After the meal, Sarah helped scrape the plates. The boys were sent to the barn to do their evening chores, while the girls went out to water the garden. Jack started to follow the boys, but Sarah hurried to his side and tugged on his sleeve. He paused, gazing down at her. “I’d like you to stay while I talk to Gabe and Lara, if you don’t mind.”
He nodded. “I reckon the boys will be all right on their own for a short while.”
“This shouldn’t take long.” When she turned, Lara and Gabe were standing side by side near the counter, Gabe still holding his coffee cup. Lara looked a bit concerned.
Sarah glanced down and realized she was wringing her hands. She stuck one in her pocket and pulled out the newspaper ad then took a deep breath and blew it out quickly, hoping she didn’t lose her nerve. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and praying for a while, and I have come to a decision.” She held up the ragged page. “This article from the newspaper says the government is going to be opening up another section of Indian land—the Kiowa, Comanche, and Apache reservation land left over after the allotment to individual members of those tribes. More than likely, it’s the last section that will be available in the Oklahoma Territory. It will be handled by a lottery instead of a land run.” She drew in a breath as she read the curiosity in Gabe’s eyes and worry in Lara’s. “I’ve decided to go to El Reno to register and see if I can get some land of my own.”
Gabe’s eyebrows shot upward while Lara’s mouth dropped open. He set his cup on the cupboard counter and wrapped an arm around his wife, as if knowing she needed comfort. Sarah hated to hurt the couple who had been so kind to her for so many years and had loved her as a younger sister. She struggled for something to say to soften the blow. “You know how much I love you both”—she cast a glance at Jack—“all of you. But I can’t stay here forever. Your family is growing, and you’ll need my room soon.”
“We have plenty of space. There’s no need for you to be concerned about that.” Lara’s eyes begged her to reconsider.
Sarah walked to the table and held on to the top of a ladder-back chair. “There’s more to it than that. I’m sure you figured I’d be married by now, but …” She shrugged. “I feel it’s time for me to get a place of my own. If I’m fortunate enough to win a homestead, I’ll pick land near one of the new towns being established. I have most of the money my father sent me, which I will use to have a house built and get the things I need initially.”
Lara stepped away from Gabe. “But what will you do until then? A woman can’t live alone on the open prairie.”
“I won’t be alone. All the others who win claims will be nearby.”
“But those will probably all be men. It wouldn’t be safe for a woman alone.” Lara spun around to face her husband. “Can you talk some sense into her?”
He shrugged. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, but Sarah has the right to do what she feels God is calling her to do. Besides, how can you fuss at her when you rode in the land run? The lottery is a much safer option.”
“Gabe! I didn’t have a choice—you know that. But Sarah does. She can’t go alone. That’s just foolhardy.” She turned to Jack. “Can’t you be the voice of reason?”
Jack looked from one of them to another as if taking time to formulate his response. He stroked his chin, pursing his lips. “I guess it’s time to admit that I’ve been thinking of doing the same thing.”
Sarah’s heart jolted at the exact moment Lara gasped.
“You can’t be serious, Jack.” Lara squeezed her forehead “What about Cody?”
“What about him? Things have been difficult on both of us since Cora died. I’m thinking a change would do us good. If we get land, we can settle there and start a ranch of our own. If not, we can stay and help Sarah for as long as she needs us, if that’s all right with her.”
She nodded, unable to hold back her smile. “I would love that—if you’re certain that’s what you want to do.”
“I’ve been prayin’ about it ever since I first heard about the lottery, and I’m startin’ to believe it’s what God wants me to do.”
“What about the church? What will we do for a pastor?” Gabe turned to refill his coffee cup.
“Barry Addams would be a good one to take over. I’ve been meeting with him for two years and have taught him nearly all I know about God’s Word. He’s a good man who loves the Lord. He’d be a responsible leader for the time I’m gone. If I don’t win a homestead, at least we’ll have had a change of scenery for a bit. And if Cody and I don’t return, I believe Barry would be willin’ to consider a permanent position as pastor.”
