by Heidi Angell
“You don’t have to justify your answer,” he bit back the sarcasm.
“That is the problem, I can’t. None of it warrants leaving your daughter to whatever fate… I just need you to know now that I don’t know how much I can help. I know that I have seen her in visions tonight. I’m pretty sure that they are what I’m seeing through you, but if I can see that then I may be able to see more. I’m just not sure.”
“Wait, are you saying you will help?”
She nodded solemnly. “I’ll try.”
He leaped up grabbing her in a giant bear hug. She stiffened under his touch and he mentally cringed. Pulling back, embarrassed, he took her hand. Even this seemed too personal.
“I can’t begin to tell you how much I appreciate it… When can we leave?” He cautiously looked into her eyes. The eyes that he had seen full of fear, tears, mirth and life were not the eyes that looked back at him. These eyes were still the same sunflower eyes ringed in blue, but they were guarded, the set around them harder than he remembered. He supposed he deserved it after how everything had ended.
“Well, we should be going as soon as possible. Let me just pack some stuff and get a quick shower in, then I suppose we should head out.” She pulled her hand free and headed upstairs. For the first time Grant reflected on how this might not be such a good idea. It was so damned hard for him to walk away from her last time. Now they were going to be spending a lot of time together. He would have to be a saint to not get hung up on her again, but for both their sakes he would have to try. Unfortunately Grant knew he was no saint.
Clear pulled out her travel bag and jammed clothes in it angrily. Already she could feel the pull to him, but damn her if she would let him break her heart again. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice shame on me! She was so frustrated that she barely paid any attention as she packed. She steeled her resolve as she showered, determined that she would not let her personal feelings get all muddled up. She despised Grant for his cowardly behavior and she was damned sure not going to be made a fool again! Getting out of the shower, she threw on sleeper pants and a baby tee, then grabbed a hoodie in case it was cold. She thought about throwing some make up on, but what was the point? She glowered at herself in the mirror. Grant was not going to tangle her heart up again, she would not allow it!
Taking the stairs two at a time, she pulled up in surprise at Grant waiting for her by the door.
“Are you ready?” he asked.
“Yes.” She took a deep breath, “No, I need to let my foreman know I’m going.” Stomping out the door, she tried to make herself angry with him, to keep from caving under those perfect blue eyes. Tossing him her bag, she muttered, “I’ll be right back.”
She took off at a jog toward the barn. It was barely six in the morning, but she knew that Mr. Smith would be in the barn tending the horses. He was a morning person. As she flew into the barn a few of the horses nickered. They could probably sense her mood and it made them uncomfortable.
“Mr. Smith,” she called out. She wasn’t surprised when his head came up from behind the far stall. She was surprised when Mr. Yarbrough stood up next to him. ‘Damn!’ She had completely forgotten about the English buyer. “Uh, Mr. Yarbrough, good morning. I’m sorry about last night… I uh.. Well, I have a friend who is having a personal emergency and he really needs my…” what was she going to say? Psychic abilities? “.. personal support right now. I’m afraid I will have to be leaving for Chicago.” She took a deep breath hoping he wouldn’t pry, not that she’d really given him enough with which to pry.
“I hope it’s nothing too serious. When will you be leaving?” Mr. Yarbrough asked politely. It was still prying.
“Actually it is quite serious and I’m leaving today… right now, in fact. I was just coming to ask Mr. Smith if he would take over the ranch for me while I am gone, and all the business that pertains to it.” She looked pointedly at Mr. Yarbrough, clearly including him in that business.
Mr. Smith didn’t bat an eyelash. “As always, Miss. I believe Mr. Yarbrough was interested in Starlight and wants to sign up for one of your horses that will be trained next Spring.” He smiled at Clear, obviously proud of his own maneuvering.
Clear smiled back. That was the way to show this stuff-shirt. “Sounds good. I really must be going.” As Mr. Yarbrough looked her up and down she half wished she had put on some make up, but brushed the thought off as she dashed out the door.
