by Angela White
Adrian had wanted to kick her out for helping the kind man become a drunk, but even one life lost on his watch was more than he could allow. So he had thrown himself into caring for his small, shell-shocked herd, hoping Joe would eventually see her for the scheming bitch she was.
They had set out for a base in Montana, his words of the secret bunker there easy to believe, though he had no intentions of staying with them - not until he made it west. His heart was overjoyed to finally have his purpose in life, the reason he’d been spared. He was a Shepherd. That was why he’d been allowed to live. It was his duty to help rebuild their world.
1/11/2013
Other than myself, there are only 30 people here so far.
Most of them are elderly men and I doubt half will survive; their injuries are just so bad I can’t help them in anyway other than providing drugs to dull the pain, and a comforting hand to hold while they die. Each death kills something inside me.
I wonder if I’ve sacrificed family for these dead strangers, but I can’t just walk away. They need me too, and other than a little ‘listening’, I’ll put it out of my head and go on. I haven’t abandoned him. I’m just very late.
1/12/2013
We sleep in vans and buses, not enough workers for tents yet, but I have an idea for two common room set ups. When the new man, Doug, recovers, that’ll be his first chore. Doug’s important to me, I know it. I just don’t know how yet. I found him by accident or maybe by Fate leading me?
He was trapped under a collapsed concrete bridge in a national forest near the Nevada state line. Small packs of coyotes were keeping him from escaping the crushed car and shallow water, and it’s amazing he survived so long despite his huge size. Retired Army, he’s one of my kind, just a little too old for what I need the most.
Doug said a tremor took out the bridge while he was crossing it, and that made me decide to start keeping track of those things too. If the temperatures continue to drop - and this is wintertime, so they should - then we won’t make it to Montana before we have to hole up somewhere. That thought keeps me awake at night, even when the guilt isn’t burning into me. Where?
1/13/2013
Damn, I’m tired. These people are depending on me for everything and I’m encouraging it - showing them I can handle the weight - but between standing guard at night on third shift, rescue and supply runs during the day, and camp setups and breakdowns, I’m beat. I have to get the help, the magic my dreams hinted of last night. Will Fate send me what I need?
1/15/2013
Things are becoming so much clearer! My help is out there somewhere, and I even know what they’ll look like now, but where are they? If we’re all descended from the same bloodline, doesn’t that mean they can hear my calls for help?
We’ve spent the last two days in a mall, snowed in. The black flakes fell for almost twenty-four hours and left over five feet of nasty slush. I kept everyone inside until it was mostly melted. It felt evil, like maybe we would have been sickened by contact, and I really do wonder if Mother Nature might be helping mankind’s extinction along intentionally. It’s a crazy thought, but in this new hell, anything is possible.
1/20/2013
We heard foreign voices on an American military channel yesterday, and I moved the camp - ordered it. No one argued, and that makes it official for me. I’m the Boss. I know it’s because they were scared, the voices were calling for everyone to surrender to the Mexican Draft, but for me, it’s real now.
I’m in charge of 48 terrified, hurting refugees, and I’ve started wearing a radio system so that I can listen for trouble from that side too. Gangs are attacking towns in New Mexico and Colorado, the stories are awful, and many of my "sheep" are now survivors of two Wars. The threat of the Guerillas is a serious one that will require a harsh plan, and a lot of defensive work that these people will have to learn and help with.
They’ve had an easy ride so far, but soon that will have to change. The first mandatory meeting is coming up. Guess I’ll find out then if I’ve done enough for them to get their support and cooperation.
1/25/2013
They’ve agreed to all the things I wanted. We even have a name now: Safe Haven.
We set up the two big tents along with a center bonfire, in a big metal pool, and celebrated by barbecuing the chickens Doug found on a nearby farm. Tomorrow, I’ll show them the Mess truck a few of us quietly put together. It has it all, including a hot water heater, and since we have a cafeteria cook now, Hilda, we’ll have regular meals soon.
