by Judy Baer
“I remember seeing 4:00 a.m. on the clock.”
“Must have been that kind of night. Mr. Matthews looked tired, too. ’Course he had to get up and catch a plane this morning. He left about the time I arrived.”
Hannah was stunned. He hadn’t told her he was leaving again. Of course, there’d been a lot of other things going on last night.
“Mr. Matthews asked me to stay with you while he’s gone,” Irene continued. “He said you probably would like a little time off. I’ll be here all day, so feel free to relax. When you come back, I’ll go get a bag with a nightgown and a change of clothes.”
“How long will he be gone? Did he tell you?”
“Awhile, I think. Three days, maybe? He didn’t sound quite sure. I suppose it depends on how things go business-wise.”
Three days? It might have been three decades. The house didn’t feel right without Ty in it—at least after last night when Ty had held her.
Later, Hannah peeked in on Lily to tell her she was taking the day off.
“Ty wasn’t difficult with you, was he?” Lily asked worriedly. “Don’t pay any attention to him. His bark is much worse than this bite.” Lily studied Hannah. “Oh, dear, he fussed at you, didn’t he? I’ll talk to him about it.”
“He had every right to fuss. I took you out and you got upset and ended up in the hospital. Fine caregiver I am.” Besides, he comforted me far more than he fussed.
“Nonsense. I wanted to go. I let myself get worked up. You did the only sensible thing by making sure I wasn’t ill. He should give you a raise!”
“Well, he’s gone again for a few days, so we’ll just have to put this on the back burner. Irene is here today and I’m going to run errands.” She leaned over and kissed the older woman on her papery-thin cheek. “Be good for her, okay?”
Lily’s eyes danced. “I think I’ll ask her if we can go to the park and ride the bumper cars!”
“Now I’m getting out of here for sure.” Hannah waved goodbye over her shoulder as she left.
* * *
Tired from his second long, tedious day of meetings, Ty decided to eat in the hotel restaurant. He wasn’t willing to tackle any more Los Angeles traffic. His brain and his body were tired. He’d signed his name on the dotted line for a lot of money, but he was accustomed to that. What he wasn’t used to was spending his nights flopping around in his bed like a fish washed up on the beach.
It was Hannah’s fault. She’d been haunting both his waking and sleeping thoughts. What was she doing tonight? Was she taking time off, as he’d hoped she would? She’d felt so remorseful and vulnerable in his arms that it would be impossible to stay upset with her. He had no doubt anymore that she would fight as much as he did for Lily’s well-being.
And Danny. What was he doing? That little boy had really stolen his heart. He was hungry for a male influence. How could Ty be less than flattered that Danny had adopted him for that role? A smile touched the corners of his lips.
Then Ty realized that for the first time in a very long time he felt happy, truly happy. It occurred to him that he’d thought very little about Anita in the days since Hannah had crashed—literally—into his life.
Ty marveled at the thought. What had gotten into him?
Hannah, that’s what.
* * *
Hannah decided that the first thing she should do was go to her house, check for unpaid bills, get online, check her account balance and see what they owed.
She pulled up to the house and parked, taking a few moments to stare at the small two-story house. Not seeing it every day was revealing, she realized. It would be ready for a paint job in a year or two. One of the shutters was crooked and a few shingles had blown off. The gray paint on the porch floor was peeling. It could use a face-lift. It wouldn’t be cheap, but it would certainly help resale value.
She’d always seen her home through rose-colored glasses, but it wasn’t really so different from all the other houses in the neighborhood. Only she knew that Steve had been the one to paint it, to dig and plant the flower beds, to put that ridiculous garden gnome in the front yard. But that was a long time ago. If she were to be honest, her memories no longer fed her as they once did. They’d become habit rather than comfort. Yet, without another relationship in her life, they’d been all she had.
But times had changed. Thanks to Ty Matthews, a part of her that had been dormant since Steve died was waking up. It was uncomfortable to admit it, considering that Ty was her employer, but perhaps she could love again.
