by M. E. Parker
I still have to tell her. She doesn’t know who I am really. I was sure she would ask after Luke showed up today. That fucker. I know he was just being polite, but it killed me when she giggled at his jokes—and him tipping that damn cowboy hat at her, I wanted to punch him. I can’t believe how jealous I felt. Jealousy was definitely a new feeling for me. I wanted him as far away from us as possible. He called me boss at least a half-dozen times and I thought for sure she would ask me about it, but she hadn’t said anything.
I had plenty of opportunities to tell her and I couldn’t figure out why I hadn’t. At first, my thought was probably that I didn’t want another woman to care about me because of what I could offer financially, but that went away the first night. Claire wasn’t like that. I wondered if it would bother her that I was wealthy. I couldn’t help but think about that douchebag Jonathan, she said she liked him because she thought he was “real.” She liked that he was poor. I wondered if that was her thing, maybe she was attracted to poor guys. What if it made her mad that I didn’t say anything sooner? I hadn’t straight out lied to her, but I certainly led her to believe something other than the truth.
I couldn’t ruin the moment though. I looked at her watch the sunset and sip on her beer. “So, what do think pretty girl, you still think you want to stay here?” I asked, praying silently that her answer would be yes.
“Can I be honest with you Jack?” She asked with a smile.
“Of course.” My stomach dropped. Oh god, was she going to say no? I was worried, but then I searched her eyes, they were twinkling with excitement.
“My arms are so sore I don’t think I can lift them. I can’t believe I’m even able to lift them to take a drink of this beer. I feel sure I used muscles today I never knew I had.” She laughed. “But I swear to you, this has been one of the best days of my life and if you include last night, then I would say it is the single best day. So, if you want me gone, you’re going to have to tell me. Because I’m not going willingly.”
A tear slipped out of the corner of her eye and I quickly brushed it away with my thumb and covered her lips with mine. I whispered against her lips, “Claire you’re not going anywhere. You belong here. You belong with me.”
She smiled against my lips, “All right then. Take me home.”
I helped her into the truck. Take me home. She thought home was that little cabin. I had to tell her. I was going to tell her as soon as we got into the truck, but I didn’t get the chance.
“Jack, do you think you could take me into town tomorrow? I really want to start looking for a job. I’m not going to feel right about all this until I have a job and can contribute.”
I smiled at her. “You could always apply at the farm.”
She laughed. “I don’t think I’m qualified.”
“Claire, you worked harder today than most men I’ve worked with, I’m pretty sure you could get hired.”
“Seriously Jack. Surely, I can find something in town, I’m not totally without skills. I have a degree in finance and an MBA. There’s a bank here, right? Maybe I could work at the bank.”
I didn’t have the heart to tell her that there are absolutely no jobs in town right now. I could make a job happen for her anywhere though. I knew everyone, and I could just pay her wages out of my own pocket, but I didn’t want to trick her or be dishonest. The farm was her best choice and I had some ideas, I just hoped that she would agree.
“Sure, we can check with the bank. And if that doesn’t work out, you could always wash dishes. You’re practically an expert now.” I said, teasing her.
She slapped me on the shoulder as we pulled in front of the cabin. “You’re hilarious Jack. But seriously, I’ll do anything at this point. It doesn’t have to be forever. I can figure something out. I might even be able to work out a consulting agreement with my father, so I could telecommute. But that will take time. I just want to be earning money now, so I can contribute. I don’t like the idea of depending on you.”
I looked at her and kissed her cheek. “But you know you can, right? You can depend on me.”
“I know Jack, but that’s not going to happen.” She said as she got out of the truck.
As soon as we got into the cabin, she went straight to the window wall to stare at the lake, just like I had done every time I walked into the cabin since I was fifteen years old. It’s the best thing about the place. As she looked out over the lake for the last few minutes of daylight, she said, “You know Jack, this place is almost perfect.”
