Sheila was left with the most unenviable task that could be imagined to convey the message to Amit and keep him pacified at the same time. If there was anyone in the entire family who was capable of accomplishing that task, it was her. She was mentally preparing herself to break the news to him at the right moment. She was calm and poised. She had no doubt that the best time to divulge the message to him was after dinner when Amit loved to talk. To make doubly sure that no one else blurted out the message awkwardly, she kept a vigil all the time before dinner and made a point to serve him the dinner herself. After dinner she was with Amit as usual discussing the sweet memories of the childhood. No one knew when the matter concerning Monika’s return was discussed.
Nevertheless, without an iota of doubt Sheila kept control over the discussion. There was no fire or fury, no exchange of words, no raised voices. Sheila tamed the tiger. It appeared to be simply God’s design and grace that Sheila was on the spot at a crucial moment to avert a possible disaster. Otherwise, it was well-nigh impossible for Rajani to douse the fire alone.
Rana remained totally distressed since he returned from the school in the afternoon. He was simply astounded by this sudden exposure of the dirty linen of the family, not knowing whom to trust. So he did not know how to react to the situation. He went through the act of doing his homework for the next day. Nothing entered his perplexed brain. He ate a quiet and uneasy dinner and went to bed early. He could not sleep and tossed on the bed the whole night. He was not sure what to expect next.
The following morning, Amit’s official car came to take him to work as usual. Rana’s school bus came on time to transport him to school. Before he returned home in the afternoon, Rajani had already come back from her country house. Monika remained there alone but in the good company of Rajani’s mother and sisters. There was no further visible reaction from any side. Everything remained hush-hush! In a few days Amit went back to his work place. Sheila too bade goodbye. Rana learnt from Rajani’s monologue in his presence that by strict instructions of Amit, Monika was barred from coming to the Garden Lakes house. Neither was Rana allowed to go to the country house to see Monika. Amit also made it abundantly clear that if there was any breach in carrying out his instructions, he would stop the flow of money. Nonetheless, Rajani was also a tough and shrewd weather beaten bird without being unnecessarily cantankerous.
She was now in a battle of attrition with her son Amit. She was open-hearted. She accepted the apology of her daughter-in-law, Monika and acquiesced in her unconditional surrender after an act of defiance. Now Rajani was ready to wage a silent campaign to wear down her own son. She was not in peace leaving Monika alone in the country house. So she made it a point to visit her twice a month for a few days each time to let Monika know that she cared. She also knew that despite the hard words, there was no way Amit would know if Rana were to visit with his mother. She also got strength from the fact that though everyone in the family loved Amit, looking at Rana alone the overwhelming opinion of the family was to lift any barrier between the mother and the son. So in a few months, before one of her trips to her country house, Rajani told Rana, “This time you will come with me to see your mother.” Then she cautioned him, “Just don’t tell anything to your father. No one else would divulge anything to him.”
Rana had never been disobedient to Rajani. He just nodded but did not say anything else. He had no intention to tell anything to his father. At the same time, he had no compelling desire to go to Monika either. He did not feel emotionally drawn to Monika. Could any one blame him for that? After all, in his mind she was dead almost all his life. To him, Rajani was his mother all these years and he was perfectly happy with that position. Nonetheless, he would go and see Monika for two reasons: Firstly, Rajani asked him to go; he never said ‘no’ to her. And secondly, he wished to fulfill his own curiosity. He wanted to see how it felt like getting close to one’s own mother. The first time he sat on his mother’s lap, it was in such a nervous hurry tinged with disbelief that he did not realize what actually happened. What with amazement and what with shyness he did not even look at his mother’s face. This time he would go and see his mother with some mental preparation. Rana tried to visualize how he would greet his mother, what she might ask, how he would respond and things of that nature. Though his feelings about Monika were buried under layers of ice, he meant no ill toward her. He wanted to make sure that he did not say or do anything impolite to hurt her feelings anyway.
The scheduled date arrived. It was the third Saturday of April. Summer was on its full blast. Rajani and Rana set out for her country house early in the morning. The intention was to present Monika with her only son whom she had left for no fault of his. There was no communication for eight long years. No attempt whatsoever was made to know if the son was dead or alive. Those eight fateful years changed thousands of years of history. The country was partitioned. Millions of men, women and children lost their lives. Millions of others were maimed and mauled and were displaced, losing their possessions and livelihood. It was a miracle just to be alive. But not an enquiry was made on the safety and health of the only son. On the other side of the spectrum, Rana would be formally introduced to his own mother who was declared and known to him to be deceased for almost eight out of nine years of his life. How would a child connect automatically to his supposedly ‘dead’ mother? No explanation was given; no attempt was made to understand a child’s mind. Nevertheless, his total allegiance and unstinted affection toward his mother was taken for granted. On the surface, it was a happy reunion! Under the veneer, the saddest music of a deepest tragedy was playing its solitary tune in the desolate silence of an innocent mind. Yet Rana was brave. He kept his feelings within himself. His inner mind whispered to him to be decent and courteous.