As she walked up the sidewalk, she impulsively veered off the path and across the grass. She picked up the ludicrous gnome and carried it back to the car. She dusted it off and wrapped it in the blanket in the trunk and carefully placed it there. That treasure, at least, was a tangible memory.
Hannah opened the front door of the house with her key.
She hadn’t been home much since Trisha and her friends had taken it over. It looked like there’d been a tornado through here; clothes everywhere, half-empty soda cans and shoes. The television, sans sound, was on. Hannah walked through the house. There was even uneaten food in pans on the stove. She opened the refrigerator to see mold on the food in her Tupperware.
Surely she’d raised Trisha better than this. Hannah sank onto a kitchen chair before realizing it was suspiciously sticky.
Wearily she made her way to the rolltop desk in the living room where the bills were kept. She slid it open and stared in dismay. The new bills were there, all right, in a disorganized jumble, scattered among candy wrappers and crumpled receipts. She pulled up a chair and sat down to tackle the mess.
It took a half hour of sorting and organizing to find out that, although Trisha had finally paid last month’s mortgage, there would be nothing left for the next payment, which was due only a week from now. In addition, she was behind on the utilities and had a significant amount on a credit card, including charges for restaurants, coffee shops and boutiques.
Trisha! Where did I go wrong?
She typed in her username and password for the bank, and her account popped onto the screen. She stared at it in disbelief. Something was wrong. There was enough money in the account to pay all the bills except for the balance of the credit card!
She opened the list of deposits and discovered the reason for the flush of money.
Tyler Matthews had paid her in advance for the upcoming month. There it was—two payments of the same amount where one should be. She stared dumbly at the figure. The money would get her up-to-date again. It would give her time to put the brakes on her sister’s irresponsibility. It...it had to be a mistake.
She hadn’t earned the money yet. She needed to give it back.
It was a pleasant, if fleeting, moment, thinking she had a way to undo Trisha’s irresponsibility—but it shouldn’t be at Ty’s expense.
The upstairs wasn’t quite as disorganized and cluttered as the downstairs, Hannah thought gratefully. The girls’ rooms were tidy and the bathroom was reasonably clean. She noticed that the hallway walls were scuffed and could use a coat of paint. The overhead light was the old-fashioned, open kind that collected both flies and dust. It needed a cleaning right now and should probably be replaced. The bathroom tile had seen better days, too. The woodwork should be refinished sometime and the carpet was showing its age.
She was seeing the place with new eyes, Hannah realized. She’d always viewed it as the precious home she and Steven had shared. But it was only a house, one like any other. If she lost it, if that was God’s will, then she would accept that.
She’d been hanging on in her mind, thinking she couldn’t survive without this place that housed the memories of her past, but she was finally seeing that it wasn’t so. This was a house, a thing, a material possession. It was as if God was saying to her, “Depend on Me, not a house, not a job, not an object. Only Me.”
“Only You, Lord,” she murmured aloud. “It’s all gone or going, Lord.”
Suddenly, Ha
nnah’s heart felt lighter, as if the burden of the world had been lifted.
Chapter Seventeen
In the end, Hannah paid off what she could, including the minimum on the credit card. She would tell Ty about the overpayment and that she hadn’t used the money. Maybe she could put the house on the market. If it sold quickly, she might escape foreclosure. She was a woman who had always paid her debts and she didn’t want to stop now. She’d have to start looking for an apartment.
With most of the day still free, she found a cardboard box in the garage and carried it into the attic. She opened a large trunk, one that had once belonged to her parents, and started to sort through it. She found sweaters she wouldn’t wear again, shoes that had never been comfortable, favorite blouses she’d outgrown and even a box of costume jewelry she’d collected over the years. She put it all into the cardboard box and sealed the lid with packing tape. She put that box by the front door, got another from the garage and continued to sort.
By the time Trisha arrived at home, there were seven filled boxes by the door.
She found Hannah in the attic, weeding out Christmas ornaments.
