She’d been thinking of ways to make the business work and maybe weddings weren’t the way to go. He can’t leave. If they had a different strategy it could change their course. It was best to get through the next two days and then sort out their future—whatever that would be.
She put her notebook on the bench, sat down at the piano, and plunked the keys. He was right. It was her that got in her own way. When had she become so judgmental? So cold and uncaring? She didn’t mean to be. Plunk. Plunk. Plink. It would take practice if she wanted to succeed. In her songwriting career and marriage. At least she had the parent thing right; her daughter would have told her if she hadn’t.
Maybe the wilds of Maine were too remote for a year-round residence, but she didn’t see any other way. Everything they had was tied up in this place and she was tired of thinking about it.
She opened her notebook flat on top of the baby grand and scanned the words. But will you dance… “No, that sucks.” Plink, plink. “Hmm, something else.” She crossed out the first line. “Will you stay with me as the tides change? Will you love me as the years go by? Will you stay forever? Agh!” She threw the pen on the notebook. The words weren’t coming to her.
“I don’t have it anymore. Maybe I never did.” She spun on the bench and flinched seeing Tara beside her.
“I knew you were aching to get something out.” Tara smiled.
“I’ve been fooling myself.” She put her head down on the keys, unleashing a serious discord.
“I’ve never seen anyone play that way, but hey, maybe you’re on to something.”
“It should be easier. It used to be.” She lifted her head and propped it against her palm.
Tara sat down next to her. “You’re right, but if it was that easy, anyone could do it. It’s like anything. It takes work and practice.”
“But it seems to come so naturally to you.” And that wasn’t happening. She was compelled to get the song written before the wedding. She wanted Tara’s opinion of her finished piece. She was looking for approval.
“It does, but not always, and if I stay away from it for too long I get rusty, like you said earlier. That’s all it is. If you weren’t a writer you wouldn’t be obsessing over not being able to.” Tara stood up to leave. “It sounds to me like you’re clogged up. You need to do something to get that energy moving again.”
“Too busy.” Nikki closed her notebook and clipped the pen to the front cover. But she was lying to herself—she wasn’t busy. It was her way of keeping herself from thinking too much. And she hadn’t even been good at that lately.
“That’s a convenient excuse, isn’t it? And how long has it been working for you? A few years at least? When do you think you’ll have the time? Next decade?” Tara crossed her arms like she was scolding a lazy student.
“Do you talk to all of your acquaintances like you’re their teacher?” Nikki laughed.
“No, just the people I feel are stuck but serious about writing. It’s the same speech my mentor gave to me. Comes in handy when I feel the need to hole up and forget about everything.”
Nikki stood up and held her notebook against her chest. “Thanks. See you tomorrow at the wedding. Enjoy the party tonight.”
She left the room. Tara was right. It was too easy to push aside what she feared, starting with the failure of her marriage. She walked past a flurry of activity in the lobby. She sneaked past Drew, the local sheriff, and some girl she didn’t know.
She slipped into the kitchen and out the back door. Fresh air filled her lungs and the sweet aroma of the rose hedge satisfied her need to get outside. All she wanted was a quick walk by herself to clear her head. People traipsed about the grounds. Why did I worry so much? From a quick assessment, it appeared that things were falling into place.
She sat on a log swing for two that her grandfather had made and hung from the century old willow tree on the property. No one was sure how old the tree was but they took her grandfather at his word. She stabbed her toes in the dirt and set the swing in motion. The gentle sway fed her senses and she spread her notebook open on her lap. It brought her back to her younger years when she’d met Nate and the first time she’d brought him to the inn. Being a city kid, he wasn’t too keen on being in the woods. He would jump at the slightest sound, thinking it was a bear. Even the chirps of crickets bothered him and he could never sleep well when he was there. She should’ve known moving here wouldn’t be a good idea.
It was you. It was Nate; she knew that now.
“That’s it.” She pounded the paper with the tip of the pen and her heart quickened.
It was you who made me see.
The beginning of a new me.
I didn’t know back then that it would never end.
I only wanted to love you and have you next to me.
You showed me what I never knew.
And that was to spend my life with you.
Her grip tightened around the pen and she held the notebook against her chest. A smile as wide as she could muster hurt her cheeks, but she had it. The melody in her head was Tara’s but the words were hers. A crack rippled within her and a rush of air filled her chest. Confidence took her over. This one she was going to finish.
* * *
Spilled alcohol was mopped up. Flattened cheddar cheese cubes were scraped from the floor, and the occasional broken glass was swept away. Things would be clean and quiet again once the wedding was over.
Nikki had hardly spoken to Nate—not that she didn’t want to, just no time. He’d been up checking in guests and she went to bed early. She was more tired than usual and had nagging nausea earlier that morning. It would all be over in a few hours.
She poured a glass of ginger ale from behind the bar and rested against her hands on the counter, rolling the glass with her palms. Oh no. She looked at the calendar underneath the shelf. No! Can’t be.
