His face crinkled as he stared at her. Connor dropped his head on the steering wheel, banging his forehead a couple of times before he finally looked back at her. She forced herself to stay rooted in that spot. Everything in her wanted to run after him, beg him for forgiveness.
His gaze slid past Julia, causing her to look over her shoulder toward the house. Framed in one large living room window, the guys laughed their asses off. Kenzie and Lara stood on the front porch, looking concerned and crushed. She turned back to Connor who was shooting the finger at his buddies.
Slowly, with lots of reluctance, Connor cut the engine and got out of the truck. When he slammed the door and started toward her, she wiped at the tears and took a step toward him. They came to a stop less than a foot apart.
“I don’t like you crying.”
She gave a small sob as she tried to smile. Next, she managed a hiccup with a huge sniffle. Connor stepped closer.
“It took me a second to realize it didn’t really change anything. I knew you were successful because of him.” He absently pointed in Bruno’s general direction where he still stood a few feet away on the other side of the truck. “But I didn’t get you were Ty-level successful. I should have.”
She nodded and lowered her head, moving her hands under her eyes and then her nose.
“I’m more successful than Ty,” she finally said, lifting her head enough to give him a crooked grin amidst all the tears that wouldn’t stop falling. Her emotions were all over the place. The relief of him being reasonable was almost as staggering as the thought of him leaving her. “I’m sorry—too early for a joke. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to lie to you, Connor. I talked myself into believing you truly wouldn’t care.”
The tears welled again then poured down her face as he wrapped an arm around her to draw her to his chest. His hand encased the back of her head, pushing it toward his shoulder.
“Don’t cry.”
She fisted her hands in his shirt as minutes passed before Connor spoke again.
“You complicated my life even more.”
“I know. I’m sorry.” Julia lifted her head, threading her fingers behind his neck. “But Connor, I can help. You can come stay with me. I’ve got enough resources to give you the…”
He placed his hand on her mouth, silencing her. “No. Shh. That’s what complicated things. I live by what I make.”
She nodded, her face turning solemn as she looked down at his shirt and lifted a hand to wipe again under her nose. “You’re sexist. I didn’t think you were.”
He lifted her chin, giving her a small smile while he used a thumb to wipe away the tears on her cheeks. “I see what you’re doing.”
“Is it working?” she asked on a hiccup.
“I don’t know. Do you wanna go back in or go home?” He lifted his chin in the direction of the house. “We have a full crowd watching us now.”
She looked over to see all fortyish people standing on the front porch.
“I don’t wanna mess up your time with your friends.”
His hand went to her neck, gently pulling her head up.
“Do you want to go or stay?”
Her tears were drying, but she had a look a mess and desperately needed to blow her nose.
“We can stay. I need to clean up,” she said and loosened her grip on his shirt. It was very much a death grip designed to make sure he stayed right there with her.
He didn’t move or change the caring expression on his face. “I’m sorry I freaked out.”
“I’m sorry, too. Bruno told me I needed to tell you. I should have. I just really liked the organic way we did everything. Then I convinced myself it didn’t matter. You wouldn’t really care,” she said, frantically wiping at her tears. When Connor started to move, her hand tightened on his shirt as she panicked that he planned to leave again. Connor reached down to clasp her hand in his, moving her along with him.
“I have tissues in the truck.”
When she stood in the privacy of his opened truck door and unfastened the small packet he had, the relief of Connor forgiving her so easily had tears welling again. She blew her nose, an ugly little sound, even with Connor right there caging her in between the door and the seat. As she dabbed at her eyes, wondering if the mascara she’d chosen was waterproof, Connor’s hand appeared in front of her, holding a new water bottle.
“I remember you now. You’re wrong. I didn’t ignore you that night.”
“Yes, you did,” she said, breaking the seal on the bottle. She unscrewed the top and took a drink.