“Han? What are you doing?”
“Getting rid of a few things. You don’t still want this Christmas teddy bear, do you? Some child would enjoy it.”
“My bear? Of course I want it.” Trisha dropped onto her knees on the floor beside Hannah.
“I’ve put some boxes in your room that have your things in them. You can go through those and get rid of what you don’t want. I plan to work here for a day or two. Then I’ll call The Salvation Army to pick them up.”
“Why are you doing this? I don’t want to get rid of anything.”
Hannah turned to face her. “We may be moving from this house, Trisha. I’m not sure, but it is a possibility. I think it would be good to sort through our possessions now, just in case. Besides, we’re not using anything up here. Think of the people who could enjoy what we aren’t using. Some people have nothing and we have so much.”
She skewered Trisha with a gaze. “Like all those things you purchased with the credit card the other day, after you said you wouldn’t use it anymore. You promised.”
“It was just a few things. I thought since you had a job it wouldn’t matter.”
“Little things add up. I paid the minimum balance. You’ll have to come up with the rest.”
Trisha looked dumbfounded.
Hannah heard the firmness and resolve in her own voice. This was the right thing to do. She was sure of it.
“It’s a lot of money!”
“I thought it was just ‘a few things.’”
“It was a few things when you were paying for it, I suppose, but a lot of money when I have to pay for it,” Trisha admitted guiltily. She had the grace to blush.
“Trisha, the fact of the matter is, you didn’t keep your promise. You didn’t pay the bills,” Hannah said bluntly. “We’ve fallen behind. If I can’t pull us out, we may not keep the house if it becomes too big a burden.”
“But it’s our home!” Trisha wailed, as if finally realizing just how serious her sister was.
“We were living close to the bone and—”
“And I wasted the money you had? I didn’t think it was really that bad, Hannah. You have a job.”
“I tried to keep it from you so you wouldn’t worry. I should have been talking to you all along, instead of trying to protect you. You didn’t know exactly how month-to-month our existence has been. You realized some of it, I know, but not the full extent. But what’s happened has happened. We’ll just go forward from here.”
“So are you really serious about getting rid of stuff?”
“It’s just stuff, Trisha. We don’t need it. God is enough.”
* * *
When Ty returned home from his business trip, he got a tongue-lashing the likes of which he hadn’t had since he’d saved up his lunch money to buy an iguana and bring it home to his grandparents. He’d not considered the fact that Lily was paralyzed with fear at the sight of lizards.
He’d figured Lily must really love him after that, because she did allow him to keep Iggie, albeit in the potting shed in the backyard. She’d been delighted, however, when he took Iggie to school and started housing him in the classroom.
This time, however, it was all about Hannah.
“You took Hannah to task because I insisted we go to Clara’s? She took wonderful care of me. I never would have gone to the doctor under my own steam. It seems to me you’re angry with Hannah for doing her job!”
“I realize that, Gram, but you know she really shouldn’t have taken you out when I asked her not to. Besides, it’s all settled. We’re okay.” More than okay.
“And that’s another thing! Who appointed you as my keeper, young man? I’m perfectly able to make my own decisions. My mind is clear!”
“I’m not debating that, Gram.” Arguing with Lily was like trying to tame the wind. He never won. “I assumed you wanted me to watch out for you. Ever since Grandfather died, that’s what I’ve thought you wanted. I know that’s what he wanted.”
Lily softened then. “I believe I did need a keeper back then. Your grandfather and I had a wonderful marriage. He wanted to pamper me and I let him. It was actually him who started it—and I loved being treated with such tenderness.”
She looked suddenly sad and it pierced Ty’s heart.
“But I see now that I continued accepting—and expecting—the same from you. It wasn’t fair, Ty. I’m sorry.”
An apology from his grandmother. It made Ty uneasy. He’d never seen her like this before. Hannah had changed all the dynamics in this house since she’d come.
