by Mandy Rosko
Lois shook her head. “I still don’t think it was your fault, but I’m more interested in that other thing you just said.”
“I already told you I wasn’t following you for you.”
“But you did say you were on your way before you knew Anna was at my place. You were coming to see me?”
Dane’s pale green eyes flew wide, and then he shut them again before turning away. “Fuck me, I didn’t mean—” He stopped, as though realizing his mistake, and he turned back to her. “Wait, I didn’t say that at all. I said I got there first.”
“Too late, you just admitted you were coming to see me,” Lois said, smiling at her own cleverness. Then the glee of catching him in hiding was replaced with a softer, more humble sensation. “You were coming to see me.” It wasn’t a question. She was just stating a fact that made her feel pleasant and warm inside.
Dane rubbed the back of his neck. He looked like most men she’d seen when they were uncomfortable. Emotional talks usually did that, but this was the first time that Lois felt like she had about as much to lose as the person in front of her, like they were on the same page and just needed to make the other aware of it before they continued with their lives.
“I wanted…I wanted to explain. When I saw Joey grab you, I lost it. I did. I wanted to explain what that was. I didn’t want you to leave afraid of me.”
“I wasn’t afraid.”
Dane’s reply was soft. “Yes you were. That’s why you left.”
Lois’s stomach clenched. He was right. She couldn’t lie to herself or him about it. “I’m not scared of you anymore. I mean, I don’t think I ever really was. I was freaked out and scared in the moment, but when it was over, everything was just too much. Does that make sense?”
He nodded. “It does, and you don’t have to explain to me. Even if you were outright terrified of me, I wouldn’t have blamed you for it.”
“But I don’t want you thinking that I think you’re a monster. You piss me off a lot, and you’re frustrating as hell, but I don’t think badly of you.”
Dane smirked at her. “I’m frustrating as hell?”
“Shut up,” Lois said softly, smiling. She liked this. She liked feeling like she could banter with him, that everything was really all right and nothing had changed.
Talking to him like this was comforting, as though it was something she’d been doing with him for her whole life. She didn’t feel as hollow when they spoke like this.
“What’s going on?” Lois asked. “I mean, you said I’m not your mate, and it’s not like I have anything to compare that to, so maybe we’re not, but this feels like something, and I need an honest answer. I need to know what this is, because I really do feel like I’m going out of my mind when you’re not around.”
Dane was still rubbing the back of his neck. A bright red color rose up the front of his throat before he dropped his hand, as though he wanted to look at her full on, without any of the nervous signals. “You are my mate.”
Lois’s mouth dried instantly. There was no mistaking what Dane had just said. His voice had been clear, and the words were small enough that even her addled brain could make out the meaning.
He took her silence as a sign to continue. “I was married, before I met you. Her name was Emily. She was…she was the best. I think…I really think you would’ve liked her if you’d met her. She was…killed by poachers, by humans. Never much got along with humans after that.”
The shine in Dane’s eyes, the trouble he had speaking, and the way this strong man who had seen and done so much was having difficulty meeting her eyes now, spoke to Lois on so many levels. Everything inside her screamed out that she needed to go to him, put her arms around him and comfort him, protect him from the pain he was feeling.
But she couldn’t protect him from that sort of pain. It wasn’t the sort of thing she could chase away. She didn’t have that ability.
“I’m so sorry,” Lois said, just because she needed something to say, despite being one of the cheapest things anyone could say in response to hearing something as terrible as that.
Dane shook his head. He pinched the bridge between his eyes, as if trying to banish the coming tears, before he finally looked at her again. His smile wavered. “We keep apologizing for everything. I don’t think we’re getting anywhere like that.”
Lois didn’t know how to respond. She just stayed silent and waited for Dane to continue.
“I joined the Seals after that. Going through well over a year’s worth of boot camp can take your mind off your grief. I was good at what I did, and I killed a lot of bad guys, but they were never the ones who killed Emily. I had to leave when I realized I was starting to like it a little too much.” He clenched his jaw. “I think about the guys sometimes. I want to go back, but…” He trailed off, shaking his head.
Lois swallowed. “And now?”
Dane’s weak smile faltered. “Well, you saw that I do have a little trouble containing the bear from time to time. I wasn’t discharged just because of an injury I couldn’t explain to my team. I was getting to be dangerous. Garret was good, he helped me get my head out of my ass, keeps me in line when he needs to. I think the structure, having a leader, is good for me. I’m used to it after taking orders barked at me from being in the military, so I stick around.”
Lois sucked back a deep breath. “Was this why you hated me when you first met me?”
Dane shook his head. “I didn’t hate you. I just…didn’t trust you, I guess. I was stupid. I wasn’t healing because I was denying the pull between us that made us mates. I didn’t want you to be my mate, even though I felt a connection. If you hadn’t been so stubborn and stuck around, I don’t know what would’ve happened to me. I might still be in that bed trying to heal.”
“And Joey?” She had to know.
