by Natavia
“I’m just afraid that he might do the same thing Ashaun did to me!” I said wiping my eyes.
“Ashaun doesn’t love you, that’s why he did what he did! When the fuck will you wake up? Ashaun is all about himself! I mean, he is nice and I’m not bad talking him, but lust and love are two different emotions and a lot of people get it confused. I hate to be a bitch but that Cali-chick he actually loves. I peeped them months back when she came over for dinner. I saw it when he looked at her. He might be trying to hide it because I hear that she’s a whore. But as soon as they walked, in I could see that shit!” Raja said and Tataliscious agreed.
I had gotten the same vibe, too, but I was over that. I didn’t love Ashaun but I did have a soft spot for him. I just couldn’t stand to see someone hurt him. I know how Killa can get and I knew Ashaun couldn’t defend himself. It was like a Pit Bull getting a hold of a Yorkie. Ashaun could hold his own, but truth was, he was not a fighter. I wasn’t there but judging by his face when I saw him, I could just imagine how Killa whipped his ass.
It just wasn’t fair when Killa knew he could beat his ass. But I should’ve stepped back and looked at from his point of view. Killa was a man that protected what was his and I should’ve never questioned him. They were both grown men and Ashaun could handle himself.
“I just need to take time to figure out how to get him back for good this time,” I told them. They didn’t know about Ashaun pulling my hair and honestly it wasn’t their business. I didn’t tell them the real reason Killa was going to leave me because it would’ve just made me look worse.
“Okay, Mrs. Raja, who is your real baby daddy?” I asked.
“Rico is, damn! I told Tee-Tee and Tataliscious I didn’t really know because I don’t want to be bothered with his ass! He is young and immature, plus he has a little hoodrat girlfriend named Dior. I ended up catching feelings for him and I’m mad at myself. I don’t want him to know I’m pregnant by him so I been lying to people so word can get back to his ass he is not the daddy! Do you know this little nigga knocked me up on purpose?” she asked.
“Come again?” Tataliscious asked. I swear this was some juicy shit they had going on. This sounded like Corey and Tee-Tee all over again. Only difference was, Tee-Tee actually wanted to be with Corey, while Raja is trying to fight it.
“I think he knocked me up on purpose! Usually we wear condoms and that one time I slipped up and didn’t, I got pregnant. I kept telling him to pull out and he didn’t! Then after he came he claimed he forgot to pull out,” she explained.
“WOW!” was all me and Tataliscious could say.
“So, am I being the godmommy or not? Are you keeping it? I hope you are! Females like me can’t even carry children while some are out here just getting abortions. You are about to experience a beautiful thing. Y’all bitches just don’t know! If I had known then what I know now, I would’ve kept my baby. Abortions can fuck you up and when the time comes when you want to have one, you can’t! I’m not saying it might happen to you. But you just never know. This could be your only time,” I told her.
“Damn, I haven’t thought about that!” Raja said.
“Well think about it now because you don’t want to wait until you are like four or five months to get one,” Tataliscious told her.
“Well, I’m thirteen weeks but I’m going to go home and think about what I want to do,” she said. I hope she does the right thing.
After they left, I sent Killa a text letting him know that I was sorry and that I really do love him. I wasn’t expecting a response because I knew he was done with me. A few moments later, I got a text from him and opened it up. It read:
“Bitch, stop texting his phone! You are a sad-ass bitch! But it’s all good, honey, because I am here to pick up your slack! I knew your stuck-up ass couldn’t keep a nigga like him. But anyways I rode that big dick to sleep! Yours truly, Quayla.”
I read the message over and over with tears falling from my eyes. She had the nerve to put the laughing emoji, the egg-plant emoji followed by the man riding-on-the-horse emoji. My whole world was crushed. I didn’t think he would run back to her so soon.
Koran
“What’s up?” I asked slapping hands with Royal. He was dropping Parker off to me because it was my weekend.
“Shit, I need to holla at you about something while I’m here though,” he said. I took Parker’s coat off so she could go to her room and play. I still couldn’t believe me and this nigga was actually getting along. Although, I’m still dating Tyran, I’m still in love with Cam. It’s hard seeing her with another man’s baby while engaged. But there is not a damn thing I could do about that!
I couldn’t make her love me and, eventually, I would have to get over it.
He sat down on the couch. This nigga was no joke, though. I’m not a dumb-ass nigga and I knew what they were capable of, and enough was enough. He had a whole squad behind him and I had no one. They were killing all my niggas and there was nothing I could about it. I had to just chalk that shit up to what it was.
“What’s good with you on that shit that happened with your niggas, though?” he asked straight out.
“Ain’t shit I can do about it. I mean, it’s fucked up but that’s just what it is!” I told him.
