The Other Half of my Soul addm-1

by Gareth D. Williams

  “There is still a great deal of information to be gained from her.”

  “I don’t care. From now on, you will only question her while I am present. She will be kept under full Security watch aboard the Babylon. Her presence here is causing too many distractions.”

  “I see. On whose authority are you doing this?”

  “My own, which is all the authority I need.”

  “I see. And do you feel this is a… suitable use of your authority?”

  “Yes, I do.”

  “Well, then, Captain. She’s all yours. I just hope that you are not mistaken in your beliefs. She is still valuable to us.”

  “More valuable to me.” Delenn looked up and met his gaze for the first time since he had entered. He smiled, and moved to her side, extending his hand. She took it, and rose. Under Welles’ slow, cynical eye, she moved from the chair, half limping, half carried, resting on Sheridan’s strength.

  As the door to the room closed behind her, and she stepped into the corridor, Delenn had never felt so free.

  She smiled.

  Part IV: To Hear the Machine

  Chapter 1

  It was a time that would later be called the dawn of the third age of mankind; a time when it seemed unlikely that mankind would even survive this age. Their homeworld was destroyed, their people decimated and scattered, existing by the most fragile of handholds and through the strength of one ship and the courage of one man. The ship was the Babylon, and the man was Captain John Sheridan.

  But these were dark days for all, not just humanity. The Minbari’s quest to complete what they had begun over fourteen years before was turning them away from their ancient prophecies and customs, and on to a headlong rush into the abyss. My own people were so consumed with war and hatred that they did not see what could be found directly at their feet, and the Centauri… well, they never change.

  But it was humanity which was falling the fastest and the farthest. Born out of a combination of terror and hatred, they had made an alliance with a Darkness rising, not knowing and not caring what they would have to pay.

  But, as my uncle once told me, there is always hope. The denial of hope is the denial of life, and the loss of hope is the loss of a reason to live.

  But then, as another wise man once said, a man without hope is a man without fear.

  The personal diary of Ha’Cormar’ah G’Kar, leader of the Narn Rangers.

  * * * * * * *

  He would never be able to explain the sensations he gained from his contact with the Great Machine. Words could not put it across; it could not be described in terms of sight or sound or taste or colour. It simply was. It was as though he were a part of the universe, very aware of his own, minute importance to the greater scheme of things, yet instead of being in despair at his own insignificance, he was elated at the grandeur of which he was a very small part.

  Yet now that elation was despair, for Varn was dying, and if he died, then the Machine died with him, the planet died with him, his people, their legacy and everything that they were died with him.

  There must be hope for the future, and there could be no hope for the future without memory of the past. The Machine would provide both. If one survived to occupy it.

  Varn had seen the stars, he had scanned throughout the galaxy, seen the beings that walked through the sands at Sigma 957, seen the ancient force returning to power at Z’ha’dum, seen the Vorlons readying themselves, seen the Minbari and the humans, and the Narns and the Centauri, all fighting their own little wars, but preludes to the Great War. A Darkness was coming. Varn had never claimed to be a champion of Light, but the one who came after him would have to be.

  But Varn was dying, and he could not reach out far enough or long enough to touch those he needed, and so he had sent out his servants, the custodians of the Machine. He had sent out ten, but only two still lived, and only those two had reached those they were sent for. One was returning now, but the other… the other had made a detour. Varn did not understand. Zathras had known the importance of his mission. G’Kar had been made to understand and had agreed to come, so why had they altered their path?

  And why were they heading for a world that had welcomed the Darkness into its own heart?

