A Life Worth Living

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A Life Worth Living Page 7

by Irene Brand


  Allen noticed that Dora had become quieter, but he couldn’t interpret the expression on her face as they spent the next two hours visiting parts of New York she probably hadn’t seen before. Perhaps it was time he came to New York so she would realize how common people lived.

  During the time he’d known her in North Carolina, Dora had given some strong indications that she con-sidered him more than a friend. She had hinted that she would like to make him a partner in the business, but when he ignored the hint, she hadn’t persisted. He’d thought at first that she might have some interest in George Vanderbilt, but she’d only been to Biltmore a few times and that was always when he’d invited a group of people. And although he admitted that he wasn’t any authority on the working of a woman’s mind, there were times when he thought that her hand on his shoulder seemed more of a caress than a gentle touch.

  Although he believed he hadn’t harbored any hope that they could become a couple, he knew that he’d had his dreams, too. Dreams that, he now understood, could never come to fruition. He was sorry that he’d come to New York City, for the trip had only emphasized what he’d known all along. There was no future for him and Dora.

  When they returned to her apartment, she said, “I’d like to take you to a Broadway play tonight, if you’ll agree to go.”

  Allen couldn’t think of anything he wanted to do less, but remembering that Dora entered without criticism into the slight entertainment around Fairfield, he agreed to go. To his surprise, he was captivated by the performance. Before they left her apartment, Dora had spent an hour telling him the story of the show they would see. He found it quite difficult to interpret the British pronunciation, but in spite of that, it was easy for him to follow the actors’ performance, which followed the summary he’d read in advance.

  An Ideal Husband opens during a dinner party at the home of Sir Robert Chiltern in London, a respected member of the House of Commons. Sir Robert is being blackmailed by Mrs. Cheveley, who has been an enemy of Sir Robert’s wife, Mabel, since their school days.Much of the conflict revolves around the stocks Sir Robert had bought in the construction of the Suez Canal before the British government announced its purchase. With this information Mrs. Cheveley attempts to blackmail Sir Robert to support a fraudulent scheme to build a canal in Argentina.

  Lady Chiltern isn’t aware of her husband’s problems. Their marriage had been predicated on her having an “ideal husband.” She isn’t aware that Sir Robert had gathered his fortune through illicit means.Lord Goring urges Sir Robert to fight Mrs. Cheveley and reveal his guilt to his wife.

  With many twists and turns the drama finally ended, leaving Allen confused and wondering why anyone would enjoy living in a city like this. He had at first refused to come to the theater with her, protesting that his new garments might be suitable for North Carolina but not New York. She said it wouldn’t matter, but Allen was miserable knowing that he stuck out like a sore thumb with a brown tweed suit when the other men were dressed in black tuxedos and white shirts. He wouldn’t have known the difference if she’d just taken him to a small theater, but he could tell when he entered that she’d taken him to one of the fanciest theaters in New York. When he not only looked like but thought like a country bumpkin, he asked Dora if he could sneak out a back door.

  “Absolutely not,” she said. He grew even more surprised when Dora introduced him to dozens of her acquaintances as her friend from North Carolina. He’d believed that he couldn’t possibly think of Dora more highly than he already did, but if she was ashamed of his appearance, he couldn’t tell it. She didn’t treat him any differently in Haymarket Theater than she did when they walked the streets of Fairfield.

  ❧

  Allen’s train didn’t leave until noon the next day, so he and Dora enjoyed a leisurely breakfast and took a walk in Central Park before he left. While they walked, Dora took his hand. He squeezed it gently as they walked down the tree-lined paths, and Allen enjoyed the beauty of the area. When they walked through slightly wooded areas, he was reminded of some of the forest areas near Fairfield, especially the area where he’d met Dora. How much his life had changed since then! He had never doubted that he would live out his days on earth as a bachelor. After all, he’d lived unmarried more than thirty years, and it never entered his mind that he’d meet somebody like Dora and it would be “love at first sight.” Although he would never ask her to marry him, he was convinced that he did love her.

  “I wish you didn’t have to leave so soon,” Dora com-plained as they approached her apartment. “When will I see you again?”

  He raised his eyebrows. “That’s up to you. I can’t afford a trip to New York City very often. If you want to see me, you know where to find me.”

  Maude served sandwiches and hot tea to them when they returned to the apartment. Allen complimented her on the pastries, and she seemed pleased. It was obvious that she approved of him.

  “But you will let me know if you think I need to come to Fairfield?” Dora insisted.

  He frowned. “I came all the way to New York to notify you that an absentee owner is not a good idea, especially in this case. I’ve told you several times that you need to oversee the textile mill yourself—not pay someone else to do it. Unless I’m called to do some carpentry work, I don’t have any reason to be in the textile mill, so it isn’t likely I’ll know what Morgan is doing. I’m not going to be your spy. Since my brother has come to live with me, I’m staying on the farm every night—not stopping over at Aunt Sallie’s Boardinghouse sometimes when I’m working beyond Fairfield. I’ve warned you what is happening, and that’s all I can do. I can’t make decisions for you.”

  Pulling his watch from his pocket, Allen said, “I have to leave.”

