Chapter Twelve
As Gabriel left the playroom, the tears Zhenya had been holding at bay, spilled over her cheeks. It had taken all her control to say no to him - to stop him when her body had screamed for more. Hell if it had even been a week ago, she’d have said yes and gone with him. And probably gotten my heart broken in the process. Not that it wasn’t hurting already. Her blood might still be singing with the pleasure he’d given her but his whispered plea had stung, nearly as bad as it had earlier this week, when she’d realized he was fantasizing about Sara while he held her.
She hadn’t lied to him. She wanted a Dom who could love both her and Sophia equally. And while she knew he was enamored with Sophia - it had been obvious since the first time he’d held her newborn daughter, she also realized she couldn’t just settle for a man who would only care but not truly love her mother. She wanted one who could love her just as much, and not for the child she could give him.
It had come to her while arguing with Sebastene earlier. She’d rather be alone than settle for a man who merely wanted only what she could give him like Ossie had. She wanted what she’d witnessed between Nisey and Caelan, and Jude, Olivia and Micah, along with numerous other couples she’d met since joining Olivia’s. Damned if I don’t want it to be Gabriel.
Wiping furiously at the betraying moisture, she tried to compose herself. She’d have to go upstairs soon to face not only Gabriel, but also Caelan and Nisey. While she wasn’t too worried about the men, Nisey was much more observant than them. The last thing she needed was the other submissive knowing how upset she was.
“Zhenya?” Nisey’s soft voice came from the doorway, and what little composure Zhenya thought she’d had crumbled as her friend walked into the room. She burst into a fresh round of tears as Nisey crawled onto the bed with her.
“Aw, honey…” Nisey drew Zhenya into her arms. “Shhhh, I know it hurts. He’s a stubborn thick-headed fool. He doesn’t know what he’s missing.” Rubbing her head against Zhenya’s, she slowly rocked her.
Then as if someone had opened the flood gates, it all came pouring out. She couldn’t have stopped it if she’d tried. For the first time since the death of her husband, Zhenya lost it and cried. Not only for the whole idiocy of it, but also for all she’d lost - her home, her security, even the good memories of her time with Ossie. It hadn’t all been bad. Tears streamed down her face, her nose began to run, but through it all Nisey held her. Listened to how all Zhenya had left was Sophia now. She even spilled the truth of her marriage, how she’d been a virgin when she’d came to Ossie, never wanting to raise a child alone because of a medical quirk that wouldn’t allow her to take birth control. How she’d wanted a man who was Dominant to be her husband. She babbled about how here she was, a single mom who’d been so desperate, she jumped at the chance to have a new man in her life and she’d ignored all the warning signs.
Even knowing she was wallowing in self-pity, she couldn’t seem to stop and through it all Nisey held her, soothed her, until she finally collapsed in an exhausted heap against her friend. As if sensing the storm was over, Nisey sighed.
“That was a long time in coming, wasn’t it?” Nisey stroked her hair with one hand while the other held her close.
“Yeah, you could say that.” Zhenya hiccupped and lifted her head. Now that it was over, she couldn’t help but feel appalled by her behavior. She couldn’t believe she’d just indulged in a pity party, and her friend had been lucky enough to witness it. Even as Zhenya squirmed to get free, Nisey clucked at her, holding her with ease; her strength surprising for one as slender as her. “My guess is this is the first time you’ve let go since he died.”
Laying her head back down on her friend’s shoulder, Zhenya sighed. “I couldn’t break down. I had to stay strong. I had to leave Greece before Ossie’s parents found out I was pregnant. I’ve had so many miscarriages. If a miracle happened and I managed to carry to term, I didn’t want them trying to take the baby. Then when I arrived, I was so busy trying to erase my tracks and prepare for Sophia’s birth…”
A knowing smile crossed Nisey’s face. “You didn’t have time to let it sink in, to mourn for him.”
She nodded. “But not just for him… for our marriage.” She sighed and sat up. “I was going to file for divorce, even if he hadn’t died, Nisey. I couldn’t do it anymore. He wasn’t the man I thought I’d married…the Dom I’d given my submission to - that man was gone.”
