by Chris Taylor
“I’m sorry, Clayton. I’m so sorry,” she cried, her ragged voice muffled against his shirt.
“Hey, it’s okay, darling. We’ve talked about this. It wasn’t your fault. Don’t think for an instant I blame you. Everytime I think about the way I treated you—even before Olivia was taken—I’m overcome with shame. I’m the one who’s sorry.” He shook his head. “I don’t know what I was thinking, letting Olivia behave like that. You love her more than I ever hoped—as much as you love our boys. I should have supported you during the times when she lashed out at you. It wasn’t fair and it wasn’t right and I’ll never let that happen again.”
Ellie lifted her head off his shoulder, her eyes red and swollen from her tears. She stared at him, her expression one of sadness that warred with hope. Clayton’s heart clenched at the pain in her eyes, the agony of it made worse because he knew he was the cause.
Framing her face in his hands, his voice cracked with emotion. “I can’t change what’s happened, but I promise you with everything that I am that I’ll make it up to you. I promise from now on we’ll deal with Olivia and her needs together, united as one. She’s our daughter and we love her, but you’re my wife and I love you more than anything in the world.”
“Oh, Clayton,” Ellie gasped. Another wave of tears sparkled in her eyes, but a tiny, trembling smile tugged at her lips, chasing the pain away. “I love you so much.”
Tilting her chin upwards, he leaned down and brought his lips to hers. She melted against him, her mouth moving under his, matching the desperate passion that coursed through him.
His arms pressed her tightly against him. He kissed her like a starving man, silently vowing never to let anything come between them again.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Tuesday, January 30, 1:22 p.m.
Lane pulled back the curtain in the living room for what felt like the hundredth time and checked the street below.
Nothing.
He’d spoken to her more than an hour earlier. She should have been there by now. Perhaps she’d taken down the directions wrong? Perhaps she’d gotten lost? Perhaps she’d simply changed her mind?
With a groan, he turned away, unable to believe the state he’d gotten himself in. What the hell was he? A randy teenager? Anyone would think he was on his first date, about to go all the way for the first time.
He wiped sweaty palms on the shorts he’d hastily donned and tried to think of something else. The fact that she hadn’t called was good news, right? Surely, if she were lost or had changed her mind, she’d call him. It was just plain good manners and she struck him as someone who believed manners were important.
He looked around his condo and was grateful he’d taken the time to tidy up a bit. The pile of clothes he’d cast on the floor had been deposited into the laundry hamper, along with his wet towel and last week’s newspapers had been tidied away off the couch. He’d even put on a fresh pot of coffee.
A knock at the door drew his attention and his heart stuttered. He wiped his hands again on his shorts and hurried forward to open it.
She was wearing another floaty kind of dress, this time in a bluey-green color that highlighted the golden tones of her skin. Her full lips sparkled with burgundy lipstick. Her smile was shy and hesitant.
“Hi,” she said and her gaze skittered away.
“Hi to you, too.” Heat crept up his neck. He cleared his throat and then turned abruptly and headed back inside. “Come in,” he threw over his shoulder and escaped into the hall.
Get a hold of yourself, mate. What the hell are you doing? She’s just a girl. So what if you like her more than any other girl since Sonia Bullan in the fifth grade? She’ll go running for her life if you don’t stop acting so weird. Now, get a grip.
Lane drew in a deep breath and turned to face her. “I’m sorry. Can we try again? I’m…I’m a little nervous.”
Her face filled with relief. She smiled again, this time with more confidence. “Really? I thought it was only me.”
He grinned and moved closer. “Nope. I’m so nervous I have sweaty palms and I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve had to visit the bathroom. How’s that for impressive?”
She laughed outright and the light sound of it went straight through him, exciting him on so many levels.
Her smiling gaze met his. “I’m so nervous, I took the wrong turn like…five times and I have a state-of-the-art navigation system mounted on my dash. How’s that for lame?”
“I wondered what was taking you so long.”
Her smile widened and she ducked her head in an effort to conceal the blush that stole across her cheeks. Lane’s heart clenched. God, she was beautiful.
“Can I get you a drink? Tea? Coffee? Something stronger?”
“Coffee would be great. It smells good.”
Lane moved into the kitchen, inordinately pleased when she followed him. He pulled two mugs out of the cupboard. “How do you take it?”
“White with one, thanks.”
He frowned and opened another cupboard, hunting around inside for the sugar. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had someone over who’d asked for it. He grimaced when he realized he had none and turned toward her with a sheepish smile on his lips.
“I’m sorry, but it looks like I’m all out. Sugar’s not something I use a lot of.”
She smiled back at him and his heart did another somersault. “That’s fine. I’ll do without.”
“Great.”
Striding over to the fridge, he pulled the door open and came up short. The shelves were decidedly bare. Oh, hell, he didn’t have any milk. With cheeks flaming, he faced her again and slowly shook his head.
“Let me guess, you don’t have milk, either. Right?”
Grimacing, he nodded.
“Well, I guess I’ll take it black.” She grinned mischievously. “Let’s start again, shall we? Hi, Lane, great to see you. I’d love some coffee. Black would be great.” She turned her face up to him, her eyes glinting with laughter. “How did I do?”