She abandoned her soda and ran upstairs to her bedroom. She tore into her closet, digging through plastic bags stuffed on the shelf. She grabbed the opened box and went into the master bathroom. She took a deep breath and peed on the test stick. Can’t be. Not now. She held her forehead and waited out the required three minutes. A hint of result filled the window. Two more minutes to be sure. She put the test on the sink and pulled herself together counting off the minutes in her head.
Earlier that year she was late but it turned out to be nothing. She washed her face and held the towel against her wet skin. She peeked past the edge of the towel with one eye and glanced at the tiny window that had the power to change the course of her life yet again.
Positive.
“Damn it.” She sat on the edge of the tub and held her belly. “Why now?”
It wasn’t that she didn’t want another child. She loved children, but it had been difficult to conceive again. She felt bad that Noelle didn’t have a sibling, but that was the way things worked out. Until now.
She slipped the result stick into a small plastic bag, shoved it into her back pocket, and ambled to her bed. She sat with a thud and her mind began to spin, but she didn’t have time for a pity party, not with a wedding going on. Sweat beaded on her palms. She rubbed them against her jeans. Maybe it’s a bad test stick. Sigh. Her notebook called to her so she flipped to the song she’d started. The words felt right.
Here we are years later with a deeper desire.
But can’t find our way back through the fire.
As many doors opened, more closed behind us.
Dreams shattered, hope faded, it was all a bust.
I sit here searching for an answer.
No more hurt, a gentle hint of closure.
We’ve been through so much.
All I want is to feel your touch.
To find our way back to the past.
Whatever the future may cast.
She smiled and was happy with the words she wrote—that was good enough for now. The words that were bottled up, choking her, were finally out in the open. A wave of relief spread
over her and for the first time in months she felt clear. She tossed her pad on the bed and went downstairs.
The kitchen was bustling with pre-wedding activity. Trays of stuffed mushrooms waited to be baked at the last minute. Chocolate mousse filled the refrigerator. She made a mental note to hold one back for herself. She walked along the counters checking off the food to make sure everything was accounted for and the timing was on schedule. She was glad the bride and groom opted for a buffet; it made things mush easier.
“How are you feeling?”
She almost jumped out of her skin. She hated when Nate snuck up on her.
“Fine. Why do you ask?” Did she look pregnant already? She turned to face him and felt for her back pocket. Was the proof sticking out?
“You went to bed earlier than you usually do.”
“True, but then I got up to check in some last-minute guests. The interruption threw me off. That’s all.”
“Where have you been?” She cupped his elbow and moved them out of the way. The ceremony was in a few minutes and the frenzy was getting in the way of their conversation—plus, the smell of the shrimp cocktail on the sideboard made her queasy.
“Helping Todd with the lawn chairs. We’re ready when they are.”
“I need to…”
“It’s time!” Agnes scurried through the kitchen, rounding up anyone who would listen. “Come on.” She yanked Nikki’s arm and pulled her outside.
Nate followed them.
Tara took her seat at the rented piano. Nikki wouldn’t dare move the baby grand from the banquet room. It was too big and old to move around.
The sun rested on the horizon. A soft wind flowed across the lawn, just enough to be cool. Tulle cascaded along the outline of the gazebo.
“Noelle did a beautiful job with that, didn’t she?” Nikki smiled. She was so proud of her daughter. Would there be another? She looked at Nate. Her news was going to change their plans and she hoped he’d be happy with another child. Maybe it wouldn’t change the outcome of their marriage, but it would affect them as parents having two kids to worry about.
The final guest sat down and Tara played the first note. The bridal party walked down the aisle, dropping rose petals along the way. Nikki immediately recognized the music. It was the same melody Tara played when she was practicing.
Gabe and his groomsmen lined up to the right of the gazebo. Nikki leaned down to check under the tulle. Yep, Todd put the light up in time. She knew she could count on him—he was always a step ahead of her.
Viv appeared at the end of the aisle in her beautiful yet understated gown.
Nikki thought back to her wedding. Nate was full of life. He’d found fun in everything he did.
Not so much now. How would their lives change once she told him her news? She caught her breath.
It could shut him down completely, or—
The music grew louder.
“It was you who made me see,
“The beginning of a new me.
“I didn’t know back then that it would never end.”
Nikki gasped and put her hand over her mouth. “That’s…”
“Your song.” Nate gently squeezed her side.
Tara’s music. Her words. She clasped her mouth and tears rimmed her eyes as her insides trembled.
Tara continued.
“I only wanted to love you and have you next to me.
“You showed me what I never knew.
“And that was to spend my life with you.”
The music softened as Viv met Gabe to begin their life as a married couple.
She mouthed a Thank you to Tara. Nate pulled her in closer. Was he crying? She thought his eyes were glistening with tears.
“Thank you.” She reached up to kiss him but hesitated. She was confused. What if he really wanted to leave? Maybe it was her hormones making her crazy.
