I stare at him for a moment before I smile. He offers me an arm and I wave it off as we walk to the car.
“You’re pretty spry for a man who’s been unconscious for four years.”
I chuckle as I climb into the car. There’s a duffle bag on the seat with fresh clothes in my new size, a few personal effects from my childhood home, and the new phone Noah mentioned.
I flip it on and I’ve got instant internet access. I scroll through the highlights of todays world news, unconcerned by the things that have changed or the things that have stayed the same. A quick search for Silas Chambers gives me a home address in Marin county.
“Carter?” I ask, “Is Marin on the way to where we’re going?”
“Not really, is there somewhere you wanted to stop?”
I consider the question, but not long enough to dissuade me from giving Carter the address I’ve found. I don’t know how long my rehab will take and I need to see her now.
Chapter Eight
Exhaling, I survey my work for the last few hours. Two tidy stacks of boxes and a pile for the shredder stare back at me. I’d managed the whole thing without crying. It helped that Silas was there. When the memories flew at me, I told him about Jeremy. Silas had only known him as the son of his most VIP clients. He didn’t know that Jeremy loved crossword puzzles or that he was an avid bird watcher. I packed up all his birding books and the collection of bird whistles for Levi. My son would enjoy playing with them when he was older, when I was ready to tell him about his father.
I didn’t tell Silas everything. I left out the time we’d hiked through the redwoods and Jeremy had fucked me against a tree. When we packed the monogrammed shirt he was wearing the first time he told me he loved me, I kept it to myself. I want my husband to know that I’m moving forward. That I’m not stuck in the past.
Looking over it all, I’m glad it’s done. Silas had offered to take the ‘give away’ boxes to the Bradfords before donating them. I rented the storage bay that will house the rest of it months ago. It’s been sitting empty, but Silas will drop those boxes off, too.
“Thank you,” I say, dropping my head between his shoulder blades as he tapes up the last box. “This would have been so overwhelming if I’d done it by myself.”
“I don’t think so,” he says, turning to face me and tipping up my face.
Hungry eyes look me over as his hands caress my neck and cradle my face.
“You, Mrs. Chambers, owe me a proper thank you.”
He kisses me and when he grips my ass hard, I know he’s not joking.
“Get on your knees, baby,” he breathes into my ear.
I feel his fingers lace into my hair and I know he’s about to yank me to the floor. Most days, I don’t mind when he gets aggressive, but it feels wrong today, surrounded by Jeremy’s things. Placing my hands firmly on his chest, I look into his eyes and give the gentlest push. He doesn’t step back, but his hands fall away and his brows pinch together.
“Silas, I… could we… later?”
He looks at me for a long time, studying me, evaluating, trying to answer some question he doesn’t want to ask. I don’t want him to ask. I take his hands and squeeze.
“I have to take Oscar out. Then I’ll make some lunch?”
“Do you still love him?”
“I’ll always love Oscar!” I tease.
As I attempt to walk away, Silas catches my hand and tugs me back to him. The kiss he presses into me starts tentatively—as if he thinks I might push him away again. I kiss back, offering both of us whatever comfort I can. He demands more, deepening the kiss. Circling my middle, one arm holds me tightly. His other arm wraps behind my shoulders and his hand clasps my neck. His lips cover both of mine and his tongue strokes and swirls in my mouth.
I give myself over in every way that I can. But his uncharacteristic expression of vulnerability and urgency rattles me. Maybe having him help me pack up my ex-boyfriend’s things was every bit as bad an idea as it had originally sounded in my head? Pulling back, he rests his head against mine while I catch my breath.
“I love you, Sylvie. You know that, don’t you?”
As I nod, I consider dropping to the floor and answering his question with my lips around his cock—but this isn’t really about that. This is about the topic we never discuss, that place where neither of us ever wants to go. The downward tug of his mouth is about the fact that I can’t imagine a time when I don't love the father of my child. The squint of his eyes is about the certainty that I’ve missed him like a lost limb every Godforsaken day that we’ve been apart. This is the chasm that’s always been between us, the verity that my husband married a woman who was in love with another man.