“Not to criticize but wouldn’t it have been better to talk to him?. He was your master…”
“Yes, he was.” Zhenya folded her hands on her lap. “What I’m about to tell you…well I haven’t told anyone else. Not his judgmental parents, not my subbie group. My husband was killed on his way to his mistress’s house. She was the wife of one of our prominent clients at the resort. My late husband’s father owns one of the most elite resorts in Southern Greece.” A bitter laugh escaped her. “How pathetic was it I didn’t realize he was sleeping with one of our guests? For Christ’s sake, I actually worked in the accounting department at the resort to help out. I’d never have found out, if I hadn’t called the client in question about a transaction that hadn’t gone through on his card.” When Nisey looked intrigued, Zhenya quickly explained. “You see it had expired. So I called him. Told him who I was, and I was calling in regards to his wife’s stay at the hotel on said date.”
“Oh no,” Nisey expression was horrified. “You broke the news to him. He didn’t know anything about it?”
A rueful smile twisted Zhenya’s lips. “Oh, no, he knew everything about it. He’d been having his wife followed, and had just found out about her and Ossie’s affair. So when I called up and introduced myself as Mrs. Ossie Sikkenga, he wanted to meet me. So I agreed to lunch that afternoon at a local shop.” She leaned back against the headboard. “What a fool I was. I went thinking he wanted to straighten out the billing situation.”
“It was about the affair?” Nisey guessed, lying down next to her.
“Yeah. Complete with the humiliating pictures of my husband and his wife.” A rusty chuckle escaped her. “Dear Lord, she had him dressed up like a pony, complete with a bridle and saddle, and even a tail. She was perched on his back, using a crop on him.”
“What?” Nisey choked on the word.
Zhenya giggled. “It seemed the highly esteemed son of the Sikkenga Resorts actually was a closet switch, and while he loved dominating his wife, he wanted a mistress who would tie him up and ride him like a pony.”
Nisey burst out laughing. “You’re shitting me, right?”
Shaking her head, Zhenya looked at Nisey solemnly. “Nope. To say I was mortified beyond anything I’ve ever felt when I gazed down at the man I’d called Master since we’d gotten married, was an understatement.”
“So did you confront him?”
Zhenya shook her head. “Not right away. You see I’d just found out about Sophia, and I was worried about traveling during my first trimester. So I waited six agonizing weeks, playing the dutiful wife. Then on our tenth anniversary, the night I’d originally planned on telling him about our child, I handed him the pictures. The look on his face was…”
“Priceless?”
Zhenya rolled over to face Nisey. “No. He just stared at the pictures, then looked up at me and calmly asked me what I was going to do. You see he was waiting for hysterics and accusations, but I refused to give them to him. That’s when I informed him I was leaving him.” She chuckled softly. “That’s when the hysterics started. He wanted me to continue to play the role of his dutiful wife. When I told him I was divorcing him, he went off the deep end, threatening all kinds of things. How I wouldn’t get a dime of his money if I tried to leave, how his father would make sure I was detained, how I’d never see America again.”
“So what did you do? How did you get away from him?”
“I didn’t have to get away. Whether he was pissed off at me or the situation, I have no idea, but he locked himself into his s
tudy with a bottle of whiskey. It must’ve been about midnight when I heard him leave. It wasn’t ‘til the next morning as I was getting ready to leave that Sebastene arrived with the police. Ossie had been killed in an auto accident the night before. Due to the rain and the alcohol he’d consumed he’d hit a tree head on. It later came out that he’d been on his way to his mistress’s home. In fact, the tree he’d hit was at the corner of the property her husband owned.”
“Good Lord, what a mess.”
“Talk about shock. Sebastene threw me out right then and there. I left with nothing more than my clothing and a few jewels my father gave my mother.” She rolled onto her back. “As soon as the police cleared me, I sold everything but my mother’s wedding ring, then hopped on a flight to New York. Using a school visa and my father’s residency, I disappeared into the vast place you call America. Or at least tried to.”
“And now he’s found you.” Nisey exhaled softly. “What a mess.”
“Yep.” Zhenya closed her eyes briefly, before finally speaking again. “Is he still up there?”
“He?”
