“Oh shit!” said Kelsie, both of her hands gripping onto my hips, me still grinding against her, feeling all tingly in my own sex, and her lissome frame began to shake and shiver. I could tell that she was reflexively convulsing in orgasmic delight and it made me feel so spectacularly amazing that I could take her there. With greater enthusiasm, I grooved into her, pumping my pelvis, feeling our richly wet flesh slip together with all the tickles and throbs that came with it.
Kelsie continued to buzz and vibrate as she traversed through her pleasure. Slowing my pace, I steadily watched her, my heart feeling suffused in adoration. Then, as Kelsie’s tremors subsided, I stopped my movements completely and smiled down at her she opened her eyes.
“Wow,” she said, bringing a palm to her brow and wiping away a few small beads of sweat. “What did I tell you?”
“It feels good,” I admitted, catching up with my quickened breath.
“Aw,” Kelsie said, looking up at me with a sweet grin. “I love seeing you from this angle.” Reaching up slowly, Kelsie adoringly cradled one of my breasts and gave me a little rub down. “Thanks for indulging me, Audra. I know it can be daunting to try new stuff.”
“Can I tell you something I’d like?” I said in a low, secretive, almost embarrassed tone. I began climbing off of her, feeling quite sticky and humid between my legs.
“Of course,” said Kelsie reassuringly, dropping one of her hands to her middle and giving herself a lazy rub down. I watched as her fingers pushed over her fur and through her lips and this little action on Kelsie’s part amped up my arousal even further. I felt so close to her in that moment, so ready to open up. It was almost as though we had been together forever.
“Okay,” I said, taking a breath. “I’ve always kinda wanted someone to… um… touch my rear.” It felt really good to get it out, to admit to a lover something that I had wanted to try for a long time, but I was still uncertain as to how Kelsie would react. I mean, I knew people thought that was weird but so what, I was weird, and I just felt like I should go for it.
“Totally!” beamed Kelsie. With that, she quickly leapt up to her knees and slithered her body around mine, her hand quickly moving down between my cheeks and before I knew it I felt her finger pressing with a gentle firmness against my puckering.
“Hey!” I said, squirming, but Kelsie just laughed.
“I’m just kidding,” she said, returning to sitting upright, the two of us on our knees together on the bed. After an expectant moment, Kelsie leaned in and placed a kiss on my lips, inspiring me to lean into her and return it. I felt her hand press against my chest as we longingly kissed. It was soft and sweet and wonderful.
“Mmm,” I moaned lightly as our kiss came to an end. My eyes opened and saw her looking back at me.
“Anything you want,” said Kelsie. “I’m just happy we can be together.” Her hand dropped to my thigh and tenderly rubbed my skin back and forth.
The next thing I knew I was laid back in the sheets, wriggling around, legs akimbo, hands up into the mess of pillows and gripping to their softness, Kelsie positioned between my legs and passionately absorbing my moist pinkness into her mouth. It felt transcendent. I was making my pleasure heard through the dripping moans exiting my lips.
Kelsie hummed against me as she lapped her tongue upwards, then bringing her fingers into the mix and starting to prod softly at me, her fingertip tracing against my slit before opening me up and caressing over the supple flesh inside. I was buzzing and lost, perhaps somewhat intoxicated from the wine, maybe a little bit from the small joint we had smoked on the roof before we returned to her room, but most likely from her exalting licks and loving strokes. I spread my legs further, opening myself up, as though I were begging for even more lusty sweetening.
I felt the rhythm of my heart redouble as Kelsie’s finger, the one that had been prodding against my rosy blossom, travelled further down my crevasse, traipsing over my matted hair, and began rubbing along the crinkles of my backside. Something about this attention, an experience I had fantasized about for a while, inspired some sort of enthusiastic fervor in me. I groaned out, I kicked my leg automatically, just because of her light touch. I heard, and felt, Kelsie giggle against my lips as she continued to kiss and lick me.
