Kiran runs his nose down my center, humming in pleasure. Even though my eyes are locked on him, I wasn’t prepared for his tongue to dart out and lick me. “Oh God,” I breathe out as his fingers spread me open and his tongue pushes inside.
I melt into his touch as his tongue continues to feast on me. I’m ready to scream from the way he’s delightfully tormenting me when his finger rubs against my clit.
My ache has turns into a burn and the need to find relief skyrockets. Kiran’s mouth moves up until he sucks my clit into his mouth. He moans and I feel the vibration through my body.
“You taste so fucking good,” he says before adding more pressure to my clit, which sends me over. I gasp in pleasure as my back arches off the bed. I push my core deeper into his mouth until my release finally stops. I struggle to catch my breath as I lay here relishing the way my body feels.
I bite my lip and take a glance at him to find his eyes glazed over with lust. Feeling brave and wanting to repay him the same favor, I push on his chest until he lies back on the bed. I kiss my way slowly down to his cock then pause.
I nervously swallow, wondering if I’m about to give him the world’s worst blowjob. “Relax, babe. As long as you don’t bite me, there’s nothing you can do that won’t feel incredible.” His encouraging words are exactly what I need. I wrap my hand around his thick length and lick him. Kiran hisses seconds before I suck him deep into my mouth. “Oh, Jesus,” he groans while I smile to myself.
I awkwardly have my hands on each side of him, resting on the bed as I push my mouth as far down as I can go. Kiran reaches out and places one of my hands on the bottom of his dick. As my mouth moves up, he moves my hand with it until I catch on and his hand drops away.
I suck him as deep into my mouth as I can, moving my hand with each stroke until I start speeding up. For some reason my free hand moves to his sack and I start rubbing him until he moans and tugs on my hair.
“I’m going to come,” he rushes out, but I keep working him up and down until his body tightens and I feel something warm and salty hit the back of my throat. I quickly swallow it down as his body begins to relax. I glide him out of my mouth then look up into his eyes, and I’m rewarded with a satisfied smirk.
“That was ...” he trails off, trying to catch his breath. “Fucking amazing.”
I move up the bed then curl around his body, wishing I could bottle up the feeling I have right now and keep it, and possibly Kiran, forever.
****
Kiran
I slide out from under Isabelle and walk to the bathroom. I quietly close the door and flip on the light to look at myself in the mirror. “What the fuck is wrong with me?” I mumble. I splash water on my face as uneasiness settles in. Somehow, I’ve allowed Isabelle to get under my skin, and I have no idea what I can do to keep her. If I even want to keep her. Shit, of course I want to keep her, that’s the problem. When it comes down to it, though, what I want doesn’t matter.
Every damn time she talks about her life in Mexico, I do my best not to act disappointed that she plans to return to her old life, but it’s getting harder every second I’m with her.
I walk back into the bedroom where Isabelle is sound asleep. Her blonde hair is spread across her pillow. Her back slowly rises and falls. My heart speeds up just from looking at her. I pull the chair up next to the bed and I continue to watch her peacefully sleep.
I’m twenty-five years old, and I’ve spent my entire adult life avoiding the exact situation I’m in: feeling vulnerable and powerless to another person. Even though she knows she means something to me, Isabelle has no idea the control she wields over me, and for my peace of mind, I hope she doesn’t discover how much she really means to me before I discover if I have what it takes to keep her.
****
Isabelle
When checkout time on Sunday arrives, I’m almost heartbroken because after this weekend I have no idea where I stand with Kiran. I can’t kid myself any longer. I want something real with him, but no matter how many walls I knock down, I know I won’t be here long enough to break past all of them. He’s still scared of the unknown, that much I’ve noticed.
Truthfully, it’s not fair of me to push. The last thing I want is for Kiran to fall in love with me only for me to disappear from his life.
“You ready?” Kiran’s question brings me out of my thoughts. I nod as I pick up my purse and walk to the door.
“Hey.” He sounds concerned. “Why the frown?”
I shrug, fighting the urge to act like a child and whine about how our incredible weekend is over. “Nothing is wrong. I want to tell you ...” I suck in a breath and smile. “Thank you. This weekend was perfect.”
