by Averi Hope
She wrapped her arms around herself, gathering the strength for one more battle that day. One she couldn’t afford to lose.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
How long had Caleb been staring at her door? His finger hovered over the button, but still, he couldn’t bring himself to push it. You’re a warrior! Are you really afraid of a little human female?
His finger still wouldn’t push the button. He contemplated turning around and leaving. If he felt she loved him, did he really need her to confirm it? An image blinked into his mind, of living life like his father. He could not be tied to a weak female who would not be able to handle being with a Keltair male. Imagine how much happier Father would have been if he’d had a woman to stand by his side. If he hadn’t spent so much time worrying about her—and me?
“No,” he whispered to himself. Erin isn’t like that. She’s the strongest woman you’ve ever met.
He pushed the button.
A moment later, the doors were sliding open onto Erin’s pale face. Her eyes widened at the sight of him. Her gaze swept over him, and the corners of her full lips twisted down.
“What are you doing here? Why aren’t you in the medbay?”
It wasn’t the greeting he expected, but he didn’t care. She looked beautiful. Standing in a long green shirt, the same shade as her eyes, cut enticingly low over her large breasts, she was a fantasy. His gaze ran over her bare legs. No pants? Was she wearing underwear?
His manhood rose. If she was wearing anything, it was probably another tiny scrap of lace.
Which I’ll see for myself before the end of the day, he promised himself.
He reached out for her, taking her chin and tilting it up. “I needed to see you.”
He stepped inside, the doors closing softly behind him, and suddenly, the room felt intimate and small.
She sprang out of his grip, taking several steps back. “You—you should be lying down.”
He ignored the way his stomach turned. She’s acting strangely. Pushing the thought aside, he attempted a smile. “Trying to get me in bed again?”
Pushing her dark hair, still wet, behind her ear, she nibbled her bottom lip. “At least sit on the couch.”
He frowned and stepped toward her. “I don’t want to sit. What’s wrong?”
Those brilliant green eyes of hers looked up, locking gazes with him. “I need to talk to you.”
Not good. “I love you.”
She stiffened, her large eyes widening even farther. “Caleb…”
“And I know you love me, too.”
Please.
“I—you see…” She had turned even paler.
Do not let her push you aside. This female is strong. She will fight you just to ensure that you will fight for her.
“There’s no need to deny it. In fact, I won’t believe you.”
Her hands fisted at her sides, even while she stared down at her bare feet. “My goal at the academy is to be the best—”
“As is mine,” he cut in, confused by the change in topics.
She took a deep breath, which drew his eye to the swell of her breasts. “But this has been my dream all my life.”
He nodded distractedly. His body ached for her, but he had to put his needs aside for the moment. He would still lay with his female that night. She won’t leave me. I can’t let her.
“Caleb, are you listening to me?”
He tore his gaze from her body to her face. “I am.”
She ran a hand through her hair and started pacing in the small space. “The thing is—what I’m trying to say is—I think we need to take a step back.”
What? His focus was totally on her now. “A step back from what?”
She froze and looked at him like a six-legged squid caught in a net. “From us.”
It might’ve been the medicine, but in that moment, he finally understood. He felt someone had reached into his chest and ripped out a vital organ. He grasped the back of the chair beside him, closing his eyes.
“Caleb?” Her voice was close, tentative. “Maybe you should sit.”
He opened his eyes. Like hell. “We are not taking a step back. We are in love, and there is no reason to be separated in any way.”
She touched his arm. Such a gentle touch. “I don’t know how I feel, but I know I need time to sort it out.” Another deep breath. “And I know my goal will always come before whatever is happening between us.”
“It’s love,” he pressed. “Why are you afraid to admit it?”
She straightened. “I’m not afraid. It’s just—we agreed on five times. We’ve slept together twice now. That means there’s only three times left.”
His head ached. “That was before. When this was just physical.”
“It’s still just physical,” she said, staring at his chest.
Liar. “I will not settle for something ‘just physical’ between us. I need more.”
Every second she didn’t respond cut him to the core. Am I wrong about our connection?
“I can’t offer you anything more right now.”
Anger flooded him. He grabbed her and dragged her against his body. He had an impression of eyes widened in surprise, and then he was crushing his lips against her own. Electricity shot between them. Heat wrapped around him. His desire rose as he sensed her need matching his.
Not just physical. She spread her lips, one hand digging into his hair. As she shifted, he bit back a groan of pain as the wound on his stomach gave a sharp stab. But he ignored it, his hands drifting below the hem of her shirt and cupping her firm butt cheeks.
Suddenly, she pulled back, ducking out of his grip. “We can’t!”
She wiped her lips with the back of her arm.
He tried to clear his mind from the raw desire.
“If you’re trying to prove this is more than just physical, you’re failing.”
He growled, opening his mouth to respond, but she spoke before he could.
“This,” she said, pointing from him to her, “is physical. I want you. There’s no denying that. But if you think I’m going to give up the career I’ve waited a lifetime for, you’re wrong. We’ll have to separate, maybe for years, before we could request an assignment together. And if you think I’m going to be thinking of you, waiting around when you aren’t there, you’re wrong.”
