“Perhaps I just want to see a little brown-eyed curly haired little thing bounce around the house, or perhaps I just want to have a reason to name something other than a chicken after you. Perhaps I want more kisses from beautiful girls than you give me!” He said that last part mockingly.
“Well, perhaps you just need to negotiate more to get those kisses you say you want.” She gave him her most impertinent look. “But I might remind you that, unlike you, I never made a promise to kiss you whenever you want. I know when making a promise is wise and when it is unwise. After all, some promises are made to be broken.” Elizabeth felt the baby kick hard. She was due to deliver near the end of May, so she had a few more weeks to go. Somehow, though, she felt differently these last few days, more fatigued.
“Are you ever going to explain why some promises are made to be broken? I think promises are excellent ways to show love and devotion.” This was old familiar ground for them, but Darcy enjoyed this conversation. It reminded him of the first time five years ago.
“Yes, but sometimes promises, certain promises, can get in the way of showing love and devotion.” Elizabeth felt her belly harden in that familiar way. She put her hand on her belly, glad that she was sitting down on the swing. She tried to breathe deeply because the muscles usually relaxed after a minute or so. The doctor had explained that they were preparatory to real labor pains, but not to worry.
“Are you having the tightening again?” he asked, concern etched in his face. She nodded and he placed his hand on her tight abdomen. She was trying to breathe regularly but he could tell she was hurting. He rubbed her belly in circular motions with one hand and tilted her chin up to look at him with the other. “I am right here, just breathe. It will be over soon, they always go away.”
Looking at her dear husband’s eyes relaxed her more than anything. It reminded her of that first night they were intimate. She had glimpses of the desire in his eyes before that night but after they made love, he didn’t hide it from her. She saw that look often, almost every time he looked at her. He had been so careful with her, gentle and kind, and deeply patient and more passionate than she imagined. She never slept in her own bed after that. Not once. At night, he would ask her about her day, and she would tell him. They would discuss his business he had worked on and he would inform her of their finances. They shared everything with each other. The more they talked, the more they wanted to be with each other physically. It seemed to be a precursor to each intimate moment. It made the union mean more when they expressed their love in numerous ways.
Elizabeth was breathing normally again and he saw her sit up straighter. William asked, “Better?” She nodded. “That one was harder than the rest have been. Should we head back home? Have I fatigued you too much?”
“We can wait. The boys are so happy with the paper boat you made them. Just let them play a little longer. Now I believe I was explaining why a wise woman does not make promises that she does not see the benefit in making.”
“And I am assuming the wise woman you speak of is yourself.” He was still kneeling in front of her, looking at her beautiful face. He tried to listen closely because this was closer than she had ever come before to explaining why some promises were meant to be broken.
“Indeed. Promises have a certain power to them. It is like a contract between two people, the one making the promise, and the one it is made to. You are a businessman, what would happen if one of the two wanted out of the contract?” Elizabeth was struck with another episode of tightening and she felt it all the way in her back. She leaned over and tried to regain her relaxed breathing. William started rubbing her abdomen once again, and moved her face to look directly at him. Their eyes locked for the next minute.
Looking in his eyes made her think of Georgiana for some reason; perhaps because they shared their eye color. Georgiana came out into society two years after they were married and found a wonderful man in her first season who cared nothing for her dowry; a welcome change from Wickham. Georgiana’s husband was soft-spoken, kind, and very attentive to her. He was everything Georgiana needed in a husband. Georgiana had that love match that Georgiana had once assumed Elizabeth and William had.