Grant was already in the car and had backed out waiting for her. As Clear hopped in Grant quipped, “I hope your friend isn’t too terribly disappointed?” He nodded toward Mr. Yarbrough, who was walking out of the barn with Mr. Smith.
“Immensely. He’ll get over it.” Clear flipped her hair nonchalantly over her shoulder. Grant grimaced at her casual attitude, once again wondering at the relationship she had with the snazzy-dressed man. Must not be too serious if she was driving off on a whim with him. Not a whim, he reminded himself. And it wasn’t for him, it was for his daughter. ‘Damn!’ He spun out of her driveway and got perverse pleasure watching her eyes widen as she latched onto the door handle to keep from sliding around his truck.
“Where are we going?” she asked breathlessly. The sound tickled his ear. He tried to ignore the warmth in his face.
“My house. I’ve got a few things I have to take care of before we head for Chicago.” He could feel her pull closer to the door. He simply assumed it was to gain leverage in case he took another wild turn.
Clear broke into a cold sweat at the thought of going to Grant’s house. The last time she had been there had been quite an intimate and beautiful experience, but after all that had happened… she felt herself blushing at the memories of their last time together at his house. She turned and stared out the window so he wouldn’t notice. He thankfully left her in peace. She could always wait in the car, she reasoned. How long could he possibly take? She would wait in the car, because she couldn’t bare the thought of going back in his house with him.
Grant pulled into the driveway and turned the truck off. They sat for a seemingly unending moment before he turned to her. “Um… do you want to come in?” he asked casually, but there was a strain in his voice. She heard it.
“No, I’ll just wait here,” she shrugged nonchalantly.
“Uh, can you move your stuff to the car? The truck gets shitty gas mileage.” He handed her a key as he said it. She jerked away as their fingers touched. “I’ll try to be quick.” With that he jumped out of the truck.
Clear watched him walk in the house and sat waiting for her knees to stop shaking. This was ridiculous! A simple brush of the fingertips should not be doing this to her! She jumped out of the truck and reached in the back for her bag. She stomped over to the car and opened the trunk shoving her bag in. She slammed the trunk. He made her so angry! So angry that she was slamming around like a two year old throwing a temper tantrum. She was volunteering to sit in a car and sulk, rather than act like a mature adult and go in the house. Steeling herself, she made her way to the house forcing herself not to stomp up the walkway. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door tentatively.
“Grant?” she called out as she walked in. She froze for a moment, feeling very lost. If she hadn’t watched Grant walk in moments before, she would have sworn she was in the wrong house. Everything had changed, especially the feeling in the house.
The last time she had been here this place had felt empty and was barely decorated. Now there was a hide-a-bed and TV in the middle of the living room and a screen separated Grant’s bedroom from the rest of the house. She looked at the TV and saw a gaming console and a collection of games and movies. Clear was trying to process the changes, and what they could possibly mean, when a tiny movement on the landing caught her eye.
A small girl stood at the bottom of the landing staring at her. Grant walked out of one of the rooms upstairs, saying something over his shoulder and she looked up in confusion, wondering if this was a vision. Grant stopped and looked down
at her and the little girl.
“Clear? I.. I thought you were waiting in the car?”
Two boys and an older girl followed Grant out of the room and the feelings of adoration slammed into Clear. She was overwhelmed and stood there with her mouth hanging open. Who were these kids and why did they have such strong feelings for Grant?
The teenage girl looked at Clear. “Who is that?” she asked Grant, scrunching up her face in obvious displeasure.
“Ah… um… this is Clear… a.. friend who is going to help me find my daughter.”
The little girl on the landing looked from Grant to Clear and her face crumpled “You mean this isn’t your daughter? I thought you wouldn’t have to go away!” she wailed.
Grant flew down the stairs and scooped her up. “Aw honey, I don’t want to leave you guys, but I have to do this. I promise, I’ll be back as soon as possible.” He looked at Clear meaningfully over the little girl’s head. The teen was right behind him in a flash.
