Justin: Can we talk? Please?
My breath catches in my throat. No. There’s no way I’m talking to him. He ignored my texts forever. Enjoy how it feels, buddy.
I walk away, setting the phone back down as I go into my bedroom. Our team photo from this year hangs askew on the wall, so I reach over and tweak it. Better. On the desk below, two picture frames are turned over. My finger flips it over before I catch myself. Justin stares back at me, his hands wrapped around my waist, smiling as he brushes white paint on my face.
Pressing the photo back into the desk, I walk away. No need to flip over the other photo of us after homecoming and torture myself.
The phone vibrates again on the counter. And again. And again. Seriously? Get a clue. I pace the room with each vibration. The buzzing goes crazy. Oh my gosh. Is he seriously calling me? We haven’t spoken on the phone since the day we broke up.
I crawl into bed, propping pillows on my lap. A lame attempt at self-restraint to keep me from running into that bathroom and answering the phone. I can do this. I can stay away from Justin. I will not fall into his arms just because he’s finally calling me. That’s not how this works.
Suddenly, something clinks against my window. Weird. The forecast said rainstorm but no hail. The clinks keep coming, but only on that window, and in rhythmic form. Maybe I should look? There’s always been that crazy part of me that’s wanted the guy throwing pebbles. But, no. I won’t go.
But what if it’s Ian? What if he’s being all cute and romantic, trying to show he really is into me and I should give him another chance? I mean, yeah, that’d be creepy, but he’s homeschooled. That’s what guys do in the movies. It’s already raining lightly. If he was stuck waiting out in that and got sick because of me, I’d feel horrible.
Okay. I move the pillows away. I’ll check, just in case it’s him.
I peel back the curtain and try to see through the branches of the tree blocking my window to the ground below. Dad’s right. This thing needs to come down before it crushes me in my sleep during a storm. It’s way too close. Another clink hits the window, right at nose level.
What the heck?
I focus in on the only place where a direct hit like that could come from. The tree trunk. Justin’s wrapped around it, his hair wildly curly in the rain. The brightness of his green eyes startles me. I jump back, knocking over my desk chair.
“Open the window!” Justin screams. Oh my god! My parents are going to hear him!
I yank open the window and lean out. “Justin Marshall. What are you doing? My parents are still awake in the kitchen. They are going to hear you.”
“I don’t care. I don’t care if the whole world hears me, as long as you hear me.”
I glare at him. He’s insane. “Not happening. I’ve said all I needed to say to you.” I slam the window shut and yank the curtains closed. Holy crap. He’s in my tree.
“Lucy!”
And he’s yelling again at the top of his lungs. I lunge again, opening the curtains and yanking open the window. “I’m not kidding. You need to stop. You’re going to get me in trouble.”
“I’m not kidding either. I’ll yell until they call the cops. I don’t care.” He opens his mouth again to shout my name but I throw up my hand.
“Fine,” I say.
“Can I come in?”
“Hell, no,” I say as I remove the screen. I fling my leg over the windowsill, grabbing the branch above me and letting my feet dangle, finding the one below. My arms lift me and I tiptoe on the branch until the two come closer together. The bark is slippery from the mist. My toes slide and I scramble to find footing.
“Shit, Lucy.” Justin reaches out, pulling me around the waist toward the thicker part of the branch and the trunk. He holds me for a moment, with heavy breath. My skin screams for him. Must find distance. I reach above, pulling myself to another branch, giving myself the space I need from his amazing touch.
“Are you crazy?” Justin says, a scold to his voice I’ve never heard before.
“You’re the one who wanted to talk,” I snap back.
“Not out here.”
“Then why the hell did you climb my tree?”
“You wouldn’t answer the phone. Your light was on…I don’t know. I needed to talk to you!” He pulls his hands through his hair before he stabilizes on the branches. He lets go of the trunk, pulling his hoodie over his head, so he’s just wearing his gray v-neck undershirt. He steps out toward me and I tremble, realizing how horrible I’d feel if he fell. He hands me the hoodie. “Take it. I don’t want you getting sick.”
The hair on my skin is already standing on end, goosebumps becoming more pronounced with each shiver.
“Take it,” he insists and I do. I pull it over my head and the smell—oh God—the warm smell of Justin wraps itself around me. The sensation overwhelms me and I struggle to maintain composure. His smell will not send me to tears.
