“It’ll go as fast as it goes. Remember how long I was in the hospital with my ankle, and I wasn’t even bleeding.”
I sit back down on the bed and remove my boots. “I suppose you’re right, but I’m worried about Mindy too. I’ve never seen her so broken up about anything.”
Tasha shakes her head. “I can’t imagine having to live with the things she and Tara know. It has to be horrifying.”
“What do you think is going on?”
As I ask the question, my phone rings in my hand. When I pick it up, it’s Aidan. “We lost the baby,” he announces somberly.
“Tara was pregnant?” I ask numbly, and then immediately kick myself for the stupid question.
“Yeah, we weren’t going to say anything this time until she was in the safety zone. She had three days to go until she would’ve been through her first trimester.”
“That sucks, man. I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know how to go on from this. My wife is shattered into a million pieces. Right now, my career, the show, and everything else mean absolutely nothing to me. I want to fix things and make them right — but, I can’t. Tell me, what can I do?”
“Go take care of your wife and tell her we all love her. The rest of us will come up with a plan. We’ll deal with Hayden and Pennie. I trust them not to tell the press.”
“I totally forgot they were coming. Geez, life has the world’s worst timing,” Aidan says with frustration pinching his voice.
“Like I said, don’t worry about it. We’ll figure something out. It’s our job now. Let us handle it. Your job is to love your wife like you always do. Aidan, I’m sorry. You would’ve made a helluva dad.”
“I know, and Tara would’ve been an amazing mom. That’s what makes this so hard. Jude, I hate to put this all in your lap, but I’ve got to go. Tara needs me.”
When I hang up the phone, I turn back toward the bed and see Tasha has dissolved into tears.
She looks up at me and asks, “The baby?”
“How did you even know?” I ask as I climb in bed and cuddle her close to me. “I had no idea.”
Tasha grabs some tissue from the bedside table and blows her nose. She swallows hard. “I didn’t know officially, but I knew Tara and Aidan have been trying for years. I tried to figure out what would upset Mindy so much and I put two and two together. You know, Mindy rescued her baby sister, Becca, when she was a baby. Knowing she couldn’t save this one is probably heartbreaking for her.”
I rake my hand through my hair as I admit to Tasha, “I may have promised the impossible. I told Aidan we would take care of the concert arrangements for the day after tomorrow. I have no idea how.”
“It won’t be easy, but we can do it. We’ll just have to call in reinforcements. I learned some valuable lessons working with the Girlfriend Posse. We’ve got this.”
“Seriously? You’re not worried?” I ask, incredulous at her lack of panic.
“Oh, I’m plenty worried, but we don’t have time for fear. All I can say is it’s a really good thing Hayden’s a freakin’ genius on social media. We'll need every one of her skills,” Tasha says as she pulls out her iPad and starts to take notes.
Hayden taps me on the shoulder and hands me a bottle of water. “Tasha says you need to drink this.”
I salute her as I reply, “Yes ma’am. How do the crowds look? Did we get massive cancellations?”
“Not many. Most people were happy when Aidan offered to refund the tickets and still hold a concert.”
“We’ll see how many people still feel the same way after they hear me sing my whole play list,” I joke.
“You are so full of it!” Hayden sticks her tongue out at me. “I told you that you and Tasha are strong enough to do your own show. The new guy, Declan, is funny. He could MC the whole show and not miss a beat. He’s super smart. Did you see his wife? Jade has the coolest tattoos ever. When I grow up, I want to go to her shop. Can you believe they came all the way from Florida to sing for Aidan?”
I pretend to wipe sweat off my forehead as I say, “Yeah, he picked some good people for his label. I can’t tell you how grateful I am that they’re here. Even with as many songs as Tasha and I cover, it would not be enough to fill the play list. I’m worried we'll sound disjointed though. I wish we had more practice time.”
“Are you kidding?” Hayden exclaims. “You all sound like you’ve been playing together as a band for years.”