  “I wish you would stay another day or two, but if I can’t convince you, I’ll go to the station with you. That will give us a little more time. It’s hard to tell when we’ll be together again.” They put on their coats, but at the door Dora tugged on his sleeve. Tears came into her eyes, and she leaned against him. Was this an act to get him to stay a few more days, or would she really miss him? He’d enjoyed this short visit with her so much that he knew how lonely he’d be when he returned to Asheville. If he ever doubted that he loved Dora, this visit had made him realize that love had come to him at last. Why did he have to fall in love with a woman he couldn’t have? There were too many differences in their backgrounds and way of life for him to ever entertain a closer relationship. His mind was telling him that, but his heart had another message.

  He dropped the suitcase to the floor and pulled her toward him. With a surprised glance, she snuggled into his arms and placed her head on his shoulder. He felt her rapid heartbeat, and if he’d ever doubted that she really did care for him, he would never doubt it again.

  Frustrated at the futility of their relationship, Allen held Dora close for a short time. When she lifted her tear-stained face, he lowered his lips to hers. There was no way he could ever have her, so why couldn’t he stop involving himself in her business? Would it be possible for him to return to North Carolina and ever be content again? Before Dora came to Asheville, he’d been happy with his lifestyle, having no other thought except to live in happy bachelorhood. Now the prospect of living out his life as a single man left him feeling empty and distressed. A long future of dissatisfaction loomed before him.

  When he released her, she said, “I don’t know which is the hardest—not seeing you at all or to have you to myself for two whole days then having to say good-bye again. Do you know that I sometimes wish I’d never come to Fairfield in the first place?”

  He smiled slightly. “I know what you mean. Both of us might have been happier if we’d never seen each other.”

  They were mostly silent as they walked toward the station.

  “Will you write?” she asked after he’d checked the train schedule and found he had a half hour to wait.

&n
bsp; “Write about what? The textile mill?”

  “About anything you want to. I’ll be interested in everything you do—how your farming venture turns out and if your brother stays with you or starts wandering again.”

  “I hope he stays. He seems to like the farm, and he is a big help to me. Besides, I think he’s sweet on Kitty.”

  “You mean the child who has the twisted leg.”

  “That’s the one, but she really isn’t a child. She’s small for her age, but she’s sixteen, an age when many of our girls get married.”

  “I’d like to help her. Father has a doctor friend who’s a bone surgeon, and I feel sure he could mend her leg if she lived closer.”

  “The family wouldn’t have the money to pay a surgeon even if he came to North Carolina.”

  “Oh, he does lots of charity work. If not, I’d pay for the surgery. It wouldn’t cost her family anything.”

  “The local people like to consider themselves inde-pendent, and they’re touchy about accepting handouts.”

  “Nevertheless, I’ll give it some thought. I could ask the doctor to charge them a small amount to avoid any embarrassment.”

  Dora was silent the rest of their walk, and her face took on an expression that reminded him very much of her father. Allen knew that she was considering options, and she’d probably come up with some solution.

  They sat on a bench in the corner to wait for the southbound train to arrive. Since they’d said their good-byes at the apartment, Allen prepared to leave when the train rumbled into the station. There didn’t seem anything else to do or say. Dora’s eyes glistened with unshed tears, and he squeezed the hand she held out to him and bent over for one last kiss. Dora knew her father would have a fit if he ever heard she’d been kissed in the nonprivacy of a large train station, but at that moment, she didn’t care if President Cleveland himself witnessed the kiss. She sniffed and tried to stop crying as Allen boarded the train, but she stood close to the train and waited until he found a seat in a forward car and waved to her. She stood watching until the train left the station, her face covered in tears. If he lived to be a hundred years old, Allen knew he’d never forget this moment. There was no doubt that she really did love him. Was he foolish to reject the love she was so eager to share with him?

  eight

  Dora watched for the mail every day, not expecting Allen to write but hoping that he would. She was determined not to be the first one to make contact, but after a few months she missed him so much that she decided to do something about it. She bought a thinking-of-you card. It was a rural setting, which reminded her of North Carolina. The ground was covered with snow, and a red barn was featured in the background. The message read, “To wish you health and happiness.” As Dora prepared the card to mail it, she wondered if she was making a mistake. She almost wished that she could change the word health to wealth, for she was convinced that her wealth and his lack of it was what kept Allen from seeking a closer relationship with her. She wrote a note on the card wishing him well for the coming year.

  To her surprise, he answered her note. He misspelled a few words, which made her wonder if his lack of education as well as his few worldly possessions kept him from declaring his love for her. Frustrated because of the seeming impossibility of any serious relationship between them, Dora slept with the letter under her pillow for a week. When she received the annual report of the financial status of the Fairfield Textile Mill, she was amazed to find that instead of making a profit, the mill had actually lost money. She also noted the annual bonus gift to the workers had not been paid. Why hadn’t she listened to Allen?

  She knew that her father would hear about it because, until she proved that she could operate the mill, he was to receive copies of the same financial reports she did. Two days later he stormed into the apartment, waving the mill report. It was a stormy session, which ended when he said, “Missy, you have another six months to put the business on a paying status, or I’m taking control.”