We also have more heaters and supplies on the way. Kyle and Neil found an undamaged sports store. I’m damn glad to have those two. They’ve both volunteered for the private and the public police force I’m starting, and I’ve decided to split them up, have them each lead their own team. Kyle started first and I’m encouraged, feel okay about sometimes leaving the camp in his hands on third shift.
These men will be trained not as everyday guards or even Marines, but as soldiers in My army. There will be no names that can separate them once I’ve finished.
1/26/2013
My leadership is official, and I can see some of them waiting for me to become like the politicians of the past, but I won’t use my authority unless I have to. I plan to keep giving them back some of what was stolen, and slowly, things will come together. I see a better time of it in the future, and look forward to the help my dreams keep hinting of. Five or six more like me will take us to better places…like Arkansas.
Adrian paused again, this time to listen to the wind, not sure if... he shook his head at the obvious shadow outside his flap. That would be Dale; he could tell by the way the hips wore a tool belt with no tools. The rookie was trying to pass his first level test and didn’t know he had already failed. The police force was very new. This group of nine men was only the second to try, and it wasn’t promising, but they were moving fast out of need.
Adrian frowned. It was a necessity that had been driven home by Tonya. She and Joe had been a couple, but the drunken man who was considered his unofficial second in command, had fallen further into hell the farther they’d traveled. To his credit, the drunk had stubbornly ignored the spiteful redhead when she encouraged him to fight for the leadership she and everyone else saw Adrian earning, but it hadn't mattered.
“Too late by then,” Adrian sighed.
He was in charge and Tonya hated it, mainly because he wouldn't give her the time of day, let alone any power. She had turned a hero into a drunkard, slept around on Joe in her quest for power, and tried to manipulate all of them, not understanding the loyalty she saw had to be earned, not stolen.
While Adrian had been busy with keeping them all alive, she had been plotting. Joe wasn’t going to get her what she wanted, and instead of breaking it off with him and moving on, she’d convinced one of her lovers to stage a fight over her while Adrian was out of camp on a supply run. Her motive? Adrian still wasn’t sure. Had she really thought the camp would just give Joe’s place to her lover? Adrian’s mind flashed back to the death, and his grip on the notebook tightened.
He knew by the unlit bonfire that something was wrong; how many had he lost?
Adrian followed the loud, male voice to the largest tent, sharp eyes seeing blood splatters and other signs of a fight. When he stepped inside the dim canvas, his arrival was noticed instantly.
“There’s The Man!” Caleb, a greasy, blood-streaked biker, growled. He waved his dirty knife toward the corner, where a reddish heap lay in the shadows. “One down, one to go!”
Adrian’s heart clenched with sorrow for arriving too late to save the man who had saved him. Then the anger, the rage, was flooding every space of his being. His people, his once-again terrified and cowering sheep, were all huddled in the back of the tent, watching with anxious, fearful eyes. Not about to challenge the lone killer, but clearly expecting him to. Fury like he’d never known filled Adrian. How dare someone try to steal his flock!
He drew his 9mm so fast n
one of them knew it was coming.
Bang!
The biker fell to the floor a second later.
“You have been found guilty and I sentence you to death!” Adrian roared over Caleb's moans. He grabbed the murderer by his jacket and brutally dragged him out of the tent, leaving a wide, bloody smear in the dirt and grass.
He roughly handcuffed the screaming man to the door of Joe’s lime green convertible and headed for a nearby supply truck, tossing the keys into the dirt just out of the killer’s reach.
“You can set him free when he’s dead,” Adrian snapped as he stepped into the truck. His mind raced furiously, knowing Tonya had done this - Caleb was one of her lovers, he’d seen them himself. She would pay!