“Word? Because if there is something you need to get off of your chest, you can let me know now. If you feeling some type of way then we can get all of it out now! I haven’t thought about it before until recently that you might be on some slick shit. I’m not feeling having you come to my home when you might have some shit planned, or what not. I’m a man that protects his family by any means. So, whatever it is you want to do, let it happen now because if this shit comes to my front door, I won’t hesitate to body a nigga,” he said. This was one crazy motherfucker and I still couldn’t believe Cam loved a ruthless-ass dude like him.
“Yo, I just want to see my daughter and be in her life! I am mad how shit went down but I value my life because of that little girl in there. I’ll be damned to just have another nigga raising my daughter because I’m buried six feet somewhere. That shit is not happening! I might have been absent but that’s when I didn’t have my shit together. I’m here now and I would like for it to remain that way,” I told him.
“I feel you, but I’ll holla at you later!” he said giving me dap then leaving out. I’m not going to lie I was sweating because that nigga was a monster. If the shit they say about Corey is true, I didn’t want any parts of those crazy-ass people!
I’m not a bitch made nigga but I knew when my niggas were alive they would back me up without any problem. Now, I only had Tyran and Parker so I chose my words wisely and tried to stay away. All this shit happened because of me, anyway. If I would’ve let Cam go and never lied on her then he and I wouldn’t had gotten into that fight. I started all this mess and the smartest thing I could do now was let that shit go.
An hour later, the doorbell rang again and I opened it. It was Tyran and her son A.J. I gave him a pound and kissed Tyran on the cheek. Since they found her sister dead, she’s been down. Tashondra might have tried killing her but she still loved her. Tashondra’s kids were down in Florida with their aunt. Tyran said she couldn’t take all of them so it was best she didn’t take any of them. I didn’t blame her, though, because five kids with her son included would’ve been too much. Tyran thinks that someone in jail killed Tashondra but I know otherwise. That had the Fam written all over it, her death and Liyah’s.
“Where is Parker?” A.J asked. I forgot how they already knew each other. Everyone was connected to someone in some type of way.
“She is up in her room,” I told him, taking off his fitted hat and North Face jacket. Tyran dressed her son just like a little D-boy, that lil’ nigga stay fresh.
I poured her a glass of Moscato while the kids played. I handed it to her and she sipped right away. Tyran and I hadn’t had sex yet which was new to me. The only pussy I waited for was Cam’s. I didn’t mind, though, it was time f
or a change in how I carried it with women. She was a good girl and if she wasn’t ready she just wasn’t ready. It was crazy how we hooked up in a way but I’m glad we did. Later on down the road I could see myself falling for her hard. She was a little rough around the edges but she had a good heart. The way she cared for me when I was chained up showed me everything about her heart.
“So, when the kids go to sleep I figure we play a little!” she said.
“Oh, word? What type of playing are you talking about?” I asked.
She straddled me then started kissing me. “You know, the kind that involves the numbers six and nine,” she said, nibbling on my ear.
“Oh, damn? You sure you ready for that? A nigga never ate pussy before. But if you teaching, I don’t mind being a student!” I told her.
“You been with Cam all those years and never ate her out?” she asked.
“It’s a lot of things I didn’t do when she and I were together. Why do you think she is with that other nigga?” I said.
“That’s because she was made for him just like I believe you are made for me!” she said kissing me.
Killa
Quayla has been over my crib for a few days now. I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking calling her ass. I’m not fucking with the Henny anymore. I was drunk when I called her and ended up fucking her. I can’t even remember fucking her. I all knew was, I woke up with her naked. Now that I’ve been sober, she’s been irking the hell out of me!
I been copped up in the bed for a few days and now it was time for me to get to the studio. My label was called Money Boys Entertainment. Kilo had a recording session in a few hours. That little nigga could spit and he was only nineteen. Corey texted me telling me he got to rap to me later. I told him to meet me down at the studio.
I hope it wasn’t about his childish-ass sister because I did not want to deal with her ass at all. She was dead to me now. I couldn’t trust a broad like that. Fitz been hitting me up heavy lately but I didn’t even answer for him. This nigga was just trying to pick me for information about what I saw when I walked in on Kimmy using the bathroom. I wasn’t worried about that shit, though, that was their life.
I showered then got dressed and, like always, Quayla was downstairs on the couch running her mouth on the phone. Her ass still didn’t have a job but it was all good, though, because I was done with her ass, too.
“Ay, yo, you got to bounce!” I told her.
“Myla, let me call you back, this nigga is tripping already!” she said ending her call.
“What you ready to run back to that bitch?” she asked.
“That’s none of your fucking business!” I told her.
She grabbed her things then walked to the door. “You are one stupid-ass nigga! You stuck on that bitch and she doesn’t give a fuck about you!” she screamed.
“What the fuck does that make you? You stuck on a nigga that’s stuck on another bitch! Dumb ass! But I already hit the pussy so you can say what you want!” I told her.