“La canción fue muy buena,” Juliana adds shyly.
“Gracias. I’m glad you liked it. Do you think I should sing some music in español?”
Julianna nods her head vigorously. “¿Por favor?”
“We had to throw our play list together at the last minute and I have nothing in Spanish prepared with the band. How about I plan to do it for the next concert?”
“Okay by me,” Julianna answers with a grin. “I like all the new stuff — I’m sad for Mr. O’Brien.”
Hayden nods. “Yeah, that’s super sad, but the song Mindy’s singing with Joe Summers gives me goosebumps. Your acoustic guitar solos are haunting, and to put three of them together is amazing. It’s the perfect tribute song.”
“I’m worried about it. Mindy insists we’re ready to do it, but it’s so brand-new I’m not even sure I know all the words. She says we’ll do just fine. She says Tara and Aidan need to hear the message from us. Gone Too Soon is killer on the emotions. I hope everyone can get through it when we’re in front of a live audience. I don’t know how it'll go over. What if people aren’t in the mood to be emotional and reflective? What if they wanted to come for a good old-fashioned country music party? I just don’t know. Putting together a whole play list is hard. I don’t know how Aidan does it all the time. I knew he worked hard, but there are so many moving parts. I’m sure I’m going to miss something important.”
“Hey, Jude, here’s what my vocal teacher teaches me at school. You need to be able to breathe to sing. Stop second-guessing yourself and asking all these questions, and just breathe through it. Everybody at this concert is going to know it’s a last-minute emergency thing. So go out and have fun. Besides, Declan does street concerts all the time. If something goes wrong, he’s gonna know how to fix it. The man has full concerts on the bus — a moving bus. I think he can probably deal with whatever comes up.”
I raise my eyebrow at Hayden. “You’re pretty good at this. You sound like my performance psychologist. Maybe you should think about doing it for a living.”
“I’ll admit, it’s cool to be on this side of putting together a concert. I like doing the pep talks because I know what it’s like to be in your shoes. I’ve done many shows since I was a little kid, so I know exactly what it feels like to be on the stage. Being a psychologist to help people through stage fright and other anxiety issues would be a good career choice for me. Did Tasha tell you I was picked for the All-Star Academic team based on my science score on the state-wide tests?”
“No, she didn’t, but that’s very cool.” I look around the backstage area and don’t see Tasha anywhere. “Speaking of Tasha, do you have any idea where she’s at? Usually she’s fussing all over me to make sure my costume is clean and my hat is on straight.”
Hayden gives me an ear-to-ear grin. “You’ll never guess what she’s doing! This is even better than when I was in the hospital. My dad’s company gave him time off to come on vacation with us so he’s here with my sister! Jayne is going to babysit me tonight — like I need a babysitter … but Mom and Dad are worried because of the cancer. I guess they think I'll get locked out of my hotel room or something. Mom and Dad are going to go out on a real-life date and not just a virtual date. Tasha is helping your sister give my mom a makeover. This nice lady named Stella is giving my mom a bunch of clothes. Now, my mom has all these glamorous clothes to wear on the date. Tasha’s doing her makeup and your sister’s doing her hair. My dad will be so surprised. Jayne is keeping him busy looking around t
he arena and stuff.”
“Whoa! That’s a lot of information. What you’re telling me is you’ve recruited all of my coworkers and family to help send your parents on a date?”
Hayden looks crestfallen at my question. “Well, yeah. I guess it seemed like a good idea at the time, and then it mushroomed into something bigger and bigger and bigger. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause a problem.”
“Slow down Hayden, I never said it was a problem. If everybody is prepared for tonight, I think it’s a righteous idea.”
“Really? You’re not mad at me?” Hayden asks.
I shake my head.
She grins at me. “In that case, can you sing I Love the Way You Love Me by John Michael Montgomery for my mom and dad? I guess they sang it at their wedding and they think it’s all kinds of romantic. I bet they would like it.”
