She didn’t know what to make of Gray. It wasn’t the big knife he wore on his narrow hips—clearly an emulation of his father and his uncle Cougar—that made her nervous. It was more that aura of intense energy that surrounded him, combined with those too-old eyes with which he surveyed everything. If she didn’t know he was Jenna’s son, she’d swear he was a warlock. What she hadn’t decided was whether he was a friendly one. That had bothered her. Tony and Kevin hadn’t had that many friends, but they’d had more than their fair share of rejection. Gray had the look of a boy who could be quite cutting. Her fears turned out to be for nothing.
Tony had found a kindred spirit in Gray. And vice versa. They were close in age and understood each other. The way they looked at the world was compatible, too. They both saw it as something to be conquered and managed. And since neither of them smiled much, neither worried the other was mad when they were just being quiet.
Kevin had also found a friend in Jenna’s adopted daughter. Brenna was another unique child. Red haired with wide-set green eyes. The bond between her and Gray was so strong, they often seemed to communicate without words. And yet, she’d attached herself to Kevin. Mimi wasn’t surprised. There was something about that boy that people loved. She liked to think it was his enthusiasm and fighting spirit. Heaven knows she found it endearing, though his enthusiasm for Gray’s knife did worry her. He was completely enthralled with it, and he’d taken to putting a stick in his belt loop in imitation. And they’d only been here a day. Two more and he might be wearing one of his own. That was a scary thought.
On the other hand, it was good to see him looking up to someone. There was so much of what most children took for granted that her three didn’t have. Parents. Stability. A community. Sighing, she rubbed her hands on her arms. She watched them run after the hoop, chasing it with a stick, trying to keep it going long enough to attempt more intricate tricks. They looked so carefree, laughing and playing, swapping suggestions and encouragement. For the first time since she could remember, they were just being children. One prayer answered. With a sigh, she went back to studying the road, the way she had since they’d arrived the previous afternoon. With a greed she wasn’t ashamed of, she wanted her second prayer answered. She wanted Jackson and Melinda Sue home.
Jenna came out onto the porch wiping her hands on her apron. She smelled like vanilla and sugar. It suited her. “Bri is finally down for her nap. I swear it’s unfair how she just nods right off for Clint but makes me sing ten lullabies before she’ll even consider closing her eyes . . .” Her voice trailed off as her gaze followed Mimi’s. “They’ll be back, Mimi. They wouldn’t have chanced attacking last night and risked Melinda Sue getting caught in the crossfire. They would have waited for this morning.”
“How did you know what I was thinking?”
Jenna’s smile was gentle. “Well, I could claim to have magical abilities, or it could just be common sense that you’re staring down the road so hard because you want to see your daughter and your man riding up it.”
Mimi smiled wryly. “Am I that obvious?”
“No more so than me. I miss Clint, too.”
And Clint was gone because of her. She owed this woman, this family, so much. “Thank you for letting us stay here.”
“It’s been my pleasure.”
Mimi placed her hand on Jenna’s forearm. There was strength in that softness. “If there’s anything I can do to repay you, let me know.”
A light flush touched Jenna’s cheeks. Her gaze locked on the children. “I heard you were making some . . . intimate clothing for Sunny and Red.”
“You heard?”
“At the restaurant. They were bragging on how they would be beautiful and drive the men wild.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Why?” She frowned at her and then chuckled. “Oh. I wasn’t embarrassed. It’s more that I’m intrigued.”
Mimi did a quick assessment. “You’re a stunning woman. I could make you something beautiful if you’d let me.”
“Do you really think you could?” Licking her lips, Jenna confessed, “Our anniversary is coming up. I’d love to surprise Clint with something . . . special.”
This was comfortable ground. “You mean sexy.”
Jenna’s blush bloomed to rival the bright red roses running rampant in front of the porch. “Yes.” She rubbed her thigh. “I have scars . . .”
Clint had to have seen those scars a hundred times over. “And you worry because . . . ?”
“I don’t want to look like a pig’s ear posing as a silk purse.”
As if that could ever happen. “I promise you, you will look lushly desirable, and not one bit foolish.”
“You’re sure?”
Oh, she was sure. “Very sure. This is my one talent and I take great pride in it.”
“Then it’s a deal.” Jenna held out her hand. “But I’m quite sure it’s not your only talent.”
Mimi took her hand. “Good.”
Jenna didn’t immediately release her. With a squeeze and a pat, she added, “I do promise you they’ll be back.”
“How do you know?”
“When you’re married to one of the McKinnleys, you do a lot of waiting and a lot of worrying.”
“I’m not married to Jackson.”
“Not yet.”
Mimi’s stupid heart did a hard thump at the possibility. Outwardly, she rolled her eyes. “We haven’t known each other very long.”
Jenna dismissed that with a wave of her hand. “I know couples that have known each other a long time and others who just up and knew from the get-go that they were meant to be, so I don’t think time has a lot to do with it.”
“I think I’m meant to be—”
She didn’t get to finish the thought, as Kevin spotted Jenna and hollered, “Miz Jenna! Watch me!”