“She has changed you! I don’t know what she has done to you, but since you started messing with that bitch, you became bitter! You are disrespectful and you don’t know how to talk to me!” she cried.
“Check this shit out real quick!” I said, pushing her towards the couch so she could sit down.
“I didn’t force you over here! I didn’t force my dick in you, neither! I called you the same day you sent me that fucking recording! You and your friends dogged the hell out of me remember? So, when I called you and told you come over here, what you thought, I wanted you back? Like for real, shorty, you cannot be that clueless! I just wanted the ass and you knew that! Have I ever said that I wanted to get back with you?” I asked her.
Silence.
“Have I?” I raised my voice at her. She shook her head, no.
“Okay, then! So don’t get mad at me then because you already knew what it was when I called you!” I told her.
“You still don’t have to talk to me that way!” she said.
“You know what? You are right, I apologize, lil’ mama!” I said kissing her forehead and she smiled.
We walked out and I locked the door then walked Quayla to her car. She kissed my lips and I promised to call her later even though I wasn’t going to. I didn’t mean to talk to her like that but she was right. Since I started fucking back with Jamie, my whole mood has changed. I should’ve let the past be the past, and moved on. But I loved her and always would. That bitch got some type of hold on me because I could never let her go.
She be having me feeling like a bitch-ass nigga the way she sends me through all of these emotions. I still couldn’t believe she done lied to me about some stupid shit like that. Out of all the girls I had fucked, she was the only one to pull that card.
I looked around in my car and under the seat for my wallet and it wasn’t there. It wasn’t in the house, neither, so I knew I left that shit on the counter in Jamie’s kitchen. I hoped her ass was at her shop because I was not trying to see her. I was leaving her key under the mat, too, because I no longer needed it.
I pulled up in front of her crib and her car was in the driveway. I let out a big breath as I got out because it was going to be some shit.
I rang the doorbell twice and she didn’t answer. I used my key and walked in. The crib was a mess and there were Chinese food boxes everywhere. I walked in the kitchen and my wallet was right on the counter. I was heading towards the door as she came down the stairs looking terrible. She had a bottle of gin in her hand with a silk robe on with nothing underneath it. Her breasts were spilling out but she didn’t care. Her hair was a mess and she had bags under her eyes.
“I was going to call you and tell you that you left your wallet over here. But being as though you had your bitch texting me back, I decided against it!” she said, taking a swig.
“Yo, why are you doing this shit to yourself?” I asked. She chuckled, drinking the rest of the liquor down like water. Once she was done, she burped then threw the bottle at me, hitting me upside of the head.
“Bitch, you gone crazy?” I asked her tapping my head to make sure it wasn’t bleeding. She came down the rest of the steps and sat down on the couch. She pulled a Black and Mild out of her purse then lit it up. This broad was really going crazy. I think she might need to see a psychiatrist.
“So, you couldn’t wait till you were done with me to fuck that bitch, huh?” she asked blowing out smoke.
“I don’t know what you are talking about!” I lied. Just because I wasn’t feeling her at the moment didn’t mean I could tell her some shit like that.
“Read this shit!” she said unlocking her phone and throwing it at me. I caught it and read the message she sent me and the one Quayla sent back to her. Quayla must have deleted the shit after she did it with her sneaky ass. I couldn’t trust these broads anymore. They lying about being pregnant and going through a nigga phone and shit while he was asleep.
“Okay, what you want me to say? We are not together anymore!” I told her.
“Just get the fuck out! You think you are the only one going through it? Do you think that shit was easy for me to do? It was not easy for me at all! Look at me! I’m hurting, too!” she cried.
“I’m out!” I said.
She ran to the door and blocked it. “How would you feel if I fucked another nigga? How would you have felt if you had text my phone just for my ex to respond? The fucking shit hurts! You went back to her?” she said.
I didn’t answer her because if a nigga had texted my phone from hers I would be fucking some shit up! I might fuck around and choke her ass.
“Do you not hear me talking to you?” she said with tears in her eyes.
“Yes, I did fuck her! Damn, you happy now?” I asked her. She slapped the hell out of me.
“Fuck you, bitch! I hate your ass!” she said throwing a shoebox at me off the table. When it fell on the floor the top popped off and all of these pictures and shit flew out.
“T
ake that shit with you! I been holding on to it for years! You wanna’ let me go? Well I’m letting your ass go, too!” she cried.
All of a sudden I got mad and slammed her against the wall.
“Bitch, don’t come at me like that ever again! I been good to you and what do you do? Lie to me about being pregnant! You already know how I feel about that shit but it was all a game to you! That’s all you do is play games! I’m sick of it!” I told her letting her robe go. She slid down the wall in tears.
“I’ll talk to you when you are sober because you ready to fuck around and make me slap your dumb ass!” I told her, leaving out the door.
I pulled up to my building and I tried to get myself together before I walked in. Corey pulled up beside me bumping his music all loud adding to my headache.
