The Other Half of my Soul addm-1

by Gareth D. Williams

  “I have… told you before about the Ancient Enemy that we believe is arising,” she said hesitantly. Babylon 4 was looming up in front of their shuttle. She looked up at it, and then down again. Sheridan didn’t reply, and so she continued.

  “There was a Great War against the Enemy a thousand years ago. I do… not know how much you have been told about it by your… friend?”

  “A little,” he replied tersely. “Not nearly enough, but a little.”

  “Ah.” She continued. “We fought in that war, alongside the Vorlons and a few other races. We drove the Enemy from their homeworld of Z’ha’dum and thought we had defeated them. There are a few records remaining of that war. Some of them show this very station, Captain. It was used as a base of operations during the final days of that war… one thousand years ago.”

  She had expected disbelief, denial, even anger. She received only a terse grunt. She looked at him, but he was still focussed on the controls.

  “You believe me?” she asked.

  “Satai, after today, I don’t think anything could surprise me.”

  “I… suppose not.”

  “Now what about that title? Sah-vahlan?”

  “Zha’valen,” she said, correcting his pronunciation. “It means… it means…” She sucked in another deep breath of air. “It means outcast. It means that I am… that I am ’a shadow to Valen’.”

  “Not a title you have now?”

  “I… do not think so, unless it has been given me in my absence.”

  “I see. Well, what’s one more mystery. Hopefully when we find the person who sent that message, we’ll clear this up. And there’s the docking bays. Looks like they made a few modifications to the plans after all. Either that, or my memory’s getting faulty.”

  Delenn was silent as Sheridan surrendered the shuttle’s controls to the station’s docking systems – with considerable reluctance, she noticed – and she instead looked up at the station as it swallowed the shuttle.

  There was something she had not said. The pieces were starting to fall together in her mind. The space station that had saved her people had been designed and – presumably – built by humans. So what did that make the one who had given it to her people? Did that prove her suspicions?

  And how could she expect Sheridan to trust her when she did not trust him?

  “Captain,” she said softly. “There is something else I have not told you.” He looked at her. “This station was given to my people and those who were allied to us to fight the Enemy. The one who gave it to us was called Valen.”

  “Are you expecting to find Valen here on Babylon Four?”

  “I… hope to find… someone.”

  “You mean a human. Well, so do I. I’ll think about what you’ve told me, Satai Delenn. If we do find this Valen then… we’ll see.”

  She smiled slightly. She had tried to tell him of her beliefs about human and Minbari souls once before. He had either not believed or not cared to listen. Perhaps he was beginning to listen, and beginning to believe.

  As they left their docked shuttle, she felt the first surge of hope she had felt since her capture four months ago.

  * * * * * * *

  “Should we tell the Captain, sir?”

  Corwin shot a glance at Security Officer Zack Allan – Chief of Security aboard the Babylon – and then back at the other figure.

  “We can’t,” he replied. “Communications are impossible through that tachyon field. I don’t know what they’re doing to it, but it’s getting less and less stable all the time.”

  “Any chance you can get that Narn on the planet to give us a hand, do you think, sir?”

  Corwin started. G’Kar – greatest hero of the Narn / Centauri War – had taken custody of Epsilon 3 only a few hours ago, and the massive technological resources with it. Captain Sheridan had given him a run down of most of what had happened, but he hadn’t known who else knew.

  “How did you know about that?” he asked.

  “Are you kidding, sir? We all saw him just appear in front of us and give his spiel. Weird, it was.”

  “Yeah, what isn’t these days?” Great, Corwin thought. The Captain’s going to have enough trouble justifying his failure to the Resistance Government without having to tell the truth about it.

  “I don’t think that would be a good idea,” he began, when Zack interrupted him.

  “It’s moving!”