He tried not to laugh, but despite his best efforts, it burst out anyway. “Good. You did good. And you wouldn’t believe it, but it’s your lucky day. Black coffee I can do.”
Their gazes locked. For the life of him, he couldn’t look away and it seemed, neither could she.
The silence between them lengthened. Her eyes went wide. Then lips parted. The smallest sliver of pink tongue peeked outside and swept across them. His heart thumped. Blood rushed to his groin.
“Zara?” His voice had turned husky with need.
Her chest rose and fell more quickly, with excitement or apprehension, he couldn’t tell. But then she took a step toward him, her gaze still on his.
“I want you, Lane.”
It was the only encouragement he needed. In two long strides, he closed the distance between them and took her in his arms. Crushing her to him, he lowered his lips to hers, groaning aloud as he finally tasted the softness of her lush mouth. His arms tightened around her.
“Oh, God, you taste so good.” He angled his mouth and increased the pressure. His tongue glided over her lips, seeking entry. She gave it freely and he slid his tongue inside her mouth and relished the warmth and softness that met him. She tasted as good as he’d imagined. Better.
Anticipation surged through him and pulsed hot and hard through his veins and immediately centered in his cock. He pressed his erection against her and was gratified when she leaned into him and her arms crept around his neck.
Fire ignited in his groin. He kissed her harder, more urgently. His hands tugged at her clothing, loosening the belt at her waist. It came free and he started on the row of little white buttons that began at her neckline and ran down the length of her dress. His fingers slipped and fumbled and he cursed aloud.
Zara laughed and dipped her head, a blush stealing into her cheeks. “Here, let me,” she murmured.
He gazed at her hands, fascinated by the daintiness of her fingers, each na
il painted a soft, pearly pink. The buttons opened one by one. Each time one was released, a little more of her smooth, tanned skin was exposed. When she was done, he pushed the dress off her shoulders. It pooled at her feet.
He stared at her.
“You’re so beautiful.”
When her blushed deepened, warmth spread through him. His heart filled with tenderness.
“You look like you don’t believe me,” he whispered and brushed a strand of black hair off her face.
She lowered her head, her face hidden behind a curtain of silky, dark hair. “My father’s the only man who’s ever called me beautiful and everyone knows that doesn’t count.”
Lane shook his head in disbelief. “What about all your past boyfriends? Were they blind?”
Zara dropped her gaze. “To tell you the truth, there…there haven’t been that many who’ve been in a position to comment. I-I haven’t exactly been a social butterfly. My boyfriends have been fairly thin on the ground. I guess I’ve spent most of my adult life either at university or at work.”
Lane couldn’t help the surge of surprise and contentment that flooded through him. A rush of protectiveness rushed through his veins. He wrapped his arms around her and drew her close. “I knew right from the start you were special,” he whispered against the softness of her hair.
* * *
Zara breathed in the warm, manly scent of him and tried to quell her nerves. As much as she wanted this, wanted him, she was scared her inexperience would show and would turn him off.
Not that he seemed to be concerned at the moment, if the rock hard erection against her belly was any indication—but all they’d done was kiss. It might be a different story once they were completely naked.
As if sensing her shyness, Lane pulled back and looked down at her with tenderness and concern.
“Are you sure you’re all right with this? We don’t have to. We can go back to having coffee.” He smiled.
She drew in a breath and shook her head. “No, I want to. I-I think I’ve wanted to from the moment I saw you.”
His eyes darkened with desire and he growled low in his throat. Taking her once again in his arms, he pulled her up tight against him and kissed her softly, teasingly, on the mouth. Desire rekindled in her belly and the ache between her legs intensified, helping to chase the nerves away. She put her arms back around his neck and clung to him, enjoying the pressure of his lips on hers.
Needing to feel the warmth of his skin, she slid her hands down his chest and tugged at the ends of his T-shirt. It came out of the waistband of his shorts and she pushed it up over his head, loving the feel of his taut chest muscles beneath her fingers.
She skimmed over one of his nipples by accident and he gasped. The flat, brown nub pebbled and she was overwhelmed by a sudden surge of satisfaction. She’d never felt so powerful before, so in control. She couldn’t quite believe a man who looked like a movie star could find her so desirable. His response gave her the confidence she needed.
Reaching around behind her, she undid the clasp on her bra and let the scrap of black lace fall to the floor. She was immediately rewarded by a flash of desire in Lane’s eyes that darkened them to an earthy green. He pulled her hard against him and she sighed at the feel of his warm, firm skin against hers.
“God, you feel so good.” Lane nuzzled the side of her neck. She shivered from the contact and tightened her arms around him, crushing her breasts against his chest.
He groaned again and his hands reached down to cup her bottom and lift her up against his erection. Liquid fire pooled between her legs and she moved restlessly against him. Need had built up deep inside her, a need that only he could satisfy.
“Make love to me, Lane.”
The words fell out of her mouth and she blushed. How could she have been so brazen? She’d never asked a man for sex before. The very idea was too embarrassing to contemplate and yet with Lane, it felt so right.