“No, I didn’t. You’re just way out of my league. There was no point in dwelling,” he said, and the words made her choke on the water. With her mouth full, she immediately lowered her head, pushing Connor back a step to keep from getting him wet if she couldn’t get the water down.
Once she composed herself, she cast an astonished gaze his way. “Oh my God, Connor. You were the sexiest man there. No one holds a candle to you, because you’re gorgeous and have integrity. Are you kidding me?”
All Connor did was chuckle and shake his head. She had a feeling that this definitely fit in a situation of him laughing at her, not with her.
“Everything okay?” Bruno asked a few feet away.
“Yeah,” Connor said.
“Jules?” Bruno’s voice was softer, and she knew he wouldn’t move until she replied.
“He found out what…”
“Don’t need to know,” Bruno replied gruffly, stopping her from speaking as he moved away from the truck, heading back to his rental. “I’ll take that as confirmation.”
“Let me get my purse. I need to go to the bathroom,” she said.
Connor leaned around her to reach in, grabbed the bag, and hand it over. When she slung the strap over her shoulder, he lifted her chin to place a soft lingering kiss on her lips. When they broke apart, she spotted what she thought might be a hint of insecurity in his eyes.
“Don’t look like that. Nothing’s changed. We’re who we were thirty minutes ago. I love you. Nothing’s changed,” Julia said.
Connor wrapped his arm around her waist as they started back toward the house. She mimicked the action, walking with her hip pressed against his. Kenzie and Lara were the only ones left on the porch waiting for them to return.
“Are you okay?” Kenzie asked when Julia began climbing the steps.
“I think so. I need to clean up.” Only then did Connor let her go, going around the three of them. Kenzie stopped him before he got too far away. No words were said, but she lifted on her tiptoes, giving him a tight hug. Julia watched closely; she worried about his mindset with the new information. Her life was a lot to handle, and Connor would know that firsthand because of his friendship with Ty. Her guy seemed to appreciate the support Kenzie showed. Lara gave him a tight hug, too, before he went for the front door, pushing it open for them.
“Come with me. I made everyone stay back. Actually, Lara did. She’s vicious with that baby bump,” Kenzie said, smiling over at her very pregnant friend.
“Thank you,” Julia said, giving Lara a side hug. This was what she’d missed in life and needed so badly. She wanted nothing to jeopardize the friendships and relationships she’d managed to build. She’d gotten too close to losing Connor. She never wanted to experience that again. “I like your shoes.”
“Thank you. I rarely get to wear them anymore,” Lara said, looking down at a pretty pair of Jimmy Choos. “Come on. We’ve got a bathroom in our bedroom. It’ll give you some privacy.”
“Thank you.” Julia followed her inside, and Connor stood in the entryway. As she passed him, she reached out a hand to squeeze his arm before immediately turning to the left, away from all the prying eyes who stood waiting for them in the living room.
Once inside the bedroom, Kenzie shut the door behind them, and Lara came right up to her. All the concern faded as she got an excited gleam in her eye.
“Now, spill it, sister. We want the play by play from th
e minute you met Connor until right before you arrived today,” Kenzie said excitedly.
“We heard the rest from there,” Lara added, taking a seat on the bed, getting comfortable. They were only missing the popcorn.
Julia grinned, reaching for some tissues on the dresser, before taking a seat in a side chair as Kenzie and Lara looked expectantly in her direction, the excitement clear on their faces. They eased her heart. She missed having girlfriends. Taking a deep breath, she started at the beginning.
“There’s a club called Cache…”
Chapter 12
Hours after the baby shower, or better known to Connor as the three hours it took to fully process Julie’s big coming out, he sat on a barstool, at a high-top table, taking a long drink of the straight Jack Daniel’s he’d ordered. His eyes moved to Julie’s profile about every twenty seconds, but he couldn’t help it. He was so in love, so insecure about that, and so caveman in his instincts toward her that he constantly had to talk himself down from ripping off his shirt, pounding his chest right in her face, then dragging her out of there by the hair just to make sure she understood exactly where she belonged.