“You like?” I heard Kelsie say, her lips vibrating into mine below.
“Mm hmm.”
I steadied my breath and attempted to relax, focusing on my inhale and then on my exhale, as I felt Kelsie’s moist fingertip manipulate and caress me. Then, just the tiniest bit of her fingertip was pressing against my rear, causing me to open up and after that it was all over. It was like I was no longer in control of my body. Rather, Kelsie was guiding me. She was in charge. I felt almost numb with pleasure throughout my midsection, every little nerve ending I had in my undercarriage standing at attention and awaiting Kelsie’s command.
“Oh God,” I intoned, bringing a hand to my chest in an attempt to steady myself. I could feel my own heart rapping against my breast from the inside, the time between beats shortening.
With her mouth pressed firmly against my cherry, offering concentrated suckles, and her finger pushing into my rear, probably no more than an inch, pulling back out again with cherishing regard, Kelsie made me feel like everything was all right, everything was going to continue to be all right, and that I was indeed worthy of love. Although I can admit that her attentions between my thighs were amazingly fulfilling, it was these thoughts of acceptance that tossed me like a rag doll over the coital cliff.
I thrusted my hips up into the air, lifting my butt off the sheets, Kelsie coming with me and remaining steadfast in her occupation. I was warm and cold at the same time, my toes twinkling with numbness, sweat pilling from my forehead, my underarms, the small of my back. At first, as I came, I released a deep guttural sound from my mouth but after that it was all whines and cries, much higher pitched noises that I tried to stifle by burying my head into a pillow.
I squirmed and I kicked, my body moving of its own accord, so fixated on the chemical release in my brain of vivid indulgence that I hardly felt Kelsie back off from me, her lips pulled away, her finger casually removed. Yet I still bucked there on the bed, control of my figure no longer in my possession.
As it all gradually came to an end, the butterflies fluttering from my belly, a clear soberness entering my mind, I opened my eyes and saw Kelsie laying there next to me, adoringly shushing me, her hand petting the damp mound of fur at my center, her fingernails lightly dragging through it. She shushed me with a smile, green eyes bright, looking into my soul. I craned my neck out and eagerly kissed her, tossing an arm around her so that our sweaty bodies could become even closer, almost breast to breast.
“It’s okay,” Kelsie whispered, cradling me. She ran her fingers through my hair as she held me, my face now buried into her shoulder. I kissed her skin, then I licked it, tasting her saltiness. It was comforting. I kissed her shoulder again.
As our legs intertwined, our bodies pressed together, our arms holding each other, I concentrated on my breath and harmonized it with my heart beats. Everything felt right. This was where I was meant to be. It all seemed so simple, so easy, so transparent. I mean, this right here, laying nude and drenched with Kelsie, the both of us with glowing complexions, limbs networked together in an indolent after-sex idleness, this was the stuff life was really made up of. Love. Not fretting anxiety and worry. This. Just love, just acceptance.
I felt true intimacy with Kelsie, a parsimonious endowment, and it was a gift I intended to hold near and dear to my heart. It was something special that I felt I had never been given before. Not with former lovers, not even with my family. I didn’t know love like this. I didn’t know this type of connection. It made me want to cry. But not out of sadness or self-pity for being denied something like this for so long, but rather because I had found it. Because I was fortunate to have this kind of love show up in my life. I knew then I had been closed and guarded with Kelsie, always a
bit defensive, a fear-based reflex surely, but I was committed to dropping all that. I knew that with Kelsie by my side I could have the confidence to do what I needed to do to really open up to the world.
I felt truly blessed to have made this phenomenal discovery.
The next morning I stepped out of the elevator and sashayed through the hallway toward the lobby of the hotel. After some conversation with Kelsie to build my confidence, I had come downstairs to talk with Jake. He had been such a great boss, a great person really, father-like, accepting, one of the only people in Champlain I felt that I had truly forged a connection with. But that connection wasn’t enough to keep me here. It was just something I knew I had to acknowledge and then move on.