“Why did you come here?” I ask as he reaches up to steady himself on the branch above me.
“To say I’m stupid.”
“Yeah, you are,” I spit back. The tears start. He is stupid!
“I should’ve never let you go. Take me back.”
“Why? Why would I ever do that?” I scoot farther away on the branch, but he’s there, climbing with me.
“Because you were right and I was wrong. I wanted everything to be perfect for you. But here’s the truth, Lucy: I’m not perfect… I’m a mess. I can’t promise perfection and I was a fool to believe I could keep things like that. Turns out, I don’t want perfection. I want a real relationship.” He reaches out, touching my cheek. “I want to know when you cry, so I can dry your tears and share your pain. I never want you to hold back how you feel because you’re afraid it’ll stress me out. I can handle it now, because I’m a mess. Because I know it’s okay. It’s life.”
His words are like hydrogen peroxide to my wounds.
“You weren’t happy with me. It got hard. Really hard,” I say between shaky breaths. Crap, I don’t even know what I’m saying. With Justin so close and his smell all around me, it’s impossible to know what I want. My head’s gone and my emotional pendulum is swinging on turbo mode.
“It’s not always going to be easy. Look at your parents, look at your friendships. Not easy. That honeymoon stage was awesome, but we’d be foolish to think it lasts like that always. Heck, I don’t want it to. Challenges are coming. I want to meet life’s challenges with you. The best part will be growing together, changing. It’s going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But I want it. All of it.” He leans down toward me, his mouth hovering only a few inches from my own. “All the kisses. All the fights. All the tears.” I blink as his finger gently wipes away the tears that somehow made it onto my cheek. “Be with me,” he says with bated breath.
I gaze at him as my heart plays wrecking ball inside the cage where I shoved it when he left me. “You can’t show up and apologize for breaking my heart and expect everything to be fine.” My adrenaline kicks in, fighting back against his ability to make me swoon. Words need to be said, right now.
He laughs wildly then, his hair crazy and his shirt soaking wet. “Believe it or not, I don’t want everything to always be fine. I lived like that for a long time and it sucked. Who knows what the future holds? All I know is I want to tackle it with you.” He reaches again for my arm. “Lucy, you’re the love of my life. I need you in it, if you’ll have me.”
My pulse throbs in my ears. I reach out, wanting to shake some sense into him. Why is he doing this to me? It hurts so much. But just as my hand reaches his chest, he shifts positions and suddenly, he’s falling forward out of the tree.
Oh no! My heart stops as I watch the fall and only beats again as he lands on his feet. Thank God he’s so athletic. He turns around and glares up at me, his face all screwed up. Whoa. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Justin pissed off before.
The rain picks up strength. He shields his face as he looks up to
ward me. “Don’t you dare end things like that,” he yells up to me. “I’m here, loving every part of you. Take it.”
“It’s not that easy!” I shout back over the now downpour.
“It can be though. How else do you take a risk? Sometimes you’ve just got to leap.”
I cling to the tree. If I jump, will he think I’m all in? Because…oh God. Yes, I am. But, no…this is such a mess still!
“Get your butt down here and let’s finish this conversation. For better or worse.” His pissed off look does something then that I never expected. It proves he’s not just perfect, he’s human. Somehow, being pissed at me is one of the best things he’s ever done.
I swing my legs, antagonizing him. “It’s not going to end well.”
“I don’t care. Either come down or I’m coming back up.”
I jump then, bracing my ankles to take the impact of the landing. Suddenly, he steps in front of my landing spot, catching me at the hip. He holds me above him, pressing me against his chest as he slowly lowers me to his eye level.
I push against him. “Put me down!” How dare he hold me right now.
“Is that what you really want?” His voice is husky, the intensity sends warmth up my spine. “Me to let you go?”
I hesitate, feeling the thump of his heart against my own. Our hearts reach out for one another, mingling in rhythm and song. This, this is… whoa. Whoa. Every cell in my body aligns, finally feeling right where I belong.
“I thought so,” he says after I don’t answer him. He still holds me as the skies open and sheets of rain fall. “I’ll never let you go, Lucy. Unless you want me to. But, please,” he says, “don’t ever ask me to do that.”
His lips find my jawline. So soft against my skin. A sigh of longing follows. “I love everything about you. Please, let me back into your life. I want you. All of you. Always.”
