by Diane Munier
We galloped the last, the house in view, the barns. Seth ran out, down the porch stairs, and Johnny fell on him, right out of the saddle, and Seth swung him round, and carried him on his back.
They’d been eating dinner looked like for Pa still wore his bib, and held his spoon, and he came down to us, and Ma followed, her apron bunched in her hands and her spectacles crooked, and her smile so wide. I lit off my horse and she was already bent over holding Johnny to her. Then she stood and they was around me like I could not inspire before, maybe never, but I was a door now, come on in.
We were not given to display but we felt it…oh God too deep I think. “Where is Gaylin?” I said. “Have you heard about Jimmy?”
They had moved to William, and Ma cried on him, and he did not look miserable at all, but he was patient with her like always. “He is gone to Springfield. It’s been terrible,” she said, tears flowing.
“It will work its way,” Pa said to her. To me, “He would not come home. We have heard the stories now. They have brought Jimmy home on the train. Me and Ma have just returned from visiting them in town,” he said.
Seth was on me then. No words, a crushing hug, and I felt it in his back, the heave of relief. I knew he carried the work of both farms, but he would only feel grateful for I had no doubt he served something greater than his own sense of justice.
“Allie is with him,” Ma said. “They got married. They wanted to wait for your homecoming…but her place is with him. And he surely needs her. We can see it…have seen it a long time comin’. So Seth married them last Sunday.”
I nodded. “Marryin’ folks?” I said to my brother. “Well, Addie and I…we are man and wife,” I said.
Well, Ma did perk up. I thought she would squeeze the marrow. She could not stop the tears or sobbing now. Pa was patting me and patting her. Lord, it was getting tight, but I figured they’d waited a long time to step close, and me marrying was close to the second coming, and if we produced some grandchildren in addition to Johnny and Janey, it was the second coming.
When they backed off a little, and Seth had shaken my hand and Johnny was talking rat-a-tat, all the quietness we’d worked in him during our journey home leaked back out, I said to Ma, “How does Jimmy fare?”
“He has lived. Such a piece of wood flushed out of that wound. No wonder it hasn’t closed. But the fever is light now, sometimes gone all together, and he sits in the sun and Allie makes them leave him alone, but you should see how they come…reporters and marshals, even the army. He is counting the minutes until you return home, though. He has told the stories…you are the one, he says, the hero who saved them all. And William and Michael. And Gaylin…Lord. He is driven that you should all be celebrated. He goes on about the reward. He has dictated a stack of reports. He will ruin what is left of his health to see this to the end we fear.”
“He will ruin his health if he does not do this, Ma. Don’t fear for him. He has faced the worst and lived. Wait until he sees the black. He thinks him lost,” I said.
“Yes,” Ma said looking at the beast, “it haunts his dreams, that horse. It is his luck…his voo-doo Pa says.”
Pa ran his hand over Black’s ugly scar. William led them off then, to the barn to be cared for before we lit out, Johnny and Seth on his heels.
I told them quickly about the encounter in the woods. I was already the old man in the story, and it’s like my whole life went galloping past and I saw how it would be, heard myself just like that one time when I knew I would tell it and folks would listen. Well, I would see long days then if it was true.
Ma had feared the cholera in St. Louis, but I had seen no signs of it. They wanted to hear, but other than the time it took for a quick meal and to leave the boy in their good care, I felt William’s pull to move on. For we could not yet rest.
But Johnny came before we set out. “Help on…our farm,” I said. “And go to school.”
He tried to protest the school part. “Wish I could go with you and William.”
“Your job is here. No less important. You be the man ‘til I return. Your ma comes home, you step in.”
“Yes Sir,” he said. And though I longed to hear him call me Pa, Sir was something. So it was.
We rode for Greenup then, on our own mounts, leading the rest. Ma said Lenora was there with Jimmy and Allie. Mose had come for her, and he was mad, but Pa had reasoned with him and he had gone home. He’d left word under no conditions was William to sneak in and marry her, but he was to face Mose first to be reconciled. That meant Mose setting the terms and William bowing the knee.