She opened her eyes. “You know tall, dark, and moody?”
“He left.” Nisey pushed up from the bed. “I wish things were different for you. I’ve known Gabriel a long time. He and Sara were there when I took my first baby steps into the lifestyle. She was a mentor, a confidant when I struggled with what I wanted.”
“Then you knew her?” Zhenya held no ill will against the woman. She was dead, but while she was alive she’d obviously made Gabriel a very happy man. It was only natural to be curious about the woman.
“Oh, yes. The first time I met her was at a munch at Pínaka ti̱s Mi̱téras. She allowed Caelan to demonstrate a basic tie in the same private room you had Sophia in. God, it was probably one of the most erotic things my twenty-two year old eyes had ever seen.” Nisey gave her a grin. “I was innocent then, totally inexperienced. I knew enough to realize I was missing something, but until Kalinda offered me a place to stay, I had no idea how to even go about finding it. I grew up with Kalinda, but had never met her sexy older brother until after we both graduated high school. He was raised by his mother in Ireland, while she was raised by hers here…” Nisey’s voice trailed off.
“And you met his Sara at this munch?”
Nisey grinned. “Yes. Shortly after I moved in with Kalinda, Caelan offered to take me to one of the local munches. That’s where I met quite a few people who are very much part of my world today, including Sara. Mistress Olivia, she was there with her ever-present crop. She hadn’t settled down with Jude and Micah yet, but she had her sub of the week with her. I often wonder what happened to him. Reese something or other was his name.” Nisey tapped her lips thoughtfully. “Of course, Gabriel was hosting it, and Josh was around as well. He hadn’t wised up yet about Kalinda. They were all there. It seems so long ago, but it’s only been four years. Since then almost everyone has paired off. Kalinda with Josh and Dominic, Olivia and her men, even Caelan and I… but at the time the only people who were in an actual relationship were Gabriel and Sara.”
“How long where they together?”
“According to Máister? They were together nearly five years before I met them. I think it would’ve been ten years in July since their collaring ceremony.” Tears welled up in Nisey’s eyes. “You should’ve met her. She had such a bubbly personality. Always had a ready smile on her face. You could just see the wheels turning behind her eyes. I think at times, she was what kept Gabriel so young. She wouldn’t let him get too serious about himself.”
“Really?” Zhenya leaned forward, curious. The Gabriel she knew was very somber. “I can’t imagine him playing.”
“Oh yes,” Nisey looked around the room. “Don’t tell Caelan I told you, but Sara used to have a running bet with Gabriel.”
“She did?”
Nisey giggled. “Yes she did. She used to sneak under his desk at work, and wait for him. Then she’d wait until he was on the phone with one of his suppliers to unzip his pants.”
Zhenya’s face heated. She couldn’t even begin to imagine initiating sex, let alone being brave enough to do it at her place of work. “Really? She played with him in his office?”
“She did more than play if you get my drift. And that’s where the bet came into play. If she could get him to come without the other party knowing, he’d let her wear her BenWa balls, however if the person figured it out…well then not only did she get her bottom warmed for being so forward with her master, she also ended up suspended with a buzzer against her clit. She used to say, she never knew whether she wanted to win or not.”
Zhenya’s mind whirled. “Dear Lord.” She could only imagine what it would like to have that kind of relationship. She hadn’t been so lucky with Ossie. She’d waited on her master, had given him what he wanted inside their bedroom, but their play had never moved beyond closed doors. Ossie had been too self-conscious about the fact someone might actually realize he liked to tie up his wife. He’d been serious in his play.
“Like I said…the somber side you’ve seen, that’s not the Gabriel we know and love. Our Gabriel always had a ready smile. Loved to play with his submissive, and was always there to offer a helping hand.” The wistful tone in Nisey’s voice was surprising, just as astonishing as the man she was describing to Zhenya. “Damn I miss him. I hope he comes back soon.”
Reaching out, Zhenya squeezed Nisey’s hand in reassurance. “Of course you do. And I’m sure, one day when you least expect it, he’ll be back…and maybe you’ll be able to introduce him to me - because that Gabriel is one I’d love to meet.”