“Everything will be fine,” she promised Grant. She reached in to take the little girl who was clinging fiercely to Grant’s neck. He shook his head gently.
“I still need to pack. I can take her for now Alice.” He walked off toward his room and Gloria and the oldest boy followed. The boy was lugging a suit case. “Put that on the bed, Tony.”
Tony picked up the thread of the conversation that Clear had apparently interrupted. He was talking about a track meet that was coming up. Clear could hear Grant responding with real interest. The youngest boy toddled into the room and chimed in periodically with comments that did not seem to have anything to do with the conversation.
“You cannot take that!” Alice gasped and Clear could hear her snatch something up. “That looks awful on you! Here, take this one instead.”
Grant chuckled. Clear couldn’t believe how adroit Grant was at giving each child attention while in the midst of all the chaos. Clear suddenly focused on what was being said as the mood shifted. Jeffy had just spoken.
Grant cleared his throat and spoke a little more quietly, “Yes… She is the lady I told you about. Alice, can you grab my shaving kit?”
Alice responded, “Here. She looks a lot younger than I imagined.” Clear could practically picture the sneer on her face.
“Come on. I told you she was a kid.”
“Yeah, but you didn’t tell us how hot she was!” This came from the teen boy, Tony, Clear thought. She could feel herself blush.
“Come on, man… not cool,” Grant muttered. This caused Clear to blush even more. She suddenly felt a presence at her side. She glanced over and there was another kid. This was a girl, probably eight or nine years old. She looked like she had just started to reach up to touch Clear.
“Are you the lady who helped Grant catch that bad guy?” The little girl asked tentatively. Clear felt herself blush even more. What had he told these kids? She nodded. The young girl burst into tears and hugged Clear fervently. “Thank you!” She gasped, burying her head in Clear’s waist. Clear felt a rush of pain, sadness and gratitude. “He killed our sister Kary. Thank you for helping catch him!” She sobbed and then pulled away and ran in with the others. Clear’s head was beginning to ache from all the fluctuation in emotions.
A few minutes later, Grant walked back out with a suitcase in one hand, the little girl in the other, Jeffy clinging to his leg and the others in tow. “You still have my cell number, right?” Grant asked Alice.
Alice rolled her eyes like the teen she was. “Yes, but we are fine.”
Grant gave her a suspicious cop look and she winked at him. “Mrs. Trevor next door will be checking in on you guys and I gave her money for groceries, so if you need anything, she can get it for you. She will be staying the night.”
“I can handle this,” Alice muttered.
“I know you can, Alice, but at your age you shouldn’t have to. Enjoy your youth a bit, kid.”
“I’d enjoy it more if you’d leave the keys to the truck,” Alice needled.
“Ha, fat chance! You only just got your permit. I would like everyone, including Mrs. Trevor, to be alive and well when I get back!” Grant smiled at her to let her know he was teasing her and she lit up like a torch. The train of people had made it to a few feet in front of Clear. Grant stopped and put the suitcase down. He turned to the kids and scooped up Jeffy and the little girl. “Alright Thing one and Thing two; you guys be good for your sister and Mrs. Trevor, right? Call me every night to say good night.” The two clung to him and the little girl smothered him in kisses. He set them down gently and they both wrapped their arms around a leg. He turned to the nine year old girl. “Be good Gloria, and keep your grades up.” He pulled her into a hug and mussed her hair.
“Come..… back… soon,” Gloria sobbed. “Please… Please don’t get hurt!!” She buried her face in his stomach. He held her with one arm and reached the other out to Tony. Tony offered his hand.
“While I’m gone, you’re the man of the house. Help Alice,” Grant nodded to Tony and Tony bit his lip suddenly looking a little bit younger. He nodded and shook Grant’s hand firmly.
“Yes sir.” Tony seemed to shrink a little more and become a little more vulnerable. Grant pulled him into a hug next to his sister.
“I know you will,” Grant said, voice sounding gruff.
