She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Michael still hasn’t forgiven him.”
It took me a second to process her words. “I’m not sure I understand.”
Angela’s eyes flew open and she reached out and gripped my hand tightly. “Oh my God. He hasn’t told you. I’m so sorry. You need to ask him about it. I can’t be the one to tell you. It wouldn’t be right.” She raised a hand to her forehead as if her head hurt. “Please don’t tell him I said anything. He’ll never forgive me.”
“Mum.”
Angela swung around, her face contorting into something approaching grief. “Dave!”
“Mum.” Dave placed the bottle of dessert wine on the counter and walked over to his mother. He opened his arms and waited for her to step forward, then enclosed her in an embrace. “It’s OK,” I heard him say. “I’ll tell her.”
“I’m so sorry. Your father always upsets me so much and—”
“I know. Shh.”
“Tell me what?” I asked uncertainly.
Dave nodded toward the door. “I’ll be outside when you’re ready.”
Chapter 35
Dave was sitting on the back stairs when I stepped out into the summer evening. Not that you could really call them back stairs. It was more of a sprawling patio area with an outdoor table and chairs that looked more expensive than my entire indoor furnishings put together. The steps led to a manicured garden, which appeared to be maintained as carefully as Angela maintained herself.
I walked over and sat down beside him.
He didn’t look at me, just kept watching the shifting shadows made by the trees rustling gently in the breeze.
“By the time I was sixteen, I’d turned into a complete asshole.”
I almost didn’t hear him. The cicadas were out in full force, singing loudly. I shifted to face him but he still didn’t meet my gaze.
“Oh, I had my excuses,” he said. “Years of living with my father for one. I was a disappointment to him, and somehow that became my goal. To disappoint him as much as possible. Getting expelled from the pretentious private school he sent me to was pretty satisfying.”
I frowned, feeling sorry for the boy who’d grown up believing he wasn’t good enough.
“I got into the wrong crowd after that. Kept getting brought home by the police for one thing or another. Most of it pretty harmless and stupid, but it was enough to piss my father off. He had his reputation to think about, didn’t he?” Dave’s laughter sounded brittle.
“Now I look back at it, it’s so pathetic. Poor little rich boy not living up to Daddy’s standards. I should have just moved in with my grandparents. They would have agreed in an instant, seeing as they never liked Dad.”
“Why was that? Apart from the obvious, I mean.”
I saw Dave’s jaw tense in the moonlight. “Mum should have been with Keith. Dad took advantage of her and she got pregnant. The rest is history.”
“Oh,” I said softly. “When you say, ‘took advantage’ what do you mean?”
Dave sat up straighter and met my eyes for the first time. “Oh God, no, Cate. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. What I meant was that he used every dirty trick in the book to win her. He’d always wanted her, apparently. I only know this because Keith got drunk one night and told me. And what Dad wants, he gets. He charmed her, were Keith’s words. With his intelligence, his money, his power. Dad can be very convincing and while Mum has never said it, I know she regrets it. Her and Keith are still close despite him being married happily to my aunt for many years.”
“How could Keith ever forgive him?” I wondered out loud.
“Because Keith’s a decent guy, that’s why, and he figured he’d rather be there for Mum than spend a lifetime holding a grudge.”
“For brothers, they’re very different.”
“Completely. My grandparents were comfortable, but not rich like Dad. His wealth is his own doing because he wanted money and everything that came with it. Keith was happy with his simple life. I used to wish he was my father,” Dave admitted.
I reached over and slipped my hand into his, comforted by the feel of his rough palm on mine.
“Anyway,” Dave said, “that’s just another excuse for what I’m about to say and there’s no excuses for my behavior. Dad’s right. I was reckless. The night of Lauren’s accident, I was drunk. Not just a bit drunk, but plastered, off my face drunk.”
“Why should that matter, Dave? You weren’t driving.”
Dave sighed and let go of my hand. “Lauren wasn’t supposed to be out at the party with me, but she begged to come that night. My parents didn’t know and if they had, they would have forbade it. But hey, what did I care, right? It wasn’t like I ever did anything to please them. So I took her along and then got completely wasted. Then later when she wanted to leave, I was too drunk to take her home, wasn’t I?”
He dropped his head into his hands. “I don’t even really remember. Lauren was furious with me and I wasn’t even coherent enough to care. So she left me there, which I deserved. It wasn’t until I arrived home the next morning and read the note that I found out she was in hospital. She could have died and it was my fault.”
I looked at him in the darkness, hunched over in his grief, reliving the memory of the person he used to be, but I knew he no longer was. “Dave, you weren’t driving that car. Her friend was. Yes, you made some poor choices, choices which you’d change now, but it was an accident. Accidents happen all the time. What’s not to say you could have been driving her home sober and had an equally serious accident?”
“Cate. Stop.” His voice was raw with emotion. “You don’t understand. The only reason she got into that car was because of me. Her friend had been drinking.”
“That’s such a load of bullshit and you know it.”
We both turned at the sound of Lauren’s voice.
“Lauren,” Dave said. “You don’t need to defend me.”