He studies my features closely. “I should be the one thanking you.” He grabs my hand and laces it with his. “If you’re ready, then we better go.”
The ride down the elevator is done in silence, as is the ride to Kate’s house. When we pull into the garage, Kiran quickly pops out and rushes around to my side of the car, opens the door, and offers me his hand. With a silly grin on my face, I take his hand and we walk inside the garage door that leads to the kitchen. Once we’re in the kitchen, I spot Kate, Gavin, Tanner, and another man I’ve only seen on the internet before, which causes me to freeze. Kiran stumbles into me. “What the ...” he mumbles as his eyes land on the four people in front of us. “Alex,” he breathes out next to my ear.
Slowly Alex stands up while staring straight at me. Kate clears her throat. “Belle, this is Alex. Alex Johnson.” She unnecessarily adds his last name, as if I don’t know it’s my biological brother standing in front of me.
“Hi,” he says just above a whisper while holding his hand out for me to shake. I swallow my nerves as I look at his hand. Emotions I wasn’t expecting wash over me as Alex slowly retracts his hand after I make no attempt to greet him. “I’m sorry I came unannounced, but Kate told me you were staying here and she wasn’t sure how long you’d be in town.” Alex’s eyes dart over to Kate then back to me. “I was afraid if I waited until I moved out here in a few weeks that you’d be gone,” he adds, sounding almost as shattered as I feel. Everyone is watching me closely, but I have no idea what to say. I was willing to return home without ever meeting Alex or—God, I don’t even want to think it—my biological father...but, right now standing here in front of him, everything feels incredibly different.
“Hi.” My voice cracks.
“Maybe we should give you two some time alone,” Kate says, stepping away from the table at the same time Kiran steps away from me.
I quickly dart my hand out, grabbing ahold of his. “Stay. Please,” I beg not only with words but also with my eyes. Kiran nods his head and my breathing starts to calm knowing he’s not going to leave. Gavin wraps his arm around Kate’s shoulder and the two of them, with Tanner following behind, walk out of the room.
“You’re beautiful,” Alex says, causing my eyes to water. “But I don’t mean that in a creepy way,” he adds, causing both Kiran and me to chuckle.
“Thank you.” I’m absolutely lost as to what I should say or do. If I had known he was coming, I might have prepared myself, but then again, I might have refused to see him because looking at him hurts. It hurts worse than I ever expected because it makes what Damian did real.
He took me from people who loved me. He wrecked a family and in turn, he didn’t even take the correct baby. Now...twenty-one years later, I’m sitting across from my brother...my own brother...a man I only just met because of what he did.
“I’m not trying to be rude. I’m not sure what I should say,” I tell him as I swallow down my pain.
“I understand. I actually feel the same way,” he replies as a small smile lingers on his face.
Alex and I have almost the exact same color of hair and his eyes are definitely the same shade as mine. He has a decent amount of stubble on his chin, he’s wearing nice clothing, but what stands out the most are the bags under his eyes. Either stress or lack of
sleep, or maybe both, have taken a toll on a man whose only three years older than me.
“I imagined what you looked like, but I think I kept picturing Kate in my head. You look ...” He pauses and another painful look crosses his face. “You look exactly like our mom,” he adds, causing a tear to streak down my face. I quickly wipe it away, hoping no one saw my moment of weakness.
“I’m sorry about your mother,” I tell him. I read online that Shelley Johnson died not that long ago.
My words cause his eyes to flash. “Our mother,” he adds in a tight voice. Everything in me stills. As far as Alex Johnson is concerned, I’m his family. Me...a girl he just met...a girl that’s going to disappear from his life in a matter of days, leaving him just as heartbroken if not more than he is right now.
“Excuse me,” I say as I jump to my feet. I run as fast as I can up the stairs to my room. I quickly lock the door before climbing into bed where I start to sob.
Oh God...Damian. What have you done?
Isabelle
I nervously sit down in the chair across from Daddy’s desk. I was about to go for a swim when Manuel knocked on my door to inform me that Daddy wanted to see me.
