by M. E. Parker
“Nothing Ted. Just go.”
“I’m not going anywhere. Sarah’s worried sick. She hasn’t been able to get in touch with you or Claire. What are doin’? It’s ten in the morning Jack and you’re pourin’ yourself a glass of whiskey? What’s goin’ on?”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “She left.”
“Jesus. What happened?”
“I came home from Nashville the other day and she was gone, and all of her stuff was gone.” I hated saying it out loud. It was the first time. I wasn’t ready to talk about it.
“What’d you do Jack? She wouldn’t just leave like that.”
Huh. Of course, Ted would assume I did something. It wasn’t like her. He was right. “Fuck! I don’t know Ted. At first, I thought it was Tiffany, but then I found a note. She said she wanted to go back to Boston to work at her father’s company.”
I saw anger pass through Ted’s eyes. “What do you mean you thought it was Tiffany? What the fuck did you do son?”
I was taken aback. Ted had never talked to me like that before. “Nothin’ Ted. I ran into her while I was in Nashville and I blew her off. She was here sitting in the fucking kitchen when I got home. She said that she hadn’t seen Claire—she must have left before Tiffany got here. Claire’s note—it wasn’t—she didn’t sound pissed, just sorry.”
Ted rolled his eyes. “Please don’t tell me you’re that gullible when it comes to Tiffany. Look Jack, I’ve held my tongue about that girl for a lot of years Jack. But the truth is, she’s nothin’ but a conniving little bitch. I’ve sat back and watched her lie, cheat, and steal from you and I did that because you cared about her. But if you really think Claire leaving has nothing to do with Tiffany, your deluding yourself.”
“I don’t know Ted. Claire had been quiet—even distant for a few days before she left. You didn’t see the note she left.”
“I don’t care about the damn note Jack. That girl loves you. It is apparent to everyone on this damn farm. Not only does she love you, she loves this farm, and hell she loves Sunshine—I’ve never seen anyone take to a horse like that. That girl belongs here on this farm with you. Do you really think she’d just up and leave like that to go do some job in the city? Think about it Jack. You know her.”
I took a deep breath. “Jesus—maybe you’re right. What do I do? She won’t answer my calls?”
“Quit callin’ her Jack and get on a damn airplane and go see her. Bring her home. But first, shave that shit off your face and take a shower. You smell like a dead hog.” He grinned a little.
“What if you’re wrong Ted? What if she doesn’t wanna be here?”
He shook his head. “I’m never wrong son, so I’m gonna assume that’s a hypothetical question. But my answer is—you’ll be no worse off than you are now. You have nothin’ left to lose.”
I nodded at him and walked towards the stairs. He was right. Why have I spent the last four days feeling sorry for myself when I should have been fighting for her? I was an idiot. She was the best thing that ever happened to me.
I went into her office and called her father. “This is Jack Colton. Richard Hawkins please.” I was immediately placed on hold and a few seconds later a very angry Rich Hawkins answered the phone.
“You better be dead Jack Colton because that is about the only fucking acceptable excuse that you could have for not returning my calls.”
I cleared my throat, “I’m sorry sir. I didn’t know you had called.”
“Well, I left about seventeen messages on your office line. Where the fuck have you been for the last four days?”
I cleared my throat again. “Well if you want me to be honest, I was keeping several bottles of Jack Daniels company.”
He let out a hard breath. “One of you is going to have to tell me what’s going on here.”
“I’m not sure sir. I went up to Nashville for a meeting the night before she left and when I got home the next morning, she was gone. She left me a note saying she was coming up there to work for you. What did she tell you?”
“Not a God Damn thing Jack. Just that she decided to come back to work here. She’s a mess. She walks around like some damn zombie. She looks like hell. She is not my daughter. Whatever the hell you’ve done to her, you better fix it Jack. Do you really expect me to believe that she just left out of the blue, without talking to you first? Without telling me she was coming home? There’s something going on and you better start talking.”