Her heels clicked on the patio as she walked over to us. “You’re right, I don’t, because there’s nothing to defend against. I got into that car, and I fucked up, big time. Do you know how many times I’ve imagined just walking out of there instead? But I didn’t. Shit happens.”
“Shit happens?” Dave looked at her incredulously. “You were lucky to be alive.”
“Yep. It’s lucky I am then, because can you imagine how much of a prick Dad would be if I’d actually died?” Lauren sat down next to me. “It was easy for Dad to blame Dave. Dave was the bad boy, I was the good girl. Good girls didn’t sneak off to parties with their big brother and do irresponsible things like get in their best friend’s car when I knew she’d been drinking.” She shrugged. “I was sick of being the good girl. Didn’t work out so well.”
I wasn’t sure how, but I cracked a small smile.
“So anyway,” she continued, “I’ve given Dad hell after his little performance tonight. He won’t be any more trouble so you can come back in and have dessert. When you’re ready.” She stood up again. “Don’t let the tough guy mope, OK?”
I nodded and we watched her walk away.
“I love your sister,” I said when she was gone.
“Yeah. I do too.”
“You still blame yourself.”
“Of course I do.”
We sat in silence for a while, watching the moonlit garden and listening to the drone of cicadas rejoicing in the summer heat.
“Do you want me to take you home?” Dave asked eventually.
I looked over at him. “No. Let’s go in and have dessert. You know I have a sweet tooth and I’m not going to let your father ruin it.”
Dave nodded and stood up, waiting for me to do the same.
“I’ll drop you home after that.”
“But I’m staying with you tonight.”
“I don’t really think that’s a good idea.” He turned and started walking toward the house, leaving me to stare at his back.
“What are you saying?” My voice sounded sm
all against the hum of the cicadas.
“I mean, I don’t think it’s a good idea.” He didn’t turn around.
“Why on earth would you think that?”
He stopped and faced me again. It was like the shutters had come down. It reminded me of the first few times I’d seen him and how I hadn’t been able to read him.
“Why, Dave?”
“Do you honestly want to stay with me tonight?” he asked.
“Yes!”
He shook his head, but it felt like it was more at himself. “Take a day or two, Cate. Figure out if this is what you want.”
“What I want?” I heard myself say, and then I was marching toward him, pressing a finger into his chest. “What I want is for you to snap out of it. Do you really think this changes anything?”
He didn’t speak, didn’t flinch, just kept watching me.
“Well, it doesn’t,” I said, determined to get through to him. I didn’t like what this place did to him. How he retreated into himself when he was here. It was almost as if he believed the lies his father told. “Alright, let me ask you this. Did you think you needed a break from me when you met my brother?”
“No.”
“Or how about when you learned about my father or my upbringing? What about then?”
“No.”
“Exactly. This doesn’t change anything, Dave. Not one single thing. So you have an asshole of a father? That’s hardly a new experience for me. So you were a bit of a bad boy when you were younger? If you must know, it actually turns me on a little. And one day it will be a good story to tell our grandkids.”
Dave’s lips quirked. “Our grandkids?”
“Yes!” I closed my mouth. I’d said too much. As usual.
Dave looked down at the finger still poking into his chest. He reached up, covering my hand with his. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”
I shook my head, too scared to speak in case I said anything else stupid.
He slipped his arms around my waist and pulled me close. “Don’t we have to have kids first?”
“That’s usually how it works.” Well, he hadn’t run screaming. That was a good thing, but if he kept rubbing his hands against my back like that I’d have to suggest we start trying right now.
“On second thoughts, let’s go,” he whispered into my ear, reading my mind.
“What about dessert?”
“Forget dessert. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”
“What about your mother?”
“She’ll understand.” He leaned back to look at me. “Need you, Cate.”
It shouldn’t have been romantic, but it was, and my heart skipped a beat. I reached up and ran a hand along the stubble of his jaw. He closed his eyes and let out a shuddering breath.
“Cate?”
“I need you too, Dave. Let’s go.”
Chapter 36
‘Need you’ became our private code. When I was distracted by the thought of him, I’d send him a text: Need you. He’d usually text back the same, or occasionally it would be something more suggestive. Other times we’d use it for practical requests. I need you to cook me dinner. There was even: I need you to teach me how to drive :) To his credit, Dave risked Layla on a few occasions to give me lessons on driving a manual. Suffice to say, we needed a lot of each other.
And the latest? I need you to move my furniture into Lauren’s place.
“Where do you want this to go?” Dave asked.
I took a moment to answer because I was distracted by the bulging muscles in his forearms. When I registered his muscles were bulging because of the coffee table he was holding I shook myself. “Oh. Wherever Lauren wants it really. Just ask her when you take it downstairs.”
Dave nodded and carried it down the hallway, treating me to a nice view of his denim-clad backside.
“I don’t know why you don’t just move in together,” Christa commented from the kitchen when he was gone. “It’s not like you can get enough of each other.”
Christa had returned from her honeymoon the week before and we were spending the weekend packing the apartment and getting rid of items we no longer wanted.
I shrugged and closed the box I was finished packing. “There’s no need to rush things.”