  Six months ago she would have shouted at him and told him to keep the mill. Instead, she said, “Very well! Six months it is, but during that time, I won’t tolerate any interference from you. I can’t make decisions if I feel as if you’re looking over my shoulder all the time. I didn’t want that mill, but you forced it upon me. If I’ve made a failure of operating the business, it’s your fault as well as mine. However, I’m going back to Asheville to prove to you that I have as much business acumen as you have. If at the end of a year, I haven’t made a success of the business, I’ll return it to you gladly.”

  To her surprise, he agreed not to interfere, and Dora started making plans to move to North Carolina. Maude agreed to go with her, but not wanting to burn all of her bridges behind her, Dora sublet the apartment to a cousin who wanted to move to the city. If she couldn’t make a profit on the mill, she would have a home to return to.

  She debated a long time wondering if she should notify Allen and Ted Morgan that she was returning. She finally decided she would have a better opportunity to catch Morgan in his theft if no one knew she was coming. Maude wasn’t happy about moving away from New York, but she’d been Dora’s companion for years and neither one of them knew what she’d do without the other.

  So when she and Maude stepped off the train in Fairfield in October, her arrival was unexpected. She left Maude at the train station with the luggage and walked down the street toward the textile mill. Several people saw her and gave her friendly greetings, but she didn’t stop to talk to anyone until she met Allen coming out of the post office.

  The expression of surprise, as well as pleasure, on his face encouraged her, and she believed that she had made the right decision to plant her roots in North Carolina. As unlikely as it seemed, she believed that she would never be completely happy unless this man was her husband. The few letters she’d had from him had left her dissatisfied with the separation. Allen might not fall in love with her even if she lived in North Carolina, but it was a sure thing that marriage between them wouldn’t be possible if she stayed in New York. At that moment she wasn’t sorry she’d burned her bridges behind her, and she hoped that she never would be.

  Speechless, Allen stared at her until she stepped closer and put her hand on his arm. “I’m not a ghost, my dear.” In spite of his surprise, his eyes glowed with affection. Hope swelled inside her that he wasn’t indifferent about seeing her.

  “I don’t know what to say. Why didn’t you let me know you were coming?”

  “I didn’t want anyone in Fairfield to know I was coming, especially Ted Morgan. Maude is with me, as well as two accountants to check the business records of the mill. We just got off the train, and I came here first of all to confront Morgan so he couldn’t destroy any records. Will you go into his office with me? It won’t be a pleasant encounter.”

  “Sure, I’ll go.” He stepped up on the small porch, opened the door for her, then stood aside as Dora entered. He stayed in the small lobby when she walked toward the luxurious office Morgan had created.

  The door was open, and a man sat behind a desk. Massively built, but muscular rather than fat, the man had a strong face and bushy brows that jutted over his dark eyes. Dora assumed that he was the mill’s business manager. With a slight knock on the door, she caught his attention and entered the room.

  “Mr. Morgan?” she questioned.

  He stood. “Yes, ma’am. How can I help you?”

  She opened the briefcase she carried and removed several papers, which she laid on the desk. “These papers will identify me. I’m Dora Porter, owner of the Fairfield Textile Mill. After the past six months brought no income whatever to me, I decided it wasn’t good to be an absentee owner. I’m moving to North Carolina and, starting today, I’ll assume my duties as the mill owner. Those documents deal with your dismissal as business manager here, effective immediately. There’s also a court order prohibiting you from removing
anything from this office until the auditors have made a thorough investigation.”

  “What auditors?” he snarled.

  “I brought two of the best qualified auditors in New York City with me. They’re going to examine the mill’s books. One of them will stay here in the office at all times until this examination is completed. I haven’t been pleased with the low income from the mill during the past few months.”

  “Then you don’t trust me?” His black eyes blazed with hatred and some other emotion. Was it guilt or fear?

  “I don’t know if I can trust you, but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt until the audit is completed. Regard-less, as of today, I’m taking over management of the mill, and if I’m mistaken in my suspicions, I’ll give you a recommendation elsewhere.”

  “I don’t need your help to find a job,” he said as he jerked his coat off a hall tree. He locked the door to an adjacent room. “That’s my bedroom and living room combined. Nothing in there belongs to you, so stay out of it.”

  “I’ll give you a week to remove your possessions. After that, I’ll open the room and store the contents.”

  He passed Dora without another look, but stopped when he saw Allen in the other room. “I suppose you had something to do with this?”

  Allen shrugged and lifted his arms in a negative gesture.

  Dora stepped to the door, noting that the auditors she’d hired were also in the room. To Morgan, she said, “Allen didn’t know I was coming to North Carolina until I met him in front of the post office, so don’t blame him for your dismissal. These men are the New York auditors who found multiple errors in the records you sent to me. When all of these so-called mistakes always seemed to be in your favor, they insisted I should make some management changes.”

  One of the men, who’d been her father’s partner in one of his enterprises for years, said, “One of us will stay here in the office all the time just to be sure the records aren’t destroyed or. . .”

 

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