I can’t apologize for it; I’m not sorry. I can’t change it; I wouldn’t, even if I could. I know it’s not fair. I know he deserves better, but I gave my heart to Jeremy long before Silas and I met; and now the only answers I have for the man who’s given everything to me is a hollow truth.
“I know,” I whisper. “I love you too.”
Silas exhales a shaky breath as his grip loosens and we both breathe a little easier.
“Maybe over lunch we can talk about what comes next.”
“Next?”
“Yeah, I made an appointment with Peninsula Midwifery for you.”
“You…”
Staring into his hopeful eyes, I try to force a response, but all I manage is a head tilt and a quizzical pout.
“You always said you didn’t want to talk about another child until Levi was in school.”
“Well, yes, but…”
“He’s in school now.”
Silas pecks my mouth with his. Bouncing his brows at me, he clutches my ass again and I start to feel a little queasy.
“I think I need some air.”
“Sounds good, baby. You take Oscar out and I’ll get lunch together.”
He steers me out of the library and walks me to the mudroom.
“You’re not allowed in the kitchen, anyway,” he adds, tracing a circle on my back. “The mother of my children is going to need all of her fingers.”
Kissing the back of my hair, he heads to the kitchen. Oscar bounds toward me and tugs at the end of the leash in my hands. I clip it to his collar in a daze. Opening the front door I pray that the fresh autumn air will help me find a way to process the conversation I’ve just had.
* * *
An hour later, I’m still not sure how to address the new baby issue. I want to tell him that I’d like to work, focus on my career for a few years before we consider having another baby. But I dread his disappointment. He’s almost a decade older than I am. His career is already established. I get why he wants a child sooner rather than later. I just don’t know how to tell him that I’m not ready. Truthfully, I might never be ready.
A shiny black limo catches my attention as I approach the house. Silas’ clients almost all have boundary issues. This isn’t the first time someone has shown up at the house demanding his attention. Chuckling, I move forward, hoping to slip into the servant’s entrance. As I get closer, Silas’ voice rings out.
“This really isn’t a good time. I’ll give you a call in a few days and we’ll discuss everything. But for now you should leave.”
“I’m not leaving until I see her,” replies another voice, a voice that sucks all the air out of my chest.
Suddenly dizzy, I think I might faint. Oscar begins yipping and jumps on my legs before he tugs the leash out of my hand. The beagle runs to that most familiar voice as I stand, frozen stiff on the sidewalk. The owner of the voice smiles as the dog approaches. Leaning down, he pats Oscar’s head. I blink away my haze and focus on the man standing at my front door. That’s when I notice all the changes. He shifts positions in stiff jerks. His clothing hangs from his frail form. His carriage and manner are so different from the man who used to speak with that voice.
But when he looks in my direction and ou
r eyes meet I know it’s really him. Running toward him with glassy eyes, I see him mouth my name, but the two syllables in that single word bump at each other in a way that makes it sound so foreign.
I’m so close to him. He smiles as my legs carry me closer. I see the joyful glimmer in his hazel eyes. A playful wind blows through his thick black waves. His arms open to welcome me. The moment unfolds so slowly and there is nothing but us, until I hear another voice. Clear. Sharp. Reality.
“Sylvie,” Silas says, and I freeze again.
Jeremy stands only a couple of yards away. He struggles to step closer to me but with a single smooth movement, Silas steps between us.
“Sylvie, go inside. Now.”
Shaking my head, I walk around him to stand closer to the father of my child.
“Jeremy?” I ask. “Wha…? Whe…?”
Trembling, I struggle to find words.
“You’re really here,” is all I can manage.
I’m speaking to myself as much as anyone else. But Jeremy nods. Firm hands fall on my shoulders and squeeze.
“Baby,” says my husband, “you don’t have to deal with this right now. Go inside and I’ll make plans to see him again soon.”