I had the morning off, though I was scheduled to work later in the afternoon, so as I rounded the corner and came to the front desk, I saw Meredith sitting there behind the computer monitor. She smiled as she saw me, though her face became slightly befuddled as she tried to place why I was there in the hotel that morning.
“Good morning, Audra,” she said. “I didn’t think you’d be in until the afternoon.”
“That’s true,” I said. “I’m not scheduled until later. Have you seen Jake around?”
“I believe he’s in his office,” said Meredith through a toothy smile.
“Great,” I said, continuing my walk past her. “Have a good morning, Meredith.” I offered a wave to her.
“You too, dear!” she called out after me.
I made my way across the lobby and toward a closed door off to the side labeled ‘Private.’ Taking a deep breath as I approached it, I gently knocked on the door and waited for a response.
“Come in,” I heard through the door.
This was it. No going back now that the ball was rolling. This was the beginning of the rest of my life.
Jake’s office was small and cluttered, barely enough room for the guest chair that sat in front of his wooden desk. Behind the desk were a few tan filing cabinets. The walls were cinder blocks painted white.
“Audra?” said Jake, looking at me with the same confused look that Meredith had given me. “What are you doing here?”
“Morning Jake,” I said, stepping inside the office. “Mind if I sit?”
“Sure,” he said, motioning across his desk toward the guest chair. “Take a seat.”
And I did. I tried to focus on the confidence that had been brewing inside of me and push the fear away. It’s not that I was afraid that Jake would be upset, I knew he’d be disappointed, it’s that I was just afraid of change, of moving into the unknown, and this was just the first step in that process that was quickly unraveling before me.
“So what’s up?” he asked. “I didn’t think you’d be here until later today.”
“Right,” I said. “Well, I’m here early because I needed to talk to you.”
“I see,” he said. “Yeah, you said last night…”
“I’m leaving, Jake,” I said. “I’m leaving Champlain for good, I think.”
“Oh,” he said, slowly nodding, looking down at some of the paperwork on his desk. “This is, like, a definite thing?”
“It is,” I said. “I think I’m leaving tomorrow.”
“You think you are? Or you are?”
“I am.”
“Does this have something to do with the movie people?” Jake asked cautiously. “Or is that all just a coincidence.”
“It does have something to do with them,” I admitted. “It’s about the actress. Kelsie Kent.”
“Huh,” said Jake. He was quiet for a little while. “I guess I did notice you had been hanging around with her a lot.”
“I’m sorry,” I mused shyly, looking away. “I didn’t mean for it to get in the way of my job or anything.”
“That’s okay, Audra,” said Jake. “No, I understand. I know that this town has been a little bit alienating for you. And being that you, you know… like the company of other women,” he said in such a cutely naive embarrassed why that instantly endeared him to me. “Well, I can see there’s little opportunity for you here in Champlain.”
“I’m really glad you understand,” I said.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do without you,” Jake said with sadness in his voice. “You’ve been working here at the hotel for so long.”
“Meredith is really coming along,” I said, trying to console him. “I’m sure she’ll be happy to be given the job full-time.”
“Perhaps,” said Jake wistfully. “But it won’t be the same without you behind the desk.”
“This is just something I should have done a long time ago,” I admitted. “Something that I was probably too scared to do. I’ve been stuck in my life for as long as I can remember.”
“I know,” he said. “I know things got tough for you when your mother left. And this town, it just didn’t happen like some of the other resort towns on the west side of the state. We didn’t explode with tourists and vacationers like some of the others. I guess I don’t expect that the Hotel Champlain will be able to keep up.”
“It could still happen,” I said. “This movie has probably been a boon. We were written up in a couple of the papers.”
“I know,” Jake said, his lips flat, expression even. He didn’t believe it. “But when all the young people, the people like you, when they leave a town, it makes it hard for that town to thrive.”
“It’s not over yet,” I said. “But it’s over for me. I need something more.”