  * * * * * * *

  Captain John Sheridan was trying very hard not to run into anybody. Hiding was a skill he had taken great care to learn – in a galaxy where every Minbari in existence wanted him dead, it was a useful survival trait – but he had managed to use it when necessary in his own corridors of power. The Main Dome of Proxima 3, a place that was – in theory – his home. In practice, his home was the EAS Babylon, last heavy class warship to survive the war with the Minbari, and last, best hope for humanity. The Babylon seemed almost a part of him by now, after he had commanded it for over fourteen years, since the beginning of the war, and he was used to its little quirks and idiosyncrasies. Oh, all his crew had to do to find him was send a message to his link, but that wasn’t the point. He could hide if he wanted to. Here… here was a very different matter. He was not in charge here. Here, on Proxima 3, he was answerable to the Resistance Government, and here he couldn’t hide from them, although he tried as often as he could.

  It wasn’t just the Resistance Government he was hiding from, however. He was also hiding from his wife Anna. If he was lucky, she was simply very drunk by now, and willing to insult him and everything he held dear, including their dead daughter, Elizabeth. If he was unlucky, she was sober and quiet and loving and nearly the woman he had married. Those brief periods of normality hurt worse than any barbed remark or drunken argument, because they were reminders of times he could never have back.

  He was also hiding from Marcus. The man had sworn himself as his personal bodyguard. Everyone else around Sheridan seemed to take this as fact and gave Marcus the same accord they gave all the other members of his command staff. It was annoying and downright infuriating sometimes, but Marcus at least meant well. Sheridan understood that Marcus was, at the moment, being cornered by Miss Alexander in yet another stage of her relentless pursuit of him. He silently wished her every luck, and acknowledged that she would need it. He had seen corpses less stiff than Marcus.

  He was also hiding from Susan, a meeting he definitely did not want. Ever since his return from the Narn homeworld a few months ago, he had been experiencing grave doubts about Susan’s mysterious friends, accepted by the Resistance Government as allies against the Minbari. Delenn had been trying to warn him about them ever since he had captured her from the Minbari homeworld. Well, fair enough. Ivanova had said that the Minbari and the… others – he would have to find a decent name for them soon – were ancient enemies, and it did make sense that the Minbari wouldn’t want what was left of the Earth Alliance having any allies at all.

  But then he had met G’Kar. Greatest hero of the Narn / Centauri War that had ended in bloody stalemate a few years ago. G’Kar had disappeared from view immediately after the war. Sheridan had met him as a preacher, ostensibly preaching a creed of his religion to fellow Narns while secretly running an underground network of agents whose purpose seemed to be preparing for the return of Susan’s friends. G’Kar’s words – and something else, the vision he could barely remember except in his dreams – had reached something within Sheridan, something he wasn’t sure still existed.

  And someone else had managed to touch him as well. Satai Delenn, brought here in chains forged by Sheridan himself, questioned and tortured, mentally and physically, she had coaxed from him the first act of kindness he had ever displayed to a Minbari. Food, drink and sleep. He had listened to her, spoken to her, and eventually had her removed from her cell and given a secure room aboard the Babylon. He had caught seven kinds of hell from the Resistance Government for that, but they all knew that there was nothing they could do to him. He was Captain John Sheridan after all, greatest hope of the human race. What could they do to him – demotion? Court-martial? No, he was safe enough. From the Resistance Govern
ment as well, although if what Satai Delenn and G’Kar were saying was true, then no one would be safe soon.

  So, and this was the sixty-four thousand dollar question: why wasn’t he broaching these concerns to the Resistance Government themselves instead of keeping them quiet? Answer: they wouldn’t listen to him, and he wasn’t even sure if he should. He had seen the work of Ivanova’s friends at first hand. Two Minbari cruisers destroyed in a matter of seconds. Power like that was worthy of respect, and for the moment at least, they were the allies of humanity. If they could be kept that way, all well and good. If not… then he would be ready for them.

  He’d have to be.

  Thinking all this over had taken time and effort, and so he was taking care to hide. Delenn was on board the Babylon, Marcus was being hunted down by Miss Alexander, the Resistance Government was meeting with Susan over matters of deployments, treaties and so on, Anna was anywhere but not here, and Commander Corwin – his XO – was holding Starfury exercises with Lieutenants Franklin and Connally.

  All was quiet, but he knew that things would not stay that way. He was hiding, waiting and preparing himself for the inevitable explosion.