Georgiana too was expecting a child— their first— but her confinement was not expected until September. It had taken longer for her to conceive, but so far she had no problems carrying the child. Elizabeth suspected that her dear sister would do very well. Georgiana had insisted on being present for the two boys’ deliveries and she found herself quite useful in keeping William’s anxiety in check, who had also insisted that he be present for the births. When Elizabeth had begun to labor with her firstborn, William, it was Georgiana who gave the instructions to her older, usually more wise, brother. She gave him little tasks to accomplish, effectively making him feel needed and useful during a very stressful situation. When young Richard was born, Darcy was a little more prepared emotionally to see Elizabeth in such pain and distress but Georgiana again stepped up and told him when he was being helpful or hurtful. Since young Richard’s birth, Georgiana had become more and more interested in caring for ladies in that delicate situation. With her husband’s support, she extended care and nursing to many of their tenants in their childbed. It was uncommon for a gentleman’s daughter to desire to work in any kind of manner but it was what Georgiana enjoyed. Elizabeth remembered asking her about it once. Georgiana had simply smiled and said, “Life has many concertos, I simply want to help the composer create a happy tune. It brings me joy to see their joy fulfilled. It is the one thing that equals mastering a new piano piece for me.”
William could tell the abdomen had relaxed. He was beginning to get worried how far they were from home. He tried to pick up the conversation where they left off. “As a businessman, if one wants out of a contract, it must be agreed upon by both parties.”
Elizabeth sat up straighter. “Exactly my point. If one of the party does not agree to release the other from the contract, or promise in this metaphor’s case, then at least one of the parties is unhappy. If they cannot see eye to eye, then one of them is trapped in a contract that they do not want to be in.”
“So you are saying that making promises, even those honorable ones, might make the one of the parties unhappy?”
“Emphasis on ‘might.’ Not all promises are bad. But even the honorable ones might not be appreciated.”
“Elizabeth, will you just tell me which promise you wanted me not to make?”
“It was not that I did not want you to makeit, I did not want you to keep it. There is a difference.” Her breath caught in her throat as another round of pain started in her back and wrapped around to the front. This one was powerful and intense. William leaned his head down to gaze directly into her eyes.
“Look at me, Elizabeth. We can do this. Slow, deep breaths.” He started rubbing her abdomen in circular motions again with one hand, and with the other, he reached around to her back. He covered her hand with his and pressed gently but firmly against the small of her back. He saw her face wrinkle in pain but she kept eye contact.
His eyes were so serious. She needed to help him relax. They were simply a few preparatory labor pains, nothing to be concerned about. She truly needed Colonel Fitzwilliam’s jokes right about now to bring about the smiling eyes of her husband. Thinking of Richard made her want to laugh. He too had found a lady who was exactly who he needed. She was an heiress who had struggled her first few years in society. Although she had all the claims that wealth gave her, she shocked others who expected different things from a gentleman’s daughter.
When Richard met her and told his first joke, he was amazed that a woman would laugh so hard and so long in the social setting where refinement was expected and demanded from a lady. From that first joke to the latest, Richard was enamored beyond words. His wife would laugh at every joke, no matter how bad it was, and even beg for more. Richard told Darcy once that he finally didn’t want to be funny just so he could appear different and unique.
Now that he had found his perfect match, he wanted to be funny simply to hear the joy his jokes brought to others. No, his wife wasn’t the refined woman society expected but she had a joyful heart and a great ability to laugh: both of which only brought out the best of Richard.
The tension eased in her back and abdomen. She took another relaxing breath and smiled back at William. “Thank you. It helps to look in your eyes.”
Now that the third episode had come and gone he knew it was time to head back home. He stood and gathered the boys who moaned but obediently gathered their belongings. Little William was now four and a half years old and took his role as elder brother very seriously, a trait that he had inherited from his father. Richard, however, was just like his namesake. He was focused when necessary but could be easily distracted the rest of the time. Richard was only two, but Darcy knew that there were definite correlations in personality to the elder Richard. The boys followed closely at the heels of their father who had rejoined Elizabeth by this time. “Come now, let us get you back to the house. You are beginning to worry me with those labor pains.” He offered his arm and Elizabeth stood to take it and they began walking.
Elizabeth called out to Little William and Richard. “Boys, run ahead, you know the way. William, take good care of Richard, do not cross the bridge without holding his hand.”