No. He stared at her. The woman he loved. The woman he was mated to. Disbelief swirled in his mind like smoke. Could I have really been so wrong?
“This is a crush,” she said more softly, almost to herself. “Once we graduate, we may never see each other again. This can be fun, but nothing more than that.”
The ripping in his chest continued, long and more painful than anything he’d experienced before. Is this what it’s like to be denied by one’s mate? He could never endure this feeling again.
Whatever hold this female had over him, he would eradicate it. He would not allow love for her to torture him like it had his father.
“You are right.” His voice was harsh, so harsh she jumped. “My pain and medicine had me speaking of love. When really, it has only been physical for me, as well. You are not even a Keltair, just a pale, weak, human female. Your fear proves you are not worthy of my love.”
Her face fell, but he wasn’t done. He felt betrayed by her inability to admit the truth. And any remaining connection with this woman would destroy him. He needed to burn every connection between them, or he would never be able to let her go.
“I release you from your bargain of three more times. I will find a new woman to satisfy myself.” He spit the words with all the venom that oozed from his broken heart. “One who is brave enough to acknowledge her feelings. And can handle being with a Keltair male.”
The doors opened before him, and he hesitated before walking through, not looking back at her. “Goodbye, Erin. I’m glad we had this little talk.”
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Erin crumpled to the floor. She wasn’t sure how long she sat there, starin
g at the door Caleb had walked through. She felt cold, colder than she’d ever felt in her life. Caleb’s words were filled with violent anger, but they didn’t fool her. Underneath it all was grief.
I hurt him.
She’d broken his heart. And her own. Her thoughts spiraled, spinning together uselessly.
This is what she’d wanted. To draw a line between them. To no longer be distracted.
But you didn’t want to completely destroy everything between you. Tears filled her eyes. That was the last thing she’d wanted.
She’d made the choice between her future and Caleb, so why did she feel so awful? Because maybe your future could’ve included Caleb. If you were stronger. You’re just too weak. One of her tears broke free and slid down her cheek, followed by another. Now, she’d finally be able to focus.
Yet, she felt empty. Why focus if there’s no joy in it?
As darkness descended, and the soft lights came on automatically around her room, she realized too much time had passed. Rising on stiff legs, she stared without seeing.
How could I have made the right decision if it hurts this badly?
Maybe you didn’t. If she could choose a future—being the captain of a Level 8 ship, with Caleb by her side, or a Level 10 ship alone—which would she choose?
The choice was easy: Caleb.
And it hit her, goose bumps erupting on her flesh.
I made the wrong choice.
But it wasn’t too late.
She rushed out her door and across the hall. At the keypad by his door, she typed in the code she’d long ago mesmerized. Lights flickered on, illuminating the dark space.
Something felt off. Moving around the room, it took her a second to realize what was wrong. Every tiny thing that was Caleb’s, that made the room personal, was gone. She went to his dresser and pulled out a drawer. Empty.
Sickness bubbled inside her stomach.
She turned and hurried out the door, nearly bumping into Sanders. The short, red-haired cadet flashed her a smile that faltered.
“Have you seen Caleb?” Erin asked, desperation lacing each word.
The woman nodded. “He was in the front office while I was there getting some paperwork. I guess they moved him to the Starfire Academy on Earth.”
“What?”
She turned and stumbled across the hall back to her room.
“Are you okay?” Sanders asked, her voice filled with concern.
Erin couldn’t form the words to answer her. Instead, she entered the code to her room and stepped inside. The doors slid shut behind her, and she stood, staring. What now? Had she really just lost the man she loved?
Like hell!
She was Erin goddamned Stowe. Nothing ever stopped her from what she wanted, and she wanted Caleb. So what now? She glanced at her computer and clenched her fists. Perfect. She would bare her soul to the incredible alien who’d stolen her heart. And if he was the man she thought he was, he’d be on his way back to the academy before the night was out.
At least she hoped.
Chapter Forty
Erin stared at the shimmering bubble that indicated Caleb’s dream. Tears flowed freely down her cheeks. After three days, she’d had to accept that the alien who’d professed his love for her hadn’t really meant it. No matter how empty she felt inside, she told herself to accept his decision. Even though food no longer held any appeal. Even though her dreams had been plagued with nightmares ever since.
So how did she end up here?
You agreed to let him go. But she guessed her brain and heart didn’t give a crap about her decision, or else she wouldn’t be here. She should leave. She knew that. A long time ago she’d made the decision to respect the privacy of her friends and family when accidentally Dream Jumping into their dream.
Yet, she didn’t leave.
Instead, she stepped into the bubble. The dream was a familiar one. Caleb lay on a hot red stone, baking beneath the harsh rays of three suns. More stone and sand stretched out in all directions around him. His body had been shredded, leaving behind a mass of bloodied flesh.
Her heart twisted, even while she tried to ignore it. This was not a nightmare. Caleb had actually lived through an attack by his fellow Keltairs, one where he’d been left for dead.
