by T. S. Ryder
Benjamin turned off the tablet and set it down. Leaning against the counter, he closed his eyes. The mess with Julia couldn't have come at a worse time. He needed to cut it off. With Caitlyn's announcement, he didn't have the time or energy to spare to work things out. Could he . . . ? No. He needed to focus his energy on containing the situation with Caitlyn.
"Try to keep this news from my mother as long as possible. She's been doing better lately and I don't want her to relapse."
Nicolas nodded, squirming in his shoes. "It sounds like a cry for war to me. Your mother will find out about that."
"Until Caitlyn offers an official declaration or starts to mobilize against us, we have to treat it like a situation that can be fixed."
Another nod. Nicolas hesitated. "And what about that other girl you talked about? Julia? Is she the one you were in your study with yesterday?"
"I will deal with my own personal life," Benjamin said more sharply than he intended. "But I want a copy of her personal records – phone number, address, that sort of thing. And I don't want her fired."
Nicolas looked confused for a moment but nodded. With that done, Benjamin dialed the number he dreaded phoning: Caitlyn's personal life. After several rings, she answered. There was a smug quality to her voice that had Benjamin's teeth grinding. The fact that she could get him in this state so quickly was a bad sign, but he tried to keep himself calm.
"So . . . Are you calling to apologize to me, Benny? Or perhaps to accept my offer of marriage after all?"
"I'm calling because of the statement you released. You do realize that cutting trade will hurt your kingdom more than mine, don't you? This is childish and if you think you can force me into—"
"Into acting like a decent person? Until you're ready to publically apologize, I suggest you don't call me again."
She hung up. Benjamin growled, resisting the urge to slam the phone onto the counter. Taking a deep breath, he turned to Nicolas. "I am going to bring my mother her supper and then I want to talk with the council. Get them here. I don't care what it takes."
Nicolas nodded. As he left, Benjamin quickly finished the meal and took it up to his mother's room. She sat at a table reading a letter, a hard look in her eyes. The envelope sitting beside her had the Northfall seal on it. He tensed. Had Caitlyn sent a letter to his mother about what he said?
"Mother, I—"
The queen held up a hand, stopping him. She finished reading the letter and folded it before fixing a fierce glare onto him. "What did you do?"
"Nothing I can't fix," he promised. "As soon as I'm done here, I'll release an official apology. I messed up, but I'll fix it."
"Good. Because I . . . " Maria put a hand to her chest. "I—"
Her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she collapsed. Benjamin sprang to catch her as she fell. Her body was utterly limp. Adrenaline surged through his blood and his heart jumped to his throat. Cradling his mother to his chest, he raced out the door, yelling for help. A few guards came to see what was happening, along with several servants, before the doctors got there. They pushed Benjamin out of the way and started checking Maria's vitals.
"Your Highness," one of them said, barring him from getting closer. "Your Highness! You can't help right now. Let us do our job."
"What's wrong?" Benjamin demanded, trying to push the little man out of his way. "What is wrong with her?"
"We're going to look after her."
A stretcher was raced down the hallway and Maria was lifted onto it. The guards blocked Benjamin's way as she was wheeled away. He turned away from them and fled.
Chapter Seven – A Turn in the Wind
"Thank goodness you haven't left yet!"
Julia bit back a groan. Henry was fastened in his car seat, ready to head home, and Natalie chose that moment to come get her. She tried to keep her expression polite as she turned to face her supervisor. The whole day, she had been stressed about seeing Benjamin but had been lucky. She wasn't sure she could face him after the day before . . . The guilt ate up her insides and she wasn't sure what she was going to do now. Things had gone way too far.
She really didn't want to have to try to pretend everything was good around Natalie.
"I need you," the blonde blurted when she got closer. "There was a . . . well, there's a huge mess upstairs, and I don't have anybody to go clean it up except you. I've got a ton of paperwork to do and I really, really need you to help me out."
