by Mia Brown
I could tell when he was ready for his orgasm. He changed his pace, the length of his strokes, and a short while later he emptied himself inside of me. I loved when he did, and I could feel him pumping.
When he finished, he slid out of me. He lay down on the bed.
“I’ll be right back,” I said, finding a shirt on the ground. I pulled it over my nakedness and ran to the bathroom to clean up.
When I came back, Ace lay with his eyes closed, but he reached for me when I got into bed and pulled me against him. He wasn’t sleeping yet, but with me in his arms, he fell asleep. I closed my eyes and did the same.
Twenty-Nine
Ace
When I woke up, I wasn’t hungover at all. I had a bit of a headache, but I didn’t feel nearly as shitty as I usually did after a night of drinking. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that Vanessa and I had been awake for a great deal of the night, so the alcohol had had time to work out of my system. Sex in the middle of the night was the best hangover cure, it seemed.
And it had been fantastic. Every time I was with Vanessa, it was different. It only got better and better, too. She was a stunner in bed, but we got closer every time, and this time it was as if we’d been on a different level. I didn’t know how she’d felt about it, but that was how I felt.
I got dressed, pulling on jeans. I didn’t bother with a shirt—I often walked around the ranch without one, and it was still early. I walked to the bathroom and splashed cold water on my face, taking two headache tablets for the remnants of our crazy night. I brushed my teeth and found my boots in the passage. I pulled them on before walking to the kitchen.
When I walked in, Andrew stood against the counter with legs wrapped around his waist. It only took a moment before I realized it was Alana who was sitting on the counter, her legs around Andrew, her arms around his neck and they were making out.
“Oh, God,” I said and laughed. I had forgotten that the two of them had hooked up last night.
“Shit, sorry bro,” Andrew said, untangling himself from Alana’s limbs and turning to look at me.
I laughed. “Never too early for that, I guess,” I said, thinking back to my and Vanessa’s escapades under the sheets in the early hours of the morning. “I think I’m going to take a walk around the garden, give the two of you a moment.”
Andrew scratched his head and cleared his throat. Alana didn’t know where to look. It was sweet to see the two of them so embarrassed. Not that they had anything to worry about.
“Don’t look so unsure, Andy,” I said.
“God, you never call me that anymore,” Andrew said.
I shrugged. “I’m saying don’t worry about you two doing whatever it is you’re doing. I’m not going to make it awkward for you.”
He grinned. “Thanks, man.”
Alana still looked unsure.
“I want you guys to be happy.”
They both smiled at me, and I knew that it was all that mattered. Apparently, Andrew had crushed on Alana for a very long time. Now that it had finally happened for them, I was so relieved Alana didn’t look at me anymore. I was glad for him. I was happy that he was happy. And he looked happier than I’d ever seen him. Considering everything we’d been through lately, that was a good thing.
I left the kitchen and walked outside. The morning air was crisp and fresh, the sun barely up. The ranch hands weren’t out and about yet. Almost everyone was still sleeping.
I thought about Vanessa again. She was naked and asleep in my bed. That made me happy—a carnal part of me had her exactly where I wanted her. But it wasn’t only that. Things seemed to be working out between the two of us, and that meant a lot to me.
When I was sure I’d left Alana and Andrew alone for long enough in the kitchen, I turned around and walked back inside. Alana was getting ready to start breakfast—something my mom had always done—and Andrew set out the placemats at the breakfast table for everyone. A pang shot through my chest. It was days like this—when the morning was fresh, and we were all in a good mood, family hanging in the air—that I missed my mom the most. These mornings had happened a few times since she’d passed, and it was weird that someone else was making the food now, that other people were taking care of coffee.
That she wasn’t around anymore.
Sorrow pulled over me like a blanket, and I felt myself sink lower and lower.
Alana came to me. She hugged me before she looked at me.
“We all miss her, Ace,” she said.
I looked at Andrew, who looked as sad as I felt, and he nodded. I wasn’t the only one that felt it, then. But we would get through this. The one way we kept my mom alive was to carry on her traditions and her routines. And with Alana cooking and Andrew setting out placemats, it was exactly what we were doing.
I walked to the coffee machine and set a bunch of mugs out. This was something she had done, too. I was going to join in and together, we could move forward by knowing where we’d been.
While we made food and coffee, we recalled last night. We laughed about the stupid things that had happened, the idiotic things we’d done.
“I haven’t had a night out like that in a while,” I said.
Andrew glanced at Alana. “Me either,” he said, and I knew he wasn’t just talking about the night but about what had happened with Alana.
“I have to go,” Alana said after she made sure breakfast was ready to dish up.
“Already? It’s so early,” Andrew said.
Alana nodded. “The idea wasn’t for me to stay over, and my mom needs me. I’ll see you guys later. Call me.”
Andrew nodded, and Alana hugged both of us before leaving.
“She stayed over?” I asked.
Andrew shrugged. “She’s always stayed over.”
I raised an eyebrow at him. “Somehow, I doubt it’s the same as when we were kids,” I said.
