me, it’s not a temptation.” She backed up until her body hit the bathroom door, then she hurried in to see if her clothes were dry.
He followed her in, making the large space seem a whole lot smaller. “Caroline, you have no clue what it’s like when bloodlust takes over. You can’t just go back to your regular life like nothing happened.”
She yanked the clothes off the shower rod. Thankfully, they were dry. “Yes, I can, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do. I’m not going to give up my life. You don’t have to worry about me, Roric. I’m not your problem.”
He glared down at her, the veins bulging in his forehead. “Yes, you are. I changed you; I’m responsible for you.”
“You just want to keep me under your thumb to make sure I don’t tell on you. Well, that’s the risk you took when you changed me. Why’d you do it? You knew it was wrong! You stole my life from me. You should’ve let me die.” She shoved against his massive chest, pushing him towards the door.
He stumbled backwards out of the bathroom, his face twisted with anguish. He obviously didn’t have an answer for that, either. She slammed the door in his face and yanked her clothes on. They were stiff and a little wrinkly, but at least they weren’t covered in dirt and blood. Her nylons were a loss; she’d thrown them away at Piper’s. She should probably shave her legs if she was going bare-legged, but it didn’t really matter since she stayed behind the bar most of the time.
She rifled through his drawers, looking for a hairbrush, and choked out a giggle at all the hair products. It seemed surreal to imagine a bloodthirsty vampire picking out hair gel at Walmart. She brushed her hair then helped herself to an unopened toothbrush. She wished she had some makeup. The nicer she looked the better tips she got. But she looked okay without it.
When she came out, she was feeling a little calmer but just as determined. “Are you going to take me, or should I call an Uber?”
“You can’t take an Uber, the sun’s still up. You’ll burn up in a second.”
“So, I’ll call the vampire version of Uber. I’m sure you guys have one. And it’s almost sunset.” She’d heard that vampires could drive in the day as long as their windows were heavily tinted. Getting in and out of the car was a little trickier, but if they wore a hat that kept their faces shaded and covered their body in clothing, they could handle a few moments of exposure to the fading rays.
“Besides, I thought that vampires who used to be humans have more tolerance to sunlight.”
Roric rolled his eyes and clenched his fists. “Okay, fine. I’ll take you to work, but I’m sticking around because I’m sure you’ll be desperate to leave after five minutes.”
She didn’t like the idea of him hanging out at the bar — she was more likely to be tempt by him than by a human — but she wasn’t about to admit that.
“Suit yourself. It’s a public bar. Afterwards, I want you to take me to the clinic so I can get some blood bags to take home.”
She had no idea why, but for some reason that got him unreasonably angry. His eyes bulged, his nos
trils flared, and he crossed his thick arms over his chest. “You’re not going to the clinic, and you’re sure as hell not going home. I’ve got plenty of blood bags here.”
“Yes, I am. You caught the vampire who attacked me. There’s no reason I can’t go home.” She walked out the door, and he stomped after her.
“Yes, there is! You’re a newly-turned vamp! You need someone to mentor you and make sure you don’t do something stupid!”
She whirled around and glared at him, which was a mistake because she was too close and his scent was too strong. “What? Like turn a human?”
The sound of footfalls distracted them, and they both turned to see Taven heading towards them, looking upset. “Have you seen Ivy? She’s gone.”
Chapter 18
Roric yanked his attention away from Caroline to look at his brother, scowling at the interruption. “Who’s Ivy?”
Taven rolled his eyes and shoved his hands in the pockets of his low-slung jeans. His body was twitchy with anxiety. “The girl I brought home last night. Her car’s still here, but I’ve looked all over, and I can’t find her.”
“She probably went with Alec.”
He and Taven both whipped their heads towards Caroline.
Taven sneered. “Alec Pennington? Why would she be with him?” Roric had the same question.
“She was really hungry. I tried to give her a blood bag, but she wouldn’t drink it. She was going to go out and find someone to drink from. Obviously, I didn’t want to let her do that, so I called Alec for help.”
Roric’s stomach tightened and so did his fists. “Why the hell did you call Alec instead of me?”
As soon as the words were out, he knew he sounded crazy jealous, but he couldn’t help it.
Caroline rolled her eyes at him like she was taking lessons from Taven. “I don’t know your phone number. And besides, I knew you were busy. And Alec works at the blood clinic, so I thought maybe he could take her there.”
Caroline’s reasons were logical, but Roric still couldn’t help feeling ticked off that her first instinct was to go to someone else for help. He hated that she thought he was a monster and didn’t trust him. He had to fix that somehow. She couldn’t do this on her own, and she shouldn’t have to. And he wanted her to rely on him. Hell, he wanted her. Period.
“Did he?” Taven eyes bulged and he swallowed loudly.
Roric interrupted before she could answer that as a bigger question popped into his head. “Why would she need Alec to take her to the clinic? Her car was here.”
“She didn’t know where it was,” Caroline said.
Suddenly, the truth slammed into him. Ivy was newly-turned, most likely by his brother. Rage swept through him like a forest fire, and he grabbed Taven by his shirt, bunching the cotton in his fist. “You turned her?”
But his own guilt was a cold spray from a firehose. He’d done the exact same thing. What a pair they were. Roric felt slightly better that he wasn’t the only one who’d lost it last night, but all this did was make an even bigger mess for them to sweep under the rug.
“She wanted it! And you’ve got no room to talk.” Taven shoved Roric away and glared towards Caroline.
Roric rubbed a hand over his face and started pacing back and forth in the small space between them. “I know, I know. God, what a shit storm.”
Taven turned his attention back to Caroline. “Did Ivy tell Alec I turned her?”