The pressure he’s gripping into my shoulders suggests that he’s not asking. But I don’t budge. I’ve dreamed of this moment so many times. I’ve dreamed of wrapping my arms around Jeremy’s neck and kissing him. I dreamed of the love of my life telling me that he missed me every second of every day. I’ve dreamed of us snuggling together with our son before a fire while he tells me where he’s been and that he’ll never leave again.
As surreal as this moment is, it’s not a dream. Silas’s vise grip on me is 100% real. In all of my dreams, I’ve never considered my husband. Exhaling, I close my eyes as silent tears begin to fall.
Chapter Nine
She’s so close. Her breaths come in short strained gasps. Her shoulders rise up as she crosses her arms in front of her body and grips her shoulders. She scans me, perhaps, searching for the man I used to be. I know how different I look, but I see recognition when our eyes lock. She sees me—even without the strong body that held her countless times. But then she’d always seen me, that’s why I love her. When she nibbles on the inside of her bottom lip, I’m transported back to the last morning I saw her.
* * *
I’d been up for hours, searching through accounting footnotes, trying to make the numbers make sense. No matter how I added it up, there was too much money in the account. I was printing out a file when the creak of the office door made me smile. I knew it was her before she wrapped her arms around me and kissed the side of my neck.
“The bed got cold without you. What’s going on?”
Spinning on the wheels of my desk chair, I turned enough to pull her onto my lap. She fell into my arms with a happy sigh and rested her head on my shoulder. I loved the way she smelled in the morning, sweet and a little sweaty. I was the only one who got to see her that way.
Wearing her loose pajama pants and one of my tee shirts, she was an angel. The rest of the world saw a poised wordsmith with elegant clothes and stylish hair. But for me she was all fuzzy curls and threadbare jammies. My hands traveled the length of her legs and lingered when they reached her ass. She wiggled in my arms and my cock woke up.
“I couldn’t sleep and I didn't want to wake you,” I told her as I nuzzled the curls tickling my chin. “Let’s go back to bed for a bit before work?”
I clenched the fleshiest part of her ass to communicate my intentions. Her gaze found mine as the tip of her tongue swept over her lip. The coy half-smile she offered next made my dick hard as hell. I tried to stand, but she quickly straddled me and gripped the back of my chair.
“Are you trying to trap me, sweetheart?”
“Um hum,” she purred.
Sparkling eyes held my gaze as she brushed her pillowy lips over mine. I swallowed, caught in more ways than she could possibly understand. My hands slipped under her shirt and found her smooth warm skin. My palms tingled as they glided over her sides.
I don’t know how long I lingered there, her lips grazing gently over mine and my hands exploring all her curves and hollows. The pressure in my balls made me shift under her. I couldn’t wait any longer. Gripping her rib cage with one hand, I cupped her neck with the other and brought her mouth down hard on my lips. Hungry for her, I devoured her mouth, teasing her tongue with mine and nibbling at lips that tasted like honey and love.
“I love kissing you. Your lips make my cock so fucking hard.”
“Mmm… I love kissing you… I love…” she moaned, but I didn’t give her a chance to say more.
My lips held hers, sucking, consuming. When my hands found her breasts, she moaned. I kneaded her tender globes and she began to rub her sex against mine. The friction got me harder. The tightness in my balls made everything else fall away. My world expanded to an infinity of nothing but us, nothing but hot friction and sweet sensations and soft groans. I clenched her ass in my palms and she caught her breath, but she didn’t stop. I wouldn’t have let her. I held her against my cock. Rocking her hips over my length and thrusting against her, I drove us both closer to the edge of pleasure.
But I needed to feel her skin. I pulled her clothing off quickly as her hands groped and ripped to free me from my shirt and shorts. Naked now, I tugged her back on top of me by her ass and my fingers dug into her flesh.
“I love the way your hands feel on me,” she whispered.
Her breath was short and shallow when she started to move on top of me again. My cock bulged against her clit as I pulled her down against my balls. My fingers stretched to dip into her entrance from behind and she groaned.
