I looked over at Kelsie once more, the smallest, cutest little sporadic snore coming from her nose as she slept, and I felt tears stream down either side of my face. I believed. How could I not?
“I love you, Kelsie,” I said aloud to her. She smiled.
Kelsie and I stood together in the lobby of the Hotel Champlain, both of us tired, having not got enough sleep the night before. She was dressed in an ankle-length grey dress, an athletic stretchy material, sleeveless and casual, with sandals on her feet, a straw hat on her head with her red tresses tumbling out behind, sunglasses over her eyes. Without a bra on underneath, the slightest outline of her nipples could be seen through the fabric. I could just gaze at her for hours, drink her in with all my senses, describe her in thousands and thousands of words with a pen and paper, and I still could not even touch how wonderful I thought she was. How beautiful. How brilliant.
She caught me looking at her and she grinned.
“Like what you see?” Kelsie radiated light.
“Totally.”
All around us stood other people from the cast and crew of the movie, each of them roving about, chatting groggily with one another, suitcases and bags in hand. It was different than I’d ever imagined something like a Hollywood film production would be. It felt… normal. These were just people, just normal people like me. Of course, there was a certain preference granted to Kelsie, Josh Timony, some of the producers, the director. But I personally had a difficult time seeing the line and where it was drawn. Maybe that was my naivety. Maybe that would change once I got into the thick of it in LA.
“Does everybody just… co-mingle like this?” I asked Kelsie sheepishly. “Is that how it’ll be on the plane?”
“No,” she said. “We’re taking the studio jet. Most of the crew will be on a normal airline.”
“Okay,” I said. “So, like, what… we’ll just be mostly alone on-board?”
“Yeah,” laughed Kelsie. “And I’ll be able to lean over and finger you.” As she said this, Kelsie snuck a single finger up the leg of my shorts and wiggled it around, stirring an embarrassed laugh out of me.
“Stop it!” I giggled, smacking her hand. She laughed along with me. “Are you serious?”
“Am I serious?” she repeated. “Am I going to finger you on the jet? No, Audra, of course not. You’re a freak.”
“Well, I wouldn’t stop you,” I said off-handedly, looking away and shrugging.
“There will be other people around,” said Kelsie matter-of-factly. “And although I’m sure some of them would quite enjoy the show, I’m not that girl.”
After a little more playful back and forth, we were interrupted by a call for attention from the front of the lobby. It was Jennifer. She whistled loudly and waved her arms back and forth to make herself look big.
“All right everyone,” Jennifer called. “Please focus up here. The busses have arrived and we’re about to head to the airport. Everyone flying on the commercial regional airline, make sure you’ve got your ticket. You’ll be flying from Ford International in Grand Rapids to Chicago O’Hare, where you should have a quick layover before you fly back to LAX.”
When Jennifer said this, I suddenly felt a minor frenzy. I didn’t have a ticket. For whatever reason, I patted myself down, checking my back pocket, checking my bag, just to see if I had completely spaced out on the entire thing.
“No, it’s okay,” cooed Kelsie in a low murmur, stilling my arm with her hand. “We don’t need tickets.”
“Crew, I want you all to board busses 2, 3, and 4 when you get outside,” continued Jennifer. “They’ll take you to your terminal. For the cast, please board bus 1 which will take you to your terminal.”
“We bypass all the ticket stuff and security,” whispered Kelsie. “It’s a private jet. No layover, nothing. We’re heading directly to Los Angeles.”
“That’s nice,” I hummed.
“It is.”
“Also, to the cast,” said Jennifer, her voice booming in the lobby. “Remember, you’ll be heading directly to the soundstage at Regal Studios and going posthaste to hair and makeup. You’ve got a long day today, the call sheet says you’re shooting until midnight.”
“Ugh,” Kelsie groaned in secret to me. “I’m sorry I’ll be gone so long.”
“I can’t believe you’ll be working that late,” I said.
“That’s the way she goes,” said Kelsie, acquiescing with a grin.
“I bet you’ll be crying yourself to sleep tonight on your silky golden pillow,” I teased.
Kelsie smiled devilishly and pinched my side. I squeaked out and batted at her hand, causing a couple people to look at us.
“Shh!” said Kelsie, putting a finger to her lips, barely covering her smile.
“So if there are no questions,” continued Jennifer. “Let’s get moving. Thank you Hotel Champlain for being our home base for these past six weeks.” As Jennifer said this, a handful of people in the group rumbled a half-hearted ‘thank you.’ But when she said these words, I felt a pang inside me. I, too, thanked the Hotel Champlain. It had been my home for years.
Jennifer waved once dramatically, motioning everybody to follow her out of the front door and the exit commenced. I looked behind me and saw Meredith, sitting behind my old desk, waving at us as the group began filtering out. Jake was there too, the smile on his face looking somewhat pained. I knew this had been a big deal for him, and a nice chunk of money, a sum of money that he probably wouldn’t see again too soon. If at all. I felt for him, really I did, I loved him for how he treated me. You don’t often get bosses like that. But he understood. He understood that I had to go. Champlain just wasn’t where I belonged anymore. I hadn’t belonged here for a very long time.
