by Dillon, Kym
Dani rose and walked over to them. “Mark Harris, huh?” Her eyes were fixed shrewdly on the pair of them. “Sure. I remember Mark Harris. From school.”
“Allie, we should go.” Was it her imagination or was Mark’s voice was a couple octaves lower than normal? And was that a low humming sound coming from his chest a growl?
“Are you two seeing each other?” Dani asked, eyebrows raised.
“We’ve been spending time together.” Allie strove to keep her tone casual. This wasn’t any of Dani’s business. “We’re old friends, I’m sure you know.”
“She’s my lawyer,” Mark ground out brusquely, “that’s all.”
That stung. Allie understood that it might be hard for Mark to face people like Dani given his current situation, but he didn’t have to deny their friendship, did he? “We’ll see you around,” she told Dani firmly, and left the store without waiting for Mark. She found a seat on a bench outside.
He joined her a few seconds later with his own yogurt in hand. “You’re upset,” he stated.
“I don’t see why you told her there was nothing between us except that I’m your lawyer.” Allie couldn’t pretend she wasn’t a little angry about it. “If we’re mates, that’s going to last a lot longer than your legal troubles.”
“You hope.”
“So what am I supposed to do, pretend to be nothing but your lawyer every time we see someone we know? How’s that going to work once I get your case dropped? Or do we change the story then, and make me your real estate agent or something?”
“Allie, come on.”
“If you’re not ready to tell people we’re together, I get that,” she said. “But, why couldn’t you back me up when I told her we were hanging out, that we were friends? What’s wrong with that?”
“I was trying to protect you,” Mark said. “If people knew you and I had something between us…”
“Then what? They’d shun me, too? They’d gossip about us behind our backs? I’m not in middle school anymore, Mark. I don’t care what the mean girls say. I care about you. I care about us.” She tried to take his hand.
He snatched it away. “You don’t understand. You have no idea what you’re saying.” He sighed. “It was one thing when we were in my backyard, but being out here in the world...seeing her...I don’t even know who my enemies are exactly.”
“What are you talking about?” Allie was mystified. “You’re not making any sense, Mark.”
“I think we rushed into this agreement that we would be together,” Mark said.
She felt cold. “So now you don’t want me?” The thought of being without Mark was like being trapped underwater. He was taking away her air. “I thought we agreed it was my choice whether I wanted this life. Didn’t we agree to that? And do you really think such a petty thing as Dani Lawrence could scare me off?”
“It’s not that,” Mark insisted.
“Then what?”
“I don’t want anyone to see us together,” he said. “I don’t want anyone else to know.”
Allie felt a lump rise in her throat. She swallowed hard, trying to clear it. “You’re ashamed of me.”
“What? Allie, no, of course not! Come on…”
“I should have known,” she said. “Even when we were in school, it was like this. We were never really friends in front of other people, were we? Only at home. Only where no one else could see us. I was young and naive, and I told myself it was because you wanted to do boy things at school, but it was me. You were ashamed for the others to see you hanging out with me.”
“It wasn’t like that. You were the one not hanging out with me!”
“And you’re embarrassed that I’m your mate, aren’t you?” she whispered. “God, I should have seen it. You even told me, you don’t choose, the bear does.”
“Allie, I’m trying to protect you. I swear. I just want to keep you safe.”
Her eyes were full of tears. “I don’t believe you.”
“Allie, please—”
“I don’t need protecting.” She got to her feet. “Don’t worry, I won’t bother you anymore. I’ll stick to just being your lawyer, since that’s what you want.”
“Will you just listen to me!” he exploded.
But Allie couldn’t take any more. She turned and walked away from him, forcing herself not to look back so he wouldn’t see the tears streaming down her face.
11
By the time she’d arrived at home, Allie had begun to regret walking away from Mark the way she had. She didn’t want to end things with him. And, after all, it had sounded like he was trying to explain himself. Had she overreacted? Maybe she should go over to his house and try to reconcile.
But then again, he’d said he didn’t want anyone to see them together. He wanted to keep her a secret. How was she supposed to take that? He had said he’d wanted to protect her, but how much damage could town gossip really do? Besides, she was already going to attract a fair amount of talk for being his lawyer. Did he think it would be that much worse for her as his girlfriend?
And did he really think she would care about that? He must know exactly how she felt about him; the bond between them went both ways. As if she could possibly be turned away from him by the prospect of being unpopular!
The phone in her pocket rang. Grateful for the distraction, Allie answered it. “Hello?”
“Is this Allie James?”
“Speaking.”
“Ms. James, my name is Gerold Fitzpatrick, of Fitzpatrick, Wallace, and Grey.”
“The law firm?”
“That’s correct. I heard you were no longer with the Prosecutor’s office, and we wondered if you would be interested in trying your hand as a defense attorney?”
“You want to hire me?” Allie asked.
“Very much, if you’re amenable. Your record speaks for itself. And your ex-colleague Myra Cohen recommended you.”
Allie was surprised. She hadn’t even known Myra thought well of her work. “You’re aware that I was fired, right? For losing a big case?”
