by Kim Loraine
“A . . . A few days ago. I haven’t even told Mom yet. We thought . . . this time . . . it’s not fucking fair.”
“Where’s Roxie?”
Alex took a shuddering breath. “She’s still in the hospital. It was bad.” He paused, then in a choked voice said, “It was a girl. We were going to tell Mom and Dad at Christmas. Roxie thought it would be a great present.”
“Okay. I’m on my way. I’m off all day tomorrow. Mitchell and I are going to pack up and we’ll be there in a few hours. You just hang tight.”
“Thanks, Mike. I don’t know . . . I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
After hanging up, he let out a heavy sigh and ran his hand over his jaw.
Donovan’s voice rang out across the parking lot. “Hey, Oliver. Get over here and help me with all of this shit.”
Bracing himself, he popped the trunk and turned to face his friend. “Sorry. Thanks for your help.”
As they loaded the bags into the car, Donovan sighed. “What’s happened now? You look like someone kicked your puppy. Was that really Alex on the phone, or did Lena just extend her stay in Japan?”
The thought of Lena staying in Japan any longer than planned sent a knife through his heart. It was already harder than he’d thought it would be just being away from her now.
“It was really Alex. He’s . . . he’s got some shit happening. I’m heading to Richmond as soon as I pick up Mitchell.”
“You want me to tag along? Sully’s not on shift either. We could caravan over, get Alex out of his head for a while.”
Michael let a slight smile curve his lips. “Nah. Thanks, though. This one’s strictly family stuff.”
“Fine. Just remember, he’s always going to be part of the fire family, even if he’s not at the station anymore.”
“I know that, but he could probably use a reminder. I’ll tell him.”
It made him feel good to know that his firehouse brothers would be there for him and for his family. He only hoped he’d never need their help again.
“Lieutenant, there something going on with you? You’ve been more moody than usual, if that’s even possible.” Klipper stared dubiously at the recipe in front of him as Michael grabbed a cutting board and knife.
Shrugging, he started chopping the carrots, potatoes, and onions for the stew he’d planned on making for dinner. The crew loved a hearty meal, and when Michael was on duty he was the house cook.
“Huh, well, you need to talk, my door is open.”
“Thanks, Klip.” He continued focusing on the carrots as Klipper pulled out the two slow cookers and plugged them in.
“Who’s the kid you been hanging around with?”
Michael’s shoulder’s stiffened. He still hadn’t told anyone else about Mitchell even though he knew it was only a matter of time before they found out. He shouldn’t be surprised, but he wasn’t ready for this conversation. Knowing he couldn’t avoid answering, he set the knife down and turned to face his friend. “My son.”
Klipper’s mouth dropped open. “Are you shitting me? When did you knock some chick up? Oh, fuck, Lena can’t be too pleased with this development.”
So many things raced through Michael’s head, but Lena was the main focus. Klip was right. Lena hadn’t had a chance to tell him how she felt. He hadn’t given her a choice. But how do you choose between your wife and your kid? “It’s, uh, he’s the reason Kate was calling.”
“No fucking way. Kate? It’s been years, man. Why did she wait so long?”
He’d been over and over that same question in his own mind. Not wanting to rehash it, he pushed past Klipper and made for the refrigerator, pulling out the roast and tossing it on the counter. “Doesn’t matter. He’s here for another week.”
“Shit.” Klip ran a hand through his shaggy hair. “You got it under control?”
A smile spread Michael’s lips as he cut the meat into cubes and started browning them. “Yeah. He’s staying with my mom and dad when I’m on shift, but he likes cars, plays with Legos, and eats pretty much everything I put in front of him.”
“Wow, you’re a fucking dad. That’s crazy.”
“Yeah. Fucking insane. He’s such an awesome kid, though.”
Klipper poured himself a cup of coffee. “So, when do we get to meet him? You know he’s a part of the family now.”
Shrugging, Michael threw the cubes of roast into the slow cookers, then added herbs and broth before topping each one with vegetables. It seemed like such a monumental step to introduce Mitchell to the boys at the station. That would make it even more real.
“I don’t know. I think I want to give it some time. He’s just getting used to my family. After we get through this first stay, I’ll think about bringing him by. Kate and I have a lot of shit to talk through.”
It was surprising how cool Klip was being. The guy was usually a wise ass, ready to fuck with anyone for any reason. The serious side of him only came out on rare occasions.
“Let me know if you need anything, man. This is a big fucking deal.”
“I will. Thanks, Klip.”
The alarm blared to life just as Michael set the timers on the slow cookers. The two of them raced out to their waiting gear and piled into the engine with the rest of the crew. Another structural fire, this time clearly intentionally set. Luckily, the building was empty when they got there, and as Klipper and Donovan manned the hose, he assessed the scene, double-checking for signs of any potential dangers to his crew.
The building smoldered, sending curls of acrid smoke into the air.
“One day this bastard is going to get someone killed,” Klipper muttered, as they loaded up and got back on the road.
“He already did.” The crew went silent and all eyes fell on Michael. “We’ve got to do something to stop this shit. The police aren’t doing a damn thing.”
