“They barely know me.”
“Something I wanted to remedy, but you shut me out.”
“I don’t do children, Garrett.”
“Damn it, Jennifer, I know you love me. I see it in your eyes even now. Do you hate children that much?”
A sob broke free from her lips.
“I don’t hate children. You’re boys are wonderful, but…” How did one explain that she’d failed as a mother, that she didn’t want to risk hurting another child?
“They’ve not had an easy go since Emma died. I want to fight to keep you in my life, but I have this overwhelming need to protect them too.”
“You think they need protection from me?” She reeled from his words. Words that sounded so reminiscent of something Jeff might have said. It’s your fault Carrie died. If you’d been a better mother. If you’d been home more often. If you’d not been so focused on medicine.
“No, that would be me.”
Jennifer blinked back tears. “You need protection from me?”
“Oh, yes, because my heart is exposed to whatever fate you place upon it.” Groaning in frustration, he pulled her to him. “I love you, Jennifer. I know I’m a package deal when you weren’t even in the market for a deal at all, but don’t shut me and the boys out of your life. Not without giving us a chance.”
She gulped. “A chance at what?”
“To see if what we have can last a lifetime.”
Emotion welled inside her, threatening to explode.
“Garrett, I can’t have children,” she blurted out. “You should know that before you say anything further.”
Disappointment shone on his face just as she’d known it would. Hadn’t Jeff told her she wasn’t even a real woman anymore?
“Your career means that much to you?”
“You don’t understand,” she clarified, deep-seated pain and insecurities bubbling to the surface. “I can’t physically have any more children.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
“I don’t care if you can’t have children, Jennifer. I love you,” Garrett assured.
Jennifer’s words sunk in. Any more. Bridget had never mentioned grandchildren.
“You have children?”
Her eyes closed. “I had a daughter.”
Again, her word choice struck him. “Had?”
“She died. When she was two.”
“Oh, honey.” Garrett wrapped his arms around her, hugging her close to him. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s my fault she died.”
“How did she die?”
“She drowned,” she whispered, shriveling against him as if she wanted to curl up into a tight ball.
Garrett couldn’t imagine what she was going through, couldn’t imagine the pain of losing a child, much less if her death had somehow been Jennifer’s fault.
Garrett held her, letting her cry.
Ethan burst into the kitchen, coming to a halt. “Daddy, what’s wrong with Jennifer?”
Jennifer swiped at her eyes, smiling weakly at his son when she’d semi-composed herself. “I’m fine. What’s up?”
“Ian wants to know if we can jump on Benji’s trampoline.”
“Who’s Benji?”
“My mother’s neighbor,” Jennifer answered. “The redheaded kid they’ve been playing with. He lives next door.”
Garrett considered his son’s pleading face. “Ian wants to know, huh?”
Ethan grinned. “Me too, Daddy. We’ll be super careful and only jump in the middle.”
“Fine.” Garrett grabbed Jennifer’s hand. “Come on. We’ll take the tea to your mom and watch the boys.”
They sat on Benji’s back porch steps, silently watching the three boys jump and giggle.
Garrett’s cellular phone buzzed. Sighing, he flipped it open. “Hello. Uh-huh. I’ll be there as quick as I can.”
He turned to Jennifer.
She smiled softly, not needing an explanation. “I understand.”
“Can I come back later tonight?”
“I—” she hesitated. “If you want to.”
He wanted to kiss her, but her mother and guests could see them. Instead, he told her with his eyes everything that was in his heart, hoping she’d understand.
“I want to,” he assured her, then called to the boys: “Come on, guys. We’ve got to go. Quick.”
The boys moaned, begging to stay.
“I’ve got to get to the hospital. STAT. Get your shoes on.”
Grumbling, the boys climbed off the trampoline.
Ian glanced toward Jennifer. “She can watch us.”
“Jennifer doesn’t want to watch two mischievous little boys. Get your shoes on.”