Julia hefted up the car seat, making sure Natalie could see the baby inside. "Daycare is closed. I need to get Henry home."
"Please."
Natalie's face shone with distress. Julia sighed. Why was she letting herself get roped into this? "What kind of mess are we talking about?"
"Just some tidying in the queen's room."
"The Queen—" Julia laughed. "I don't have clearance!"
Natalie pressed her card into Julia's hand. "Just use this. You just have to make sure that the garbage is empty and stuff. Thank you so much. I owe you a million."
With a sigh, Julia headed for the elevators. Carrying Henry around in the heavy car seat wasn't her idea of fun. There were custodial closets up on the top floor that she would be able to get supplies from. She shivered as she headed up. There had been rumors flying around the palace that the queen had been rushed to the hospital late the previous night, but she had kept her head down and did her best to do her job.
When she got to the royal floor, Henry started to cry. Julia took him out of the car seat and cradled him close, shushing him as she looked through the supplies for some fresh garbage bags for the queen's room. Her distraction cost her and she bumped into a pile of toilet paper rolls, which showered down over her. Though she reacted instantly to hunch over Henry and shield him from the fluffy white rolls, his screaming got even louder.
"Henry, I'm sorry." Julia lifted him to her shoulder, patting his back. "Honey, honey, I'm sorry."
She wasn't even aware that the door had opened behind her until she smelled Benjamin's smoky scent. Her heart jumped to her throat as she whirled to face him. His eyes were red and puffy like he'd been crying. Without a word he took Henry and cradled him into the crook of his arm, rocking gently. Amazingly, the baby quieted right away.
"You're tense," he said. "Babies can pick up on that."
"Oh."
Her heart hammered in her throat as she watched the prince unknowingly cradle his son. Benjamin looked tired, exhausted even. There was something so vulnerable about him that Julia wanted to blurt out everything she had been planning and apologize a million times. She wanted to confess everything, including that Henry was his son.
"What are you doing up here, anyway?" he asked.
"Natalie sent me to clean up the queen's room."
Benjamin frowned. "You've only been here for a few weeks. You don't have clearance."
"She gave me her card. I guess she thought it was okay because . . . well . . . you and I . . . "
"Even still. She should know better." Benjamin hesitated a moment. "I've been wanting to apologize for what I did yesterday. It wasn't . . . it wasn't me."
"It's fine," she said, a little too quickly. "Really. It's fine."
Benjamin eased Henry back into her arms. The baby whimpered but relaxed quickly enough. "He's a beautiful baby. Will you come to my room for a bit? Not to . . . you know. I just want to talk."
"I—" I shouldn't. "—of course."
He picked up the car seat and led her down the hall. Julia chewed her lip, readjusting Henry on her hip. There was no way she was going to sleep with him again. She wasn't going to make that mistake a second time. No way. But it was clear that he was in a bad spot emotionally, so just talking wouldn't hurt.
It would give her a better idea of why Cynthia felt like she couldn’t tell him about Henry, after all.
Benjamin's room was different from what she expected. It was almost completely bare, except for a bed – king sized – a writing desk, a bookshelf, and an armchair
near the window. Benjamin gestured at the armchair for Julia to sit on and took the chair at his desk.
"I assume you heard what happened?"
"Only rumors."
The prince sighed. "My mother is in a coma. We don't know what happened . . . I never thought I'd become a king like this. I'm not ready. Just yesterday I messed up again . . . First with Caitlyn and then you. I'm sorry, Julia. I was using you as a distraction from my emotions and it's not fair to you."
Julia tensed briefly. His tone, his expression . . . she'd heard and seen both of these before.
"Are you breaking up with me?" The shrillness of her voice shocked her and startled Henry. She rocked him, shaking her head. "No, of course not. We weren't together. Not for real, anyway. So we can't break up. This is such a mess. I need to go."