Jesus, he was mad. “Look Rich. I swear I don’t know. It’s possible that she could have misunderstood something. But I don’t know for sure.”
“Quit talking in riddles son, I have no patience for it.”
I finally just went through the entire story with him. I told him all about Tiffany. I told him about the ring I had bought. I told him about the note and the report. I told him everything.
After I finished talking, he was quiet for a minute. I wondered if he was trying to decide if he believed me about Tiffany. He let out a breath. “Jack, you need to fix this.”
“That’s why I’m calling sir. I’m getting ready to book the next flight out of Nashville. I just wanted to make sure she was there—that I could see her.”
“Don’t book a flight. Be at the airfield outside of town in two hours. My jet will be waiting for you. When you get here, come to the ninth floor, conference room B, she’ll be there waiting for you.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“Don’t thank me Jack. Just don’t fuck this up. I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt here, that this was some kind of misunderstanding. But if I find out that you’ve lied to me or you hurt her, I will kill you.”
I was getting ready to offer him my assurance and the line went dead. I had no doubt that he would make good on his threat. But I wasn’t worried. If I managed to make things right with her and we could be together again, I’d never fuck it up. If I did fuck it up, he could kill me. I wouldn’t care. I went into the filing cabinet and I got the papers I wanted and put them in a manila envelope and grabbed her report and the ring and made my way into the bedroom and tossed them into a duffle bag and then packed a couple of changes of clothes and Claire’s red boots.
I jumped in the shower to wash off four days of funk and then stood in front of the sink to shave. I reached under the cabinet to grab a hand towel and noticed that the trash can was full of pink and blue boxes. It took me a second to realize what they were. Pregnancy tests. I picked up the trash can and dumped it on the counter. There were three. I pulled out the boxes and read them and looked at each test—they were positive. All three of them.
Chapter Nineteen—Claire
I sat in my corner office looking out over the city. I was trying to work. I really was. It had been four days since I had shown up at my father’s office. I couldn’t bring myself to tell him everything. I just told him that my contract was done and that I had decided to come back to Boston and work. He didn’t believe me, I could tell. But surprisingly, he hadn’t pressed me. He suggested that I take a week or so before I started working, but I couldn’t. I needed to work. It was the only thing that held me together. I had spent hours going over spreadsheets this past week to keep my mind busy, because if I let myself think about Jack, I would lose it.
At night, I cried myself to sleep, but at the office, I managed to keep it together. I looked down and realized that I had my hand on my stomach. It was still flat, but it didn’t stop me from rubbing it every once in a while. I wondered how big the baby was—the size of a peanut or an amoeba? I decided I would ask the doctor when I saw her the next day. I’m wasn't sure when I realized I loved the baby, at some point on my way to Boston, I suspected. I knew it would be hard raising him or her on my own. But there was no doubt in my mind that I would do it.
At some point, I knew I would have to tell Jack. It would be up to him if he wanted to be a part of the baby’s life, but I wouldn’t keep that a secret from him. I just needed time. I couldn’t talk to him yet, it was too
painful. I never thought I could love someone as much as I did Jack. I felt like my heart had been ripped to shreds. I’m not sure how he found Tiffany in Nashville. I couldn’t help but wonder if he went looking for her if he was unsure of us. I didn’t want to know the details. I had to face the truth. They grew up together—they were in love. He never stopped loving her. They were supposed to be together. They made sense. I was just some girl he found stranded in a diner. I didn’t belong with him. I felt a tear slip down my cheek and quickly wiped it away. I shouldn’t have let my mind go there.
I quickly turned to my laptop to get back to work. I needed to focus on the numbers. Numbers didn’t lie. They didn’t have feelings. My office phone rang, “Claire Hawkins.”
I heard my father’s voice on the line. “Claire, I need you to handle a meeting for me. Conference room B.”
“Okay. What is it?”
“Potential Broker. Just take notes and tell him you’ll get back to him.”
“When?”
“Now.”
“What’s his name?”