“It’s okay, Daddy. Mommy watches Jennifer’s girl in heaven and Jennifer watches us.” Ian lifted trusting eyes to Jennifer. “Isn’t that right?”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Jennifer didn’t know what to say. What could she say?
Garrett stared at her in confusion. The boys stared at her in expectation. Her heart pounded at the sheer terror at being made responsible for Garrett’s children.
But did Garrett trust her with his children? After all, she’d told him about Carrie.
As if he sensed her thoughts, Garrett took her hand. “I’ll let them stay, Jennifer, if that’s what you want, but you don’t have to say yes. They can go with me and wait in the doctor’s lounge. We have the routine down pat.”
“Please,” Ethan pleaded. “We’ll be good. We promise.”
No matter how much she wanted to say no, she didn’t have the heart to do it.
“They can stay.”
The boys cheered, high-fiving each other.
Garrett squeezed her hand. “You’re sure?”
Not really, but she nodded. “Hurry back.”
Leaning in, Garrett pecked her on the cheek. “Thank you. I’ll be as quick as I can. Call me if you need me.” He turned to the boys. “I expect your best behavior.”
“Yes sir,” they said in unison, grinning at each other.
Jennifer sat on the porch steps, watching as Ian, Ethan and Benji hopped around until they fell back in giggles to stare up at the sky.
“Will you jump with us, Jennifer?” Ian called.
The last thing Jennifer planned was to jump on the trampoline, but she climbed up and crawled over to where the boys laid.
“I’m not much of a jumper, Ian,” she told him.
“That’s okay. Sit there. We’ll jump and make you bounce.”
Nodding in agreement, the boys began to jump. Higher and higher. Keeping her legs crossed Indian-style, Jennifer bounced from the aftershocks.
The boys’ giggles lightened her heart and she soon found herself laughing along with them, feeling lighter than she had in years.
Until Ian landed at an odd angle, falling onto Jennifer. She grabbed hold, steadying him, but Benji and Ethan both lost balance at the change of bounce dynamics.
Benji fell forward, smacking into Jennifer’s shoulder, throwing her back. Ethan landed on Ian, mouth smashing into head.
Eyes round, Ethan sat up, blood covering his face.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Oh God.
What had she done? She’d known better than to watch Garrett’s children.
Reeling from the pain shooting through her shoulder, she did a quick assessment. Other than turning pale at the sight of blood, Benji seemed fine. Ian, however, took one look at his bloody twin and burst into tears.
Trying to be brave, Ethan patted his brother’s arm, his hand leaving crimson stains. “I’m okay,” he assured, blood sputtering from his nose and mouth.
“Ethan, sweetheart, let me check you.”
Definitely a bloody nose and busted lip. Any damage beyond that was obscured by blood.
“We need to get ice. Pinch your nose.”
Unconcerned about her shoes, Jennifer lifted Ethan off the trampoline and ran toward her mother’s kitchen. “Put your shoes on and follow me,” she cal
led to the other two boys.
“Good Lord, what happened?” her mother called from where she sat in a lawn chair next to her remaining guests.
“He bumped his head.”
Rushing the boy inside, she set him on the counter, grabbed a clean dishtowel and soaked it in cold water. “Here. Pinch your nose with this while I get an ice pack.”
Ethan covered his face with the cloth. Ian and Benji rushed into the kitchen. “Is he okay?”
Jennifer placed the ice inside a clean cloth, then took the bloodsoaked one from Ethan. “Hold this to your lip while I check your nose.”
Jennifer examined the boy’s nose. It wasn’t broken. Thank God. Still, blood poured from both nostrils. She pinched the nares together, hoping the pressure would stop the bleeding while she checked his lip.
Ethan’s upper lip was huge and split. His lower lip was swollen. But his bleeding upper gums concerned her most.
And the missing tooth.
“His tooth is gone!” Ian exclaimed from where he watched.