William had said nothing to this, but he rode pensive, sometimes hopping from one horse to another, riding bareback, taking the lead. We did not speak a word all the way to town.
Jimmy had him a frame house behind the jail. It would be Allie’s too now. William led the way. We were seen on the street, but since it was a Thursday, most were in their labors.
Well, he was on the porch the way Ma said, sunning himself, shirt rolled up, pants loosened and down enough to show the puckered mouth of that wound despite the chill. Allie had hung a blanket from the eave and he sat behind it, but with the wind, he had no care who saw, the afternoon rays on him and him a great believer in the healing power of the sun. He was snoring…and Lord he could. I studied him for a bit, and Allie flew out the door. The black was there, his big head moving the blanket like he smelled Jimmy clean across town and he’d been gunning this way that’s for sure.
Well Jimmy opened his eyes at all the commotion, and saw that black. “Am I dreaming?” he asked Allie. Then to me, “Am I Tom?”
I shook my head. He struggled up, and she put herself under his arm and helped him take the steps, just the first two or so. Then she stepped away and handed him a cane, and he came the rest of the way, a grin on his face. He threw an arm around me, and I helped him take the few steps into the yard round the porch railing so he could get to the horse. His hand went right to the scar, but not for long. That horse nosed all over him, and he just stood there and let him do it, his eyes closed. “I had me a dream,” he said low.
“You tell me Garrett was in it…and light…and the four horses of the apocalypse, I’m gonna kick your britches,” I said.
He threw his arm back around me then, and squeezed, no wish to cry in front of us all…I reckon, for we’d had much of his tears. Allie clung to him, to me. “Long road,” he said when he could. It surely was.
“How’d that posse do?” I asked to lift the temper.
He stepped back and laughed, always running to thin, but he’d lost some meat, and his hand shook as he ran the back of his fingers along his well trimmed beard. “Bimes got himself shot in the butt…a bit of confusion on Finstermeyer’s part…but they had them a good ride and lots of excitement. Having sashes made to commemorate it, and every time I give the story I make sure and blow ‘em some smoke.”
We laughed a little. I looked at my sis, and she carried pain over him, but the love…how had I not seen it? I smiled at her…first time in so long. What a little beauty she was.
“Ma told me you married this dowager,” I said to her.
She blushed then, giggling like the girl she still was. He pulled her in and crushed her against him, the other hand on the cane. “Can’t believe she’d have me,” he said. “I’ve never been good enough for her,” he told me. “You didn’t have to convince me of that.”
I shook my head. “I just…well, had to get used to it. You might not be the worst husband…she’ll show you how it should be. All those things you know you don’t know…and they are vast, you know they are…she knows ‘em.” Then I back-handed him on the shoulder. “Just make sure you keep listenin’ cause I know how you get,” I swallowed then. Lord I was not going to cry like a damn baby, then I said to her, “He gets stubborn you know where to find me.”
William still sat his horse. “Pard,” Jimmy said to him. I let go of Jimmy and let the horse at him, so I could put both arms around Allie. I lif
ted her and swung her back and forth like when she was little. I saw Lenora in the doorway then. I nodded to her, even as I kept my face bent over my sis.
Allie pulled back and looked in my eyes. “You’re happy,” she said. “I didn’t know what you would be with all that happened.”
“I…am happy. I’m married too. My Addie.”
She hugged me all over again. New tears.
“He’s married,” she called to Jimmy and he stumped back over to me. I put out a hand and we shook. “Well ain’t you the sneaky bastard,” he said. “Bet they didn’t write a story about your wedding ring.”
Allie proudly held her finger up. “It was in the loot,” she said, using Jimmy’s word, I knew.
I kissed her hand and swung her round. We were laughing, and he went back to Black, putting his forehead against him.
“How’s he doin’?” I whispered to her.
She nodded at me, running her hand over my jaw. “Without you…I wouldn’t have him. I wouldn’t have a lot of things,” she said, kissing my cheek. “My big brother the hero.”
I held that little hand that had been touching me with love. I felt blessed.
I saw them then. Lenora and William. She had gone to him in the yard, him sitting on that horse. I wondered why. He’d been waiting for her.