"Wait. Please." Benjamin put a hand on her knee, then withdrew it. "I'm not looking for anything. I just . . . I just don't want to be alone. And you have a baby right there. It's not like we're going to do anything. I just feel like I need to be strong all the time. Always in control. And when it comes to you . . . "
"I'm . . . different?" she could hear the sarcasm in her own voice. "Not like other girls?"
"Well . . . "
"There is nothing wrong with being like other girls," Julia said flatly. "The Dreamers. The girls obsessed with makeup and romance. My best friend was like that and she was the sweetest, most loving girl ever. She didn't . . . "
Benjamin watched her as though he wasn't sure what to do. "Your baby . . . who is his father?"
Hell no. She wasn't answering that. "Henry was my best friend's baby. I adopted him after she passed. It's been six months but sometimes it feels like yesterday." Too much information. Her eyes burned. "I think . . . I think it was my fault."
"I can't believe that." Benjamin looked so sweet. "It can't be your fault."
"For so long, I was angry at Henry's father. I thought that it had to be something he did. She didn't want to tell him about the baby. She never told me why. I thought that he must have done something. She moved out of the city to this little trailer park in the middle of nowhere. I was driving her to the hospital and it was raining. I crashed and . . . and she died."
Tears flowed down her face. Julia bent over, repressing the sobs as the truth ripped through her. It wasn't Benjamin's fault that Cynthia had died. It was hers. They had turned a corner to find a semi-truck in their lane. She served. The truck kept going, just left them there. She had only targeted Benjamin for revenge because she was so angry at herself and didn't know what else to do. Sobs tore up her throat, the sound making Henry whimper.
Benjamin wrapped his arms around her. He took Henry with one arm, then shifted Julia so he could sit on the chair with her. His tenderness made the guilt well even deeper. This was the man she had vowed to emotionally destroy. This man who was worried about his kingdom and mother and who was comforting this near-stranger while his own mother was in a coma.
"I'm sorry," Julia sobbed, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I'm so sorry."
Benjamin rocked her, his hand moving up and down her back in calming motions. Julia continued to sob, tears pouring down her face. Every emotion twisted inside her and she didn't know what to do. Her stomach rumbled and churned, making her feel sick. Her head pounded with her tears and she clung to the prince as though he was a life vest in the middle of a churning sea.
Eventually, Julia pulled herself back together. This was it. She needed to just break away from Benjamin. He wasn't the monster she had thought he was and she needed to make a clean break before her heart got more twisted up. They agreed that there would be no emotions, no relationship.
But she had cried with him, and that felt more intimate than when they had sex.
"I have to go home," she blurted, reaching for Henry – her son. Her boy. "I have to . . . I don't think I can work here any—"
"No." Benjamin's arms tightened around her. "Julia. Please. Don't. I know that there can't be anything between us, but I just don't . . . I can have a bassinet sent up. Just don't leave me."
Julia sank back down, her arms tightening around him. It was a mistake, she knew. But she couldn’t leave him. She just couldn't.
Chapter Eight – Drums of War
The heart monitor beeped regularly. The doctors had assured Benjamin that his mother's heart was strong and since she was breathing on her own, there was no need for a ventilator. But she still hadn't woken up. Tests had shown electrical activity in her brain. The doctors couldn't figure it out. The queen should be awake. She just . . . wasn't. Her temperature was high and so was her white blood cell count, as though fighting off infection, but there was no other sign of that or of any sort of poisoning.
Benjamin stroked her hand, his gaze on his feet rather than her pale, sleeping face. She was too strong for this. Maria had been queen for almost three decades, and on her own for twenty years. Benjamin's father had died when he was only a young Dragon and there had been pressure on Maria to step down as queen since she didn't have a mate and taking a new one would have been scandalous. But she was too strong for that and had moved on to make the kingdom what it was today.
Benjamin wiped his eyes. She had fought so hard and he was wrecking it all. The stress was too much. "I'm going to make this right, Mother. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but I am going to fix what I've done. I've sent official apologies to Caitlyn and promised that at my next press conference I will make a public apology."