Wide-eyed, Ethan poked his tongue into the vacant spot. “Cool,” he said, his voice slurring.
Not cool, Jennifer thought, but was grateful Ethan wasn’t panicking. Unlike her.
She called Garrett to tell him what had happened. That she’d let his son get hurt.
“I’ll be right there,” he promised.
And he was—Garrett burst into the kitchen.
“Ethan lost a tooth, Daddy!” Ian exclaimed, wanting to be the first to tell his father, what he considered, the exciting news.
In the ten minutes it had taken Garrett to get there, Jennifer had packed Ethan’s nose and the bleeding had stopped. His lips had stopped as well thanks to the constant ice.
The little boy looked horrible. His face swollen, busted and bloody. His clothes blood-stained.
“I’m sorry.” The reality of everything that had happened hit Jennifer, overwhelmed her.
Knowing that Garrett was there to take care of his children, she ran from the kitchen, locking herself in her bedroom.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Garrett hated using the television as a babysitter, but he had to talk to Jennifer. Alone.
With her company gone, Bridget was ensconced in her lift chair and he left the boys watching cartoons.
“Jennifer?” He knocked on her door, but got no answer. Reaching above the door-facing, he retrieved the key Bridget had told him he’d find.
He opened the door, startled to see a swollen-faced Jennifer sitting on the bed, staring at photos.
“Jennifer?”
She didn’t look up. He sat beside her on the bed and stared at the pictures.
Clearly the child was Jennifer’s. Same dark eyes. Same dark hair.
“That’s Carrie?”
“My mother told you?”
“A few minutes ago.”
“I let her die.”
Garrett wrapped his arms around her. “That’s not what your mother said.”
“She wasn’t there. She doesn’t know.”
“You weren’t there, Jennifer.”
“I should have been. Jeff was right. I should have been with our daughter. If I’d been there, she wouldn’t have died.”
“Her death was an accident. Not because of your negligence, but because of your ex-husband’s. He was there, Jennifer, supposedly watching her while you were at work. If anyone is to blame, it’s him.”
“I wasn’t a fit parent. I’d suffered postpartum depression after she was born and…” Fresh tears ran down her cheeks. “I didn’t treasure her every day like I should have.”
He hated her pain, wished he could take it away, but hated the jerk who’d planted these doubts in her mind even more.
“Look at this photo.” He picked up a picture of a smiling Jennifer with her arms wrapped around the laughing little girl. “Your love is obvious.”
“Don’t you see? Love wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough to save Carrie. It isn’t enough to justify putting your boys in my care. I’m not mother material.”
“There’s no one else I’d trust more with my children,” he said softly, knowing his words were true. “There’s no one else I’d share them with, Jennifer. Just you.”
“You can say that after what I did?”
He stared at her, wondering what her nut job of an ex-husband had said to her. Bridget had told him Jeff blamed Jennifer and, in her grief, Jennifer had accepted that blame and never forgiven herself.
“After what you did? Jennifer, you took charge, packed Ethan’s nose to stop the bleeding and kept ice on his lips and gums. What more could anyone have done?”
She looked at him in confusion. “I shouldn’t have let him get hurt. Jeff told me I shouldn’t ever be left alone with kids. He was right. Look what happens.”
“You can’t predict the future. Nor can you stop kids from being kids. No matter how closely we watch our children, accidents happen.”
“Ethan is hurt because of me.” She winced, almost as if in fear of being hit. “Aren’t you mad?”
If he ever had the displeasure of meeting her ex, he’d slug the bastard.
“Mad?” He stroked her cheek. “You deserve a medal for getting his bleeding to stop so quickly.”
She burst into fresh tears. Garrett held her, letting her sob against his chest, not knowing how to ease the pain inside her, knowing her ex had a lot to answer for.
Garrett caressed her hair, kissed her and told her how much he loved her, how much he trusted her with his children, with his heart.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Jennifer sat up, collecting her emotions and hating that she’d slobbered all over Garrett. He must think her such a fool.