Alice threw herself on the bunch and they all hugged fiercely for a few minutes. Clear was trying not to cry. She didn’t understand any of it, but even someone who wasn’t sensitive would feel the strong emotions in the room. For Clear it was completely overwhelming.
After a moment Grant broke the hug and coughed back the emotion in his voice, “We need to get going. I am still here for you guys, call me over any little thing, okay?” The kids were clinging to one another forlornly, but they all nodded. “I… I love you guys,” Grant said as he opened the door and stood aside for Clear to go first. The children didn’t respond to his words. Clear wasn’t sure if they had even heard them, it had been said so quietly.
Clear and Grant got in the car. The kids were all standing in the door waving Grant off. He waved to them one last time as he pulled out of the driveway. Clear had so many questions that she wanted to ask, but didn’t know if she had the right to ask them. It seemed that every minute with Grant reminded her how little she actually knew him. How did he end up with those kids?
After a few minutes of driving she decided to try and ask. “Well, I guess you have your hands full,” she said casually.
“Yeah.”
Silence. This looked like it might be a longer trip than she had anticipated. She gambled and tried again. “How long have they been living with you?”
Silence again. Just when Clear thought he would not answer, Grant began to laugh. It wasn’t the warm laughter he had shared with the children when they were bantering as he had packed. It wasn’t cruel or mocking either. Clear couldn’t quite put her finger on the emotions rolling off of him. Irony… perhaps?
“You are so casual about it. You act like I just got a puppy or something, not five kids.” He glanced at her sardonically. “If you want to ask something, why don’t you just ask?”
Something about his flippant attitude set her off. “Like I would even know where to begin? Obviously a lot has changed in your life in the last six months! Rather than me playing 20 questions, you could just fill me in!” Unless he didn’t want to fill her in. He had pretty effectively cut her out of his life. Obviously he didn’t want anything to do with her and was only here because he needed help finding his daughter. The thought sobered her and she added more quietly, “If you wanted to. It’s really none of my business.”
Grant cut his eyes at her, then sat quietly for a minute. He took a deep breath. “You are right. My life has changed a lot in the last six months and it is none of your business.”
Clear heard the resentment in his voice and her temper flared again. How dare he! He was the one who never called her, not the other way around!!!
Grant con
tinued, “But… it’ll kill time, so I might as well. After, you can tell me all about Mr. Fancy Pants.” Clear wondered for a moment who he was talking about, but then he began his story and she was much more interested in that.
“Do you remember one of the victims from the case, Kary?”
Images of a dark haired girl floated in Clear’s mind, but she couldn’t be sure. She shrugged.
“Anyway, before I decided to… trust you, I interviewed her family a couple of times and found out that their mom was on her own and there was some questionable stuff going on in the home. Kary had been taking care of her siblings before she got kidnapped, but without her they were sort of in a mess.” Grant’s eyes got a faraway look in them then he seemed to snap back. “Anyway, after the case closed the Chief gave me a month’s paid vacation and with all that time on my hands, I figured I’d look into the situation. It became even clearer that the kids were in serious trouble. The mom was a druggie and… there was other stuff going on. No dad in the picture. Alice had moved out with a friend, but couldn’t really do much for them. No one wanted to take on five kids. The kids didn’t want me to contact social services, because they couldn’t bare the thought of being separated. What else could I do?”
“You didn’t call me?” Clear muttered.
“What?” Grant glanced at her incredulously.
“What? I have plenty of room!” Clear snapped defensively.
“I was under the impression you valued your privacy,” Grant responded stonily. After a heartbeat he added. “You had been through a lot… and you’re just a kid,” he muttered.
“I am 24 thank you very much!” Clear retorted icily. So that was why he never called her back. She was good enough to have sex with, but not to have a relationship with! “I know plenty about kids!” She flipped her hair over her shoulder and looked out the window. “Besides it would have been better than having all those young girls living with a bache..” she clasped her hand over her mouth, her eyes wide at what she had been about to say.