I heard him scramble a minute and he cleared his throat. “Dennis Owen.”
“Okay.”
I stood up and smoothed my dress and looked down at the nude heels I was wearing. I went into the bathroom connected to my office and looked in the mirror. I straightened my pearls and checked my hair that was tied up in a bun on top of my head. I pulled some mascara out of my makeup bag and quickly swiped it on and put on some lip gloss. I hadn’t planned to see anyone today outside of the office and hadn’t bothered with makeup. I looked tired, I thought to myself. There were dark circles under my eyes, but I didn’t have any time to do anything about it and I didn’t have the energy either. On the way out of my office, I grabbed my leather portfolio with a notepad in it and a pen and made my way to the conference room. It was empty when I got there. I assumed someone would bring Mr. Owen to me. I sat down and opened my notebook and wrote ‘Dennis Owen’ at the top of the page, along with the date and time.
I swallowed hard when I remembered that Jack’s father’s name was Owen. I liked that name. This guy needed to hurry because I couldn’t afford to let my mind drift. I tapped on my watch to check the time and glanced at my Blackberry to make sure I hadn’t gotten a text or email from my father. I doodled the name ‘Owen’ over and over on my notepad and fidgeted in my chair as I waited. I don’t know how long I sat there before I heard the door click. I quickly stood up and smoothed my dress and looked towards the door.
My heart dropped as soon as I saw him. He had one hand on the doorknob, the other was clasping my report. His hair was messy. He was wearing a dark olive dress shirt that pulled tightly against his chest. His dark jeans hugged his body as deliciously as they always had. His emerald eyes glared at me with intensity like I’d never seen. His jaw clenched. He looked angry. “Jack.” I barely whispered trying to take a hold of my breath. I couldn’t keep standing. I clasped onto the table and fell back down into my chair. “What are you doing here?”
Chapter Twenty—Jack
She looked beautiful. Perfect really. She was wearing a navy-blue dress. It was modest with a round neckline that hugged her neck. It fit her perfectly snugly down to the waist and then flared and fell to her knees. Her hair was pulled up in a neat knot on the top of her head. I glanced at the pearls that laid properly around her neck. She looked like she belonged here—this was where she was meant to be. It made me mad. I wanted to go over and take down her hair and let it fall around her shoulders. I wanted her to be wearing a plaid shirt from Smithfield’s, a pair of jeans, and her work boots. I wanted her to look out of place here. But she didn’t. She looked like she was home.
“Jack.” I heard her say for the second time. I swallowed hard. Dear god, I had to have her. I can’t mess this up. I walked into the conference room and shut the door behind me.
“Claire, I have questions about your report.”
Her eyes were wide. “You do?”
“Yes. I figure that I’m entitled to ask you about this, am I not?”
Her voice was barely audible. “Of course.”
“You didn’t return my calls or texts.”
“I’m sorry.”
I walked over to the table. My hands were shaking. “I’m not happy with it,” I said putting it on the table and sitting down next to her.
She cleared her throat. “Okay. Which part?”
“The last part. Section F. Page 232.” I pushed the report towards her.
She didn’t touch the report or pick it up. “That’s the section where I suggested that you hire a Chief Financial Officer?”
“Yes.”
“Jack, it’s impossible to keep doing everything yourself. You need help if you want to grow.”
“I know Claire—it wasn’t your suggestion that I hire a CFO that’s bothering me, it’s the list of candidates.”
“Jack—every one of them is qualified. I vetted every single one. They are all great. You just need to pick one and make him an offer.”
“I don’t want any of them, Claire. I want you.” I searched her eyes for a second and she looked down. “I want to make you an offer. Name your price.”
“Jack. I’m not qualified. I’m too inexperienced. You need somebody better than me.”
“Claire—I loved every single one of your ideas. I want to implement every one of them. You’re the person who should help do that.”
“I can’t do it. I’m not qualified.” I said, wishing more than anything that I could take him up on his offer.