Monika was inside. Rajani did not have to ring the bell. She had the key to the entrance. Hearing the sound at the gate, Monika came out to the courtyard. When they came near her, Rajani said, “Here is your mother, greet her.”
Rana could not quite look at her eyes, but bowed down respectfully as he would do to Rajani. Monika tried to be as affection ate as possible. However, it was not easy to shake off eight years of guilt. She kissed his forehead and said, “At long last Rana remembered his mother!”
Rana did not respond. He simply concealed his response under an innocent smile. He did not have to respond to that benign chiding, real or imaginary. He was not certainly responsible for that impulsive and imprudent separation.
It was a hot and sizzling summer day. Rana was sunbaked and thirsty. But he was shy to ask for water. However, expecting the visit of Rajani and Rana she cooked some breakfast for them. Without Rana’s asking she prepared the table and served him with the breakfast and, of course, water to drink. For the first time in his memory he ate something cooked and served by his mother. He thanked Monika for the breakfast as he would do to Rajani. Nothing more was said or asked at that time. When the flute is broken, it loses its tune. No amount of nudging would bring it back to life. On the one hand, how does a mother start a real dialogue with her child whom she abandoned for eight long years for no fault of his? And on the other, how does a child become ecstatic by seeing his mother who had been pronounced dead for almost all his living years? A broken crystal may be glued together, but nothing would bring back its original luster; nothing would make it whole again.
As Monika got busy cooking the midday meal, Rana went out next door to visit with his great-grandma Nandini after a long hiatus. She became eighty-seven yet remained as alert as ever. She stooped forward a little and her movement became slower, but her memory and eye-sight still remained sharp. She saw Rana entering the house and got up from his seat to greet him. She was as warm and affectionate as ever. She wanted to know everything that happened to him since their last meeting. Rana felt her presence, her touch, her love as comforting and soul restoring as always. From the morning he was tensed with the prospect of meeting with his “Dead-but-back-to- life-again-mother.”
Now he felt a little relaxed. Nandini then carefully took out from behind her seat a small container filled with some home made sweets and cookies that she cooked for Rana at that ripe old age. She gave the container to him, lowered her voice and said, “Eat quickly before your grandma comes,” as she always used to say when he was much younger. She watched him eat the cookies with great pleasure and kept talking to him at the same time. No sooner did he finish eating them than she drew her mouth closer to Rana’s ear and whispered, “Good that you came to see your mother. Come soon and often, God will be pleased with you.”
The nature of love is this. It always seeks and finds ways of nurturing the psyche of the object of love with the superlative thoughts and ideals as the victuals imperative for the journey of life.
In the early afternoon, Sarojini and Padmini came from work. The Government Offices used to work half-a-day on Saturdays. The two sisters were delighted to see Rana after a long time. Upon exchange of pleasantries both of them said almost in a chorus, “Rana is a good boy for he has come to see his solitary mother.”
The child’s mind in Rana almost felt guilty as if he could come and see his mother at any time at his sweet will. But how much a nine year old could express about that whole complicated matter? So he chose to remain quiet under his innocent smile. However, it could be said in support of his uneasy silence that those comments might have been made to make Rana feel good, but his goodness was predicated upon his coming to see his mother and making her happy, ignoring the fact totally that he did not have the authority to make any decision in that matter. His father Amit, who was the sole decision maker by virtue of his being the provider of sustenance to the family, had categorically forbidden him through Rajani to come and see his mother. Despite that, he gathered courage to come and uplift his mother’s languishing spirits only because Rajani took the responsibility to circumvent her son’s instructions. In a quagmire like that, the grown-ups often fail to choose their words and end up hurting the innocent. Besides, in the eye of Rana, Monika was the guiltier between his two parents because she was the one who left him in the lurch without any consideration of its effect on his tender mind.
In any case, little later Rajani came and joined in the conversations. Suddenly, Nandini said, “Why not we all eat our lunch together so that we can also talk at the same time?” The sisters agreed with their mother without any hesitation. While at lunch, the women began exchanging information about the extended family and old friends. Rana was eating quietly with his head down. In presence of his newly found mother, he still could not come out of his shell. In order not to cross his mother’s eyes, he kept his eyes fixed on his plate. Suddenly, Nandini asked him if he liked his mother’s cooking. Admittedly, Monika was not a seasoned cook. In her father’s palace she did not have to cook because they had royal cooks. In any case, Rana did not learn to displease anyone. So he nodded his head to signify he liked the food. Besides, he took a decision before coming that he would not say or do anything impolite that might hurt his mother’s feelings.