I raised an eyebrow at her, “Oh yeah, almost? What would make it all the way perfect?”
“I don’t know.” She laughed. “Maybe a bathtub with some hot water and bubbles in it.”
I knew she was teasing me, but guilt hit me in the gut. Of course, she’d want to soak in a bath tonight. She worked her ass off today. And she was probably still sore from last night. How could I not have thought of that? I didn’t even know how many bathtubs were in my house—but there were a lot. There was a huge one in the master bath that I had never used.
She patted me on the shoulder and kissed my cheek “I call first shower.” She said as she turned to walk towards the bedroom.
I grabbed her wrist, “Wait Freckles, we have one more thing to do, I forgot.”
“Are you kidding Jack?”
“Not kidding Freckles. Go back out to the truck. It will only take ten or twenty minutes. I’ll meet you out there. I’m going to run to the bathroom real quick.”
She sighed. “Okay.” I watched her walk out the cabin door and I ran in the bathroom and grabbed her shampoo and all of her other stuff and put it back in her cosmetic bag and then put that in her purse. I knew she’d want all her own stuff for a bath. On the way out of the bedroom, I stopped at her suitcase and lifted the lid. There was a pair of black lace panties on top, I grabbed them and threw them in her purse.
I came out to the truck carrying her purse. She looked at me funny. “Why do you have my purse?”
I just shrugged. “I thought you might want it. Don’t girls like to have their purse all the time?”
She laughed, “Not if we aren’t leaving the farm. Oh god Jack, we aren’t going into town, are we? I can’t let anyone see me looking like this.”
“No Freckles, you’re fine. We’ll be there in few minutes.” I watched her lean her head against the passenger side window. She was asleep before we even pulled out onto the main road. When I pulled up in front of my house, I sat and watched her for a minute. I didn’t want to wake her, but I couldn’t wait any longer. I had to tell her.
I reached over and touched her cheek and brushed away a stray piece of hair that had fallen in front of her face. “Claire.” I whispered as I rubbed her cheek. I watched as she opened her beautiful ocean-colored eyes. She rubbed her face with her little hands and looked over at me and smiled.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I can’t believe I fell asleep.”
I grinned at her. “That’s probably my fault. I kept you up all last night and then worked your ass off today.”
She didn’t respond. She had looked up at the house. She looked back over at me with wide eyes. “What are we doing here?”
“You’re going to take a bath. You said you wanted one.” I was still grinning, but I was nervous as hell.
“What? No. This is the owner’s house, right?”
“Yep.”
“No Jack. I can’t meet anyone right now and I’m sure as hell not going to take a bath in their house. Let’s go back.”
“Claire, its fine. It’s just you and me. Come on.” I was hoping to get her inside before I told her everything.
“What? No. We can’t go in there. You’ll get in trouble. I was just joking about the bath. Come on. Let’s go back to the cabin.”
I cleared my throat. “Claire, I won’t get in trouble. I’m the owner. It’s my house.”
“Jack, I’m exhausted. Quit joking around.”
“I’m not joking. It’s mine and I know you’re
exhausted. That’s why I brought you here, so you could take a bath and relax.”
She shifted in her seat and swallowed hard. “This isn’t funny Jack.”
“I’m not trying to be funny. I should have told you sooner. But it’s true.”
She looked away from me. I couldn’t tell what she was thinking. She whispered, “It is not true Jack.”
I wasn’t sure how I was going to convince her that the farm was mine and then I remembered the magazine that was rolled up in Ted’s glove compartment.
I watched as she stared at the cover of the magazine. “Shit Jack. This is you.” Modern Farms had done an article on the farm earlier this year and I had to do some stupid photo shoot for the cover. It was embarrassing, but at least it proved who I was.
“Yep that’s me.”
She didn’t say anything as she thumbed through the magazine until she reached the article about the farm. She finally looked over at me. “Dear god Jack, the farm made Forbes Fortune 500 for privately held companies.”