Shit. Damn. Fuck.
What the hell was wrong with him? He’d never had all these primal urges, but he’d also never been in love before… With the 2015 Hot 100, top of the list female… Per Maxim. Fuck his life.
Reed, Cole, and Ty took the three other seats surrounding their table with Julie, Lara, and Kenzie at another small table right beside them. They were at Cole’s new favorite restaurant but having arrived a good thirty minutes early for their reservation, the restaurant wasn’t quite ready to seat them. Since then, both Ty and Julie had posed for dozens of pictures, signed just as many autographs, and put the place in a full tizzy, which had made their wait that much longer.
“I’m not sure it’s a good thing that they’ve all become friends,” Ty said, cocking his head toward the three women at the other table.
“As long as whatever they’re discussing doesn’t involve me, I don’t care at all,” Reed added, lifting his cocktail glass for a long drink of scotch.
“It always involves you,” Cole teased, knocking him in the arm.
Connor watched as Cole fell back into his natural personality, not the guy who’d sat stiff-necked at his regular booth not twenty feet away. Much like the first time he’d been there, Cole tracked Sada through the restaurant every time she stepped into the dining room. More interesting, no one else picked up on Cole’s fascination with her.
“I’m gonna bite, Con. What’s the deal with you two?” Ty asked, cocking his head toward the women’s table. All sets of eyes turned his way, apparently eager for an answer. Connor just stared at Ty and held back a groan. He was already insecure as hell about everything that had happened today and that question was too loaded. “Is she the reason you’re leaving the military?”
He hadn’t even considered the military, but that question, even as it gave him an extra bout of anxiety, seemed easier to answer than the first. His stress levels were off the chart and Connor took another, longer drink this time. “We started up the day you and I were supposed to go deep sea fishing.”
“How did you meet?” Reed asked. All these guys talked over each other all the time. Them silently watching him spoke volumes to their interest in him and Julie.
“Accident. I honestly didn’t know who she was,” he said, lifting his glass, draining the last little bit.
“No way,” Cole added in his normal humorous tone. Connor got the skepticism—it now seemed insane that he hadn’t figured it out before he had.
“Look, I’ve been kicking myself for the last few hours. I remember her now…and when you introduced us back then,” he said, pointing to Ty. “But I didn’t know her when we met at the bar. Hell, I’ve been in Syria for the majority of the last few years. Before that Iraq. None of that Hollywood stuff’s on my radar. If you don’t tell me, I don’t know about it.”
Connor had permitted himself two drinks tonight and this conversation had him needing his second. He lifted the glass in the air to get the waitress’s attention. She saw him, nodded, and he turned back to Ty.
“No offense on that. It’s just not my thing.”
“I know that. You didn’t even have to explain,” Ty said before he asked his next question. “So you’re leaving the military for her after a week?”
Ty and Reed stared at him intently, waiting for the answer, but Cole, already knowing the answer, slyly took a drink of his scotch.
“No, not at all,” Connor started. A lump formed in his throat. He swallowed it down and started to speak. The words were just too personal with these guys. It would be like telling his parents. He looked down at his hands. Thankfully, Cole stepped up and said it for him.
“He’s being forced out.”
“What?” Reed blurted, his brow furrowing as he sat up a little straighter. His indignation helped Connor release some of his tension and better find his words.
“I refused an order and it’s gone to shit from there,” Connor said, nodding to the waitress as she placed a napkin on the table, before adding his new glass of Jack on top and walking away.
“It caused an international incident. They labeled him PTSD,” Cole added.
“No way,” Ty responded.
“Yeah. That’s why I had to go to LA even when I didn’t hear from you. I had an appointment with a doctor there,” Connor said, lifting the glass to his lips.
“Can’t you fight it?” Reed asked.