Andrew grinned, unable to help himself. I laughed, shaking my head. I didn’t want to know details.
“Are we calling in the others?” I asked. My mom had always cooked breakfast and lunch for everyone on the ranch, and we weren’t going to break tradition—not if we were following through with everything else.
“Not yet,” Andrew said. “I wanted to talk to you first.”
That sounded ominous. I eyed Andrew as he poured two cups of coffee for us and walked to the breakfast table. I followed him and sat down. Andrew pushed one mug toward me and took a sip of his own coffee.
“So?” I asked when he was silent for a while.
Andrew sighed. “I hate talking about this stuff when we’re doing so well with moving forward, but we have to go see mom’s accountant. Do you remember Marlene?”
I nodded. Marlene and my mom had worked together for as long as I could remember. I had never really liked her because she was stiff and humorless, but she knew what she was doing.
“I expected we would have to deal with this at some point or another,” I said.
Andrew nodded, and we sipped our coffee in silence for a while.
“There are accounts to sort out,” he said. “We have to find out where we stand financially, as well. I have no idea what the money looked like when Mom died. I supposed we should have been more involved with that, but it was always her thing.”
Andrew was right. We should have been more involved, especially toward the end. But there had been so much going on, and neither of us had wanted to sit her down and go through the finances when it had been her thing. It would have felt too final, and none of us had been ready to say goodbye. Now that we were forced to do it, though, it was a different story.
“If you set up an appointment, I’m there,” I said.
Andrew hesitated.
“What?” I asked.
“You’re not running away again?” he asked carefully.
I shook my head. “Not this time, bro,” I said. “I never should have left in the first place.”
Andrew nodded, and I wasn’t sure what I saw on
his face. He didn’t look upset, but he didn’t look happy, either.
“Spit it out,” I said.
He shrugged. “I don’t know, man. It’s so easy for you to go away and then come back and pick up where you left off like nothing happened.”
“It’s not like that,” I said.
“Then how is it? I stay behind to pick up all the pieces, and you waltz back like the prodigal son as if it’s nothing. Mom welcomes you back and boom, you’re co-owner with me when she dies as if you weren’t gone at all.”
I blinked at him. I could see where he was coming from. I had run away and left him behind. He was right. And I had come back as if nothing had changed.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I know what you mean. I couldn’t deal, then. But now, everything is different. I realized that by leaving this place, I’m losing them so much more than by staying.”
I didn’t know how to say it so that it made sense.
“If you want me to go—”
Andrew shook his head. “Don’t be an idiot,” he said. “I don’t want you to go. Fuck, you weren’t the only one hurting, but I was the only one left behind. I just want to know that you’re staying, that you’re serious about this.”
I nodded. “I’m more than serious about this. I want to stay. I want to be here until my dying day—just like Mom, just like Dad, just like our forefathers. I’m not going anywhere again.”
Andrew nodded. “Okay,” he said.
And just like that, we were okay. It was settled.
“We have to address the will at some point, too,” he said softly. God, that was the part that I dreaded.
“We do.”
“I’ll organize with Harvey for next week, so it can be over and done with, okay?”
I nodded. That would be the final goodbye, I thought. That would be the end. But it had to be done if we wanted to move forward with this ranch, and my parents—both—deserved that from us.
“Morning,” Vanessa said, coming into the kitchen. We both looked up, and I stared. She wore one of my shirts with her jeans instead of the low-cut top she’d had on last night, and she looked spectacular. There is nothing hotter on this earth than a woman wearing my clothes after sex.
“Well, you didn’t sleep in the bunkhouse,” Andrew said with a grin. He glanced at me. I couldn’t help but smile. Vanessa blushed bright red, and Andrew laughed. “Get yourself some coffee,” he said.
Vanessa filled one of the mugs and came to the table.
“Do you mind if we talk about one last thing?” Andrew asked. He meant with Vanessa here. I shook my head. She was part of the family, now.
Andrew took a deep breath. “I want to talk about Mom’s room. We have to sort it out at some point.”
I groaned. I had thought we were done with everything I would dread, but sorting out her things, bringing her back to life for a moment by going through her stuff, would be the worst.
“I can help if you like. Alana and I could do it? Sometimes it’s easier when women take care of a woman’s stuff.”
We both looked at her.
“Are you sure?” I asked.
She nodded. “I’d like to help.”
“That would be great, thanks, Ness.”
She grinned. “I haven’t been called that before.”
Andrew shrugged. “Well, there you go.” He looked at me. “If you want to move into her room, I won’t mind. I don’t want to, but you can.”
“You’re the oldest,” I said. “You should take the main bedroom.”
Ace shook his head. “I really don’t want to. I’m happy where I am. Really.”
The idea was horrible at first. It should have gone to Andrew, if anyone. But he had his reasons and after we had lost so much, I didn’t want to push him. I thought about my mom and dad, with my dad growing up with my room as his before his parents passed away and he made the main bedroom his own with his new wife. Maybe it wasn’t a bad idea. Moving forward, moving up, all that.