“Yeah. We were ranked 236th last year. Not too bad.”
She looked at me and her lips turned up in the corners, but the smile didn’t reach her eyes. She looked back at the house. “Jack—how much money do you have?”
A chuckle escaped my lips. I couldn’t help but laugh at her blunt question. “I don’t know. A lot, I guess—probably not as much as you. How much money do you have? Does it really matter?”
She laughed, but it was dry and sarcastic. “God, you must have thought I was the biggest idiot when I offered you that stupid watch.”
“No. I’ll admit I was irritated at first—but only because I thought you wanted me to wear a watch that you had bought for another guy, but once you explained why you wanted to give it to me, I thought it was the kindest, most generous thing anyone had ever offered me.” I reached up and touched her cheek. She turned away from me. It felt like a punch in the gut. I knew I deserved it though. I should have told her then. I should have told her the minute she offered that watch to me and she told me she wanted to stay. I shouldn’t have slept with her without telling her. I know she felt lied to and I didn’t blame her. “Claire. Talk to me. Please.”
“I don’t even know where to start. There are a million questions swirling around in my head.”
“I know Freckles and I promise I’ll answer all of them as soon as you’re ready to ask. I know you’re exhausted. Just come in with me.”
“Tell me why. Why didn’t you tell me?”
I swallowed hard. “I don’t know, I’ve been asking myself that all day. At first you just made assumptions and I didn’t correct you. And before we were together last night, I didn’t think it mattered, I just thought I would be driving you to Nashville to get on a plane and that would be it. But I know I should have told you before now, I’m so sorry. I really do want you to know everything about me. I mean it Claire. Last night and today have been incredible. Hell, I haven’t been the same since the second I saw you walk into that diner.” I searched her eyes and I begged with my own for her to forgive me.
She shook her head and let out a deep sigh. I saw a tear escape from the corner of her eye and it broke my heart. I reached up and wiped it away. “Claire. I’m sorry. I really am. I know you’re tired. Just come in with me. You can take a bath and rest. I’ll give you some space and then we can talk everything through. Okay?”
She didn’t say anything, but she nodded her head. I wasn’t going to wait for her to change her mind. I jumped out of the truck and ran around to her side. I had to make things right with her. She was everything I had ever wanted and if I had already screwed up, I would never forgive myself. I helped her out of the truck. She held my hand as we walked up the steps to the front porch. I punched in the security code on the keypad by the door, it unlocked, and I held it open for her to walk in.
She took a few steps into the entryway and froze as she looked around the massive space. It looked bigger than it was because it was mostly empty. I hadn’t done anything to it since it was built. The only furniture in the great room was a leather sofa and there was TV mounted over the fireplace. I watched her gaze up to the cathedral ceilings and exposed wooden beams and then look over at the gourmet kitchen. “Holy shit.” She whispered.
I walked over towards the stairs. “It’s not a big deal Claire. I’m sure it’s not much different than the house you grew up in.”
“Jack, you could fit about four or five of my houses in here. This place is massive.”
I laughed, feeling a little embarrassed. “Yeah well, y’all have a land shortage in Boston. We don’t have that problem around here. Come on, the bathroom’s up here. I’ll give you a tour later.”
She followed me into the master bedroom and put her purse down on the bed. I watched her lean down and feel the dark grey cotton quilt in the massive king size bed. I kissed her cheek. She didn’t look up at me. “Take off your boots off Freckles. I’m going to run your bath water.” I said as I walked into the massive master bath. I sat down on the edge of the tub and turned on the water. I spotted a bottle in the corner—lavender bath soap. I had never noticed it before. Sarah must have put it there. I poured a little in and watched the bubbles start to form. “You know, you’ll be the first person to ever use this tub. You’ll have to tell me how you like it.” She didn’t respond so I walked back into the bedroom.
She was still standing frozen in the same spot. Her face was white. She looked like she had seen a ghost. I walked straight towards her and grabbed both of her hands in mine. “Claire. Tell me. What’s wrong?” She cleared her throat.