I felt in some way I was abandoning everything, my family, much like my mother had done. I couldn’t help but feel like that, even if it wasn’t the same thing. And it wasn’t. My state of fear, of feeling stuck, of being marooned in Champlain, it was a product of my mother’s leaving. And I had finally been able to wiggle myself free from the reeds.
When I was younger, 16 or so, I walked up to my favorite beach on Lake Michigan, that very same beach I had taken Kelsie to, and I came upon a shipwrecked sailboat. It was so out of the ordinary to see that, to see that beached boat, helpless, lifeless, laying about in ruin. I couldn’t help but wonder what had happened to it. Was the person, or people, sailing it… dead? Where they inside? How long had it floated capsized on the Lake until it washed up on this shore?
I was that sailboat. Uncertain, mired, near wrecked. And just as that boat’s owners, very much alive and well, swooped in eventually, righted the hull, hoisted the sails, and returned the schooner to its former glory, so had Kelsie to me. I was ready to explore. Not just Los Angeles, not just life, but me… I was ready to hoist my own sails and find out who I truly was.
“Hey,” said Kelsie, taking my hand. “Let’s go.”
I walked with Kelsie, hand in hand, outside the lobby doors of the Hotel Champlain for the last time. The bright, early sun gleamed down, instilling upon us a wonderful late summer warmth, the kind of late summer warmth you can only feel here on the west coast of Michigan. The nostalgia was palpable to me. I would miss it. But I knew I would be back. I couldn’t stray too far from Lake Michigan. It held a special place in my heart. And when I came back to it, I knew that I would be a changed woman, the kind of woman that Lake Michigan wanted me to be. Just as it was impossible to tame something as ephemeral as Mishigami, the Greatest of the Great Lakes, so too would it be impossible to tame me.
I finally felt free. Everything was opening up. I squeezed Kelsie’s hand as we boarded the bus, she ascending the steps in front of me, and I felt entirely different in that very moment from anything I’d ever experienced before. Like I wasn’t even Audra Durand. I was just watching Audra Durand. I was watching her act out the movie that was her life.
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There is more to read in this book!
Keep reading past Nico’s catalog list
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Freestyle Flirting
A Lesbian Romance
Marie Mullally, competitive swimmer, has had it tough. Just a few short years back family tragedy kept her from her dreams of competing in the Olympic Games. But 4 years later she’s more driven than ever, focused on her training, and ready to bring home the Gold in the Summer Olympics. That singular focus, keeping her eyes on the prize, has proven to be great for her athletic goals… but not so much for her love life.
These goals get challenged once Marie meets her new coach, Dasha Belenko. Dasha is beautiful, fit, inspiring, a former Olympic Medal winner herself and the kind of coach any swimmer could easily swoon over. Marie and Dasha soon find themselves entangled in a joyful secretive affair, excited for the possibility of love. But jealousy on the team mixed with the impropriety of a coach/swimmer relationship cause for some conflict that could once again keep Marie from her Gold Medal ambitions.
Will Marie be able to navigate unfounded jealousy, regain focus on her swimming, and hoist the Gold Medal? Or will this high level competition on the world’s stage leave Marie dead in the water? With tragedy behind her, the spirit of a champion, and love in her heart, Marie is prepared to do what it takes to win in the pool… but at what cost?
See Freestyle Flirting On Amazon
Chef Cutegirl
A Lesbian Romance
Emily Gold, head chef for one of Chicago’s most acclaimed French restaurants, is about to have her life turned upside down. She’s been picked to compete on the hit reality TV show Hot Chef! Everything has been falling into place for Emily in regards to her career as a budding culinary mastermind. But when you dedicate as much of your life to your work as Emily has, some things are bound to slip away from you… like your love life.
All of that is about to change for Emily, however, when she’s introduced to one of her fellow competitors. Raina appears to be introverted and sweet on the outside, but inside of her burns a flame of culinary talent that instantly draws Emily in. The two become fast friends and as the heat in the kitchen grows, so does the heat in their relationship. But reality TV is never drama free, as both Emily and Raina soon discover.
Will the desire Emily feels for her beautiful competitor overcome her desire to win Hot Chef? Or will this behind the scenes romance come out of the oven undercooked? Emily is determined to have it all, a great career and a partner to share it with, but the realities of unscripted television might just be writing a different script for this driven young chef.
See Chef Cutegirl On Amazon
Sweetheart Starlet
A Lesbian Romance
Tabitha Bloom has a pretty frenetic life. As head writer for the venerated live sketch comedy show This Saturday, her job is to make people laugh. But she’s spent so much of her time with her head down, her life buried in work, that she hasn’t stopped for a moment to see how far she’s come and what she’s achieved. No time for self-reflection when you have a live show to put together. And, of course, no time for a relationship either.
