“Hold on! Are you telling me that you and Derrick made out yesterday?” Kim is off the stool and standing up facing me with a surprised expression on her face.
“Um, yeah I guess. I mean, yeah. We went for our hike and ended up kissing just inside the woods. But it ended differently than you might expect. He was so overpowering, and all I wanted to do was indulge myself in his presence. He had this pull over me, I didn’t want his lips to leave mine, at least until I thought I saw Ethan.”
“You mean, Ethan was out there, too? This is too much Lindsay! I thought you said you haven’t seen him since the party,” she challenged.
“Well, actually I’m still not sure if Ethan was actually out there. When I thought I saw him I pulled away from Derrick because I was caught off guard. I’m not sure if I was just seeing things out there or if my mind was playing tricks on me.”
She huffed at me, “I don’t really know what to say. You’re definitely moving really fast. So are you sitting here because Ethan still hasn’t gotten in touch with you? Are you not sure how you feel about Derrick? I mean almost every girl in school has a crush on him so maybe it is his good looks and his charming ways that are making you think you like him.” She is right about that. Every girl in our school wants to be with Derrick. He’s extremely hot and is probably the sweetest boy in school, but I know that is not why I’m attracted to him. It is more than that. If it was his looks, then I would have noticed when I first met him. “I like Derrick as more than just a friend,” I say. “My attraction toward him is more than just the normal high school crush. When I’m around him he makes me feel different. I feel safe and at peace with him. In all honesty though, Kim, I’m not sure what I want. Ethan is almost someone I can’t live without, and I can’t explain why. I feel like there’s definitely something with Ethan that I need to figure out because why else would I be so uncontrollably attracted to him? Derrick is someone I want in my life even if we’re just friends. He’s really good to me, and I don’t want to ruin it with him by moving forward with what we have. I think for now I’m satisfied with us just being friends. I really have to figure out what my feelings toward Ethan mean. I also have to find out what is going on with him and why he ran off the other night.”
“I think what you need, Lindsay, is to get your mind off of this boy situation and come out with me tonight. I know this small dance club in town and it’s a great place to just hang out. It will help you get your mind off of them and we need a girl’s night out. God knows I need to get out!”
I don’t know that I’m in the mood to be out and socializing, but I guess it would be for the best. “Yeah, I guess. That would be nice. I do need to do something to get my mind off of everything that has been going on the past couple of days.” I do need to have some fun without going crazy about both these guys. The great thing about having Kim as a friend is that she knows how to have fun and she’s always up for dancing and a good time.
“Okay. It’s a date then. I’m going to head home and get myself put together, and then I’ll meet you back here at 7 o’clock. Get ready and I’ll drive.” She gives me a tight hug and turns to leave.
“Okay. I’ll see you later, Kim.” As she walks out the door, I can’t help but think about Ethan. I want to know what he’s doing right now and where he will be tonight. I wish I could see him, wish I could know what’s going on. I shouldn’t dwell on it, but I can’t help it. If I could just be near him, feel him, and be close to him again, it would bring so much satisfaction to me. It would put me at ease with this whole mess.
With him around, the whole world slows down just for us, and I can hear the sound of our hearts beating together. His presence alone is all I need. His tall muscular build with those extremely gorgeous and desirable stunning black eyes, I want them to look into my soul like they have before. I want to run my fingers through his full brown hair and press my lips to his. Who knows, though, when I’ll see him again? I have to concentrate on now and get my emotions together. It’s 4:30 now, so I’ll take a little nap before going out tonight. Kim always has me out late so if I’m going to keep up with her I will have to get some sleep before I go.
Falling asleep wasn’t difficult, but my sleep is. I have another dream. I’m standing outside next to the creek again but farther inside the woods this time. A man is in front of me with his back toward me. All I can see are his strong but lean tall build, and I recognize his full black hair. He wears dark jeans with a black and grey Columbia jacket. I know who it is. Derrick. I feel like grabbing him and wrapping myself in him. I feel so alone after Ethan abandoned me with no explanation.