“Yes, mamma.” Little William said. “Come, Richard, you have to hold my hand.”
The proud parents watched their two oldest run ahead hand in hand. Elizabeth turned to William and said, “They are quite close you know. It will be nice to have another boy but a girl would be nice too.” She looked at William who smiled back at her.
“I would love to see a little Miss Darcy running around. But I am afraid we will just have to see . . .” Just then she stopped walking and doubled over in obvious pain. “Perhaps we will see sooner rather than later.” He knelt down in front of her, touching the creases in her brow with his thumbs. He had seen this before, the baby was coming soon and he was still not in visual distance of Pemberley. “Look at me Elizabeth, do not close your eyes. Breathe. In and out, slowly.” He took his hands and supported her shoulders with one and rubbed her back with the other. He stood looking in her fine eyes and knew he needed to get her back quickly. The frequency was one thing, the intensity only added to the concern. He stared in her eyes, the same eyes that captured his heart all those years ago. The same eyes he went to bed with, and the same eyes he begged to see as soon as he woke. She was truly everything to him. She had given herself to him so fully that first night that he very nearly cried with happiness. Her desire for him was equal to his desire for her and it was the perfect union. Their passion had not died down in the slightest over the last five years, for when they couldn’t be intimate, like after the babies were born, they would hold each other and let their bodies express themselves in other ways. She truly was more beautiful now than ever before. Her eyes told him when the tension released before she stood up again. He needed to make progress on getting home. He decided distraction was a good idea. He began walking and then picked up the conversation where they left off. “So you are comfortable letting me make promises, but keeping them is not always on your list of acceptable behaviors. Is there a method to your rules of which promises one can make, and which ones can be broken? I am cognizant of the fact that you think some promises are made to be broken, so which ones exactly do you want me to break?”
“William, it really was only one promise that I did not fully appreciate. Well, I did at first, but as the weeks went by I found myself somewhat angry at you for being so trustworthy in keeping that promise.” She looked in his confused face and knew she had to be more direct, a lesson she had learned well over the years, thanks to Serafina. “I appreciate now that you did not force me into your bed, but as our relationship grew, you put a lady in very awkward situation where she had to voice her intimate desires in order for you to get it through your thick skull that she desired you.”
“‘She’ meaning you.”
“Yes! Who else? Do you have any other ladies who have voiced their intimate desires for you that I should know about? Has Caroline Bingley come to visit once again with Charles and Jane?” Her last words were clipped short as another burst of pain nearly crippled her. She tried to stay erect, but couldn’t. She bent over grabbing her abdomen. Between breaths she said, “William, I think I had better return home soon; I think I am in travail.”
“I know, but you can do this. I will not leave your side. Look at me, Elizabeth. Focus. Maybe one or two more and we will be home.”
She looked deep into his eyes and saw the compassion she now recognized that he showed on their wedding day. She still couldn’t believe that she misunderstood the anxiety in his eyes in that carriage ride as evidence that he felt forced to marry her. Her mind tried to focus on anything but that dark day. She thought of Caroline Bingley, who still hadn’t married.
Charles had welcomed her into his home permanently, and Jane was, of course, patient and kind with her. Elizabeth had only heard of two times where Jane voiced her frustrations with Caroline. The first was immediately after Jane had her twins, Rebecca and Margaret, and the second after her son, Charles Jr. was born. Apparently Jane’s quiet reserve had a limit, and Caroline’s flippant— arguably snide— comments about the babies looking like Bennets alone had made the mamma bear come out in Jane. Elizabeth was proud of Jane for standing up to Caroline and asking Caroline to take a “holiday” to Bath both times. Jane was a happy mother, and she and Charles were well-fitted to each other. They now had a permanent home only fifteen miles away from Pemberley and Elizabeth saw her favorite sister frequently.
Her thoughts were interrupted by another wave of pain. Once again his eyes got her through another painful episode. She stood up gingerly and put a little more weight on his arm as they walked.