Nisey nodded, and opened her mouth as if to say something else, but was interrupted by a familiar Irish tinged voice.
“If you girls are done gossiping, Olivia and Jude are here to escort you to a safe house they’ve arranged for you, Zhenya.”
Rolling towards the door, Nisey gave Caelan a smile. “We’ll be up in a minute, Máister. Let me get her presentable.”
Concern in his amber eyes, Caelan nodded. “Make it snappy. I want her moved before Gabriel gets back. He’s going to be pissed when he finds out she’s not going to Olivia’s.”
Sitting up straight, Zhenya panicked. “Where am I going then?”
“Hark is taking her in.” Caelan stated softly, before slipping back out of the playroom.
“Are we talking about the same Hark - the one we were talking about at the Mall?” Zhenya asked, her eyes widening.
Nisey looked grim. “I’m afraid so.” Rolling off the bed, she grabbed Zhenya’s hand. “Now move your ass. I don’t want to be anywhere in the vicinity if Gabriel catches sight of Hark.”
Zhenya allowed herself to be tugged over to the bar. “And why’s that? Surely the two men are reasonable.”
Nisey arched a brow at her. “Honey, the last time Hark and Gabriel were alone in a room together…” She shook her head. “…well, let’s just say I want my house to remain in one piece, and leave it at that.”
Chapter Thirteen
Humming softly to Sophia, Zhenya tried to not panic as the minivan ate up the miles between Caelan’s house and wherever Harkahome “Hark” Akula was taking her and her baby. She only could trust Caelan’s decision, and if he thought Hark’s place was a good place to hunker down until Sebastene and his henchmen had been dealt with, then so did she. Taking in his alert features and economical movements as he drove, Zhenya had to agree with Nisey. The man never seemed to miss anything with those sharp eyes. He took in everything around him. Not just the traffic in front of him, but his eyes were constantly moving, checking mirrors, the surrounding vehicles and if she wasn’t mistaken, he was even watching behind them. Probably for a tail, not that she thought they had one.
After her emotional breakdown in the playroom, Nisey had helped her gather up what she’d needed for a short stay before escorting her out the back door to the waiting minivan. If she hadn’t been so scared about someone trying to snatch Sophia,
she would’ve laughed at the idea of a fearsome Native American driving an old battered up vehicle. When she’d just looked at it in confusion, the baby carrier hooked over her arm and diaper bag over the other, Hark had just shrugged and said in a soft but dead voice, “It runs.”
After buckling Sophia’s infant car seat securely into the back seat with the seat belt, she’d settled down on the bench seat next to her, while Hark loaded the back of the mini-van with Sophia’s pack-n-play, her portable swing, and a bag of clothing for both herself and Sophia. When he’d slid his huge form behind the wheel, she had a tearful good-bye with Nisey after promising to call her when she got settled, no matter what Jude had said about keeping communications to a minimum.
“We’ll be at my home in about fifteen minutes, Ms. Zhenya.” His voice broke through her thoughts. “But before we get there, we’ll be passing a Wal-Mart. Do you need to stop for anything? Formula, diapers?” He kept his voice even as he spoke for the first time in the forty minutes since they’d pulled away from Caelan’s home.
Mentally running through her list, she decided she needed diapers for Sophia and tampons for herself. “Yes, if you don’t mind. Sophia has enough diapers for the night but she’ll probably be out by morning.” She conveniently left out mentioning the feminine products. Caelan might trust him, but she sure didn’t feel comfortable asking a strange man for such an intimate item.
“No problem.” Flicking on the turn signal he slowly decreased speed and exited the Tri-State Tollway. Within minutes he was pulling into a huge parking lot under a familiar blue and white sign.
“If you’d like, I can sit in the car with Sophia, or you can give me a list and I’ll grab what you need.” He placed the minivan into park. “It’s awfully cold outside and the little one shouldn’t be out in the cold any more than necessary.”
Chewing on her lip, she glanced down at Sophia. She was sucking on her fist, and her eyes were finally shut. “You’re right.” She reached for her purse on the floorboard. “If you don’t mind. It won’t take me more than a few minutes.”
Gabriel's Light (Doms of Chicago) Page 10