“Carrie’s death is what split you and Jeff?” he asked, softly.
“For a long time, I thought so.” She’d blamed herself for the demise of her marriage. “If our marriage had been what it should have been, if we’d loved each other, Carrie’s death wouldn’t have driven us apart.”
“What happened after she died?”
“He told me it was my fault she’d died, that I was too busy being a doctor to take care of my own child and husband. He got another woman pregnant and divorced me to marry her.”
Her pain was palpable, filling the room and his heart.
“He was a jerk. Do you hear me? Your ex was a fool.” Just like Garrett had been a fool in many ways. “I had this idea of what the perfect woman for me was going to be like. I was looking for a cross between Martha Stewart and Mary Poppins.”
“I can’t cook and never could say that Supercalifracha word.”
“There’s always take-out,” he said, grinning. “There are two little boys downstairs who need a mother.”
“Is that why you’re here? Because your boys need a mother? I failed my own daughter, Garrett. You don’t want me mothering your children.”
“No, the boys aren’t why I’m with you.” He laced his fingers with hers. “I’m with you because I need you, Jennifer. I can’t imagine my life without you in it.”
Jennifer stared at him in disbelief. When his gaze didn’t waver, her mouth dropped. “You’re serious.”
“I love you, Jennifer. I want you to be in my life and in the boys’ life. Always.” Garrett knelt on the floor, took her hand in his. “What I want is to marry you and spend every day of my life loving you.”
“You’re sure?”
“I’m sure.” Her career was important to her. He understood that. “If moving back to Huntsville isn’t an option, I’ll relocate.”
“You’d do that?”
He shrugged. “The boys would miss their grandmother, but they’d like living near the beach. We’d make it work.”
“But—”
“But nothing. I want to be with you. I’ll do whatever it takes for that to happen.”
“You love me that much?”
“I do.”
“Me, too.” A smile spread across Jennifer’s face. “Garrett, you’re sure you’
re not doing this just to give the boys a mother?”
“I’m positive. For a short while I told myself I shouldn’t be doing this because the boys deserved a mother who wasn’t so dedicated to a career. Now I know that what they deserve is parents who love each other and them as well.”
“They’ve been through so much,” she mused. “With losing their mother.” Ian’s words from earlier in the day hit her. “Did you cheat on your wife?”
“I never cheated on Emma, although she considered medicine my mistress.” He sighed. “We married because she was pregnant. I thought we could make it work. I was wrong. She never forgave me for loving medicine more than her, but I don’t regret the choices we made because God gave us two beautiful sons.”
Jennifer digested what he said, knew he was telling her the truth. “We’d have to take things slow, Garrett. Give the boys time to get to know me, to make sure our being together is what’s right for them.”
“I’m not sure how slow I can go when you’re involved. I want to wake up next you, to sleep holding you.”
“My mother would be ecstatic if I moved back to Huntsville.”
“She would.” He waited, giving her the opportunity to expound.
“The boys shouldn’t be uprooted. They’ve had enough changes. Leaving their grandmother and their home shouldn’t be thrown in.”
Garrett smiled. Already Jennifer was putting the boys before her own life. Like a mother did. Did she even realize that’s what she was doing?
Jennifer’s gaze met his. “I love you, Garrett. With all my heart. If you still want to marry me after we’ve given the boys time, my answer is yes.”
“Yes, you’ll be my wife?”
She closed her eyes. “I won’t be able to give you more children.”
Garrett cupped her cheek. “Jennifer, even if we didn’t have the boys, I’d still want to spend my life with you. Never doubt that.”
Staring into his eyes, seeing the love shining there, Jennifer’s heart blossomed. Garrett loved her. Deep down real last a lifetime loved her.
Table of Contents
Cover
Medical Single Plus Bonus Novella / Doctor Daddy / Single Doctor, Single Dad! Page 21