I just wanted to throw myself at Derrick in hopes that he would comfort me and make me feel whole again. When he turns to look at me, his beautiful blue eyes are as striking as ever, but something is different about them. They seem darker. The expression on his face is dark as well. He doesn’t look happy and friendly like he always is. I’ve never seen him like this before. The one thing I won’t forget is what he said to me before I woke up: “Don’t go near him Lindsay. He will take a part of you that you will never be able to get back, and even I won’t be able to save you. I cannot stand in his way. It is against our laws, but I’m giving you this warning as I don’t want you to be harmed.” That was all he said before he vanished and I woke up here on my bed. I just can’t figure out why I would dream about something like that and why I would dream that he said that. Who is he talking about when he say’s “Don’t go near him,” and what could this person take from me?
Maybe I need to stop reading into these dreams so much; it’s probably all my stress causing me to have these crazy dreams, but ever since I started having dreams like this about Ethan; they have felt so real. I can’t help but feel like they mean something. I know that I can’t ignore them.
“Lindsay! Kim is at the door for you.”
Oh crap, my mom is home. What time is it? Seven o’clock. Oh no, I’ve been asleep for two and a half hours. “Tell her I’ll be down in a couple of minutes,” I yelled down the stairs. I don’t want Kim to see that I haven’t even gotten ready yet, and I look like crap since I just woke up. I have bed head and my mascara is smudged under my eyes. I have to jump in the shower even if Kim has to wait. There is no way I’m going out looking like this.
I pull my hair up into a wet pony tail and put on some jeans and a T-shirt with my black Converse. I don’t feel like dressing up. I would rather just go casual. I’m really not in the mood to impress anyone. Walking downstairs, I can see Kim standing in the entry way next to the door tapping her right foot impatiently. Of course she looks ten times nicer than me. She’s always stunning, and it doesn’t matter what she wears. Her beautiful blonde hair was made into a small poof of curls on the top her head with strands of curls framing your face. It is absolutely flawless. Her large blue eyes are stunning against her blonde hair and fair skin. She’s wearing a sleek short red dress that has spaghetti straps and barely covers her body. Her shoes are matching red heels that are open toe, completing her outfit. Now I just feel like a frump in what I’m wearing. At least this way she will be the center of attention and maybe I can just blend in a little.
“Oh no, no way!” she says. “I’m not going out with you when you’re wearing that! Lindsay, you need to head back upstairs and change and I’m coming with you.” Before I can say anything, she grabs me by my elbow and almost drags me back up the stairs with her petite but strong hands. “This is a night of fun and dancing, and there’s no way you can have fun or dance in that boring outfit.”
As always, she’s very blunt and to the point and doesn’t really give me much of a choice. She rummages through my closet as I sit on the end of my bed patiently watching her and hoping she will change her mind once she realizes I don’t have anything as nice as her to wear. Then just as I thought she was going to give up she pulls out this short turquoise strapless dress that I’ve had for a couple of years. I wore it to a wedding for an aunt that I don’t really know. It reminds
me of a dress that a salsa dancer would wear. It has three different layers of fringe and they shake as you walk.
“This is perfect,” she says, “just the dress for you to be dancing in. Go put it on, and I’ll pick you out some heels.”
She throws the dress at me and I jump off bed and go to the bathroom to put it on even though I really don’t want to, but I know it will make her happy. She’s right though about it being a dress to go dancing in. It would look absolutely gorgeous on her. I put it on and throw my other clothes into the hamper in the bathroom. When I walk out, Kim is holding some silver open toe heels to go with the dress. These shoes are also the shoes that I wore for the wedding.
“You look beautiful,” she says. “See all it takes is a little effort and then you’re absolutely stunning.”