Donovan coughed and looked away. “Sorry, Michael.”
Shaking his head, Michael pushed the anger aside. “This stupid fucker is the reason John died. He’s getting cocky. He’ll get caught sooner or later. I just don’t want anyone else to get hurt.”
The crew remained silent for the rest of the drive back to the station. Tension sat heavy between them for the rest of the shift.
He watched the clock as the minutes ticked by, waiting for the new crew to come on and relieve them of duty. He wanted to get home, shower, and pick up his son.
As he headed to his car, Klipper jogged behind him. “Lieutenant, wait up.”
“What’s up, Klip? I’ve got to get Mitchell from my mom.”
“I just wanted to say I’m sorry for what I said. I didn’t forget about John. It’s been almost three years, it isn’t as fresh in my mind.”
Gritting his teeth, Michael took a deep breath. “I get it. It’s always going to be fresh for me. He shouldn’t have even been there.”
“It’s not your fault.”
Raking a hand through his hair, he shook his head. “Klip, you can say that all you want, but we all know if I hadn’t traded shifts with him, he’d still be here.”
“Don’t put that shit on yourself, Mike. You can’t change it.”
“I know. Fuck. I know.”
His chest hurt. This was shit he didn’t talk about with anyone. Even Lena only had the slightest glimpse of his struggle.
Klipper turned concerned eyes on him. “You call me if this shit gets too strong of a grip on you.”
All Michael could do was dip his head in a nod.
“I’ll see you in a couple days, Lieutenant.”
As Klip walked away, Michael rubbed at the back of his neck with one hand while opening the door to his car. He needed Lena to be home. Today had turned into one of those shifts he wanted to forget by burying himself in her beauty. Ins
tead, he had to hope for a brief text or maybe a video call. The engine turned over with a satisfying purr and he pulled into traffic, eager to wash the grime of this shift off his body.
His phone rang as soon as he pulled into his driveway and he answered without looking at the screen.
“Lena?”
“Uh, no. It’s Kate.”
His stomach clenched as confusion swirled through him at her voice. Even now, she still affected him.
“Hey, what’s going on?”
“I just wanted to check in. You didn’t call yesterday.”
“Oh, shit. I was on duty. Mama was supposed to have Mitch call you. Did she forget?”
A bitter laugh floated over the line. “I’m sure she knew exactly what she was doing. She hates me.”
“I’m sure she doesn’t hate you.”
“Michael, she hates me. I left you at the altar. Any mother worth her salt would hate me for doing that.”
“True. Still, that doesn’t mean she should keep Mitchell from you.”
Kate sighed. “I’m out of here in a week anyway.”
Dread clutched at his gut. He wasn’t ready to share Mitchell with her. “Right. So, uh, I guess we need to talk about custody.”
“Look, I don’t want to get lawyers involved. Can we come up with something mutually beneficial?”
“Like what? I can’t afford to fly back and forth to see him. I doubt you can either.”
“Actually, I was thinking about moving us to Golden Beach. Or somewhere close. I’ve got a job lined up in Norfolk. Maybe we could have joint custody? We could work around your duty schedule.”
“You’d do that?”
She cleared her throat. “Honestly, I think he needs a dad. I’m getting better, but I’m still a screw up. He needs more than me. He deserves it.”
“Kate.” His voice was thick with emotion. “I’d love that.”
“Do you think you could help me find us an apartment?”
“Of course. Yeah. You guys can stay with me until we get you settled.”
“You don’t think your wife will mind?”
Lena. Fuck. He hadn’t even thought about her. “I’ll talk to her as soon as I can. She won’t be back for another three weeks anyway. That’s probably plenty of time to find you guys a place.”
“Thank you, Michael.”
His gut churned as he hung up. What had he just done? He highly doubted Lena would be okay with him sharing a house with his ex. Typing a quick message to her, he hit Send.
I need to talk to you.
A text came back immediately.
Message failed to send.
“Fuck.”
Chapter 17
The lights in the house were on when Lena’s cab pulled up. Michael had duty, she’d been sure of it. Nervous energy flowed through her. He must be home. She was a week and a half early, excited to surprise him, but she’d planned on making him breakfast and greeting him in nothing but a robe when he came home in the morning. As she let herself inside, the sound of soft laughter filled the room. A woman’s soft laughter. Her chest tightened as the weight of the situation settled over her. A sigh floated down the hall.
No. No. No.
Stalking toward the sound, her jaw dropped when she saw Kate tangled up with Michael on the living room floor.
“What the hell?” she asked, her voice shaking in disbelief.
Michael’s head popped up, eyes wide, face smiling. The grin slipped when he saw her. “Baby? What are you doing home?”
“Are you kidding me? I wanted to surprise you. Consider me the one surprised.”
Turning on her heel, she walked back to the front door and her waiting bags. Hearing a muffled, “Shit,” from Michael, she knew he was coming after her. Sure enough, the sound of his footsteps followed her as she grabbed her suitcase and stepped outside.
“Baby, wait.” He had her in his arms before she could get down the porch steps. “We were playing Twister. Mitchell was right there.”