Christa clutched her chest. “Am I really hearing this? Miss Romance is taking things slow?”
“He hasn’t asked,” I said.
“Yeah, because you agreed to move in with Lauren straight away. Did you even bring it up with him?”
“No. I didn’t. Besides, the man is about to take over a sizable business, the last thing he needs is me moving in, complicating his financial situation.”
“Complicating his financial situation?” Christa wrapped the mug she was holding and put it in the box sitting on the counter. “You’ve been working with money for too long. It’s affecting your rosy-eyed view of the world.”
I turned and walked over to the sliding doors to the balcony. It would be one of the last times I’d get to watch this view. The boats bobbing in the harbor, the expensive houses I couldn’t afford overlooking Lavender Bay. Lauren’s apartment was two floors down and didn’t have the position ours did. “I guess I just wasn’t ready to leave this place yet,” I said in a small voice.
“Oh, Cate!” Christa rushed to my side and put her arm around me. “I’m sorry me marrying Max has forced you to move, I really am.”
“I can’t believe you just apologized for marrying Max. We couldn’t live together forever. Life moves on.”
Christa dropped her head onto my shoulder and watched the view with me. I smiled into her headful of blonde curls.
“It is the end of an era though, isn’t it?” she said.
“It is.”
“A damn good era, if you ask me.”
Inexplicably tears filled my eyes and I blinked them away. “The best.”
Christa turned to face me. “You’ll see, Cate. There’s even better to come. And you’ve got Dave and Lauren now too, which is pretty awesome.”
I nodded, and we gave each other a tight hug. I stepped back and surveyed the room. “We’re almost done out here.” Some of it was going into storage while I lived with Lauren. Other items that Christa or I no longer needed would be given to charity.
“Is that your phone?” Christa asked.
“Thanks.” I dashed to my bedroom – soon to be my old bedroom, I registered with a pang – and picked it up from the top of the box it was sitting on. “Heath?”
“Hey, Cate. How’s the move going?”
“Getting there.”
“Have you got that big, strong plumber guy helping you shift things?”
I grinned at his cheeky tone of voice. “Something like that.”
“Good. Bring him up to meet us sometime, will you?”
I paused.
“What?” Heath asked.
“That’s the first time you’ve ever asked to meet a guy I’m seeing,” I said.
“That’s because it’s the first time I’ve wanted to meet a guy that you’re seeing.”
I laughed. “So why is this guy worthy?”
“Because I can hear how happy he makes you. That and the rumor around Taree is that he can land a decent punch.”
I cringed. “Really?”
“Small town, Cate. You know how it is. I would have done much the same to that asshole Waters for coming within fifty feet of you. Doesn’t matter how long it’s been.”
“I know you would, Heath.”
“Apparently I hear you can kick pretty well too?”
I cringed again. “Yeah, when I have the motivation.”
“Anyway, that’s not what I’m calling about. I’m calling about Dad.”
“Oh. Is he …?”
There was beat of silence. “Yeah, Cate. He’s gone.”
I sat down on the box closest to me. I knew it had been coming. The ‘he’s only got days left’ had turned into weeks as our stubborn father clung to the life he’d lived every d
ay hating. “OK. Thank you for telling me. Are you going to his funeral?”
I heard Heath blow out a long breath. “Yeah. I’m flying down the day after tomorrow.”
“Good luck.”
Heath grunted. “I should let you keep packing. Hope I haven’t put a dampener on things.”
“No, I wanted you to tell me.”
“I know. I’ll call you when I get back, OK?”
“OK.”
We said goodbye and I sat on the box staring out the window, watching the afternoon sunlight reflect on the water of the bay.
“Cate?”
I looked over to see Dave standing in the door.
“Everything alright?”
I didn’t say anything.
“Cate?” He stepped into the room.
“That was Heath. About my dad. He’s gone.”
Dave pushed his hair away from his face and sat down on the box closest to me.
“You OK? Do you need me?”
“Surprisingly, I’m fine.” And I was. I had no tears to shed because I knew they would be a waste. “But do I need you? Yes. Always.”
Dave reached over and held my hand.
*
“Cate? Can you join me in my office, please?”
I looked up from my computer to see my boss, Glen, standing at my door. “Sure. Now?”
Glen nodded and walked off without waiting for me. I frowned at his retreating back and forced myself to stand and follow him. Glen was in his mid-fifties and practiced a ‘hands off’ management style. Generally, he left the planners to their own devices except when checking in at our weekly meetings.
In his office I sat in the seat opposite his desk. He leaned back in his chair and looked at me for a long moment. His blue eyes assessed me through his wire rimmed glasses, which had been carefully selected to match his short cropped salt and pepper hair.
“Glen?” He was scaring me. This couldn’t be about Dave, could it? I still hadn’t told him and I was guilt ridden over it, but he wasn’t an easy man to talk to at the best of times. I’d originally taken the job because it had been a good opportunity, not because I felt an instant rapport with my boss. We still didn’t, if I was being honest, but it hadn’t mattered so far. I was used to dealing with difficult men – I’d had a childhood of it – and Glen kept his distance anyway.
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