I put the shoes on and then walk over to stand in front of my full-length mirror. My hair was still pulled up into a wet pony tail, but it actually looks good pulled back. Since it is strapless, my hair being up shows off my lean collarbone and neck. I look more mature all dressed up. “Thanks Kim. It really is a nice outfit. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
“Yeah, I know, I’m amazing. Now let’s get out of here before it gets any later. You’re going to have some fun tonight Lindsay!”
***
Ethan
I can’t bear it anymore. I’ll go and see her tonight. I know I’ll be able to sense where she is, and I can’t go on any longer without talking to her. I have to let her know how I feel, especially after I took off the other night. I can feel her soul and it’s been disrupted, because of me. I have to set it right. I’m not being fair to her by just leaving her hanging like this. Tonight is the night that I’ll find her and talk to her. I can’t tell her who I am yet, but I have to let her know I care about her. I need her to trust me and feel safe with me so that I can tell her the truth and why this is so difficult for me. I can’t hide out in this empty house any longer. I need to see her and touch her smooth skin and run my fingers through her long brown hair. I have to look into those brown oval eyes and tell her I love her.
SIX
We take Kim’s car out since I don’t own a vehicle. I seem to be the only one my age who doesn’t and not just that but it seems that all of the people that I know that have a car have really nice ones. Kim has a black two-door Lexus that has cream leather seats with that new car smell and every amenity a vehicle could have. I don’t ask her, but I would have to assume that her parents bought her the car. My dad is a big-time lawyer, and he won’t even get me a piece of junk vehicle. He says I have to earn it myself and that things aren’t just given to you. My mom always spoils me as far as shopping goes, but for the more expensive things my dad always has to step in and say that I have to find a way to get it myself. I haven’t been to a club before, even back in my hometown. Kim, of all people, would know the best clubs to go to. She isn’t a party girl, but she knows how to have fun. We pull up to the club, and from outside it isn’t a whole lot to look at. Groups of people standing around smoking and others are waiting in line to get in along with the packed cars fill the parking lot. Kim walks us right up to the front door, and the bouncer lets us right in after giving Kim a gentlemen hug. It’s obvious he knows her. As we walk into the club people right and left walk up to Kim to greet her either with a hand shake or a hug. She seems to know just about everyone. She stands tall and lean in her heels appearing so mature and worldly. She pulls me by my wrist directing me to a small table. I’m pretty sure we aren’t supposed to be in this section but no one seems to notice or care.
“Anything to drink, Lindsay? You seem surprised, is everything okay?”
“Um, yeah. I mean, are we supposed to be over here? I don’t think they will serve us alcohol.”
“My parents are friends of the people that own this club, so I come here a lot. My parents don’t seem to care if I do and the owners are extremely nice and generous. I don’t have to pay a cover and I’m able to drink anything I want. And, it is actually a 21 and older club. So, technically everyone in here is older than us and we really aren’t allowed in but I get special treatment. So do you want anything to drink?”
She’s so sure of herself when she speaks and she acts as if it is no big deal. I don’t really have much of a choice but to follow along since she’s the only one I know out here and it is her vehicle that is getting me home. “Wow, that’s awesome, Kim. Just get me a Coke with no ice please.”
She tells our order to the waiter standing at the corner of our table, “Two Cokes and hold the ice.” I didn’t even see him standing there behind my shoulder. He’s tall and skinny with a pale blonde buzz cut.
“Okay Kim. Be back with those Cokes in just a few.” He walks away toward the bar hollering to the lady behind the counter to get our drinks.
“Wow you really do know everyone here, huh?”
“I told you I come here all the time. I love getting out into the night life and just dancing my ass off and having fun. I’m glad that you came with me tonight.” Kim has to pretty much yell into my ear for me to hear her over the loud music.