He set her a little away from him and stared down at her. His eyes were dark with desire, his breath came fast.
“Are you sure?”
She loved that he asked her again. Nerves once again surged through her, but Zara refused to let them distract her. She wanted him—no question. She’d never wanted anyone more.
“Yes,” she whispered and was immediately rewarded by a flare of emotion in his eyes. His hands went to her hips and he drew her forward until her belly once again pressed against the length of his hardness.
His gaze burned into hers. “Can you feel how much I want you?”
“Yes.”
“Touch me.”
Zara gulped. The nerves intensified. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to. It was more that she didn’t know how.
“Don’t you want to?” A tiny frown marked the space between Lane’s eyes.
She nodded, a little frantically. “Of course I do. You’re magnificent. Your body is…beautiful.”
“Then what?” he questioned softly, taking her hand in his and lifting it to his chest.
Her hand lay flat against the warmth of his bare skin. His heart pounded an excited rhythm beneath her palm. Her fingers curled through the slight smattering of dark brown hair that covered his chest.
“I-I’ve never touched a man before. I mean…I’ve been kissed, but not very many times and it felt nothing like when you…”
Her face was aflame. She couldn’t go on. She turned her head away and buried her face against his chest. He held her against him, giving her a few moments to recover.
Sooner than she was ready to have eye contact, he tilted her chin up with a gentle finger and forced her to look at him.
* * *
Lane stared down at her and his pulse pumped hard. He couldn’t believe it. She was a virgin. He should have known. From the moment they’d spied each other across the frilly, pink bedroom that belonged to her sister, he’d known she was different.
He’d spent his life seeking out women who weren’t looking for long-term relationships; who were more than happy with a one-or-two night stand. They were women who played the field and that had suited him just fine.
And then he’d met Zara.
She held his gaze, her face still flushed with embarrassment. As the silence stretched out between them, confusion and uncertainty flooded her eyes. He hastened to reassure her.
“Please, don’t be embarrassed by your lack of experience, sweetheart. You should be proud of it. Everyone seems to be in such a big hurry these days to sleep with as many people as they can, I think we’ve forgotten how special making love can be, how special it should be.”
He lifted her hand off his chest and pressed a kiss against her palm before drawing her over to the couch. Pushing her gently onto the leather seat, he bent and picked up her dress. In silence, he offered it to her. She threw him a grateful look and took it from him.
Tugging it over her head, she stood and shimmied it down her body. When she was once again clothed and sitting on the couch, he sat beside her and put his arm around her shoulders and drew her in close to his side.
“I lost my virginity when I was seventeen,” he said quietly. “She was a girl I’d known for a while, but we’d never dated. I’d seen her around, hanging out at McDonalds and down at the local skate park. She’d been a few years ahead of me in school, but despite the age difference, she seemed interested.” He paused and drew in a breath before continuing.
“It was a Saturday night. I’d been at the skate park with a couple of my brothers for most of the afternoon. She turned up and sat there, watching. I was getting ready to leave when she came up to me and asked me if I wanted to go and get a coke at McDonalds.”
Zara bit her lip, but remained silent. Lane stared at her, trying to gauge her feelings. He didn’t know how she’d react to listening to how he’d lost his virginity or if she even cared, but something inside him told him she did and he squeezed her thigh, hoping to reassure her.
“I knew she liked me,” he said. “She’d been ha
nging around for weeks. I liked her, too, although I liked her more when I realized she wanted to have sex with me.” He offered Zara a rueful smile and cursed the blush that rose on his cheeks. A smile tugged at her lips.
“Hey, I’m not making any excuses. It was totally all about me. I was seventeen and randy as hell. I wasn’t about to turn her down.”
“What about your brothers? Weren’t they there, too?”
“I sent them home. I told them to tell Mom I’d met a friend and was going to McDonalds for a coke.”
Her smile widened. “All of which was true. Did they believe you?”
Lane grinned back at her. “I’m the oldest. My brothers knew something was going on, but I think they were too young to realize I was going to have sex.” He grimaced. “Unfortunately, Mom wasn’t so naive.”
Zara’s smile widened. “I’ll bet.”
Lane cleared his throat. “Anyway, the point I’m trying to make is that sometimes we wish things had turned out differently. Afterwards, I wondered what it would feel like to do it with someone I really cared about. I felt a little cheated. I felt like I’d let myself down.”
He stared at her, hoping she’d understand. Her breath hitched and her eyes glittered with emotion. She didn’t look away.
He dropped his voice to a whisper. “I’m not going to pretend there haven’t been others since then, Zara, but I’m telling you the truth when I say I’m still wondering what it feels like to make love to someone I really, really care about.”
Her eyes widened in comprehension. Her lips moved, but no words came, as if she didn’t quite know what to say. He leaned toward her and claimed her lips, silencing her efforts.
“I want to love you with every part of my body. I want to teach you everything I know. I want to drive you wild, so wild, you’ll hardly be able to stand it. I want to make you mine.”
He leaned down and pressed kisses against her forehead, her cheeks, her eyelids before taking her mouth once again. Softly, tenderly, he kissed her. His cock was rock hard.