The voice on the phone chuckled. “Ms. James, we really must work on your predilection for honesty. There was no need for you to disclose that fact. I hadn’t even asked why you left your previous employer! As it happens, however, I am familiar with the circumstances, and I’m willing to overlook that incident in favor of your other attributes.”
“What attributes?” Allie asked.
“You’re a shark.”
At this, Allie had a mental image of herself shapeshifting into the form of a shark. Intimidating, until one realized that the shark would be left flopping around on whatever part of the land it had been standing on while in human form, a fish out of water. Were there aquatic shifters, or was it something that just happened with bears? She would have to ask Mark…
She told Gerold Fitzpatrick that she would consider his offer and hung up, feeling more confused than ever. If she had gotten this call just a few hours ago, saying no would have been easy, almost reflexive. She had awoken excited about the life she and Mark could build together in Cedar Rapids. Going back to New York had been the last thing on her mind. But now, after what Mark had said...it didn’t even seem as though he was serious about the two of them having a future? Even if she agreed to grant his absurd, insulting request that they not be seen in public together, how could that possibly work on a practical level? Would one of them always have to stay in the house? Wouldn’t it eventually become obvious that they were cohabitating? Or did he intend that she wouldn’t live with him? Maybe she was supposed to move into the apartment over the garage, maybe that was why he’d shown it to her. Or maybe he wanted her to keep living with her parents.
None of these scenarios were a viable option as far as Allie was concerned. She loved Mark. That much couldn’t be denied. She was willing to accept quite a lot because of that fact. She could accept that he was a bear—she could even be fond of that bear, she thought—and she could accept that he was regarded by most p
eople she knew, however unjustly, to be a murderer. She knew he was innocent. But the one thing she couldn’t live with was the idea that she was being jerked around. He would have to respect her, or this wasn’t going to work.
Besides, she needed a job. She had been hoping to find something in Cedar Rapids, but maybe staying wasn’t the best move after all. And, if she was going to return to New York, now might be the perfect time. Fitzpatrick, Wallace, and Grey was a highly prestigious law firm, and Allie knew it was a high honor to be offered a job there. As much as she cared for Mark, she was going to have to seriously consider accepting it.
* * *
The doorbell rang at seven thirty that evening.
Allie had been in her pajamas for hours, staring at an open book and trying not to let thoughts of Mark and what their relationship might or might not be plague her, but reading was impossible. Diverting her thoughts was impossible. Mark was everywhere. And now, here he was on her doorstep, his hair wet from the rain, his face full of regret. “Can I come in?”
“I guess.” She opened the door partway to admit him. “Take your clothes off, though, you’re soaked. I’ll get you something to wear.”
She left him in the front hallway and raided her father’s closet, uncovering a pair of sweatpants and flannel shirt. She brought them back to Mark and accepted his bundled wet clothes. “I’ll stick these in the dryer for you,” she said.
“Thanks.”
She waved in the direction of the living room. “Go and sit down, I’ll be right back.”
In the kitchen, Allie found herself stalling. If he was here to break up with her, she didn’t want to hear it. She made a pot of coffee and found some cookies, arranging everything on a tray with unnecessary care. Finally there was nothing left to do but join Mark in the living room and face whatever he’d come to say.
He had started a fire in her absence and was staring meditatively into the fireplace. She placed the coffee tray in front of him and joined him on the couch. “What’s up?”
“I owe you an apology.”
That was not what she’d expected. “What?”
“Allie, you’ve done nothing but jump through hoops to be with me. I saw how bad I made you feel when we were downtown today. I feel horrible about it. I hope you know how much I love and value you. When I said you were my mate...well, you feel it, don’t you? It’s bigger than anything else there is.”
“I feel it,” she said quietly. “It feels absolutely crazy, but...powerful.”
“I don’t ever want you to feel unwanted,” he said, taking her hands. “I want you to understand that whatever else happens, whatever else I say...there is nothing in this life I want more than you. And I know this has happened fast, but when a shifter finds his mate, that’s the way it is. It’s like gravity has changed. You’re the center of my universe now. I’m sure I’m scaring you…”
“You aren’t.” It was true. Allie felt exactly the same way as Mark was describing. He had caught her eyes with his own again, in that powerful way of his, and Allie felt like she was falling into him. The power of his hold on her should have been frightening, but instead it blanketed her in a feeling of security. He was all around her, like air, and yet he tethered her, like roots.
“I got a job offer,” she told him. The idea of leaving felt crazy now that he was in the room with her. What could she have been thinking? “A law firm in New York. I guess they’re headhunting me, because they just called to offer me a job, and I definitely didn’t apply to work there.”
Mark sat back a little, putting some distance between them, and dropped her hands. It was almost painful feeling him pull back from her. She wanted to crawl across the couch and into his arms. “That’s, uh, really wonderful,” he said slowly. “Congratulations.”
“Is that all you have to say?” she asked.
“What do you want me to say?”
“I don’t know. I thought you’d want me to stay.” Heat rushed to her face. Had she been stupid to think that? Had she assumed too much too quickly? But no, he’d just said, hadn’t he, that there was nothing in the world he wanted more than her?