Lara tugged out a chair and sat down. “I feel like one of my children is leaving home. And I dread seeing you and Cody leave, Jack. We’ve loved having you here with us.”
“We’ve enjoyed it, too, but things change, sis.”
Sarah walked around the table, pulled out one of the chairs, and placed it so that she could face her dear friend, who was like a mother to her. She sat and took Lara’s hands. “Please try to understand. This is something I feel compelled to do. I believe it’s what God wants me to do.”
Lara gazed at her with watery eyes. “You’ve prayed about this?”
“Yes. Ever since I first heard the land might be opened for settlement. El Reno is not that far away. The train already goes there, which is where I need to register.”
“How far away is that?” Lara still didn’t look convinced.
“Just west of Oklahoma City. A short train ride from here.” Sarah smiled, hoping to relieve her friend’s worries. “It’s about the same length of a ride from here to El Reno as it is to where Jo lives in Perry.”
Lara brushed her hand down the side of Sarah’s cheek. “I still remember the quiet, reserved little girl you were when Jo first brought you to us—the girl who craved learning. You’ve grown into a lovely woman, whom I dearly love.” She ducked her head a moment then looked up, her eyes watery. “I always thought you’d stay with us until you married.”
Sarah blinked away the sting in her own eyes. “I thought that, too, but God has changed my mind. You and Gabe have had someone living with you ever since you married. It’s time your family had this house to yourselves.”
Gabe cleared his throat. “You know that doesn’t matter to us. God has blessed us, and we’re happy to share what we have with others. But if God truly has spoken to you, then you should listen. Sometimes He asks us to do hard things—things that don’t make sense at the time.” He stared at his wife, and Sarah wondered if he was remembering their past—how Gabe killed Lara’s first husband in self-defense and then went on to track her down so he could return the money he’d won from her husband in a poker game. But that never actually happened because Lara wouldn’t accept the money. Later, after riding in Oklahoma’s first land rush, they fell in love and married.
It was such a romantic story that she nearly sighed. Did God have a special man out there for her? Luke’s wide grin and sparkling blue eyes invaded her mind. She shook her head to rid it of his image. Jack was a handsome, God-fearing man, but he was far too old for her. And besides, he was like a brother, and he was still grieving his wife whose death had shaken them all. There was a time that she thought she’d never marry, after living in her father’s bordello and seeing how horribly men treated women, but living in Gabe’s house, with his example as well as Jack’s and Luke’s, she’d learned there were good men who loved and cared for women.
“Have you talked to Jo about this?” Lara asked.
“I’ve tried writing to her several times, but I’ve had trouble putting my thoughts to paper. I don’t know why God is asking me to do this, only that He is. How can I explain it so she’ll understand?”
Gabe chuckled. “You’re selling Jo short. She’d probably be the first to encourage you to follow your dreams.”
Sarah smiled. “You’re right. She would. I just hate that this decision will take me farther away from her, since Perry is north of here and the l
ottery land is southwest.”
Jack walked across the room, his boots thudding on the floor. “That’s true, but it’s still not all that far away when you consider the railroad.”
Lara squeezed her hand. “You’re truly going to do this?”
Sarah smiled and nodded. “Yes, I am.”
Jack admired the bright pinks and oranges on the horizon, created by the setting sun as he strode across the yard toward the barn. He’d been thinking and praying about leaving ever since Cora died in childbirth this past January. Both he and Cody had taken her death hard. Cody missed his ma, and he longed for his precious wife.
He’d been looking forward to having another child and raising the baby with Cora, but it wasn’t to be. His time with her had been far shorter than he’d expected. He could still see Cora walking down the church aisle on their wedding day, looking jubilant and beautiful in her pale blue dress. He had almost missed the blessing of a wife because he’d been such a dunderhead and hadn’t recognized that Cora cared for him. She’d been so happy that day, so filled with joy, as he had been. She’d pledged to love him until death parted them. Neither of them imagined death would part them so soon
He leaned against the corral fence and stared at the horizon. He’d hoped they would grow old together, especially since he hadn’t married until he was nearly thirty. But it wasn’t to be. God had given him seven and a half blissful years with Cora and a wonderful son, but they’d lost three babies, including the one that had been born dead during the difficult childbirth that took Cora’s life.