“Can’t or won’t Claire?”
“Both.” She whispered keeping her eyes down on her lap.
“Why Claire? Claire look at me.”
She wouldn’t look at me.
“Is this about Tiffany? Because if it is Claire—”
She cut me off, “Jack don’t, you don’t need to explain. It’s okay. I get it. You two are working things out. But even if I was qualified, which I’m not, I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t be there on the farm watching you with her. I’m sorry Jack. I can’t.”
I wanted to shake her. “Claire stop. Look at me. Listen. Please Claire. Look at me.”
Her gaze finally met mine. Tears were welling in her eyes. I couldn’t stand to see her like that. “Listen Claire. I know you saw her the day you left. I have no idea what she told you, but I’m guessing it was all lies. There is nothing between Tiffany and me and there never will be. Please, Claire, you’re the only one I care about.”
She shook her head. “She said you were working things out—that you were back together. She was wearing an engagement ring, Jack. She said you spent the night with her in Nashville.”
I turned her chair around and pulled mine up to hers so that our knees were touching. I grabbed both of her hands. “Claire, listen to me, please. I went to meet Todd for dinner in Nashville that night. She was there. I had no idea she worked there. She asked me to meet her after she got off work and I told her I couldn’t. Todd and I went out for a drink after dinner at a bar down the street. She showed up there. As soon as I saw her, I left and went back to the hotel. That’s it. I have no idea why she showed up the house the next day. But I told her then—we’d never be together, I asked her to leave and I told her not to come back. That’s the truth baby. I don’t know why she was wearing that damn ring. I never asked for it back—hell, I figured she would’ve sold it by now. Whatever she said you, she was lying. I’m so sorry.”
Her eyes were glued to her lap. She wouldn’t look at me and it was killing me. “Claire—please.” I would beg if I had to. “You have to know that I feel nothing for her. There hasn’t been anything between us in so long. What I feel for you—it is so much more than it was ever was with her. You are my everything. You must know that. I love you Claire. I’m so in love with you I can’t think straight. Please. You have to know how I feel about you. You feel it, don’t you?”
Tears were still streaming down her face, but she wouldn’t look up at me.
“You wanna know the moment I knew? It is so clear in my memory. I think I fell in love with you the second you stepped in that diner, but I didn’t realize it until that first day you and I worked on the farm together. We were sitting on that bale of hay watching the sunset. I knew then.” I chuckled a little. “You had horse shit all over your jeans, straw in your hair, and a smudge of dirt on your forehead and I looked over at you and I knew that I loved you—I knew that I never wanted to be away from you again. We barely knew each other, and I knew it then.” I rubbed my thumbs over her hands. I needed her to say something. Anything.
One of her hands let go of mine. She wiped away her tears. “Jack—I can’t. I don’t—you don’t know everything. I’m sorry.” She wasn’t making sense. I was trying to be patient. But I needed to know that she believed me.
I whispered. “Claire why are you sorry?” I was lost. I just poured my heart out to her and I was terrified that she didn’t feel the same way. I felt a lump in my throat as I watched her shake her head. She didn’t want to answer. My heart was breaking. I had to ask her. I had to know.
“Freckles?”
She finally looked up at me. But she didn’t say anything.
“Are you having a baby?”
Her faced turned white. “How did you?” She was shaking. “I’m sorry.”
“I saw the tests in the bathroom before I left today. Is it true?”
She nodded her head. “I’m so sorry Jack. It wasn’t on purpose. I promise.”
“I know baby—of course it wasn’t. I watched you take those pills every single day. Why are you sorry? I’m not.” I pressed my forehead against hers. God, I wish I knew what she was thinking.
“You’re not?”
I shook my head. “I love you Freckles. Listen—if you’re not interested in the job—if you want to stay here and work for your Dad, I understand. But I want us to be together, the three of us, Claire. I can move here. I can hire someone to run the farm. I can travel back and forth. I’ll do anything. Just tell me you want to be with me. Please.”