“You’re so fucking wet for me, I can’t wait to get my cock inside you, sweetheart.”
She sighed. I gripped her tighter and she began to move faster. Her bare breasts danced before my eyes.
“I love it when your tits bounce like that,” I grunted. “Lean forward so I can taste them.”
She obeyed and I reached with my mouth to suck on her nipples. She came apart as my teeth scrapped at her tits and my fingers jabbed into her cunt. I gripped her tighter. Sucking on her breasts and filling her with my fingers. The sounds she made were deliciously addictive. I loved the way she shattered against me, craved her release and the surge of energy it gave me.
Spent, she fell against me, but I’d barely started. Standing up, I kept her legs around my waist as I laid her down on my office sofa. I brushed the hair from her face and kissed her flushed cheeks before I thrust into her. Her eyes flew open and she gasped for air.
“Fuck!” she breathed as I rammed in again. She clung to me, panting and whimpering, as I pumped into her. The walls of her pussy undulated around my cock and I found her mouth. When I dove into her with my tongue and my cock in unison, she came again. Writhing under my body, unable to move, barely able to breathe, she mewled. But I didn’t slow down, couldn’t ease up. I needed to fill her completely. I wanted her distracted by the ache between her legs all day. I wanted her marked, possessed, mine.
“Jeremy,” she whimpered, “God, Jeremy. Fuck!”
“I love fucking you, Sylvie. God, you feel so fucking good!”
My voice strained as I came hard inside her. My body shook as I pumped into her. I loved the way her tight slit fluttered around my dick.
It wasn’t the first time we fucked in my office. Yet I remember every touch and sensation of that morning with vivid accuracy. Afterward, my skin hummed, pressed against her warm flesh. Breathing heavily, I stroked her face.
“If you come find me this way, I’ll get up early every morning,” I teased.
“I’ll always find you,” she said.
She smiled, stroking my lips with her fingertips. Her creamy brown eyes looked past mine, deep into parts of me that had never been touched before and lit them on fire. She nibbled on the inside of her lower lip as her soft
hands cupped my jaw.
“I don’t want to start my days without you,” she whispered.
* * *
That moment feels like yesterday to me, but it wasn’t. Four years later, everything has changed. I watch the stream of tears slipping down her face. I hear her husband commanding her away from me. My whole body is quaking and I know that I should go back to the limo. But my limbs are planted. Every instinct tells me, that I can’t walk away from her. I take a shaky step closer as an engine rumbles in the background.
“Damnit, Jeremy! What the hell are you doing?” Noah calls out from somewhere behind me. The engine quiets and his footsteps approach. “You can barely stand, you told me you’d go straight to rehab!”
Noah’s arms wrap around me and I lean against him.
“What are you doing here?” I scowl at him.
“I put a tracking app on your phone in case you went rogue,” he answers.
“You told me you’d be with him,” growls Silas.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know how he even knew where to find you. I told Carter to take him straight to rehab.”
Noah shoots Carter a scolding glance, but Carter remains impassive.
“Take your wife inside and I’ll handle my brother,” Noah says.
Silas attempts to guide Sylvie back to the house, but she pushes him away. Her eyes are vicious when she faces him.
“You knew?” she yells. “You knew he was back and you didn’t tell me?”
Silas raises his palms to her and steps closer.
“Baby…”
“How long have you known? When did you find out he was back?”
Swallowing, Silas looks to Noah and then back to Sylvie.
“Noah called me yesterday,” he starts, rushing ahead as she gapes at him. “I was planning to talk to you about it today…”
“Yesterday! How could you keep this from me? We’ve been packing up his things all morning. You’ve had HOURS to say SOMETHING, ANYTHING!”
I don’t recall ever hearing Sylvie yell. I can’t hide the perverse smile that creeps across my face. I’m not surprised that Silas hasn’t been straight with her. That weasel had always been a master at bending the truth; I’d seen him do it for my parents so many times. Why would he tell her that the man she loves is alive?
Everything Stolen Page 4