He gritted his teeth, still trying to understand. He loved children. He was a good father and would have been to any more children God blessed him with, so why hadn’t the good Lord seen fit to spare his wife and baby?
“I didn’t spare my own Son so that you could have eternal life.”
Jack clenched the fence railing as the truth hit him. God hadn’t spared His Son, and if He had, all men would still live in darkness. Who was he to question God? He gazed upward toward the darkening sky. “Thank You, Lord. I don’t have all the answers. Don’t know why You thought it was time to take Cora and our baby, but I will try to rest in Your arms. I miss her—and the daughter I never got to know.”
Behind him, Jack heard a snicker. He turned and saw Cody and Drew standing just inside the barn’s entrance. Their eyes widened and the duo ducked their heads when they noticed him looking their way. He pushed away from the corral and moved toward them. The boys shuffled their feet as he approached. “What have they done now, Lord?”
Drew leaned against Cody. “Who was your pa talkin’ to?”
Cody exhaled a loud sigh and took on a mature posture. “He’s talkin’ to God again.”
“Does he do that a lot?”
“Yep.”
“I can hear you guys, you know.”
Drew’s eyes widened. “I didn’t mean nothin’, Uncle Jack.”
He grinned and ruffled the boy’s hair. “I know.” He squatted on his heels to be on their eye level. “Cody knows you can talk to God anytime you need to, but do you?”
Drew shrugged and glanced down, toeing the dirt. “I reckon so. Pa says that, too, but I just never saw you doin’ it outside of church and blessing our meals.”
“Maybe you’ll see fit to talk to God one day, too.”
Drew’s dark brown eyes, the same color as his pa’s, rounded again. “Ma makes me pray every night when I’m in bed. You reckon God knows everything I do, like I’ve heard you say when you preach?” He leaned in closer. “Even the bad stuff?”
Jack tried not to smile at the boy’s whisper. “There’s a verse in the Bible that says, ‘The eyes of the Lord are in every place, beholdin’ the evil and the good.’”
Drew scowled. “What’s beholdin’ mean?”
“It means God’s watchin’ us,” Cody said, a proud look in his eyes.
“That’s right, son. God sees everything you do, so you’d best think twice before disobeying or doing something you shouldn’t.”
Drew gulped and glanced over his shoulder into the barn.
Just what had the two young’uns been up to? “Is there somethin’ you need to tell me?”
Drew ducked his head.
The whites of Cody’s eyes showed for a second before he, too, looked down. “We … uh … locked Michael in the tack room.”
Jack knew this wasn’t a laughing matter, but he still wrestled back a grin. Boys will be boys. “What do you think you should do about that?”
Cody glanced at Drew. “Let him out, I reckon.”
Jack stood. “That sounds like a wise idea. Go on and do that.”
“Yes, sir,” the boys said as they turned in unison and shuffled into the barn and to the door of the tack room. Cody reached for the lock.
“Son, let Drew do it.”
“Yes, Pa.” Cody stepped back.
“Why me?” Drew glanced at Jack.
“Because I suspect this was your idea, was it not?”
Drew pursed his lips then nodded. “How did you know?”
“I just did.” Drew was usually the one to stir up the trouble and Cody followed along.
The boy twisted the lock they had slipped through the loop on the latch then opened the door. Light spilled from the small room, and the familiar odor of saddle soap wafted out the door.
Sixteen-year-old Michael’s blond head popped up from where he sat polishing a saddle by lantern light. He grinned. “Howdy, Uncle Jack.”
“How come you wasn’t hollerin’ and poundin’ on the door?” Drew asked.