She inched closer. Her shadow fell across him.
He turned, squinting his eyes. “You?”
An unexpected horror squeezed her chest. Did she want to hear what he had to say?
“No,” he said. “You shouldn’t be here.”
The landscape blurred and changed. Suddenly, they were in a tropical paradise. A large waterfall fell into a pool of crystal blue waters. The trees that crowded them were draped with vines covered in glowing blue flowers. A slightly chilly breeze carried with it a sweet, foreign scent.
“This is where we should be.”
She turned at the sound of his voice. He stood before her, naked. Her body warmed. She’d started to think her memories of him were more fantasy than reality. But she was wrong. His skin glowed a healthy bronze. He was large, large in every way. Big shoulders, huge, muscular arms. Her gaze ran lower.
“You can’t really be that big.”
His cock jerked as if to acknowledge her words.
“Come on,” he said.
Gently, he removed her white tank top and lacy white underwear. He flung them, then surprised her by lifting her into his arms.
She laughed, wrapping her arms around his neck. Even though none of it is real, I want to pretend for a little while it is. One last time.
He carried them into the warm, sweet-smelling waters. He set her down and stood her in front of him. His hard manhood pressed into her stomach. Heat shot into her center, pooling between her legs.
“I need you,” she whispered, brushing his dark hair from his forehead.
He tugged her wrist, kissing it and then her fingers. Then, his mouth descended on hers. She arched against him, feeling her hard nipples as they rubbed against his bare chest. She moaned as one hand grasped her breast while he deepened their kiss, thrusting his tongue into her mouth. His fingers grasped one of her nipples, squeezing it.
Her womanhood tightened. “Caleb…”
Groaning, he grabbed her ass and pulled her up, to wrap her legs around his waist. Suddenly, his head was buried against her chest, taking one nipple into his mouth and sucking gently and then harder. She cried out, grasping his hair. But his hungry mouth only moved onto the other breast.
So good together. Why didn’t he come back for me?
She shifted, rubbing against his erection.
He cursed, pulling his head back, staring into her eyes. The look of pure need and desire hit her, stealing her breath. His cock rubbed against her opening and slowly slid in. She screamed his name, her body shuddering around him.
The pounding of her heart seemed to fill her ears. Very slowly, he withdrew from her, then slid back in.
She was shaking. Shocked by how he filled her. It was almost uncomfortable, as if there wasn’t quite enough room. He filled her completely, more than she’d ever thought possible. It also felt amazing. Deep. Profound.
Wanting more and not willing to wait a moment longer, she drew him in farther as his fingers dug into her ass. And that’s when he snapped. Thrusting in and out of her, his rhythm grew faster and faster. She clung to his shoulders, throwing her head back.
His mouth drew in one of her hard nipples, sending her crashing over the edge. She screamed his name, over and over. Her vision turned white. Every nerve carried an impossibly strong electric current as her muscles went from tense to liquid.
And that’s when he came, hard and fast. His seed spilling into her like liquid fire, sending her over the edge again, as she clawed at his shoulders.
“I love you, Caleb.” The words bubbled out against her will, but she felt the need to say them, even if it was only a dream. Even if he wouldn’t remember it.
He didn’t answer, but held her in the waters for a
long time after that. His cock still warm inside of her. Neither of them spoke. One of his hands stroked her back, while the other held her ass, as if afraid she might pull away.
But she never wanted to be away from him. She wanted to live in that moment forever. Because somehow, this Keltair male had become an essential part of her life. How was she supposed to slip away, never to see him again?
He didn’t come back for you.
How would she ever be able to say goodbye?
You have to. He’s already let you go.
Her throat closed.
She needed to let him go. She’d revealed her heart to him, and he’d ignored her desperate plea, not even caring enough to respond. He said you were too weak. Was she really so desperate to cling to him through his dreams?
No, Caleb, I promise, I’ll let you go. For both of us. Holding him more closely she made a silent wish, that the morning would never come.
~ Erin and Caleb’s story isn’t over yet—preorder Deadly Dreams, out in just a few weeks.~
Other Works By Averi Hope
Alternative Futures
Nightmare Hunter: The Cursed
Deadly Dreams: The Cursed
Mortal Fire: Species The Magical
Twisted Prophesies: The Gifted
Alien Lovers
Savage: A SciFi Erotic Romance
Barbarian: A SciFi Erotic Romance
Alpha: A SciFi Erotic Romance
Alien Mates
Prisoner: A SciFi Erotic Romance
About the Author
Averi Hope believes in magic. She sees the world as a place full of possibilities and adventure. Her life isn’t always easy, but her beautiful children and incredible husband make every day just a little better.
And that’s its own kind of magic.
Most days, she writes like a madwoman. She loves to create characters and worlds that feel real. And more than anything, she wants to make her readers laugh, shout, or cry as they immerse themselves in her books. If she can manage that, then she feels she did her job. She specializes in romances with magic, fantasy, and a sprinkle of out-of-this-world experiences.