“I now pronounce you husband and wife.” The minister spoke and the newly married couple, followed by their bridal party, walked into the reception room with the guests close behind.
Nate walked Nikki onto the dance floor and held her tight. She never needed the big wedding, after all. It wasn’t the cost or abundance of flowers and food that made the marriage. It was the couple—and they had that when they married.
* * *
The night was flawless. The sunset timed perfectly and the weather was the most beautiful Maine night Nikki had ever experienced. The party was in full swing and they could relax.
Nate hadn’t left her side all night, but they had been too distracted to talk.
“It looks like we can steal away now. There’s enough alcohol to keep people happy and the dinner is over.” Nate held her hand and she welcomed his touch.
“Yep, nothing but a party now.” She had to tell him. She wasn’t sure if her stomach was churning from hunger, being pregnant, or the fact that she hadn’t told him yet. “Come on.”
She walked with him into the empty kitchen and pulled out a chocolate mousse from the fridge. He handed her a spoon.
“I’m surprised that lasted so long.” He laughed.
“Chocolate never lasts very long around me.” She took a spoonful and swallowed hard. “Sit down.”
“I’ll pass out if I do. I’m exhausted.”
She pulled out a chair for him.
“Please. You’re going to need to be as close to the floor as possible so you don’t get hurt if you pass out.” She put down the dessert cup.
“Is there any more mousse?” He picked up her empty container and scooped out what little bit was left with his finger.
“Um, there could be but, uh, not now.” She did have one hidden but was saving it for herself in case he had a bad reaction to her news.
“This might change things.” She pulled out the test stick and held it up for him to see.
His eyes widened. “You’re pregnant?”
She nodded. “Guilty.”
“I can’t believe that. After all these years of trying, you’re—”
“Yes, pregnant.” She studied his face. Well? He was shocked, but beyond that she wasn’t sure. She measured her words. “Of course this would happen when we plan on getting a divorce and you’re moving cross country.”
He hung his head. “Well, part of that isn’t true.”
“What do you mean?”
“The job fell through. I found out this morning. Turns out the company was bought out and they’re not filling any new in-house positions at this time.”
She was relieved; one less problem to worry about—at least for now. “They didn’t know that when they offered you the job?” She exchanged the stick for the dessert cup.
“Apparently not the person who hired me. But even though that position fell through, they did offer me another one. It’s a telecommuting job. I can work from home ninety-five percent of the time. You’re pregnant?”
“Seems so.” She licked her chocolate-mousse-covered spoon like a lollipop. “What about the other five percent?”
“That would require traveling. But it’s only five percent of the time.”
He shook his head and stood up. “You’re really pregnant?”
“According to the test.”
He steadied himself, legs spread like they were planted in the ground and arms crossed. That all-important stance when he was serious and nobody took him seriously. “So that leaves…?”
She grabbed two dishes of chocolate mousse from the refrigerator. “The last of the dessert.”
She knew him well enough to know he was excited about the pregnancy, but with the possibility of divorce still hanging over them, his cautious nature held his excitement at bay.
“Us.” She ate a spoonful of mousse.
“Ah, yeah. You’re the one who wants the divorce.” He walked to her.
“You’re right. I was the one who asked for it because I saw no other way.”
Nate took the cup from her hand and placed it on the counter. “How about we table the divorce for
now? You know, work on things. I know we’re worth saving.”
She moved closer to him. “I think that might be a good idea.”
He hugged her tight. “Noelle’s going to have a sibling. She’ll be so happy. She’s tired of doing all the work around here.” He squeezed Nikki hard and kissed her with the love she missed.
She was dizzy from the intensity of his passion and moved him away slightly. “That still leaves the matter of finances.”
If she could take those words back, she would have. She’d never learned how to not kill the moment.
“How about we celebrate the fact that we’re having a baby and might not be getting divorced? Deal?”
She shook her head and liked the idea.
“Uh-oh. Sorry to interrupt.” Tara crashed their reconciliation.
Nate backed away. “No problem. We were catching up.” His hand slid down her arm and into her hand.
“I wanted to tell you what a beautiful song that was. I hope you don’t mind that I didn’t sing the rest of it. It’s beautiful, but maybe a little inappropriate for this wedding. Let them learn about the hardship of marriage on their own.” Tara laughed.
“The song.” Nikki had been so caught up in her pregnancy that she completely forgot about the song. “How did you know about it?”
Tara motioned to Nate.
“I found your notebook on the bed. It was open, so it’s not like I was snooping. I brought it to Tara and asked what she thought of it.”
“It’s terrific. So much that I want to know if you’re open to a collaboration. My music, your lyrics.”
Nikki froze. Now she was sure her stomach was churning because an award-winning musician was asking her if she could use her lyrics. “You mean, like an actual professional collaboration?”
“Absolutely. I think you’ve got something. I’d like to hear the rest of the song you were humming the other day.”
She felt faint. She and Tara Graham writing together.
Timeless Vows: Five Tales of Love (Timeless Tales Book 4) Page 8