  The figure before them was indeed moving, and Corwin joined Zack in drawing his PPG. The figure before them was humanoid, but that was all he could tell immediately. It had been found floating in space just off the station by a mechbot. A quick scan had confirmed that the figure was alive – presumably kept so by its blue space suit – but Zack had suggested caution, and Corwin had agreed. There was no reason to assume it was hostile, but then there was no reason to assume it wasn’t either.

  “Who are you?” he asked. It made no reply. “Do you understand me?”

  The figure staggered forward, making for Corwin who, out of a feeling he couldn’t quite identify, lowered his weapon.

  Then the figure saw Zack, and lunged towards him. It seemed to reach out – in anger, or in friendship? – and there was a burst of what Corwin could only call lightning and Zack was thrown backwards.

  The figure turned to Corwin…

  …and vanished.

  * * * * * * *

  “Do you, John Sheridan, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife…?”

  Sheridan blinked. This was impossible. He looked up and met Anna’s eyes. There was laughter in them, a joyful, happy laughter he had not seen in her since Elizabeth had died.

  “I do,” he whispered. “I do,” he repeated, louder.

  Anna had insisted on a traditional wedding, in spite of the lack of appropriate venues. The chapel on the Babylon had seemed the best bet, and Reverend Dexter had been dragged up from Proxima 3 to officiate. Anna had insisted on everything being as traditional as she could make it. Her father had died on Earth, so Dr. Chang gave her away. Sheridan had always planned on asking Jack Maynard to be his best man, but he had not survived the brief counterattack over Mars, and so General Hague was performing the honours. There was no expensive ring, and very few guests, but it was the happiest day of both their lives. Even amidst all this death, some love could prevail.

  “I do,” Anna said. She was smiling. There had been no white dress either. The best they could manage was a light blue. The way their lives had gone since then, funereal black would probably have been more appropriate. Sheridan, still in a daze, looked around at the crowd. Half of them were dead now.

  “Pay attention,” Anna hissed. That brought a giggle of laughter from everyone and he found himself blushing.

  “You may now kiss the bride,” Reverend Dexter said.

  He was still trying to focus his attention when she threw her arms around his neck and treated him to the longest, happiest, most perfect kiss he had ever had in his life.

  He remembered that day as if it had been yesterday. It had, in fact, been nine years ago, just after the Resistance Government had been established on Proxima 3. Anna had survived the war, but so many others hadn’t, including the one who had introduced the two of them in the first place – John’s sister Elizabeth. Her matchmaking had been the subject of a long-running joke between the three of them. Sheridan had offered to tithe their first-born daughter to Elizabeth in payment. He had had to settle for naming her after his sister instead.

  He blinked, and his eyes opened. He reeled, and almost fell against Satai Delenn. She caught him and helped him rest against the wall.

  “What happened?” she asked.

  “I… I don’t know. I was reliving my wedding. It’s like I was there, but it was nine years ago. I don’t understand.”

  “It’s been happening to all of us,” said a new voice. Sheridan started and looked up. “Flashes, forwards or back.” The voice was coming from a Minbari, but one who… who seemed more than just a lit
tle human. He looked again, closer this time. The figure was definitely Minbari, but there was something in his gait, in his stance, that marked him out as human.

  “Greetings, both of you. I welcome you to this place.” Sheridan heard Delenn give a soft gasp. “I am called Valen.”

  He shifted his gaze elsewhere, and he did find something familiar.

  “Zathras! But… what are you doing here? You stayed on the planet with G’Kar!”

  “Ah, no, Captain. Zathras is being very sorry, but Zathras last seen you many years ago, yes. Time has passed, yes. Much time. In your years…”

  “Zathras!” snapped Valen.

  “Ah yes, Zathras know, Zathras not supposed to talk about time. Zathras not supposed to talk about anything. Zathras supposed to shut up. Zathras is being shutting up. There. Zathras is shut up.”

  “I thank you both for coming,” Valen repeated. “We need your help, but first you have to understand. You have to…”

  Sheridan blinked.