“I do want you to stay. Selfishly, I want it more than anything in the world. But I could never ask it of you, Allie. I couldn’t ask you to turn down a good job and a chance to return to the city you love just to stay here, where you have nothing.”
She reached over and took his hand. “I don’t have nothing, Mark. I have you.”
“But I’m no good for you,” he said. “Just look at what happened today. All I meant to do was protect you, keep you safe—you’re not safe with me, Allie, no matter how brave you are, so don’t argue, please—and I hurt you. I know I did.”
She couldn’t deny it. “But that was one time,” she said. “People hurt each other, especially people in love. I never expected that this would be all rainbows and kittens.”
“I just want you to have everything you want in life,” Mark said. “Selfishly, I want you, yes, but when I step back from that, I want your happiness most of all. I want that so much, Allie. And if this job, and living in New York, are what will make you happy…”
Allie shook her head and pulled him close. “You make me happy, Mark. You’re what I want.”
He exhaled hard. “Really?”
“You have everything I want. You’re everything I’ve ever dreamed of.” She moved to straddle his lap and looked into his eyes. “Forget New York. Forget big shot legal teams. Forget all of it. I have a mate.” And, as she kissed him, fiercely and passionately, his arms closed around her and held on tight.
12
After several minutes, Mark pulled back from the kiss and looked at Allie. A grin had stolen its way across his face, and she smiled back. How easy things became when they stopped worrying and just allowed themselves to enjoy each other!
With a playful little growl, Mark got to his feet without putting Allie down and tossed her over his shoulder. She shrieked, kicking her feet and pounding her fists on his broad back. “Mark! Put me down! Put me down!” she cried, hoping that he would do nothing of the kind. Sure enough, he loped out the front door with Allie in his arms and crossed the street to his own house.
“Everyone’s going to think you’re kidnapping me,” she laughed. “I thought you were so worried about appearances!”
“I am kidnapping you,” he laughed, “I’m taking you home to my lair. I’m going to keep you forever and eternity, and never let you go.”
“I can walk,” she laughed along with him, pounding harder on his back. He didn’t react to her fists. It was almost as if he didn’t feel them. “Let me go, you big brute!”
They reached Mark’s backyard. He stepped through the gate and closed it behind him without adjusting his grip on Allie. “Well, now, where to put my feisty captive.” He marched over to the tree beneath which he and Allie had spent the night.
“Not outside,” she begged. “In the house, I don’t want to get rained on.”
He reached up and smacked her lightly on the ass. “Don’t argue. But, you have a point. We don’t want you getting all wet too soon, do we?” He chuckled. “I have just the spot—”
Mark fell silent. “Where?” Allie prompted.”
“Shh!” He lowered her gently to the ground. “Something isn’t right.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know, I…” He broke off and inhaled sharply, and his eyes widened. “Someone was here.” He crossed the yard faster than Allie would have thought humanly possible, looking frantic, sniffing like an animal. Allie flattened herself against the fence. She had never seen him that way, so close to the line between man and bear. He almost looked like he was bear already, like the animal had risen up inside his human form and the only thing that hadn’t changed was his appearance.
For several minutes, she stood unmoving as he seemed to forget about her altogether. He pushed his way through the overgrown weeds that dominated several patches of his yard, sniffing hard as though
expecting to find something. He looked up into the tree where he and Allie had sat and talked. He examined the trunk carefully. “What are you looking for?” Allie asked anxiously, but he didn’t answer, just continued to pace around the yard. Finally he stopped, shoulders heaving, turning in a slow circle to take in everything around him. He looked like he was waiting for something to jump out at him, and Allie felt a chill of foreboding.
“Mark,” she whispered, approaching him slowly. “What’s going on?”
“The scent…” he breathed. “That scent…”
Allie inhaled experimentally, but she could smell nothing more ominous than the scent of rotting apples that was ever-present in Mark’s backyard. “I don’t smell anything,” she said, approaching him tentatively.
“Blood,” he whispered.
A chill shot down Allie’s spine. “Blood?”
“Blood...and sweat…” his head darted around frantically, and she felt as if his ears should be cocked. His shoulders were hunched and his hands were curled in on themselves—although, Allie noticed, they weren’t quite fisted. Instead, he had bent each of his fingers into a claw shape, as if preparing to rake at something. His upper lip was peeled back from his teeth in the beginnings of a snarl. And an icy chill ran through Allie.
“Mark,” she whispered, taking an almost involuntary step backward, “are you going to shift?”
He didn’t answer. He was breathing deeply and quickly, almost panting. His eyes were closed, and his muscles seemed to ripple. Allie was torn. Should she stay close, attempt to calm him and keep him from shifting? Or should she back away and let it happen? How much danger was she in, exactly?
I’m his mate, she told herself firmly. If I can’t help him, nobody can. I may be the only one who can help. She couldn’t stand to watch him suffer. She took a deep breath to bolster herself, then closed the distance between them and put a hand on his arm. “Mark,” she said softly. “”Mark, it’s me, it’s Allie. Calm down and tell me what’s going on.”