Jenna moaned good-naturedly. “I’ve been discovered.”
So she had. The children just lit up seeing her on the porch. Even Tony smiled in a way he didn’t ever smile at Mimi. She felt a swift pang of jealousy.
His happy “Miz Jenna!” didn’t ease the sting.
Jenna said, “If you all come on in, I’ve got cookies.”
She didn’t have to say it twice. They came rushing.
“There is milk in the cool box. Be sure to have some.”
Gray came up at a slower pace. He stopped. His hair was long like Cougar’s. He was definitely all Indian, with those deep brown eyes and darker skin. He looked at her for a moment before continuing up the steps. As he passed, he said, “You don’t have to worry. He will return.”
A chill went down Mimi’s spine. So much self-possession in so young a boy was eerie. Following him into the house, she asked Jenna, “Does he know, or is he just guessing?”
Jenna shrugged. “I’ve never been able to figure that out, but he does inspire belief, doesn’t he?”
“Yes.”
Jenna shook out her apron. Flour puffed. She waved it away.
“You’re lucky to have such wonderful children.”
Jenna nodded. “That I am, but I’ll tell you a secret: I’d love to have more. There’s just something about the sound of children in the house that makes me happy.”
“Tony and Kevin love it here.”
Jenna looked at her. “Of course they do. We’ve got cookies and other children to play with. What’s not to love?”
Mimi sighed. “There’s more to it than that. You have stability. You have a home. You know what to do—”
Frowning, Jenna interrupted her. “What are you trying to say?”
“I’m not a good parent.”
“How can you say that? You’ve been—”
It was Mimi’s turn to interrupt. And when she did, it was like a dam broke deep down inside and the truth spilled out in a rapid tumble of words. “You d
on’t understand, Jenna. I don’t enjoy it. I feel like I’ve been thrown somewhere in time way ahead of myself, and I’m in this place where I’m just struggling and drowning. And I don’t think I’m doing well for myself. I don’t think I’m doing well for them. I don’t think I’m doing well for anyone and I’m just . . .” She pushed the feeling away with a quick gesture. “I’m just drowning.”
Jenna placed her hand on Mimi’s arm and squeezed lightly. “Oh, Mimi, we all feel this way from time to time.”
“I feel this way all the time.”
There was a long pause. Jenna smoothed her hair. “How old are you?”
“I turned nineteen last month.”
“Nineteen,” she repeated. “And how old is Tony?”
“He’s ten.”
“And the others?”
“Kevin’s eight and Melinda Sue is four.”
“You have been just tossed into the deep end of the lake, haven’t you?”
“I know.” She licked her lips. It felt so wrong to confess this, but so right, too. “My whole life, I’ve been paying for other people’s crimes, trying to live up to strict ideals. I have never even had a chance to decide for sure what I might want to be.”
“And now you’re a mother.”
“This is going to sound crazy, but I never planned to be a mother. I just wanted to get them out of Mac’s house.”
“Clint told me about Mac, but not anything about his house. Is it what I think it is?”
“Probably. At the time, when I thought I was married to Mac, I just gave it a lot of fancy names to make it more palatable, but when you boil down to it, it’s just a fancy whorehouse.”
Jenna put her hands up. “Wait! Back up. What do you mean, when you thought you were married to Mac?”
Ouch. Had she really let that slip? “It’s a long story.”
Jenna wasn’t one whit deterred. “Then let me get some milk and cookies and we can go on the porch and have a snack while you tell it.”
Jenna didn’t give Mimi time to protest, gathering up cookies and large glasses of cool milk on a tray, somehow twisting her arm with smiles and gentle nudges until she was seated out on the porch in one of the two rocking chairs, accepting a glass of milk and a plate of cookies.
“For such a nice woman you’re amazingly persuasive,” Mimi muttered.
Taking her seat, Jenna smiled her soft smile and arched her brows at her. “Where do you think Gray gets it from?” Picking up a cookie, she took a bite. Waving it in the air, she ordered, “Now, spill.”
Fifteen minutes later the cookie tray was empty and she’d spilled everything. Truth be told, it felt more like another purge, and Mimi couldn’t even say why she felt better for it, but she did.
Jenna, tapping her fingers against her glass, glanced over at the children. “Just a whorehouse?”
“Yes.”
“Sounds like a hell house to me. The life that monster would have condemned those children to doesn’t even bear thinking about.”
“No, it doesn’t.”
Jenna toasted her with the empty milk glass. “You saved them.”
“Not on purpose. Taking them with me was more of a panicked impulse than anything I thought out.”
Jenna dismissed that notion with a wave of her hand. “Sometimes doing the right thing just happens. Doesn’t make it any less right. At least that’s what Clint says.”
“I suppose.” It was a lot better way of looking at it than the way she did.
Jenna leaned back in the chair and set it to rocking with a push of her foot. After a moment, she asked, “If you weren’t a mother, Mimi, what would you want to do?”
“I think I’d like to be courted by a nice man. To flirt.”
“You’d like to be young.”