  Sure enough, his link activated. It was Corwin. David knew – as did everyone on the Babylon – that when Sheridan went to ground, nothing bar the sudden arrival of twenty Minbari cruisers should disturb him.

  This wasn’t the arrival of twenty Minbari cruisers. This was worse.

  * * * * * * *

  “I must say,” Sheridan was saying, “I’m surprised you didn’t give us any notification you were coming. Security here is as tight as ever. If I’d known in advance…”

  “That would not be possible,” his guest said. “There are certain… individuals here who would not be receptive to my presence. We hitched a lift aboard a cargo ship whose captain is a part of my network. He asked no questions, and I sent a message to Commander Corwin, arranging for us to be brought on board.”

  Sheridan sat back and looked at his guest. G’Kar had apparently recovered from the injuries that had so nearly killed him a few months back. He was moving like a perfectly fit man, but there was something in his eyes. A steely determination that had always been there, and a quiet terror that had not.

  “Who is us?” he asked. “You didn’t bring Neroon here?” He still found it hard to accept that one of G’Kar’s most trusted agents was a Minbari.

  “Oh no, that would… not be wise. He and Ta’Lon are still working on the rebuilding of our fortifications in the G’Khorazhar Mountains. I have brought along a most… interesting companion.”

  “Oh,” said a voice Sheridan had never heard before. “Is being very honoured to meet you, yes. Very honoured.” And then a strange clicking noise. “A great destiny lies before you, yes. Click, click A great destiny indeed.”

  Sheridan looked at his second, who had brought a mysterious hairy humanoid into the ready room aboard the Babylon. Corwin shrugged, “Don’t ask,” he said. “If he’s here, at least we know where he is.”

  Sheridan turned to the newcomer. “And you are?”

  “I is being called Zathras, oh yes, and I is being come with Holy One G’Kar here to be meeting you, Captain Sheridan. You must come with us, oh yes. Click, click”

  “I…” Sheridan looked at G’Kar, who gave the Narn equivalent of a shrug.

  “I do not know much either, Captain, I am afraid. He came to me during my recovery, and spoke of a place where I was urgently needed. He did not say where, or why, but he knows about the Great War that is coming and he knows about the Enemy, and he knows about you. He would not tell me why or how he knows these things, and I did not ask.”

  “Well, I will. Look… Zathras? I can’t just drop everything and leave here on your say-so. I’ll have to justify something like this to the Resistance Government, and they might be interested to know where I’m going.”

  “Oh no no no no. Must not tell them, no. Click They is being corrupted by Darkness, yes. Click Very bad, very sad, very bad.”

  Sheridan placed his hand on his forehead. “I’m not following this, G’Kar. You actually trust him?”

  “Yes.”

  “Mind telling me why?”

  “Your destiny lies with us,” Zathras said. “Many lives, yes. You must see, you must learn, must understand. You have a destiny, a great destiny. More than leader, more than Starkiller, more than messiah. Yes yes, must come, to understand.”

  “What destiny?”

  “Ah no, Zathras is being very sorry, but Zathras not being allowed to tell you that. Varn give Zathras list of things not to say, and that was… ah, no, Zathras not being allowed to say what Zathras not being allowed to say. You not trick Zathras. Zathras knows what not to say, and Zathras is not being saying it. You must come. That is all.”

  “Come where? Or aren’t you allowed to tell me that either?”

  “Oh no, Zathras being allowed to tell you that. You must come home – see Varn. Yes, Varn wants to see you. Well no, Varn not want to see you, but Varn need to see you. Varn not understand, Varn not know. Varn is being old, and dying. Very sad.”

  “I suppose there’s no point asking you who this Varn is?” Zathras shook his head. “Or where your home is?”

  “Oo. Please be waiting a minute. Zathras be thinking. Yes, Zathras is being permitted to being telling you that. Zathras tell you where home is.”

  “Just as well,” Corwin muttered. “Or how would we get there?”