“I’ll see what I can do. I don’t know what it is about the two of you — you and Tasha can seem to talk me into almost anything even if it’s way outside my comfort zone. It’s a little scary.”
“It’s like Tasha always says, never underestimate a smart woman who’s willing to be adventurous,” Hayden replies with a laugh.
As we’re waiting for the warm up band from the local community to finish playing, Tasha has me backed up against the wall in a loose embrace as she squeezes my hands. “What do you think, Cowboy? Did you ever think way back when I first asked you how adventurous you were feeling that you would be the headlining act?”
“Tasha, you’re not helping my stage fright, you know.”
“See, I know that’s not quite true. I saw you taking pictures of the marquee earlier, so I know you’re aware of what’s going on. It isn’t sneaking up on you this time. This time you’ve done the work. You’ve worked with Dr. Powell to desensitize yourself to all your triggers. So, between your prep and the fact that you got Joe and Declan to sing with, I think we’re good.”
“I hope you’re right. I’m worried about Mindy’s number because I barely know the words. You know me, I like to practice stuff a lot.”
“Lucky for you, Joe Summers is a huge Chris Daughtry fan and knows Gone Too Soon like the back of his hand. He already told us if we get lost just lean on him. How do you think I feel? I’m playing the piano on that number. I haven’t consistently played piano since … I don’t know … the eighth grade.”
“I’m sure it’s not that bad, I hear you and Aidan messing around on the piano all the time,” I respond as I give her a reassuring hug.
“Exactly. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. You’re not the same person you were before. You’ve taken your fear and turned it into your own song. It’s your version of Jude’s Song — so let’s go show everyone how it’s done.”
As the applause dies down and the MC introduces us, Tasha and I walk hand-in-hand out to the center of the stage. We take a bow and go to our stools. We pick up our guitars and start to play Imagine. I can’t help but think how symbolic the John Lennon classic is for the journey I’ve taken with Tasha. Never in a million years did I ever imagine I would match the woman I love note for note on a stage in front of an auditorium full of people — completely enjoying myself and secure the in the thought that this is the first day of the rest of the song of my life.
There’s definitely something to be said for being adventurous and open to new experiences.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Originally, this book started out as an idea for an anthology. Unfortunately, that anthology never came together so I decided to write Tasha's story anyway so that I could honor the medical personnel at St. Jude's Hospital and other hospitals like it. St. Jude's Children's Hospital will receive fifteen percent of the net profits from the sale of this book.
As an author when you write a book, the characters which speak to you the loudest often surprise you. Such is the case with Jude's Song. I expected my shy, somewhat awkward male lead to play a bit of a background role in this book. But, that's not the way things turned out.
This is one of the most fascinating aspects of writing. I can go into a project with one plan and come out with something entirely different. That's what makes it so exciting.
I would like to acknowledge some people who have helped me along the way. First, I would like to thank Lys Aguirre for her beautiful custom artwork.
Kathern Watts does an amazing job of keeping me motivated and on task in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds. Thank you for your research skills and your ability to come up with story ideas to get me out of a jam.
To my beta readers and my fellow authors online, you are an invaluable resource. Following your advice has made me a better, stronger author and I appreciate the fact that you have taken the time out of your busy lives to give me feedback.
I'd like to thank my son, Brandon Crawford, who although he is mere months away from graduating from medical school, takes the time to pretend to diagnose and treat my characters to ensure that my stories are plausible. I know you're busy, so thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Kudos to Justin Crawford who makes the best scrambled eggs ever and who knows I have a weakness for deviled eggs. Somehow, he can tell when I need to put down the caffeinated sugar and eat some protein to be able to make it through my day. I love you more than words can say. Thank you so much for taking such good care of me.
My husband, Leonard Crawford, deserves a shout out too. Your steadfast belief in my ability to do anything I want makes it easier for me to believe in myself. I love you. Because of you, I persist.