The room is dark, but there are colored strobe lights flashing on the dance floor that look really cool and sort of mesmerizing but at the same time make me a little queasy. The dance floor is covered with all different types of people showing off their own style of dance moves. Looking around the club, it seems packed. We’re in the area where all the tables and the bar is located, and the rest of the club is pretty much a dance floor and some chairs along the walls for people to sit down. Up in the front the DJ is up on a small stage. The whole set-up of the place seems extremely simple, and the appearance of the room gives you the feeling that you can come and just let loose and dance.
As the waiter comes with our drinks I yell into Kim’s ear that I’m happy she dragged me out here. I really am glad to be out of the house, and with the club being so loud and packed, I can’t even think about Ethan or Derrick. I’m going to take advantage of being out here with Kim tonight and just enjoy myself.
“Take a sip of your Coke and then let’s get our butts out of these chairs and on the dance floor.” Kim stands up reaching her hand out for me, and I take a quick drink of my Coke. Grabbing my hand, she leads me out to the dance floor, and we start dancing. With my eyes closed, I just let my body move to the music as Kim dances in front of me. I let my mind go clear and let my body take over. Dancing to the beat and letting my body move freely feels so good. Kim was right about me being able to forget my problems and just feel good in the moment. I tilt my head back taking in the room, and before I know it I’m flat on my ass. I look up and a tall large girl with short hair wearing a skimpy dress is standing over me yelling at me to watch were I’m going. I have no clue what she’s talking about or why she pushed me down. I wasn’t moving around the dance floor, just sticking to my spot in front of Kim. Kim pushes passed the scary girl and kneels down to help me up as the girl steps behind Kim and gives her a push with her shoe. Kim falls right on top of me. Looking surprised and shocked as ever, I’m really unsure of what’s going on. The girl is standing over us laughing hysterically.
“Alright that’s it! I’ve had enough and there is no way I’m taking this bullshit.” Kim jumps up to her feet and stands to face the girl that shoved both of us down. I want to yell to Kim to not do anything too crazy as the girl looks pretty frightening and towers over Kim. Before I can even get to my feet Kim lands a right hook straight to the girls face and knocks the girl five feet back onto her ass. Now Kim is the one laughing. The girl doesn’t even have time to get up. Kim grabs me by my arm and lifts me to my feet then pushes me toward the door to leave. The look on my face can’t possibly describe how shocked I am.
I’m stunned into silence by what just took place. How can a skinny pretty girl that looks like she doesn’t have an ounce of muscle hit a girl that is three times her size down to the ground with one blow? I don’t even realize we’re outside until I feel a small chill o
n my shoulders. I just keep replaying what just happened in my head trying to make sense of it. “What the hell happened back there, Kim?” She still has a grip on my arm and is pulling me toward her car.
“Oh, it was nothing. Just been taking some boxing classes the past couple of years and I guess they have really paid off. Hell if I’m going to let anyone bully my friend around, let alone kick me like that,” she says sticking her chin out.
“Those must be some boxing lessons because I think you turned into the Incredible Hulk back there. That girl was almost three times your size. Guess I’m lucky to have you on my side.” We get to her car and climb in. “So are we cutting the night short and heading home then? I would have to guess that we don’t want to go back in there.”
She looks at me mockingly, “Of course we aren’t going home. We got all dressed up to have some fun and that is exactly what we’re going to do. We aren’t going to let some bully ruin our night. I know plenty of clubs here in town. I’m going to take you to my next favorite place to hang out.” She starts the engine and speeds off down the road. The other club isn’t more than a few minutes away, and before I know it we’re pulling into the parking lot of another night club. We weren’t at the other club long so it’s still early, but I’m beginning to wonder how long Kim plans on keeping me out. We walk straight into the club just as we did at the other one, no waiting in line. Walking into the club it almost looks identical to the one we just left except it has two floors. Everyone here also seems to know Kim. When we walk in the door there’s the bar and some tables off to the side and then a huge dance floor in the center of the room. There are stairs that lead up to a second bar and dance floor. This place is also packed with people dancing and just hanging out.
Fallen Desire Page 6