  “Anna! No!”

  “John, what are you doing?” He was holding a PPG, as was she. There was a light in her eyes once again, but he didn’t remember this. When had this happened?

  “Anna, what’s happening?”

  What had Valen said? Flashes – forwards or back?

  His arm jerked upwards, and he fired. He could see the light die in her eyes as her body was thrown backwards and by the time she hit the floor he knew she was quite dead. Behind him, somebody moved and was about to speak.

  He blinked again, and staggered forward. There was no sign of either Valen or Delenn. He felt so weak… so helpless.

  “Anna. Oh, God help me, Anna!”

  He hadn’t realised he had spoken aloud, until he heard footsteps and rested himself back against the wall, to look at the person who was before him.

  “Oh poor Johnny,” said a mocking voice. “Your Minbari whore’s finally abandoned you, has she?”

  “Susan,” he breathed.

  And behind her, the very shadows moved.

  * * * * * * *

  “We cannot just leave him,” Delenn was saying. They were running from the attack. She had no idea how it had happened. Valen had welcomed them, and she had been on the verge of kneeling to him, when Sheridan had staggered, and there had been the sound of PPG fire, and the chattering of Shadows. Valen had grabbed her hand, and they were fleeing.

  “They won’t kill him,” he said. “It’s me they want – me and you. You have to understand, Delenn. There’s a lot I have to show you, and not much time. You told me about this, and now I have to do what you said I did. I have to…”

  Delenn blinked.

  It was cold, that was her first sensation. So very cold. She wrapped her black robe tighter around herself, and stared at the small object in front of her. It was a block of grey stone, partially embedded in the ground at her feet. There were letters inscribed on it.

  She knelt down and touched it gently, reading what it said. The words were written twice, in English and Adronato, but the meaning was the same.

  JOHN SHERIDAN

  RESTING

  IN A PLACE WHERE NO SHADOWS FALL

  Chapter 2

  It was cold.

  Delenn wrapped her black robe even tighter around herself. This seemed impossible. She had been on the space station – the one Captain Sheridan had called Babylon 4, the one that was destined to be used in the last Great War against the Shadows, the one that had been given to the then Army of Light by Valen himself, the one that contained Valen himself, who had once been human – when she suddenly found herself here.

  She looked at the piece of stone before her again and read the simple words inscribed on it in both English and Adronato.

  JOHN SHERIDAN

  RESTING

  IN A PLACE WHERE NO SHADOWS FALL

  Slowly she raised her head and looked around. This whole place seemed so familiar, but she could not quite place it. She saw a dull sky, a barren horizon, the hint of mountains not far away… and a city. Or at least what had once been a city.

  Her eyes widened. “No,” she breathed. This was impossible. She knew that city. It was Yedor, capital city of the Minbari Federation. Her home. It was… reduced to rubble, flattened and wrecked and torn. This… this wasteland was Minbar, but that was impossible. Minbar was never like this, never so cold.

  She pulled the robe even tighter and stumbled away from the grave. She recognised this spot now. Her father had brought her here as a child. They would eat here and look into the lake just over the ridge, the lake that caught the lights and colours of the crystalline deposits and shone beautifully. The lake that…

  …was dull and dirty and clogged with dust and mud. She staggered towards the spot where it lapped against the shore and knelt down, scooping up a part of the water in her hands. It was dirty and grey. It did not shine any more. Nothing did. And then she caught a hint of her reflection. It was muddy and unclear, but it was her reflection, except that it was not her reflection. “Valen’s Name,” she breathed, understanding at last.

  She blinked, and she was back on Babylon 4, in the company of the man in whose name she had sworn. She was resting against the wall of a corridor, and he was beside her.

  “It was bad, wasn’t it?” he said. “I’ve never seen anyone down for that long.”

  She raised her hands to her forehead and felt carefully around the edges of her bone crest. She was normal. “Was… was that an image of what will happen, or of what might happen?”