“Hannah is a gem, Ty. Frankly, she’d make someone a fine granddaughter-in-law. You’ll be long in the tooth pretty soon. Maybe you should think about...”
He threw up his hands. “Gram, please don’t sharpen your matchmaking skills on me.”
Lily stopped talking and smiled serenely. “Oh, darling, don’t be so grim. Lighten up.” She put her hand out to touch his cheek.
Ty didn’t realize until much, much later that he’d failed to extract a promise from Lily not to meddle.
* * *
Hannah went outside and sat on the front steps to wait for Danny to arrive home from school.
She was mentally making plans for them to go to a late-afternoon movie or to the park, whichever Danny preferred, when the bus pulled up. The doors opened and Danny exited.
She opened her mouth to speak but closed it again. Her son’s shoulders were slumped, his footsteps were heavy and he appeared to have been crying. She hurried toward him as the bus pulled away.
“Honey...”
“Go away, Mom.”
Stunned, she stared at him. He’d never spoken to her like that before.
“What’s wrong, Danny? I’m your mother—you can talk to me.”
“You’re a girl. You wouldn’t get it.”
“Try me. What happened today?”
He looked at her and she could see tear tracks on his cheeks—and the beginning of a black eye.
“It’s guy stuff, Mom. Guy stuff.”
“Danny, I insist...”
He relented. “I got picked on by one of the big kids on the bus. He hit me so I shoved him back and I got in trouble. It’s not even fair!” Without another word, he went inside.
Hannah had anticipated that this would happen, that someday Danny would need someone other than her to talk to. How she wished Steve were here right now.
Her stomach hurt. God is enough. He is enough.
She reiterated that over and over, supremely grateful that He was enough because everything else in her life seemed to be falling apart.
Chapter Eighteen
The next day, Danny’s eye was still painfully angry-looking and puffed half shut. He was a silent little shadow around the house, reluctant even to visit with Lily—who would no doubt drill him about what had happened. He watched television
every free moment, his eyes fixed on the screen so intently that Hannah suspected he was using it as a means to escape talking to her.
Finally, it got to be too much. She needed to talk to someone who had been a little boy once and could relate to Danny.
Ty was holed up in his office when Hannah found him. She knocked on the door and entered, almost before he had time to respond to her knock. She straightened her shoulders, thrust her chin forward and marched toward his desk. “Have you seen Danny lately?”
“No. He was in bed when I came home. What’s up with my buddy?”
“Then you haven’t seen his black eye?”
Ty looked surprised.
“It’s a shiner. A big one. He hasn’t even been in to see Lily because I’m sure he’s trying to hide it from her. She’d ask him a million questions.”
“What happened?”
“A boy picked on him on the bus and they got into a fight. He doesn’t want to talk about it. He says it’s because I’m a ‘girl.’ I thought, maybe, if you could, if you thought it would help, since his father is gone—”
“You want me to talk to him man-to-man. To see if I can find out what’s going on?”
Relief made her legs watery. “Yes. I don’t know where else to turn. I certainly haven’t cultivated a lot of men friends who could step in except...you.”
“He probably doesn’t want to upset you with whatever the fight was about.”
“But he’s upsetting me more by not talking. Danny and I have always shared everything.”
“Little boys take a lot of things on their shoulders that they shouldn’t. I should know. I’m sorry you didn’t tell me right away. I’ll talk to him, although I can’t make any guarantees.”
The release she felt was monumental. She didn’t realize, until that moment, how stiffly she’d been holding her entire body. She melted backward into the chair.
“You should have asked me sooner. I had my share of black eyes as a kid. Every one was either very traumatic or a badge of honor. I get it completely.”
“I didn’t want to bother you.”
“No bother. Danny’s a great little boy. If he needs someone to talk to, I’m happy to be the one.” Ty rolled his pen in his fingers. “I thought you knew by now you can come to me with anything. If you can’t get into trouble when Lily ends up in the emergency room, a black eye should be nothing. Besides, I’ve been looking for an excuse to take that boy under my wing.”