Her voice was barely audible. “I don’t know Jack. I know we just met a few days ago. But I really thought—I don’t know, I had this idea of who you were in my head. I don’t feel like I know you. You feel like a stranger now. Why were you pretending?”
I sucked in a breath and pulled her into a tight embrace. Shit. I hated that I had made her feel this way. “Claire. Listen to me. I was never pretending. You have to believe me. That old fishing cabin—that’s the real me. My dad and I built it together when I was fifteen. I love that place, it’s like home to me. The work we did on the farm today—that’s the real me too. I haven’t been able to do it much since I’ve been running things for the last couple of years. But I worked just like we did today almost every day for my whole life until I inherited the farm and things started getting busy. You and I riding horses together, eating together, talking—that’s the real me. Everything I said about the way I feel about the farm is true, everything about growing up and my parents. That’s all real.”
I pulled away for a second and looked at her. She kept her gaze towards the floor. I put my hands on her cheeks. “Look at me Claire. This is important. Everything between us, everything I’ve said to you about us, making love to you, touching you, kissing you—all that was very real to me. There is something between us, I feel it. It’s so strong. I think you feel it too. It’s real Claire. There was no pretending. You have to believe me.” Her eyes finally met mine. “This house, the money, it’s just a small part of who I am. You of all people should understand that.”
I didn’t wait for her to respond. I just kissed her. I had to. I had to show her how I felt. I was gentle at first and then her lips parted, and my tongue explored her mouth. She kissed me back. The kiss grew hungry. I wanted to peel off her clothes and make love to her—show her everything I was feeling. But I knew I needed to give her time to process everything. I bit her bottom lip and she moaned and then I pulled back from her. “That’s not pretending, Freckles. That’s real. I wasn’t pretending when I said I felt like you belonged with me. I want you to feel that too.” I said breathing hard.
“Okay.” She smiled at me. It was small, but it was the first time I saw a real smile from her since I told her truth.
“Okay?”
“Okay Jack, I believe you. But that doesn’t mean I still don’t have a million questions. But I want to try out your bathtub first.”
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br /> “Okay Freckles. I’ll answer all of them. I promise. Look in your purse. I put all your stuff from the bathroom in there. I thought you’d want it for your bath.”
She looked in her purse and pulled out her cosmetic bag and then I saw her face turn red. She pulled out the lace thong I had put in there. “I don’t recall these being in the bathroom.”
I chuckled. “I wasn’t snooping. I promise. They were on top of the stuff in your suitcase. I thought you might want a clean pair for after your bath.”
She laughed and rolled her eyes. “Did you happen to think I might want to wear something in addition to these?”
I grinned. “I guess I didn’t think that far ahead. But I’m more than fine with you only wearing those.” She shook her head and laughed and then punched me in the arm.
I went to my dresser and pulled out my favorite old t-shirt from college—it was extra soft and nice and big, I thought she would be comfortable in it. I handed it to her. “Here. You can put this on if you’re done before I get back. I’ll run back over to the cabin and get your suitcase.”
I watched her walk into the bathroom and put her things on the counter next to the sink. I should have turned around and walked out the door, but I couldn’t. I followed her in the bathroom. I watched her walk to the tub. She bent down and put her hand in the water. “Does it feel okay?”
She turned and smiled at me, “Yeah it’s perfect.”
I walked towards her and put my arms around her waist.
“What’re you doing?”
“I thought you might need some help getting out of these.” I said reaching up to the first button on her shirt. She put her hands around my arms.
“Jack—I’m taking a bath, remember.”
I smiled at her. “I know pretty girl. I’m just going to help you out of these dirty clothes and then I will leave you alone. I promise.” I began to unbutton her shirt and then I pulled the knot loose around her waist and slowly slid the shirt off her shoulders. My eyes roamed down her tank top. Her nipples were hard. My erection began pressing against my jeans.