“Belle, I think it’s time we had a talk.” My hands start to shake as I try to remember if I’ve done something he’d disapprove of.
“All of this will one day be yours.” He waves his hand around the room, causing my body to tighten. My sixteenth birthday is next week, and for the last year, Daddy has talked about what my future will hold. I’ve done everything he’s asked of me, but when push comes to shove, I’m still his little girl. I’m weak. In his eyes, I’ll always need someone to take care of me.
“Maybe...this isn’t the life I want.” My voice shakes as I hold his gaze. I’ve never stood up to Daddy before, or at the very least, I’ve never disagreed with him...until now.
“Is that so?” Daddy’s eyes travel down to my shaking hands and his face softens. He’s used to getting his way or forcing his will on someone to get what he wants, but with me, he’s different.
“Like it or not, Belle, you were born into this life. It’s your legacy.” My shoulders sag. He’s right. It doesn’t matter what I want...it never has.
****
I end up crying myself to sleep. I come awake sometime after the sun has set to a knock at my door. I have no idea who’s there and I’m unsure if I want whoever it is to see me like this...weak and tear-stricken. I wipe my face as I hear Kate’s voice. “Belle, can I come in...please?” I take a deep breath as I stand then unlock the door. I slowly crack it open and give her the best smile I can manage. “Hey, can I come in?” she repeats. I nod my head and open the door the rest of the way, relieved that no one else is with her.
“I’m sorry I sprung Alex on you the way I did. I asked you if it was okay and then I went and did it anyway. I’m sorry, really. I didn’t mean to upset you. It’s just ...” She sighs and sits down on the edge of my bed. “I met Alex over a year ago. He’s been a lost soul since the day I met him and he needed to see you. Even if all he gets are those few minutes earlier, he needed to see you. To know that you’re okay.” Kate watches me closely before squaring her shoulders. “What Damian did hurt a lot of people. It should have been me. You lived the life that was meant to be mine.” Her voice shakes as her eyes begin to water. “As much as I love Damian, I loved my parents more. If I say I wished Damian had taken me, I feel like I’m saying I wish I hadn’t been adopted by my parents, and nothing is further from the truth.”
Kate looks down at the floor. She’s struggling as much as I am, as much as Alex is. “I get what you’re feeling, at least on some level. If you acknowledge your feelings for Alex, you think that means you don’t love Damian but that’s not true. Until the day Damian stops breathing, he’s going to be in your life in some way, but that doesn’t mean Alex can’t have a place, too.”
I turn my face away as a tear falls. “What happens if I open myself up to him and then I leave again? Because that’s exactly what’s going to happen, Kate. Damian or one of his men will sweep in here and take me back, and like it or not, that’s the life I was given. What I want doesn’t matter.” My eyes flicker back to hers as she starts to cry.
“I hate that. God, I hate that and I’m so damn sorry. You deserve to be safe and happy as much as the rest of us.”
I straighten my back and take a calming breath. “Like it or not, that’s the world I belong in.”
Kate starts frantically shaking her head. “No. Damian has been gone for weeks now what if...what if ...” She can’t finish her statement.
“What if he’s dead?” I say for her. Kate slowly nods her head yes.
“Then someone else will come for me. Or ...” I shrug. “Eventually, someone will take me as a pawn in some sick form of revenge.” Kate starts sobbing. “I’ve always known this was going to be my future. I’ve prepared for it, and like it or not, it’s only a matter of time.”
Gavin pushes the door open and gives me a dirty look when he finds his girlfriend a sobbing mess. “What did you say to her?” he questions before dropping to his knees in front of Kate.
“Nothing,” Kate answers, reaching past Gavin to hug me. “God, I’m so sorry Belle,” she whispers into my ear.
I nod and lightly hug her back. “I’ll see Alex again. I’ll put forth effort but only if you promise me one thing.”
She pulls back and looks me in the eyes. “What?”
I swallow down my pain, acting a thousand times braver than I feel. “Take care of him when I leave. His life hasn’t been good to him, that much is clear. No matter what happens from here on out, he’s going to be hurt again when I’m gone.”