  “Home is… known to you as third planet of Epsilon Eridani. Yes, that be home. Called… Euphrates. Yes. Zathras call it home, but you call it Euphrates. Zathras think home is better name, but what does Zathras know?”

  Sheridan and Corwin shared a glance. “I see. G’Kar, can we have a word alone for a minute here, please?” G’Kar nodded, and Corwin led Zathras away, a looked of pained exasperation on his face. When they were gone, Sheridan turned to G’Kar.

  “What the hell kind of story is that? Epsilon Eridani Three is deserted, and I know that for a fact. I did a survey of that whole area three years ago, looking for potential sites of the Babylon Project – mission four. We scanned the whole area, and there was nothing even faintly unusual. What are you trying to pull on us here?”

  “Scans can be obstructed, Captain. You must trust me on this matter.”

  “Aw hell! Look, I need to think about this for a while. I’ve still got no idea what I’m doing here, and I think the Resistance Government is going to want me to run a mission out on the Rim for a while. I’ll need to get back to you on this.”

  “Of course, Captain, but do not take too long. The road is running away from us faster all the time. Unless we choose our own path on the road, we will be forced where it takes us, which is seldom where we would like to go.” He pulled something from his pocket. It was a data crystal. “I would appreciate it if you would give this to Delenn. It is a message recorded for her by Neroon. You may watch it first yourself to ensure it contains nothing dangerous to you. Neroon accepted that that might be a possibility.”

  “That won’t be necessary,” Sheridan said softly. Suddenly, his link bleeped.

  “There’s a Gold Channel message coming from President Crane, sir,” Corwin said.

  “I’ll take it in here,” Sheridan replied. “I don’t think it would be a good idea for her to know you’re here, G’Kar. How many people know so far?”

  “Just yourself, Commander Corwin and a few security guards. Commander Corwin assured me that they could be trusted.”

  “Good. David will show you somewhere to rest tonight while I think this whole thing over. You never know, the Resistance Government may just want me to fall on my sword or something.”

  “Of course, Captain. G’Quan be with you.” G’Kar thumped his fists on his chest and bowed his head as he left the room.

  Sighing softly, Sheridan turned to the commscreen and activated it. He clasped his hands behind his back and tried to present the image of a dignified, stern Captain. Appearances coun
ted for a lot with the Resistance Government.

  President Crane’s face appeared on the commscreen. “Captain Sheridan, we wish to see you before us immediately. Do not tarry.” And then the screen went blank.

  Sheridan groaned. If it wasn’t one thing, it was another.

  * * * * * * *

  “I hope this reaches you, Delenn. G’Kar has said that he will do all he can to ensure that it does. He is a good man, a very good man. Better than Sinoval, perhaps better than Branmer. I told you before that I felt my destiny lay with G’Kar. Now I am certain of it.

  “I cannot tell you what I have been doing, or where I am. This message may be intercepted. I… simply wanted to give you some sort of comfort, Delenn. If there were any way I could help you, I swear before Valen, I would. Sheridan will try to help you, I think. He is an honourable man, and can be trusted.

  “I wish that there were something I could say to you, Delenn… anything that would make this easier. I would only remind you of the Shryne. I do not need to tell you to be strong, but I hope you can be at peace. I am.

  “Valen walk with you, Delenn, and know that you are always in my thoughts. Always, and forever.”

  The message ended, and Delenn stared at the silent viewscreen. There was a faint, tragic smile on her face.

  * * * * * * *

  “The planet’s name is Euphrates,” General Hague was saying. “The third planet of the Epsilon Eridani system. I believe you’ve been there before.”

  Sheridan looked at Hague, managing to keep his expression carefully neutral. Hague was standing in front of the half circular table where sat the Resistance Government. Sheridan could practically feel the dark eyes of Vice President Clark boring into him, but he ignored them. Clark had been the biggest proponent of having Sheridan punished over his actions concerning Delenn, but he had been voted down. Sheridan was indispensable, and everyone knew it.