His eyes met hers, and she’d never seen more honesty in them than she did right now. “That’s when I knew. I mean, really knew. When the animal side makes a claim like that, then there’s not much chance of going back. It’s harder. You would probably have to be the one to do it since I don’t think I could. When I was in my bear shape, fighting with Garret, and he grabbed you, the animal side just completely took over. I didn’t see Joey pulling you out of the way of possible danger. I saw another male grabbing my mate, dragging her off. It wasn’t just me that panicked, the bear side did, too. I think the fear of how I lost Emily is still there on a primal level. I would have killed him if Garret hadn’t put me down.”
Lois shivered.
Dane laughed. “See? I’m scaring you again.”
“It’s not scaring me, it’s just a lot,” Lois said. “I’m not used to this. Please, you need to give me a little more credit than that.”
Dane gave her a long look, and then he nodded. “All right. That makes sense, but regardless of what’s been going on between us, my own stupidity, everything…that’s why I’ve been pushing you away, and why I went nuts out back. I was going to your place to explain it all, but it wasn’t to confront you with any of this either. I just wanted you to be aware.”
Lois didn’t understand. “Aware of what?”
“Of me,” Dane replied, as though it should have been the most obvious thing on the face of the planet. “Of what I’m capable of. My past, my baggage, and hang-ups. And your options. Matings can be broken off. It’s hard to do, but it can be done. You can still walk away. You don’t have to be stuck with me. I just wanted you to have that choice, knowing everything that I’m telling you now. That’s why I was going to your apartment. Then all that shit happened…”
They stared at each other, Lois processing while Dane awaited an answer.
“If you don’t want this life, I will understand,” Dane said, as though he needed to speak so there would be something in the air between them. “This life is dangerous. I’m dangerous. You’ve seen me a couple of times in my shifted forms to know that, and I don’t want you to choose to be with me because you feel sorry for me, or don�
�t feel safe. I will make sure you’re safe if you walk away.”
Lois didn’t want to walk away. Her feet were planted. “If…if I were to choose you right now, this life, could I still work? Could I still have my old life?”
Something flickered in Dane’s eyes. Maybe it was excitement. “Some of it. You just can’t go around telling people your mate is a were-bear.”
“I could still run my business? I mean, I don’t have to go underground in hiding or anything, right?”
“Yes, you can run your business and no, not really. We all live pretty much out in the open for the most part, as you’ve seen.”
“And you’re not choosing me because the mating is making you either, right?”
“I can’t be,” Dane said. “I tried so hard to stay away from you and couldn’t, even before I knew there was a mating pull at all. I wanted you before I was willing to admit how concrete this is for me. I need you.”
Lois swallowed hard over the ache in her throat. Her heart drummed loud enough that it was the only thing she could hear for several seconds. Those last three words made everything seem so much hotter. She felt like she couldn’t take in a proper breath for a moment.
She needed to continue before her throat totally closed up. “O-okay, last question, if you leave tomorrow to find Garret and Jax, you swear you’ll come back alive and not leave me here waiting?”
That flash of hope in Dane’s eyes turned into full-on possession and determination. Lois thought she saw a little of the bear inside the sudden glow of his eyes. “Nothing would keep me from you.”
Lois rushed into his arms, feeling them curl around her, strong and tight as she pulled his face down and pressed her lips to his.
21
Her mouth tasted sweet. Dane couldn’t be sure if she’d drank something sugary, or that was just his brain and body responding to the redhead in his arms.
God, he needed this. Dane hadn’t realized just how much he’d been holding back his most basic instincts. The instinct to take his mate as his. Now that he had her, he couldn’t understand how it was that he’d summoned the willpower to stay away.
Lois opened her mouth. The soft moan that escaped her throat when he slid his tongue between her lips was exquisite. His hands slid down and around, feeling the warmth of her body beneath her clothes, sliding over the curves of her hips and her ass before holding on tight.
He lifted her up, and those long legs worked their magic as they curled around his waist, just as they were meant to. He loved her legs, and he loved the weight of her in his arms as he carried her to his bed.
When they fell down upon the sheets, a tangle of limbs, Dane had a brief second of hesitation, then it was gone. No more hesitating. No more doubts. Just taking. That’s what mattered. That was the only thing that mattered.
And he took.
There was something about making love with clothes still half on, tangled around their ankles as he slid into her and she arched back up to meet him, that made this seem almost forbidden, like they were sneaking something in they maybe shouldn’t.
Considering he would be leaving in the morning to find his friend and bring him home, if he hadn’t been ambushed and was alive, Dane could perhaps understand the nature of that feeling.
He didn’t want it to be entirely like that, as delectable as it was to suck on her perfectly pink nipples and have her slim fingers grasping into his hair and pulling tight when the pleasure became too much.
He had to pull back with a laugh. “Keep doing that you’ll be mated to a bald man.”
Dane honestly couldn’t tell if the blush on her face was because he was still inside her when he said it, or because of the joke he made.
But at least she was still smiling. “Sorry. If it makes you feel better, I think you’d make a very handsome bald man.”
Christ. Why did she have to go ahead and say something as corny and awesome as that?
He kissed her again, rocking into her because there was no way in hell he could hold still for long. Not when her body had that velvet tight grip on his cock.