“What is she doing here?” she asked, her voice muffled by his chest.
“I tried to text you a bunch of times. She and Mitchell are moving here. I said they could stay in the guest room until they got settled.”
“They’re moving here?” How was she going to deal with this?
“Yeah. Kate wants me to be in Mitchell’s life. She got a job in Norfolk.”
“So, you’re letting the woman who crushed you waltz back into your life. No questions asked? Who’s to say she won’t do it again? This time taking Mitchell with her.”
His gaze hardened as he stepped away. “I can’t abandon him. That’s not who I am.”
“You didn’t even take a second to think about what I would be okay with, did you? I bet you told her she could stay in our home without a single care about how I feel. Do I get a say in all this or were you just going to tell me how it’s going to be?”
The guilt in his eyes broke her heart. She’d been pushed to the backseat. Kate and Mitchell were already riding shotgun.
“I’m only back for a few weeks. I wanted to spend them with you. Rhett and I got an assignment in South America. It’s only a month this time.”
Hurt flashed over his features. “Again? You’re going to leave again?”
She sighed, annoyed and frustrated. “This is my job. This is who I am. You knew that. You said it wasn’t an issue. Just like I knew you were going to risk your life every hour you’re on shift.”
“Dammit, Lena. I’m sorry. There’s so much happening right now. I don’t know what to do. I need you here to help me navigate.”
Even though his words sent a wave of longing through her, she stiffened and pulled her keys out of her pocket. “I’m going to spend the night with my mom. Maybe Kate should be your navigator for a while.”
As she opened the garage, she sucked in a harsh breath when she saw the booster seat in the back of her car, along with a cardigan and a bag of half-eaten chips.
“You let her use my car?”
His cheeks reddened. “She’s buying one next week.”
“Fuck you, Michael.”
After pulling the booster seat out of the back, she slammed it on the hood of his precious Impala and tossed the bag of chips on the garage floor.
“Baby, please don’t do this.” He started toward her but she held up a hand.
“Get away from me. I’m so mad right now, I can’t be held responsible for what I’ll do.”
With a hard slam of the car door, she pulled out of the garage and headed down the dark driveway to her mom’s house. Her heart hurt, her eyes burned, and she wanted to scream. Everything had fallen apart.
“I’m sorry, Michael.” Kate’s soft voice broke through his thoughts as he stirred his coffee the next morning. “I didn’t realize Lena didn’t know we were here. Still, it was a little immature of her to freak out like she did.”
Shaking his head, he took a sip and grimaced—it was cold. “It’s my fault. I should have tried harder to get in touch with her. I thought you guys would be gone by the time she came home.”
He sounded like a dick. Hiding Kate and Mitchell from Lena as if he were a cheater. As he popped his mug into the microwave, he tried to think about ways he could make it up to his wife.
“Well, I just heard from the apartment manager. We can move in tomorrow. They were just waiting to get the carpets cleaned. You can let your wife know we’ll be out of her space.”
Too little, too late ran through his head. He knew he’d fucked up badly. Lena was already struggling with abandonment issues. Now, in her eyes, he’d replaced her.
“Good.”
Kate’s face fell. “Wow, good to know you won’t miss us.”
Anger bubbled up in his che
st. “I’ll miss Mitchell. I can’t say I’ll miss you, Kate. He’s the only reason you’re here at all.”
“What happened to you? You used to be so easy going.”
A bitter laugh escaped before he could control it. “You happened. You left me, my brother died, my parents lied to my brothers and me, take your fucking pick.” Mitchell’s laughter filled the living room as he watched a movie on television. “You know what? I’m going to take him out for breakfast. Then we’re going to stay the night with my parents. You can have the house to yourself. Pack up your stuff. I’ll help you move tomorrow.”
She opened her mouth as if to argue, but he walked away from her, heading for the little boy in his living room.
“Hey, buddy. Want to go spend the night with Grammy and Papa?”
Mitchell’s wide brown eyes turned up to face him. “Yeah! Can we make sand castles again?”
“Sure. Let’s go get your stuff packed. We can go get waffles and pick out some flowers for Grammy.”
He jumped up and ran down the hall, Michael following close behind, not letting his gaze connect with Kate’s as he passed.
The Windsurfer was busy, as usual, when Michael and Mitchell walked in. Up until now, he’d kept his son under wraps for the most part. They’d spent a lot of time on the beach at his family home as well as hanging out on his property. He didn’t want to face the questions, the judgment, and the curious glances he knew they’d get out in town. As they sat at the only empty booth in the place, Michael could feel the eyes on him. The hair on the back of his neck stood on end and his skin heated uncomfortably.
“I’m going to get hot chocolate, Daddy!” Mitchell yelled at full volume.
The waitress chose that moment to stop in front of their table. “Holy crap, Michael, you’ve got a kid?”
Michael took in her shocked expression. Fucking small towns. “Yeah, Missy. This is Mitchell.”
A sweet smile spread over Missy’s lips as she bent down to get closer to Mitchell. “Hey, there. You sure are a handsome guy. Like your daddy.”