Michael grinned. “Because I knew that’s what you wanted me to do. I figured I’d continue on with my chores since I couldn’t go nowhere.”
“Aw, no fair.” Drew kicked the door frame.
“Was it fair for you to lock your brother in the tack room?”
“No, sir.”
“I think it would be fair for you to finish polishin’ that saddle for Michael.”
Drew’s gaze shot to his. “But—”
“Would you rather I tell Pa what you did?” Michael winked at Jack.
“No.”
“Cody, you get in there and help, too. And you boys be careful with the lantern on.” Jack stepped back so the boys could enter the small room.
Michael rose and stretched then stepped around the boys. “All that’s left is the other side of the saddle. This one’s done.”
Jack wrapped his arm around his nephew, who’d be close to his own height in another year or two. “I’m proud that you kept a level head and were a good example to your brother and cousin.”
Michael beamed, his blue-green eyes shining. “Thanks. I guess I should get to feeding the horses before the sun sets all the way.”
Jack nodded and watched him go in the dimming light. He peeked at the younger boys, glad to see they were obeying. He sure would miss all of the young’uns when he and Cody left. He hadn’t considered how hard that might be on his son. Drew and Cody were nearly inseparable. He needed to pray more and make sure he was doing the right thing and not running away again.
The railcar shimmied and the whistle screeched a long wail as the train pulled into the Perry depot. Sarah’s stomach churned with excitement at seeing Jo and her family again. Jo and Baron were so tied to their general store that they rarely got to visit the ranch anymore, especially when Jamie, their oldest son was attending school.
She spotted Jo on the platform with her two youngest children and waved. Four-year-old Emma hopped up and down, waving one hand while holding her mama’s skirt with the other. Jo held Matthew. The toddler stared wide-eyed at the noisy contraption. The train squealed and whooshed as it stopped, and the boy buried his face on Jo’s shoulder.
Sarah smiled, shaking her head. How in the world had fierce-hearted Jo ended up with a timid son? He must take after his father, not that Baron was spineless, but he certainly had a milder temperament than Jo. Sarah rose, eager to see her good friend. If not for Jo, her life would ha
ve been drastically different. She might still be living in a den of sin, and her father might still be running that dreadful bordello instead of eking out a decent living as a cattle rancher.
When it came her time to exit, Sarah trotted down the steps and into Jo’s open arms. She peeked at Matty as she hugged her friend. The boy offered a shy smile before turning his head away.
“Hug me, Aunt Sarah!” Emma tugged on her skirt.
Sarah put down her satchel and picked up the darling blond-haired, blue-eyed girl. She placed a loud smack on Emma’s soft cheek. “I couldn’t forget to hug you, sweetie. Look how much you’ve grown.”
“I’m a big girl now.”
“Yes, you are. And you’re getting heavy.” She gave the girl another squeeze then set her down and smiled at Matty. “And look at that boy. I can’t believe he’s already a year and a half.”
“I know. He’s growing fast.” Jo shifted Matty to her other arm. “You look wonderful. How are things at the ranch?”
“Thank you, and everything is good.”
“I was thrilled to get your telegram about your visit, but I was surprised since you were only here two months ago. Has something happened?” Jo’s vivid blue eyes dimmed with concern.
“There are some things I need to talk to you about, and I wanted to do it in person.”
“Like what?”
Sarah glanced around the busy depot. People still waited to board while those meeting friends and family were collecting their baggage and leaving.
“Forgive me.” Jo squeezed Sarah’s arm. “This isn’t the place to chat. Let’s get your baggage and head home.”
Sarah let out a grateful sigh and picked up her satchel. “This is all I brought.”
Jo quirked one blond eyebrow.
“Mama, can we stop for a treat?” Emma gazed up with a hopeful gleam in her eyes.
“Did you forget that we made gingerbread for Aunt Sarah?”
“Oh yeah.” Emma spun around to face Sarah. “We fixed some ginnerbread.”
Sarah's Surrender Page 2