Caroline flicked her eyes back and forth between them. “No, she said it was a rogue attack. He seemed suspicious, though. He didn’t know why you didn’t take her to the Agency to interrogate her, but I told him you two were busy dealing with the vampire who attacked me. He let it drop after that.”
Roric sighed. “Thank God for small miracles. So what happened? Did Alec take Ivy to the clinic?”
“No, he said it was closed, so she asked him to feed her, instead.” Caroline cringed.
Taven’s roar echoed down the hallway and probably out into the street. “What? That bastard sure as hell better have said no!”
Caroline flinched under Taven’s murderous gaze. “He said yes. I left the room when she started drinking from him.”
Taven howled and slammed a fist into the doorframe, rattling the wall and freaking out Caroline. She moved a little closer to Roric, and he automatically put his arm around her. She felt so right there. Her curves pressed up against him in all the right places, and she smelled like heaven.
“He probably took her home to keep an eye on her since you didn’t come home last night.” Roric had come home shortly after dawn, but he’d left Taven to work the new case.
“She’s mine! I swear to God I’ll kill that pompous asshole.” Taven started stomping up and down the hallway, swearing and slamming his fists into anything that wouldn’t crumble under the pressure. Caroline quivered under Roric’s arm.
Roric couldn’t blame his brother. He’d feel the same way if someone else fed Caroline. He got furious just thinking about her sucking on someone else. If she took a vein, it sure as hell better be his.
If his brother turned Ivy, he probably felt the same way, and that was just as surprising. His brother hadn’t been willing to commit to anyone since Talia dumped him years ago. He’d jumped from one girl to another, never letting himself get close to any of them. Had he finally found someone he cared enough about to have a real relationship?
Roric didn’t know anything about Ivy, but if she was willing to drink from Alec, she obviously wasn’t as serious about Taven as he was about her. No wonder Taven was going insane. Of course, if she was newly-turned, she might not have been able to control herself, even if she was serious about Taven. And maybe she didn’t know that was like cheating to vampires.
But if she’d spent the whole day feeding off Alec, Taven might be a distant memory. The connection that developed between vamps who fed off each other was intense. Man, he hated to see that happen to his brother again. Taven was kind of an asshole, but a lot of that was a defense mechanism to keep himself from being hurt.
“Taven, you better go find her in case she’s not with Alec, and if she is, you better find out how much she told him. We might have some serious damage control to do.”
Taven glanced suspiciously towards Caroline, and Roric scowled at him.
“Caroline promised to keep quiet. You don’t have to worry about her.” Roric hoped that was still the case. She seemed more distant this evening than she did yesterday when he brought her home. The way she’d run to him last night when Taven subdued her attacker made him think she might actually be willing to forgive him. Was it seeing Ivy feed on Alec that changed her attitude? He’d fantasized all night about feeding her, but now she acted like she didn’t want to have anything to do with him again.
Caroline stuck her chin up in the air. “I won’t tell anyone for now, but you two are going to hang yourselves if you keep giving yourselves more rope.”
“It won’t happen again, you can count on that. Right, Taven?” He glared at his brother.
Taven stomped off, and Roric sighed. “Come on, if you’re going to work, you need to drink a blood bag.”
He wanted to suggest she feed off him instead, but he was pretty sure she wasn’t interested in that, and he probably shouldn’t encourage it. She obviously wanted nothing to do with him, and if she drank from him, he knew he’d lose his heart to her.
He led her to the kitchen and pulled a couple blood bags out of the fridge. The way she tore into one, she was obviously starving. He should probably offer to take her to the clinic. He’d heard that human blood from the vein was a lot more satisfying than cold, bagged, vamp blood. Maybe that would make it easier for her to resist temptation. But based on Roric’s very limited experience, one taste of human blood made him ravenous for more. No, he didn’t want to risk that, especially if she insisted on going to work.
If she’d gone through the process to be turned voluntarily and Roric was her mentor, he would’ve put his foot down and insi
sted she stay home for at least a week until her cravings settled down some. But since his entire life would be destroyed if she decided to turn him in, he had to do things her way.
He also couldn’t stand the thought of her taking someone else’s vein, even if it was a random clinic volunteer she’d probably never see again. No, better to keep her on blood bags. He downed a couple himself then stuck a few more in a small, insulated bag.
“Roric, where do you get the blood bags?”
“At the blood clinic. You can buy them, but most vamps use blood credits. When you give blood, you earn credits.” Her question seemed simple enough; it didn’t dawn on him till after he answered that her motivation for asking was anything but curiosity. She wanted to know so she wouldn’t have to rely on him to get it.
He sighed and put his hands on her shoulders. “Listen, Caroline. I can tell you’re a strong, independent woman.” More like stubborn and hard-headed, but he was trying to stay on her good side. He liked that about her, though. She wasn’t one of those pathetic women who let a man walk all over them.
“But you need to understand that willpower alone isn’t going to be enough to help you resist your cravings. There’s a lot you don’t know about being a vampire. If you’d been turned the normal way, you’d have a mentor to guide you. I know you hate me, and I’m so sorry I changed you against your will, but you need to let me help you get through the transition.”
She stared at him for a long moment. A dozen emotions flashed across her face before she finally decided what to say. “I don’t hate you. I know you thought you were saving me, and I can tell you care about me. You’re a lot different than any vampire I ever met before.”
Her words poured over him like honey. He wanted to wrap her in his arms and show her just how much he cared about her, but he didn’t think she was ready for that. He wasn’t sure he was ready for that. Instead, he stepped closer and stroked a hand down her delicate cheek. “If you’ll trust me, I promise I’ll take care of you, Caroline.”
Compelled by the Vampire: Vampire Enforcement Agency Series Book 1 Page 11