“I have. It is what it is. If I stay, they’ll stick me on a desk, so I’ve decided to go. It’s time for my re-up so it works out,” Connor explained, his gaze focused on the dark liquid inside his glass. His fear compounded now that the woman that he loved earned millions of dollars a year. How could he keep up?
“What are you gonna do?” Ty asked.
Ah, the million-dollar question. He knitted his brow together, took a drink, and crunched on the ice before he finally answered.
“I’m not sure.”
“What’d your parents say?” Reed asked.
“They don’t know yet,” he said, looking over at Reed. “Nobody but this circle of people knows.”
“I’m sorry to hear this,” Ty added. He looked genuinely regretful and all that concern was focused on him.
“Me too,” Reed added.
They both held such a look of remorse. Connor glanced over at Cole who nodded the same sentiment. Silence held for several long moments under the weight of what had been said until Reed asked, “So what about her in all that mess?”
Okay, that was more the million-dollar question.
“I tried to get out of it right after I met her. She doesn’t do well at being told no. Then I tried to keep it casual. That changed this week,” Connor explained. His buddies’ questions were aiming straight for his heart. Since meeting Julie, she’d been his lifeline, then love and now everything he truly worried about.
“So you’re moving to LA?” Ty asked.
“I don’t really know. Honestly, I was thinking about checking out OverWatch. See what they had open. They’ve hinted they’d be interested if I ever left,” Connor said. He hadn’t told anyone that idea. Not even Julie. But OverWatch’s main headquarters were in North Carolina, on the opposite coast from her.
“OverWatch for personal security?” Reed asked and waited for Connor’s nod. He’d do whatever they wanted. “I could use you if you’re willing to do that.”
“Since I’m doing all this talking, I guess I could tell you that I’ve been thinking about pulling out my savings and starting a training program. I was reading about another guy who did that in New York state. It was successful for him. I think I could do it,” Connor explained.
“Train who?” Reed asked.
“Law enforcement, corporate security, maybe try contracting with the military. I was thinking of focusing on teaching de-escalation through reality-based training. I could go onsite, instead of sending s
taff to me. Techniques that are hands-on, real-time, that kind of thing. I guess personal security might benefit. I don’t know,” Connor explained. He finished off his Jack and began playing with the edge of the napkin. Starting his own business was outside of anything he understood. He’d have a lot to catch up on. He’d never spent much money, giving him a decent savings. He just didn’t really know about those things.
“So you wouldn’t necessarily compete with OverWatch?” Cole asked.
“On some level, I guess, but as a whole, no. I don’t know if it’s a good idea or not.” Connor had never considered life outside the military, and the entire idea left him feeling beat down. “Maybe I should look at applying at some police department or something like that.” He wasn’t sure he was in the right mindset to start something like his own company. His shoulders slumped and his head drooped. What the heck was he going to do?
“I’m more interested in that company you just described.” That unexpected statement drew Connor’s gaze to Reed. “We’d need to iron out the details, and you’d have to agree to let my team initiate the business plan and start-up—under your vision, of course, but I’d invest.”
“Me too,” Ty said immediately.
“Then I’d invest. I’m tired of being left out while everyone’s making money,” Cole added.
“I’m not taking your money,” Connor said, shaking his head at all of them. This was when things started to get dicey between them. His buddies were all more successful than he was. He couldn’t hang on any level with them financially, but he refused to be carried.
“Good, because I’m not giving it, but I’d invest. I think that’s the future of law enforcement. Everyone’s upping their game. Government’s got to bridge the gaps between law enforcement and society—trained de-escalation is critical. I’m in. I just want you to have the tools you need to get this thing started.” Reed clapped his hands, rubbing them together. “Con-man, you’re gonna make me some money,” Reed declared, throwing a fist across the table for a fist bump. “My own security needs a program like this.”
Mission Happy (A Texas Desires Novel Book 3) Page 22