  “We don’t know,” he replied. “We’ve all had images of the past, images that were surprisingly accurate. Of the future… none of us can be certain.”

  “I saw… I saw…”

  “Don’t tell me, Delenn. I must not know. It is not for me to know.”

  You know my name,“ she suddenly breathed in wonder. ”You… know my name.“

  “Of course,” he replied smiling. “And you know mine. Or you will. We brought this station from your future, to take it a thousand years into the past. I wrote myself a letter then, telling myself of what will happen. I wrote you a letter as well, although I don’t know whether you ever received it. I came here for your help, Delenn – yours and Sheridan’s. Now I think I may have come here to help you. Do you know what you have to do?”

  “Yes,” she breathed. “Yes. I saw it… but… will my actions bring about what I have seen?”

  “I don’t know, Delenn. As I told you once, my place lies with the future no longer, but with the past. That is, of course, if we ever make it there.”

  “What has happened?”

  “We were ready to launch this station when the Enemy attacked. It was a hard battle, but we managed to get away. I… don’t know what happened to my friends who were defending us. Some of the Enemy made it aboard and have been trying to kill me. If they do, then the past will be doomed and so will all of us. I came here hoping to gain your help, but the Enemy have proven to be too strong for us.”

  “Then it was you who sent the message?”

  He blinked. “What message? No, we were unable to get into the main control centre.”

  “We received a message asking for myself and Captain Sheridan to come over here, and to come alone. It must have been a trap… They have him!”

  “Delenn, Sheridan is a… clever man. I am sure he…”

  “No. I know it. They have him. The Enemy has him!”

  * * * * * * *

  “Susan…” Sheridan rasped. He could feel his ribs grating at his lungs. His strenuous fight with Kalain had tired him and now all of this, a stray PPG blast, his two visions of Anna – one of marrying her, the other of killing her – he was feeling sick and disorientated and tired.

  And he was staring at a woman he knew well, or thought he did, but Susan Ivanova had never looked like this.

  Her right eye was simply a mass of scar tissue, scratched and torn, an old wound by the look of it. There were deep scars riven down the right side of her face, tearing her mo
uth and twisting it into a permanent sneer. Her hair was cut very short and there were patches on her skull where it was not growing at all.

  “Susan… what happened to you?”

  She seemed surprised. “You don’t… of course you don’t. What year is this?”

  What year? Sheridan blinked and tried to rise to his feet. He failed and fell back. Susan merely watched him, the sole emotion on her face one of curiosity. Year? What year was it?

  “Fifty-eight,” he rasped. “Twenty-two fifty-eight.”

  “Of course,” she breathed. “The Epsilon Three mission. I don’t remember hearing about this, but it looks like your mastery with the vague reports came to the fore again… That means… that means we didn’t win, but…” There was a buzzing noise that grated into Sheridan’s ears and he threw up his hands to cover them.

  “No!” Susan snapped. “We will win. It’ll be simple enough. We’ll use him as bait. All we have to do is kill one man, and then it’ll all be over, before it ever began. I know what I’m doing, trust me.”

  Was she talking to him or to someone else? He tried to listen, but he couldn’t quite hear what she was saying. This didn’t make sense. None of this made sense.

  Anna…

  His head slumped and he fell into unconsciousness.

  * * * * * * *

  “Any news on the others?” Sinclair asked. He was resting against the wall. His new biology was still causing him problems. He hadn’t been a Minbari long enough to adapt properly. Well, he hadn’t been a Minbari physically long enough. Spiritually, he’d always been Minbari.

  “No, no,” Zathras replied. “No word. Could be alive, could be dead, could be worse. The Enemy is here.”

  “I wish… I wish…”

  “If wishes were fishes, there would be no room in the sea for water,” Zathras said, and smiled. “That human saying. Zathras learn that saying. Is good saying. There no water on Zathras’ home, though. No fishes either, but is still good saying.”