As I try to breathe through the power of his kiss, my eyes catch the silhouette of my parents in the window. They’re putting away dishes, still clueless I’m out here. The image of them together makes everything click. My parents only made it through Mom’s depression because they fought for one another, worked hard, and believed in love. They had no idea they’d be handling that when they started dating. Life isn’t an exclusively lovely road. It’d be naive of me to think that’s what love is. Hell, I don’t want a love that shallow. I want a love that will last a lifetime, like theirs.
“Please, be with me?” Justin asks one more time. His voice melts my steely resolve. My hands find his hair, my lips scorch against his. I wrap my legs around him as I abandon the idea of perfect love, instead, embracing real love. A love that’s shaking me to my bones.
“Yes.”
“Yes?”
I lean into him once more, answering with my lips again. Our bodies tremble together as we explore one another in an intensity we’ve never experienced before. “I love you,” I say.
Real, raw, terrifying love.
A complete mess. Perfect.
Epilogue
My breath stills as I lean back, delighting in the early summer warmth on my cheek. God, it feels so good to be back at the pool. I shift on the bench, enjoying another deep breath. The pool gate creaks back and forth as I eavesdrop on people talking about their plans for Watson’s Kick-Off Summer party tonight.
I can’t help but laugh, remembering what happened a year ago on this exact bench. I was weak, lost, and pissed off. So incredibly pissed off at the guy who thought he was wise and knew how I should be living my life.
Suddenly, a hand rests on my shoulder and, instead of jumping, my muscles relax.
“Hey, Lady,” he whispers before his lips press into my cheek, that five o’clock stubble tickling me. “What are you thinking about?” He takes my hand as he crosses to the front of the bench, sliding next to me and smiling.
That strong jaw and always there five o’clock shadow still makes my heart trip. I lean in, kissing it lightly before I tell him everything.
The End
Acknowledgements
First, I must thank my readers for loving Effortless With You enough to give me the opportunity to share more of Justin and Lucy’s story in Perfectly Messy. Every word of praise and encouragement has meant the world to me. Thank you.
To my husband, Greg, thank you for fighting daily to have a real relationship with me. You’re my warrior and I love you.
To Evelyn, Penelope, and Owen, thank you for making me a better and stronger person. Being your mother is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I look at you and know I can do it, because I do it for you. It’s always for you.
Also, thank you to my parents and siblings for their love and support. A special shout out to David Wirt for lending a guy’s perspective and picking out a great pair of basketball shoes.
To my first readers, Rebecca Froehle and Rose Froehle, your enthusiasm for Primer gave me the courage to step out there and take a chance on my dream. Thank you.
To Elissa Lucier, thank you for dealing with me frantically throwing plot twists at you over the phone. Your insight as a youth pastor was invaluable! Katie Stano, thank you for watching my children so this book could actually make it into readers’ hands.
To my wonderful critique partners, Fiona McLaren, Katrina Sincek, Cassie Mae, Rebecca Yarros and Nikki Urang, thank you for diving in and helping me bring the next step of Justin and Lucy’s relationship to life. To my supportive author groups, The Off Beats and Beta Book Peeps, thank you for your endless encouragement and love.
This book also wouldn’t exist without the support of my amazing agent, Dr. Jamie Bodnar Drowley. Thank you for being a woman of great character.
Thank you to Mandy Schoen, my incredible editor, for “getting” me and dealing with my create-a-word vocabulary. More than anyone, you’ve always understood the heart of each story. Working with you is a joy.
Thank you also to Georgia McBride and the team at Swoon Romance for all they have done to help this series become a reality.
LIZZY CHARLES
Lizzy Charles lives in the Twin Cities and is a graduate of the University of Minnesota. When she isn’t raising her three children or caring for premature and sick babies as a neonatal intensive care nurse, she’s seeking refuge with her laptop, sparkling water, and dark chocolate. She married her high school sweetheart, a swoon-worthy musician, so it’s no surprise she’s fallen in love with writing contemporary YA romance novels.
Preview more great YA titles from Swoon Romance.
Visit www.myswoonromance.com
Table of Contents
Acknowledgements
Praise for Lizzy Charles
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Epilogue
Acknowledgements
About the Author
Other Titles From Swoon Romance
ale(100%); -moz-filter: grayscale(100%); -o-filter: grayscale(100%); -ms-filter: grayscale(100%); filter: grayscale(100%); " class="sharethis-inline-share-buttons">share
Perfectly Messy Page 23