But when Corinne Holmstrom guest hosts the show, Tab can’t help but be starstruck over the mega celebrity actress. Who could blame her? Corinne is beautiful, famous, successful and… is she coming on to Tab? There’s no way that Corinne is a lesbian, she always dates the hunkiest Hollywood actors. Best to just forget about her. Move on. Get back to work. Still, there’s something about Corinne that Tab can’t shake and this sweetheart starlet is too special to ignore.
Will Tab find the romance she’s been seeking in this young Hollywood actress? Or will the pressures that fame has put on Corinne cause this romantic comedy to bomb? With the public watching your every move, it’s no wonder Hollywood’s elite are so secretive… something Tab is about to learn first hand.
See Sweetheart Starlet On Amazon
Salacious Stand Up
A Lesbian Romance
Despite tragedy in her past, Macy Maxwell has been able to keep a smile on her face and a joke in her heart. In fact, her heart is full of jokes, most of them disgustingly off-color, as she navigates life in Chicago’s stand up comedy world. She’s built a great character for herself on stage, falling into the role of raunchy sex comic talking about all the guys she’s dated… there’s just one small problem: Macy’s a lesbian!
Things aren’t much easier off stage either. Macy has an admitted attraction to bad girls, the kind of chicks she knows are no good for her. And George, the super sexy hipster butch writer, is no exception. But on the other side of the coin is Macy’s best friend and stand up partner Petra, ever the good girl, kinda mopey, though certainly Macy’s biggest fan. George is undeniably hot and mysterious but Petra actually gives a damn about her friend. Choices, choices…
Will Macy finally be true to herself on stage as her career begins to take off? Can she stop repeating the same mistakes, always expecting different results, and still find the love she needs to continue on to success? Who will win her heart in this romantic comedy, the good girl or the bad girl? Life can be funny… and Macy is about to find out just how absurd it can get.
See Salacious Stand Up On Amazon
Dormitory Dearest
A Lesbian Romance
Having just started her freshman year at college, Natasha Blake has a lot of issues to deal with. She’s a bit of a geek, an outcast, a ball of nerves. Oh, and she’s got this feeling mounting deep inside of her — a feeling that’s been there for a lot longer than she might let on — that maybe, just maybe, she prefers girls over boys. Okay, no maybes about it… but that still doesn’t make it easy to accept who she is, having come from a somewhat conservative Irish Catholic family life. Why did it have to be so hard?
Enter Hosannah. Bright, funny, really pretty, a junior living in Natasha’s dorm. Hosannah was like a liberated version of Natasha, a girl who knew who she was and what she wanted. But having been burned in the past, Hosannah had no time for girls who couldn’t admit their personal truths. Natasha knew that Hosannah could help her come out of her shell, but would she be able to take the first step alone?
Can this college romance blossom into a wonderful coming out for Natasha? Or will Hosannah’s patience for her uncertainty run thin? Coming-of-age indecision peppered with a dash of anxiety can really throw a girl for a loop. Lucky for Natasha the answer lives just two floors up.
See Dormitory Dearest On Amazon
An Excerpt From: Freestyle Flirting
A Lesbian Romance
I had a perfect kick off the blocks and I was flying. Just cutting through the water with minimal drag, almost as though I were being pulled by some otherworldly force. When you’re this driven, this pumped up, this focused on meeting your goal, it’s hard not to immediately enter that wonderful state of flow. You’re doing exactly what your body should be doing and it rewards you for it. For me, that’s competitive swimming. It gave me purpose in a sometimes purposeless seeming world. It gave me solace when life handed down misfortune and difficulty. My veins ran with water. I felt more like myself when I was in the pool than when I was walking on terra firma.
All I could hear were those muffled underwater acous
tics, all I could see was the rippled refraction in front of me. One arm up, one arm guiding my body along, then the switch, my legs seamlessly kicking up and down as I coursed through that clear water. It was a meditation of sorts for me. I could shut my brain off, I could forget all the negativity in my life, and I could just become the liquid. Although outside of the pool I knew the audience was cheering and all the other competitors were together echoing a cacophony of splashes, here underwater there was a certain quietude that inspired intense focus and a righted spirit within me. This was my happy place.
My name is Marie Mullally and I’m a swimmer. It’s what I do best. It’s what I’ve done for the majority of my 25 years on this planet and I hope that it can be a part of my life forever. It’s my passion and it’s my calling. And as you watch me break through the water of this 50 meter long pool, in the lead yet still conglomerated with a pack of other young female swimmers much like myself, you must know how important this race is. This is the 400 meter freestyle, my event, and the top qualifiers of this race join Team USA for this year’s Summer Olympics in Rio. So, you know, it’s a pretty big deal.
As I reached one end of the pool, I dropped my head down and flipped, pressing my feet firmly against the wall and giving myself a fierce push, allowing me to jet through the water like a dolphin, kicking my legs in unison. After that turn, I could tell I was in the lead from a quick glance out of the corners of my goggles. I always had quick turns, but I would sometimes slow as I returned to my stroke. Amber, the girl in the lane next to me and my chief competition, had slower turns but when she returned to form her stroke was monstrous and I knew it wouldn’t be long before she caught up with me.
Hotel Hollywood: A Lesbian Romance Page 15