Very much so. “Yes. I’d really like to make a decision that’s based just on what I want or need or . . . I don’t even know how to explain it.” She tried to fill in the blank with a wave of her hand. “I want to have a time in my life where I make a choice because I want to.”
To her surprise, Jenna nodded. “I can really understand that. Before I married Clint, I was married to a very, very bad man. And before I was married to that very, very bad man, I was living under the roof of a very, very strict father. I think the only thing I knew really well was how to be afraid.”
Mimi blinked. “I just can’t even imagine you being afraid.”
Jenna smiled. “That was Clint’s gift to me. We married because of Brianna. Because I wanted children so badly and I couldn’t have them, and then somebody just left her on my doorstep.” Her smile was soft with remembered wonder. “She was clearly half Indian, with this wild hair that stuck straight up. I was widowed, crippled, and running my restaurant. Nobody in their right mind would give her to me, but Clint made it happen. And then he gave me more.”
Blowing out a breath, she shook her head. “I was a mess when he married me. I didn’t even know how to be me, but I’ve flourished in this marriage. I love Clint, and I love my life, but getting here wasn’t easy. I gave Clint some black moments. Through it all, though, he’s loved me as I am, with all my flaws, asking nothing in return except that I let myself love him as he is.”
“And you do?”
She nodded. “Loving like that, being loved like that, is the greatest gift.”
It was so easy to see why Clint loved Jenna and was so fiercely protective of her. There was an innocence about her, a purity of soul that just demanded protection, but there was also an inexhaustible strength that promised an emotional haven.
“Clint’s a very lucky man.”
Jenna grinned cheekily. “Yes, he is. But I’ve wandered off my point.” Jenna sighed and grimaced. “I know what you mean in regard to wanting to be in charge of your life. There was a point when I had to make a choice and it scared me, but I did it. It was the first time I’d ever done it, and to this day that decision was the hardest yet the best one I’ve ever made.”
The kids came out and plunked down on the porch, cookies in one hand and milk in the other. Kevin looked up. For approval?
“Are you having a good time?” she asked.
Kevin grinned and nodded. To Jenna, he announced, “I love it here.”
Mimi’s heart caught. She couldn’t provide him with this.
Jenna smiled. “And I love having you here.”
And she did. Mimi could see it. Jenna was a natural mother. She exuded warmth and hugs and happiness. She was comfortable with who she was. She was comfortable in that role.
Tony took a bite of his cookie and then another one, as if he thought the first one wasn’t big enough. “Melinda Sue is going to be mad she missed out on these cookies.”
“I set some aside for her.”
Jenna said it so simply, as if there was no doubt in her mind Melinda Sue would be back. Mimi was grateful.
Gray glanced over. “Where’d you hide them?”
“Oh, no, I’m not telling you that.”
He shrugged as if it was no matter.
Jenna feigned offense. “And don’t you even think about ferreting them out.”
On another shrug, he said, “We can always make more.”
Mimi had to admire his nonchalance.
Jenna shook her head. “Yes, we could, but I think it would be nice to have something special for her when she comes home. She’s had quite the adventure.”
Gray looked off into the distance. With a nod, he pronounced, “She’ll like that.”
“You don’t even know her,” Tony said, the next cookie lined up for devouring.
Gray glanced at him and raised a brow. “What’s not to like about cookies?”
He had a point. Kevin handed her a cookie. Even though she was full, Mimi took a bite. The rich sweetness spread across her tongue. The cookie would taste even bett
er if Jackson and Mellie would appear on the horizon.
Gray tapped her shoulder.
She turned. He pointed to the right. “They’ll be coming from that way when they come.”
There was nothing to do except say “thank you” and change her position.
* * *
• • •
That evening, Mimi was back sitting on the porch steps, listening to the sound of the crickets chirping, watching the bats fly by in their erratic patterns, and swatting the mosquitoes that ventured forth. She looked up at the sky. The stars were big tonight but the moon not so much. It was starting to wane but still bright enough to illuminate the landscape, which was why she was out here watching the horizon in between trying to break the coded names in Mac’s book.
Over and over she ran her finger over the names. It was so frustrating. There was something about the mixture of letters and numbers that teased her. There was a pattern to the combinations. She could almost see it . . . but just when she thought she had it, it disappeared.
Turning up the lantern at her side, she gave it another try. As soon as she did, the moths came flying in, fluttering about and getting in her hair. She quickly turned it back down. Reading outside at night was definitely a balancing act.
The children were inside playing poker with Jenna, using twigs as chips. Even little Brianna was throwing a card into the mix now and then. They’d invited her to join in, but she was too worried to be social. She didn’t have the confidence that everyone else did that the men would bring Melinda Sue back. What if Jackson was wrong? What if Mac had found her? What if he’d ridden into a trap? She knew Mac, how devious and evil he was. He’d shown her too many times how much he enjoyed tricking people and then making them suffer. What if he’d done that to Jackson and his friends? Mac knew important people everywhere.
Hearing the front door squeak, she turned. Kevin came out to join her.
“Are you all done playing cards?”
He shrugged and dropped into the rocker beside her. “I lost the entire pot.”
Promises Decide Page 23