Dane wasn’t a romance novel reading kind of guy, but if he was, he was willing to bet there was some flowery, sweet, lyrical prose to describe the way she felt around him. He didn’t know what any of those words would sound like, but he was willing to bet they wouldn’t be enough. She felt too amazingly good for anything other than perfection to have any sort of impact.
Just as he felt the building pressure of his orgasm swelling beyond the point of no return inside himself, Dane became aware of something inside his body changing. Something clicked, and he knew what it was when Lois’s thighs tightened around Dane’s hips, and her sex clenched sweetly around his shaft.
As he followed her over the edge, pumping hard inside her, but his erection still stiff, pulsing, and raring to go for another round, Dane realized exactly what this was.
The mating heat. Garret had described having this with Miranda. Most alphas did have one. Dane hadn’t expected it. He’d figured because he’d already been mated once to Emily that he wouldn’t have a mating heat again.
That seemed stupid now as his nerves tensed and fired all over his body.
They were demanding more. He needed more, and he was going to take it.
Lois moaned as Dane rolled onto his back, taking her with him so she was on top, but he didn’t stay lying down. He sat up, kicking his jeans off his ankles and pulling away the shirt that was still over Lois’s head and one arm. Her bra was trapped, strung around her shoulder at the strap because of that.
Lois panted for breath, breasts heaving in the light of his room. There was nothing better looking than a redhead with a full body blush. “God, what’s happening?”
Dane reached down to the side, grabbing at her jeans and panties, which were still hanging off one leg, and pulling them away so they were finally, blissfully, naked in bed.
“Mating heat,” he said, kissing her chest just above her breast. “Sorry. Didn’t think this would happen to us.”
“Is it bad?”
Dane blew a raspberry against her skin with the ridiculous question. “No,” he laughed. “Trust me, it’s a good thing. It’s just going to take a couple of hours to get this out of our systems. You’re going to be really tired by the end, and probably really sick of sex.”
Even as he explained this, Lois didn’t have the patience to wait for him to finish. She was already biting her lower lip, canting her hips against Dane’s cock inside her, riding him and making small, pleasurable mewling noises that were making Dane react, too.
“C-can’t see myself getting sick of this, to be honest.”
She would, but the mating heat meant she wouldn’t lose her taste for sex with him for more than a few hours. Days at most.
It wouldn’t be torture to be away from her while they were going through their mating heat, but it would be uncomfortable as all hell, for Lois especially, because she was a human and wouldn’t know the extent of her discomfort. She hadn’t been taught to expect this one day.
Dane didn’t let himself linger on those thoughts. He couldn’t. He had his mate here with him, and that was the only thing that mattered as she held him, riding him, into the night as they finally made their claim on each other.
22
Dane could tell how much Lois wasn’t enjoying the idea of this. It wasn’t just the fact that he’d be away from her when she needed him to be close either. She was worried for him.
He could tell by the way she squeezed her arms around his neck, as though she didn’t want to let him go. Thank God she was a tall woman so he didn’t have to bend down too much. Even if she was four feet tall, there was something incredibly comforting about knowing she would be waiting for him when he came back.
“Stay safe,” Lois said into his neck.
Dane squeezed her a little tighter, nodding. “I will.”
“I mean it.”
The worry in her voice, the soft tremble, was impossible to ignor
e.
He kissed the side of her mouth. “Of course I’m coming back. You just got me. You think you can get rid of me that easy?”
The more he made this out as though it was just another patrol, as though it was something alphas did all the time, the more he hoped his mate swallowed the notion and wouldn’t be waiting up for him.
Aside from her need for sex, he didn’t want her up at night thinking about him. He didn’t want her worried.
As for the sex, last night they’d rutted, made love, rutted some more, and made love again after that, until it was technically morning. Dane was leaving late because of that. It was almost seven-thirty.
He and Lois had both damn near passed out from the exhaustion of the mating heat. Dane didn’t think he’d have anything left to give her for weeks, and Lois was thanking God for the chance to finally relax and rest.
Immediately after waking, however, Lois was pulling him back onto her, and Dane was more than willing to take her again.
They’d made love, then had another quickie in the bathroom, and it was obvious that wasn’t going to last either of them for long. It was going to be embarrassing running through the woods with his dick hard, but thankfully, for now, Dane’s cock was behaving itself. Since he was planning on shifting, there was no need for clothing as he said his goodbyes.
Miranda and several of the other omegas and younger betas stood in front of the house, the males wanting to keep a fair distance from Lois since they could now smell Dane’s claim on her, and how they were both still in heat.
Dane turned to them. “You are all to protect each other, obey the mate of the alpha, and keep this house and the territory running smoothly when Garret returns. Any arguments?”
No one moved, no one said anything. A silent agreement.
Miranda approached him first. She was new to being a shifter, so she wasn’t aware of all the rules of etiquette or even what her instincts were telling her half the time, but she seemed hesitant to get close. She had to know what Dane and Lois had been doing all of last night, so maybe it was the fact that she’d gone through a mating heat of her own that made her sensitive to how Dane and Lois couldn’t fully get theirs out of their system just yet.