“So… what? You’re moving to Los Angeles with this movie star?” he asked. “That’s something more?”
“I guess so. I don’t know. I guess that’s right.”
“I’ve never been out there,” he said. “But it seems nice. Good weather.”
“I think I’m just excited for the change,” I said. “For the possibility.”
“Not much of that here in Champlain,” Jake acquiesced.
“No.”
“Okay,” said Jake with finality. “Thanks for coming to me. I appreciate the talk and not just, you know, a no show type of thing.”
“This has meant a lot to me,” I admitted. “The Hotel Champlain. And you. You’ve been like a father to me.”
“I appreciate that.”
“I mean, I’ve told you a bit about my home life,” I went on. “You know.”
“I know.”
“I just need to get out there and live a little bit more,” I said.
“I’m with you, Audra.”
The two of us sat there in silence for a moment before Jake took the lead and stood up. I followed him and came to my feet.
“Good luck,” said Jake, stepping around his desk and wrapping his arms around me. “You’re irreplaceable around here but I wish you the best.”
“Thank you,” I said softly, returning Jake’s hug. It felt nice to be appreciated.
“There’s always a place for you here,” he said after our hug ended. He offered me a big smile. “If it doesn’t work out in Los Angeles, you can come back here.”
“That means a lot to me,” I said. But I sincerely hoped it would never come to that. I wasn’t eager to return to Champlain. The hotel was important to me, surely, but sometimes you just have to leave important things behind to discover even more important things in your life. If I could bring the Hotel Champlain with me to Hollywood, I might do that. But that was probably just the desire for comfort in me speaking. If I wanted to grow, I needed to take the risk and try something new. That was never going to happen here.
“Thanks for your years of service, Audra,” said Jake. “Stay in touch.”
I knew that I wouldn’t, though. I knew that it would be too difficult. I had a lot of baggage in this town and even though I loved Jake and knew what a positive influence he had been on me, I also knew that if I wanted to move forward I had to jettison everything that kept me tied to my old life. It was sad to think like that, it really was, it nearly brought a tear to my eye, but that was just part of thi
s whole thing. This whole growing thing. Change. Accept your past for what it is, good and bad, and just move into the future. I could be stagnant water no longer. I’d became dank and dreary with my lack of movement. It was time to jostle things around a bit and give my stream a chance to flow.
It wasn’t so scary after all, letting Jake know I was leaving. I’d built up the conflict in my mind but when I got to the moment, it wasn’t that bad. Fear can be crippling sometimes, it can keep you doing from what needs to be done. But once you’re on the other side of that fear, the skies are pretty damn clear and the waters are more still than I’d ever seen them.
“I mean, what am I even gonna do out there?” I asked with some trepidation in my voice as Kelsie and I sat on a large piece of driftwood on the beach of Lake Michigan. The sun shone bright above us, the tide lazily rolled in. We held hands, fingers loosely together, just indolently hanging out. I wanted to see my beach one more time before I left.
“You’ll figure it out,” she said, looking into the water through the dark lenses of her sunglasses. “I’ll help you.”
“Thanks,” I said, giving her hand a squeeze. “I could be a writer. Maybe I could write movies.”
“Really?” asked Kelsie with a laugh as she butted her shoulder into mine. “You don’t even like movies!”
“Does a person have to like the thing they write to actually be successful at it?” I smirked.
“Well…” said Kelsie, considering it. “I guess I don’t know the answer to that.”
“There you go,” I said with a smile.
“You know, movies are pretty dang amazing,” she said. “I’m going to change your mind.”
“I’m open to it,” I said. “I know I’m just being silly. I think I just got bored of the movies I was watching. And I always found more solace in my books. And maybe a little bit of pretension.”
“Maybe a little.” She grinned.
“But I can’t help but be scared,” I went on. “Like, I have no idea what to expect out in LA.”
Hotel Hollywood: A Lesbian Romance Page 12