“I’ll think about it,” I said.
Andrew nodded. “What are we doing to do with her clothes?” he asked.
I had no idea.
“Can I make a suggestion?” Vanessa asked.
We both looked at her.
“What about donating them to a women’s shelter? They’re always in need of clothes, and it would be a good cause.”
I looked at Andrew, and we both nodded at the same time. I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.
“That’s perfect,” I said.
It was hard to say goodbye. It was hard to let go. But we were going to manage this and move forward. My mom wouldn’t haven’t wanted us to give up the fight. We would carry on the way she would have wanted, and we would make her proud.
Thirty
Vanessa
On Monday, Alana and I were in Jaclyn’s bedroom, going through her things. Sorting out someone’s things after they’d passed away wasn’t a party, but I’d offered so the boys wouldn’t have to do it.
And with the two of us together, it wasn’t so bad. It was easier for us than it would have been for them.
Ace and Andrew had gone through her clothes and taken a few items to put into storage for remembrance. The rest they had put out for us to sort. We went through it and boxed it up.
“I miss her,” Alana said.
I nodded. I missed her too, and I’d barely known her. Alana had grown up with her as a second mother, almost.
“Thanks for doing this with me,” I said. “I know it must be hard.”
Alana nodded. “It’s hard, but to be honest, it helps me. It’s closure for me in a way. I’ve always been the type to deal with things hands-on.”
Everyone here seemed to be that way except for Ace. Andrew handled things by taking care of it. Alana sorted things out. I didn’t know about Lance, but until recently, Ace had run away. I could see why they would feel like he deserted them. All that seemed to be a thing of the past now that he stuck around.
“How are things going with Andrew?” I asked.
Alana smiled, and it was sweet to see her react that way toward him. He had to be so happy, having had a crush on her for so long.
“Well, thank you,” she said. “I can’t believe I never noticed him.”
“It happens sometimes,” I said. “People that were right in front of our noses for so long can turn out to be our heroes.”
Alana nodded. Now that she and Andrew had a thing going, we were okay again. There was no animosity between us. It had had a lot to do with the tension of Jaclyn dying as well, though. I was glad that Alana and I were okay. She had become a better friend to me than anyone I’d met at the university. I had found unlikely friends in the oddest place, and I couldn’t be happier.
“Are you officially dating?” I asked.
Alana shook her head. “No, not yet. It’s so new, you know?”
I nodded. I knew what she meant. In a way, it was how I felt about Ace. But I wanted to date him.
“I think he’s going to ask me soon, though.”
She sounded more certain about it than I was. I envied her that.
“I’ve never asked you what you do,” I said. “It’s a bit far down the line, now, but where are you in the day, usually?”
“Oh, I work at the bank.”
“I wouldn’t have guessed that at all,” I said.
“No?” Alana laughed. “What, then?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. You’re one of the cowboys around here, you know? I imagined you working at a livery in town or something.”
Alana laughed again. “A livery?”
I shrugged. It sounded silly now that I’d said it. “Do you enjoy it, or would you rather work here full-time? You’re always here.”
Alana shook her head. “I’m here because of the boys. I grew up with them, and then I crushed on Ace, so I was always here to see him. Now that I have something with Andrew, I realize how much my crush on Ace was only silly infatuation, though. You know, a teenager
thing. It’s different with Andrew.”
I was glad to hear her say it. “I don’t blame you for wanting to be around here,” I said. “There’s something about this place that feels instantly like home. And it’s so easy to love the people—all of them.”
Alana nodded. “I’ve felt like that all my life, but I thought it might be because I grew up here.”
I shook my head. “It’s not just you.”
This was where I wanted to stay, I thought. I wanted to be here for as long as I could. And not only because of Ace—although he was the cherry on top—but because this place really was like home.
“So, you’re planning on staying on?” Alana asked.
I nodded. “For as long as they’ll have me, yeah,” I said. “I want to be a part of the ranch, of life here.”
“Well, you seem to be fitting in really well. I don’t see how they would cope without you. They won’t randomly ask you to leave.”
I hoped she was right. I wanted a permanent job on the ranch, even if things didn’t progress between Ace and me. I still wanted to stick around.
My phone rang, and my mom’s name flashed on the caller ID. I groaned.
“What’s wrong?” Alana asked.
“It’s my mother,” I said. We hadn’t spoken since the hospital, and things were still a little raw after Jaclyn’s death. But I couldn’t avoid her forever. She was my mother, after all.
I sighed and pressed talk, holding the phone against my ear.
“Are you going to avoid me forever?” my mom asked.
“No, Mom,” I sighed.
“I need to talk to you.”
I glanced at Alana. She was folding clothes, but she was listening. I didn’t mind, I had nothing to hide.
“You father and I have been talking. If you’re not coming home again—disowning yourself as our daughter—we’re not paying your student loans.”
I blinked. “What?”
“What, did you think you could decide to pull out of our family and walk away without any consequences?”