To my fans, I cannot fully express how grateful I am for you and I can’t adequately thank you for supporting my vision of inclusiveness and diversity in fiction. Diversity matters and every time you choose to support an author who highlights diversity and inclusiveness, we change the world one book at a time.
OTHER WORKS
This a partial list of my current books. For other books and more details, please visit MaryCrawfordAuthor.com
Jeff finally has his life back on track after deferring his dreams so he can be there for his family when they were stuck with a health crisis. As a lifeguard and a law student, he is solely focused on graduating at the top of his class and passing the bar exam so that he can help his mom and sister.
In a blink of an eye, all of that changes when a beautiful redhead rescues a little boy right under Jeff’s nose while he’s lifeguarding and challenges everything he thought he wanted from the world.
Kiera, a former swimmer turned social worker, is a distraction he never expected to encounter. She is smart, outgoing, witty, and vivacious and he is drawn to her more than he could have ever imagined. Unfortunately, both Jeff and Kiera come with strings attached. . .
http://marycrawfordauthor.com/books/hidden-beauty-one/
Carrying unseen scars from her tragic past, Tara Isamu felt destined to live a life of solitude. Her heart just couldn't take any more risks. But a chance meeting with an old friend could open the door to healing and love. Aidan O’Brien misses the joyful dancer Tara once was. He’ll do anything to set her free so her heart can dance. He believes that together, they can conquer the world, if only he can convince her to trust in love again.
http://marycrawfordauthor.com/books/hidden-beauty-two/
Tyler Colton is exactly the irritating, overbearing take charge, livin’ large kind of guy that Heather LaBianca has been dodging her whole life. So, why exactly does her heart beat faster every time Officer Colton enters the room?
Tyler wasn’t exactly looking for happily ever after when his best friend got married and started hanging out with a new group of friends. Sure, the curvy spitfire blonde Italian who had as many jokes as a standup comedian intrigued him, but exasperatingly his natural charms seem largely ineffective for this fiercely independent woman.
When personal tragedy strikes in Heather’s life, Tyler gets a chance to be Heather’s real-life knight-in-shining-armor. Yet even as he’s helping her dreams come true, Tyler realizes that this puzzling enigma of
a woman is quietly helping him exorcise the nightmares of a mission that went horribly wrong. Will he be brave enough to accept her love so that they can move forward together through Joy and Tiers?
http://marycrawfordauthor.com/books/hidden-beauty-three
Madison LaBianca’s whole life as a hard-hitting journalist is dedicated to explaining things and breaking big problems into manageable pieces. What happens when she apparently snoops into the wrong story, her life slowly spirals out of control, and she runs into a man who is just inexplicable?
Trevor Black is a man who is used to having to pick up the pieces of his life and rebuild after his world was shattered by an IED and when his wife was killed after she finally had sense enough to leave the disillusioned, sullen man he had become.
Trevor is working hard to find meaning in the senseless and to find purpose when life has kicked him to the curb. Can helping Madison sort out the pieces of her mixed-up life help Trevor face down his own painful demons and learn to just Love Naturally?
http://marycrawfordauthor.com/books/hidden-beauty-four
Who says love is only for the young? When Denny Ashley lost his wife to brain cancer, he never imagined he’d get another chance to find someone. That was just fine with him. As a long-haul trucker, he was used to being alone. But, a vivacious florist enters his world and Denny hopes he can do love justice.
Gwendolyn has loved and lost before. She’s experienced both heaven and hell when it comes to men. When Denny Ashley starts to turn on the charm, she must decide if she can handle love seasoned by time.
Just as Denny and Gwendolyn are putting their pasts into perspective, Gwendolyn learns she must face something bigger than she has ever encountered. Will Denny be able to face down his own ghosts and be by her side or should she ask him to after all of the blows he’s been dealt?
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