Minutes later, Adrian stepped out of the tent with Joe’s stiffening body over one broad shoulder, a shovel and a bottle of Jack Daniels in his other hand. His sheep stayed with him as he dug the grave and got drunk, waiting with eyes that begged him to say he forgave them for not stopping it.
Point man when it happened, Neil’s face had been the most ashamed. No one had wanted to get involved, and Adrian’s voice was hard as he finished sinking the cross into the thick, ugly dirt, turning to look at them.
“I’m getting tired and there are survivors out there who still care enough to try again. If you guys can’t get it together enough to at least do what’s right, then I’ll find another group to help and you’ll be on your own again.”
Adrian closed the notebook, thinking the panic on their faces had been enough to tell him he had their support, their loyalty. Except for Tonya. Never one to follow blindly, her twisted logic had become clear when she’d come to Joe’s tent where he was getting drunk. She had begged him not to be banished, and he let her stay because of one simple sentence.
“If I had known Caleb was nuts, I woulda told someone!”
That had stopped him. He too had missed it, had let in a remorseless killer.
Because of Tonya’s lust for power, two men were dead and he couldn’t even punish her publicly due to his own strict rules concerning the treatment of women. Therefore, he’d devised his own line of justice, and tonight would be the climax, literally. After weeks of subtle flirting and making promises with his eyes, he was going to let her seduce him.
The savior and the whore.
The rest of the camp, having no idea of the game being played, had already begun to regard her as slightly crazy when she spoke of their relationship, and it amused Adrian to see the frustration burning in her eyes when he wouldn't back up her claims.
Tonya had been hiding ambitions of running this camp and having real authority. The power she had longed for with Joe was nothing compared to a position as Adrian's mate. In this war-torn land she would be a queen, not just a dumb chippy who had been selling her body to get where she wanted to be. And he knew the way her mind worked. She was sure that all she had to do was get him in bed. Every man who had ever slept with her had probably become her puppet, from teachers to bosses. He was to be her crowning…
Scratch…scratch…
Adrian grinned, setting the notebook aside. Revenge was best served cold and he’d waited for that reason. He could have had her the same day as Joe’s murder if he wanted, she was that callous.
“Come in.”
Tonya moved inside carefully, bright green eyes reading him, his mood. When he smiled, and leaned over to blow out the candle, she started pushing off her boots.
Barely lit by the shadows of the center fire, she didn’t see his smile merge into a greedy leer of lust and hatred. He was just as callous. She was about to learn that.
Tonya was in ecstasy already. Half an hour from now, she would be Adrian’s legal mate! She went to him eagerly in the darkness, determined to make sure he enjoyed himself. When he met her, hands jerking her close, she melted against him.
“Ooh... I’ve wanted ya so badly," Tonya moaned pressing closer to his hard, male body in the dark tent as the cold Utah wind beat against the camouflage vinyl.
Her light Southern accent was fake but sexy, and Adrian’s body throbbed with need.
Tonya groaned in delight as his mouth slanted over hers, his hands roughly roaming her soft body, finding she wore no panties to slow him down. He grabbed a handful of thick red curls and ground his hardness against her belly, thinking her pale skin and green eyes, combined with that Irish hair, easily made her the sexiest woman here.
Adrian pushed the camp whore down by her shoulder, pulling at her dress, and as she slid to her knees, her fingers went obediently to the buckle of his jeans. Her hands were like silk, and when her hot mouth closed over him, he arched forward, the sucking sensation incredible.
Her head began an aggressive up and down movement that sent heat rolling into his toes, and then he was pushing her back, following her down onto the cold, canvas floor.
Shoving forward before she was settled, he kissed her deeply; loving it that her gasps were not faked like some women he’d been with. He moved shallow at first, quick and light, and she climaxed fast, nails raking lightly down his shoulder, body tightening, pulsing, and exploding. Adrian thrust harder, dog tag clinking.