She was taller than most, but thin and womanly. Her dress was white with lines of small blue roses. She was light-skinned, he was darker. She was always fetching, and Mose guarded her fierce, and well he should. Her long hair, was glossy black and always gathered almost regal it seemed. Well she held herself like the Queen of Sheba. I always wondered William had the nerve to go for her, but it had been her. Always. And he could get them, like I said before.
So there she was now, her big eyes on him. He never got excited. But he was interested and showing it, and for him that was the same. He moved that horse two steps closer to her. Side-steps, the horse thinking he was dancing it was so light. Lenora raised her arms to him. William, still wearing his hat, took his foot from the stirrup. He took her hands and she stepped up, then he slid his hands along her until they rested at her little waist, and he turned her and settled her in front of him on the saddle and his damn lap, her legs and skirts to the side. Well Mose would kill him just for that but William didn’t look like he gave a shit.
It had been a swift and beautiful move, leave it to him. He had his arms around her, holding the reins, her looking at him, him looking at her. Didn’t matter to him that we were gaping. Allie had gasped even. Jimmy was doing this low chuckle.
But William slowly turned that animal and let it high-step to the street. She moved one arm around him. Her still looking at him like he was the most fascinating thing God ever made. Once they were in the street he picked it up a little. And off they went.
“Now where….” I said.
“Mose is gonna split his liver,” Jimmy said.
“Let him split,” Allie said. “Lenora has replaced her mother long enough.”
We both looked at her, for she had spoken firmly, as my ma was wont to do.
I raised a brow at Jimmy. “Told you she knew,” I said.
But before I could call to William not to go far cause we needed to make a plan and get to Springfield, he was gone. I wanted to get this done and get home to Addie and I knew he was in a marrying mood judging by the looks of things. I’d never seen him lay it out like that. For him…that was a declaration.
“Well, he had to go off with the Choctaw,” I said to Jimmy.
He laughed for sure. “His runnin’ days….” He looked at Allie and shrugged, and she pretended to swat him. We tethered the horses. If William ever returned he’d see to them. Far as Black went, nobody did it to Jimmy’s liking but William.
They led me into a pleasant home. Allie had been busy. I knew Jimmy wouldn’t keep it this way. He was proud and all. It was a one room with a lean-to on back. I tried to ignore the big bed along the wall. Well, what did I expect? Folks got together. And they’d said the vows, so he was doing it right. Well, right as he could. Damn with all this love about…I wanted Addie so badly I could taste the longing on my tongue…along with the smells of Allie and Lenora’s good cooking.
But Allie got coffee, and we were all business now.
“Best hear about Gaylin,” Allie said laying out biscuit. I had just taken a biscuit and held it before my open mouth ready to bite, when her little finger was in my face. I saw the wedding ring flashing. “Don’t you dare to touch him, Tom. He didn’t mean it. Jimmy was on the laudanum pretty bad, and I blame you for some of it. So don’t you….”
Jimmy lifted up enough to grab hold of her and bring her down on his lap, his arms tight around her. “Let me tell it Sweetness,” he said.
She quieted, but she was glaring at me, in his arms, wearing each other like armor.
“Guess I got to raving about Garrett,” he said.
“Everything?” I looked at Allie and felt the heat. My baby sister knew? A trapdoor opened in me, and all my new hope took a look down then and thought about running into my boots. But she had received me in love. She had already forgiven me. But not another from my family really knew about it until now. And her of all? Not her.
But she knew me better than I imagined. Her hand reached for me. I still held the biscuit, but my hand rested on the table, and she put hers on my arm. “It’s not me you need to worry about,” she said. “I do not judge you harsh for it. I have shed many a tear for what you and Jimmy had to do. I am not the simpleton you think me. If it weren’t for you…Jimmy would have died. I meant what I said outside. You are a hero to me.”
I shook my head.
“Gaylin took off mad. He’s just like you,” she said.
“Then let him be mad,” I said, unable to look her in the eyes.
She took me by the face and made me look at her. “You do know how much we love you? How proud?”