Kate slowly nods her head as tears continue to fall. After a few seconds, she wipes her face. “Dinner is almost done.” Kate stands up and reaches out for Gavin, who wraps her up in his arms.
“Give me a half an hour and I’ll eat with you.” Kate nods her head before the two of them leave.
I breathe out a sigh as I grab my stuff and head to the shower where I’m able to let my guard down enough to feel the pain that I’ve tried so hard to keep hidden. It’s moments like these when I know my father is right...I’m weak, and no matter how hard I try, I’m not fooling anyone but myself into believing otherwise.
I don’t want the life I once had in Poza Rica, but I also don’t wish any harm to come to Damian, but I’d be a fool to believe that I can stay here forever. It’s only a matter of time before my old life—my real life—bleeds into the one I’ve stupidly allowed myself to crave.
Once the hot water finally fades to cool, I force myself to get out. I dry off and put on a t-shirt and cotton shorts. I pull my hair up in a knot on my head and I take a long look at myself in the mirror. It doesn’t matter how I managed to get to this place in my life, those people downstairs are my family, and for reasons I don’t understand, they care about me.
My time with them might last five minutes, five days, or, hell, maybe even five months. Either way, I need to make the most of it.
Leaving my guard down, I don’t fix myself up and I head downstairs. As I get close to the kitchen, I can hear conversation followed by laughter. I walk in and the laughter dissipates as everyone takes a seat at the table, watching me. My eyes scan the room and stop on Alex.
“I’m sorry about earlier. I wasn’t prepared to handle the emotions I felt when I saw you,” I tell him before clearing my throat. “You’ve known about me my whole life and I only discovered you exist a short time ago.” My stomach twists as a painful expression crosses his face.
“I wish I could offer you more. I wish I could offer you a lifetime of more, but that’s not reality and now that you’re here I’m not sure how I’m supposed to act,” I admit.
Alex relaxes as he takes a deep breath. “No one is gifted with the knowledge of how long someone will be in his or her life. I’ll take whatever time I’m given,” he politely says. I glance over and see a worried expression on Kiran�
�s face. Since I’ve walked in the door, I haven’t spent a second with him, which is not how I intended to end our weekend.
“Okay,” I say, looking back at Alex while I move to the empty seat next to Kiran.
Once I sit down, his hand reaches out and squeezes mine. I look up into his eyes and I can’t keep myself from smiling. “Thank you,” I mouth, which rewards me with a beautiful grin.
Kate starts passing around bowls with spaghetti, salad, and bread as Callie starts talking about her friends at school. Before long, I feel at peace in the exact place where only hours before I was panicking.
“Alex is going to start work earlier than expected,” Gavin tells no one in particular.
Kiran pauses as he’s about to take a bite of food. “Really? ’Cause we could use the help.”
“I packed up my stuff and moved everything out here with me. I told my boss something came up,” he says as his eyes shoot to mine with a half-smile. “Have you found anything decent to rent?” Alex asks Kiran.
“I looked at a few places when I first got to town. Since school has already started, places are picked over, but we can still find something reasonable,” Kiran replies.
“Don’t settle. You both can stay here until you find something you’ll be happy with,” Kate adds while Gavin nods his head, agreeing with her. That same feeling I had earlier creeps back. The one where I wish I could make plans for the future with everyone around me.
“Belle, I told my friends at school that I’m living with a real princess,” Callie says with spaghetti sauce covering her cute face. “Can I take you to show and tell?” The table burst out laughing. “What?” she asks.
“I’m not a real princess,” I tell her.
“But you’re really pretty just like a princess. I know my friends would like to see you,” she adds with a pouty lip.
“Callie,” Gavin says in a firm tone, causing her face to fall.
“Maybe we could take a picture together and you can take it to school.” Her face lights up from my suggestion.
“Yay,” she says while clapping her hands. I look at Kate, who’s watching my every move. I can tell what I told her earlier is still on her mind, and while I never meant to upset her, I can’t risk her becoming any more attached than she already is.
Locked Away (Living With Lies Book 2) Page 12