Tonya let her hands roam his hard, tanned skin and soft blond spikes. “We’ll be good together. I’ll be a good mate to ya,” she promised, moaning as he started long, hard strokes that slid her up on the floor and drew a surprising rush of wetness. Very few men could pull two from her.
Adrian tangled his rough hands in her thick, red curls and pushed in as deep as he could get, on fire as he watched the triumph and need melt together in her glowing green eyes.
“Finally mine!” she growled, giving him a chill, and she pulled his head down to kiss his full, sexy mouth.
Coming up for air, Adrian smiled cruelly, leaning his weight into each thrust. “Oh no, Baby. This is a one-time deal. Enjoy it.”
His breathing was harsh and he swelled, almost snapping when her eyes understood, but her body refused to listen, slender hips keeping perfect rhythm as he rutted between her long legs.
“You, Bastard!”
On the edge, Tonya pulled his head down for another hot kiss that shoved her into a world of rivers and light, but she began to struggle almost immediately and he let her. The pain in her eyes a bigger turn-on than even her mouth.
His hands kept her head still and Adrian ground their lips together, kissing her, touching her, mocking her as he thrust roughly.
Used to being the one who was cold and in control, Tonya was horrified to feel her traitorous body responding again, wanting his touch no matter the intent. She twisted, almost rolling them over.
Adrian dropped his full weight on her, making her cry out. “Be still!” he growled harshly, hips now pounding into hers. “You’ve begged for it enough!”
Her fists slammed into his shoulders and back, and he lowered his head to avoid telling marks on his face, enjoying the fight she couldn’t win. When her nails raked down his back, drawing blood this time, he shoved forward, grunting.
A final “Uhh!” and he was on his knees in a quick movement, seed spraying on her thigh as she scrambled to get away.
Adrian was up a second after her, very aware that this was the moment she might be her most dangerous. He bent over to pull up his jeans, unable to keep from grinning in satisfaction.
A thick medical book sailed over his head, slapped the side of the tent and slid down the canvas wall in front of him. He laughed, turning to watch her as he fished in his pockets for a smoke.
Tonya had jerked her dress over wild curls and was pulling on a calf high black boot, tears of rage blurring her vision as she sat on the neat floor. “You’ll pay for this! I’ll tell!”
Her fake accent was gone, and she snarled when his confident smile remained in place; his cold blue eyes full of remorseless pleasure. “You’re a whore. They already know that.”
“Even you can’t get away with rape!” she sputtered, clumsily pulling on her other boot.
Adrian shrugg
ed, watching her carefully. “Don’t know of any rape conviction where the woman got two orgasms before she started complaining.”
“If they knew what kind of man you really are, they wouldn’t follow you anywhere!"
Tonya stomped from the tent with sticky thighs and Adrian’s mocking voice following her out into the cold, windy air.
“But they don’t know, Red, and, from you, they’d never believe.”
Adrian returned to his notebook with a smirking look few in camp would have recognized. There might be a skirmish or two left, but the war between him and Tonya was over. She was an outcast, the camp treating her the way he did, and tomorrow, when she claimed they were sleeping together, he would deny such a nasty lie. It would drive her crazy that this time she was telling the truth, and no one would believe her.
Adrian’s smile faded. His leadership hadn’t been questioned once after Joe’s death, but later, when Neil had told him his quick, brutal execution of the killer had gotten him the camp’s final approval, Adrian had to stop himself from telling the Arizona State Trooper how morally wrong it was to earn respect by taking a life. It was a hard, new world, and they were all adjusting as best they could.
Sure would be easier with a few more of the good men his dreams had promised, Adrian thought, pulling on his boots. Just a few. He had a couple of go-to guys who showed promise, but frankly, he needed a lot more than those here could give.
Just after midnight now, it had been seven weeks since the War, and they were spending four days in the heavily wooded Fish Lake National Forest. Camped just below Milford, Utah, they were waiting for a small group of men to get back from a supply run to a nearby food warehouse. The storms had slowed them down.