I shook my head. “You say hero. No. Not a devil. Not a hero. Not God. Just a man. Addie helped me see it. Just a man. But a man who has to carry some things he’s learned to understand.”
She nodded. “She’s so right for you,” she said.
Now I agreed. “When did he leave?”
“He brought me home,” Jimmy said. “Even after…he knew. He did his duty. Then he said he was going to Springfield to get his share. I told him he had to wait for you…you’d bring the reports and make it official. He said he had no heart to wait. I told him if I was well I’d throw him in jail just because I could cause he needed to simmer down. He said he bared us no ill will, but didn’t want to look on our faces ever again. So now he’s you, the tragic rider goin’ west. Frankly he’s got the excuse he was looking for to raise some hell.”
I pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes. I let my hands drop. “Then let him go.”
“He needs his cut,” Jimmy said. “He’s staying at the hotel there. Ma Avery’s Inn, it’s called.”
“Sounds real dangerous.”
Jimmy laughed. “Once he gets that money…I fear he’ll be reckless.”
Now I laughed. “He has to play the prodigal…let him do it. We’ve all raised hell. I’m not his pa. He’s told me enough.”
I thought of him, the way I’d seen his heart. It had been hard going for him. I couldn’t chart his map.
By the time William and Lenora returned, I was packed and ready to get on the road. You could feel it between them, the spark and tinder. Once he delivered her to the porch, he gave her not a glance, but took care of the spare horses. While he did that I readied my pack and said my good-byes. We would not wait for the train here, but would pick it up the next day in Farnsboro. Soon we were back on the trail.
As soon as we rode I thought of her. Mayhap I would order the bricks there, for I wanted a good foundation for Johnny’s room and the other I would build with it. For now. The boards I could have sawn near home. I had all kinds of plans. I didn’t care to fill dead man’s shoes, I’d always said it. I would make that ho
use new, that’s if I didn’t tear it down and start over. Well, Riley had not built it, so it had a chance. And the barn…my people liked them big. That barn was as sad as the house. She had said I made them pathetic the way I thought of them. But they deserved all the good I could do for them, and there was so much I would do. For her? For them? I’d move whatever mountain showed.
Other Titles by Diane Munier:
MY WOUNDED SOLDIER, BOOK TWO: FIGHT FOR LOVE (available for preorder Summer 2015): Tom Tanner has taken on a family. He lived through the war, but becoming a lover and pa to two small children may be the role that breaks him. This is the story of a man’s slow rise from black sheep to patriarch--that’s if trying to herd his family doesn’t end up killing him. 1866 is a time of learning to carry on in the aftermath of civil war. Tom is ready to heal, ready to take over Addie’s farm and make it a grand place. He has money from reupping in the war and reward money for bringing a few notorious outlaws. Can Addie’s love help him settle and become an outstanding man like his pa? It’s the only fight worth making-- a fight for love.
LEAPING: Two lonely souls on the beach. A chance meeting or orchestrated? She invites him to leap to the end of what could be a great time. She has a cabin for three weeks. He has his grandfather’s Victorian house. He doesn’t take chances as a rule, but he’s been drifting for a long time. Does he have the guts to take her up on the offer? It’s reckless. But his moral compass got reset after the incident. So maybe he’ll leap and see where he lands.
FINDING MY THUNDER: The story takes place in the late sixties. Hilly Grunier has been in love with Danny Boyd since she was a kid telling scary stories on summer nights at the fire hydrant while Danny pulled close on his bike. But when Danny is thirteen, their friendship ends when he and his brother Sukey have a vicious fight over Hilly. Years pass, and Hilly carries a secret and growing love as she watches Danny rise athletically to the top of their school’s food chain. He even dates the prom queen and rumor says they are engaged. Now Danny has graduated and shows up in her dad’s shop looking for some temporary employment until the army picks him off for Vietnam. He’s thrown aside his college scholarship and the golden girl. He seems to be searching for something new before he leaves town. He seems to be searching for her. Hilly can’t let him go overseas without showing him how she feels. But once he’s gone, her own battle intensifies. It’s a long road to finding her thunder.