Rana brought some homework for his school that he was required to submit on Monday. While he was busy completing them in the evening, Monika came with some gifts that she had handcrafted herself for Rana. They were a set of tablecloth for Rana’s study table embroidered beautifully in the middle and at the corners and half-a-dozen handkerchiefs with nice designs on the three corners and the initials of his name on the other. Rana thanked her as he would do to Rajani. She asked him questions about his school and the Garden Lakes house. He responded them respectfully. She then talked about her brothers, nephews and nieces. Rana never knew them. Nonetheless, he listened to her patiently without any comments. Among few other things Monika also mentioned that Sheila, Kamala and Devika came to see her there. Dinner was served shortly. After dinner the women got busy with some more family talks. But it was a long day for Rana. He was drained out mostly because of the stress related to his efforts to accommodate Monika in his mental frame.
Next morning, Rajani and her sisters planned to go for shopping at a near by market. Rajani asked Rana if he would like to go with them or stay with his mother. He felt no compulsion to stay with his mother. So he went with them. On returning home from shopping everyone else got busy performing their daily chores. Rana decided to spend that valuable time in the reassuring presence of his octogenarian great-grandma Nandini. Sensing her days were numbered, he wanted to reap rich harvest of the bounty of her precious mind.
In the late afternoon, the departure time approached invariably. Rana took leave of Nandini, Sarojini and Padmini. Monika began sobbing. She kissed Rana’s forehead and bit his right little finger to shoo away the evil from touching her son! However, there was no respite for her from the punishment handed down to her by the Architect of the River of Life for her excessive ego and dereliction of duties. The River of Life is understanding and accommodating on the one hand, but unrelenting stickler of duties on the other. Monika might see her son soon and often, but was destined to serve her punishment to the last minute.
Rajani and Rana came back to the Garden Lakes house. He felt sorry for his mother as he would for anyone else under similar circumstances. What else could he do? In his life that day will remain as a day to ponder, a day of reflection. All said and done, however, that day he was able to somewhat alleviate the drooping spirit of his mother, who had been non-existent to him almost all his life. At least he could give her a ray of hope that things might change for the better soon, the hope that was eluding her even the day before he went to see her.
God created His planet earth and the River of Life. He handed down the laws to govern the planet earth to his greatest creation man as the driving force behind the River of Life. When life became complicated, the ruler man began framing laws that often deviated from the laws given by God through His servant Moses in many ways. The reasons for the deviations were two: Firstly, it became difficult for man to understand and anticipate every nuance of life to cover each one of them in his legal framework; and secondly, man’s ego prevented him to acknowledge the laws given by God for he perceived himself as the ruler of the earth governing it all by himself. As a result, many finer points of life fell through the gap of the jurisprudence that the human lawmakers framed. The snapping of relationship between Amit and Monika in the wake of a flippant and meaningless feud was one of them. However, nothing slips through the laws of the River of Life. In it the governing laws are plain and simple and no one can escape its judgment even for a split second. Neither Monika nor Amit had any other alternative but to undergo the punishment awarded to them by the River of Life to the last minute, for it is said in the Bible: “Behold, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.” (Revelations 12–13).
Whatever God gives, reward or rebuke, is handed down by the River of Life in the course of the daily happenings of life. Man cannot see or understand it because man’s ego driven by the abuse of the precious mind that God Himself bestowed on him, has blurred his vision and vitiated his faculty of understanding. Thus the River of Life, while flowing incessantly to its imponderable destiny, carries with it the judgments of its Creator and hands them down to mankind without dabbling in their egos or emotions.
BLOSSOMING
Time goes on and the River of Life flows on with dispassionate rationality. Apparently, there are two seasons in the River of Life: the season of creation and the season of destruction. In the season of creation it is in the mood of giving; it is in serene contemplation for creation and preservation; it is in raptures for the celebration of the new. In the season of destruction the River of Life over flows its banks and washes away all that overstep its creative abandon; it weeds out all the unwanted growths that act as impediments on its way. In actuality, however, there is no season of destruction. For in the depth of destruction lie the seeds of newer and greater creation. Thus the two seasons of
the River of Life are the season of creation and the season of re-creation. There is no destruction.
Next few years were virtually eventless for Rana, considering the tidal waves that he had to weather in his earlier days. That was the time for creation; that was the time for growth. Days came in and days passed by. Years rang in and years rang out. And Rana was blossoming both in physical and mental dimensions. On the home front, Rajani and Amit continued to be delighted with his conduct over education and life in general. He kept on visiting with Monika at regular intervals. Amit came to know about it, but did not have any arguments against it; so he never tried to interfere. Thus Rajani won the first battle of attrition against her son. Rana’s relationship with his mother remained respectful. It never reached and perhaps was never expected to reach the natural endearing relationship between a mother and a son. A broken picture however repaired remains broken forever.
There is no rest for the River of Life. It is never weary to embrace change either. It is always in a state of flux. Rana got submerged in this flux. He became sixteen and graduated from the high school with distinction. He got his admission to the best missionary college with Honors in Economics. Soon he began a new life, his college life. It was a whole new ball game. Unlike in a school, the college professors used to treat the students with respect. There was so much liberty, it was unbelievable. The responsibility for success was on the shoulders of the students. The ball was squarely on the student’s court. It was fair enough. It matched Rana’s idea about maturity. So Rana was happy.
A Bend in the River of Life Page 5