He held tightly to her, trying to suppress the growing fear for her and the baby. If he was this worried he knew she must be at least a little anxious for herself. He kept the pace of whatever she set, but was grateful that she was able to proceed between episodes. He was determined to keep talking in hopes of distracting her. “So you wanted me to break my promise of letting you decide when to become intimate simply because you were too much of a lady to voice your changed opinions of me?”
“Yes, some promises were made to be broken, and you sir, were a little too trustworthy in keeping that promise.” They could see Pemberley now, it was not far, and all downhill from that point on. The baby kicked hard once again and she paused only to feel the fluids start to run down her legs. “Oh no, I think we had better hurry. I just felt my waters break.”
She took one look at Darcy’s eyes and wondered if she should have told him at all. The panic in his eyes was all too evident. She made it about one hundred meters more before a powerful labor pain knocked her to her knees. She groaned quietly. Her vision blurred slightly as the pain intensified. She was somewhat aware of her husband’s voice talking quietly to her, but all she understood was the scared tone in his voice. She gripped tightly to his arm and focused on her breathing. She was feeling too hot and dry in the mouth. It felt like forever until this episode relaxed. She opened her eyes and saw William’s face. She could probably only take one more of those before she reached home.
“Help me up, we need to hurry. This baby is coming fast. Neither of the boys’ labor pains progressed this quickly.” She felt his supporting arm lift her to a standing position. They made quick strides and made it to the gardens when the next one hit.
Darcy looked around wildly and saw Theodore, the gardener, doing some spring trimming. “Theodore! Get help, my wife’s time is upon her!” He watched as Theodore ran towards the house. He turned back to Elizabeth. “Look at me dear, do not close your eyes. That is right, this is the last one before we get to the house. Just breathe nice and slow. Open your eyes, Elizabeth. Focus now, only a little while left and we shall see that beautiful baby and you shall hold it i
n your arms. This is all worth it. Every one of the pains brings us closer to seeing that baby.”
Elizabeth struggled with opening her eyes, but she did it. He was such a proud father. He was so diligent in teaching as well as playing with their sons. Through gritted teeth she groaned out loud involuntarily. This one was worse than all the others. She leaned excessively on him but he held strong under her weight. She tried to focus on how much she loved seeing William play with their sons. She looked into his eyes and recalled the effort it took for him to teach Little William about the chickens. He vowed that his sons would know how to feed chickens. Even through all the pain, she grinned remembering her husband try to teach her oldest how to call to the chickens. It was always so funny to see that awkward smile as he yelled in his falsetto voice, “Here chick-chick-chick!” It was even funnier to hear her son try to do it.
“Elizabeth? Are you well? You look like you are trying to smile but it is coming out more like a grimace.” She nodded, but then took a deep breath and looked to be concentrating again. “Last one, Elizabeth, then we will get you inside. You are so strong, it is one of the things I love about you. I love that you could walk three hours after hitting your head. I love that you are doing it now. I love everything about you. You can do this. I am here and I am not leaving you. You are everything to me, Elizabeth.” He saw her take another deep breath and her body relaxed once again. It was over for the time being. He gave her a moment to catch her breath. “Let us get moving. Elizabeth, can you go further?”
“Is it negotiable?” she teased with what little energy she had left. She was nearing her ability to stand, let alone walk, but she pressed forward.
“I believe negotiation is what got us in this situation.”
She smiled, but leaned on William’s arm a little more. She was watching the ground, making sure to take careful but hurried steps. She soon heard Mrs. Reynolds and a few other servants coming. She glanced up and saw Serafina, and felt a sudden wave of relief. She had made it. Serafina took her other arm and gingerly assisted her towards the house. They made it just inside, but going up those few steps at the entrance provoked another labor pain. Her knees buckled under her, but William caught her at her ribs and held her close. She hardly moved with the fall he was so near to her.
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