No response. Not that he expected one.
"And as for the women . . . It stops now. I'm not going to have women come in and out of my rooms anymore. I will pick someone and I will court her properly." A smile crossed his face as he thought of Julia. "There's this one girl. No, not a girl. She's a woman in every sense of the word. She's a housekeeper, but I don't care about that. She has this way about her – like she can look at me and cut me to the core. She makes me think that I'm ready to stop hiding my true self. I don't know if there is a future between her and me, but there is certainly a present . . . I wish you could advise me on what to do."
Benjamin stood. He tucked his mother's hands under her blankets and strode from the room, trying to leave his heart at the door. While it was understandable that he would be emotional, he had to give an illusion of being utterly in control. Now that his mother was in such a state, if the generals sensed any weakness, any hesitation, then his rule would be over before he was even crowned king.
The council room was already a flurry of discussion and activity when he arrived despite his being a half an hour early. Benjamin frowned as he took his spot at the head of the table and glared at the white-haired generals until they quieted and sat.
"What is this ruckus about?" he demanded, keeping his voice even.
General Karl, the oldest of the generals, frowned at him. "You need to keep yourself up to date. You should know about this before we do. Queen Caitlyn is marching towards our borders. We've received reports of her strongest soldiers in battle gear headed this way. Marching, not flying, so we have time to respond."
As if this day had to get worse. Benjamin thought for a moment. He could respond in the like, but to react aggressively would only mean that hostilities would escalate. He needed to cool things off, not excite them.
"Evacuate all the settlements on that border. Bring them into the heart of the kingdom and set up a blockade." His first inclination was to march out against Caitlyn, to decimate her armies and drive her to her knees. But that would only encourage other kingdoms to rise up with the war on their minds. "I want a press conference set up at once. Caitlyn's aggression cannot go unchecked. I want—"
"There are other kingdoms following her lead. Her closest allies have all flown to her kingdom, no doubt to make agreements to help her destroy us," Karl interrupted. "Press conferences aren't going to do much about that."
Flames rose up Benjamin’s throat and he turned away, fighting to swallow them back down. They burned hot, making his eyes
water. Smoke leaked from his nose and between his lips, but he managed to keep the fire inside.
The generals all stared silently as he turned back around. They waited for him to speak, but Benjamin wasn't sure they'd listen to what he had to say. While he did think they liked him, it was hard to respect an unmated Dragon – particularly one that showed no interest in taking a mate. It was made even worse considering that he was going to be the king and yet had no queen or heir.
If he ordered their armies to march, they would march. And he so wanted to . . . He didn’t want to roll over and play the submissive one. They were a relatively small kingdom, though, and how many of his citizens would die if he let his more violent tendencies get the best of him?
"I am not going to let this evolve into an all-out war. My mother is not going to wake from her coma to find the kingdom in ruins. Evacuate the settlements near the border and set up that press conference. Caitlyn is not going to destroy everything that we've built here."
Karl nodded. "It will be done."
Benjamin nodded. Hopefully, it would be enough to get them some breathing space.
***
This was worse than he thought. Benjamin pinched the bridge of his nose, trying not to snarl. Caitlyn had stopped her march when he issued his apology for the personal insults he had delivered, coupled with a condemnation of her hostile actions. She had refused to withdraw her armies, but at least he was able to open a dialogue with her.
The same could not be said of her allies.
He looked up as Julia entered his room, yawning. She held little Henry and he smiled as she passed him the baby. With everything that was happening, he found a great deal of solace in her presence. They rarely saw each other when she was working, but she spent a few minutes with him at the end of her shift every day.
"Did you give me the baby just so I'd change his diaper?" Benjamin asked, wrinkling his nose.
Julia collapsed on his bed and kicked off her shoes. He liked the way she looked there. She didn't respond, so he quickly changed the dirty diaper and sat next to her, rocking Henry. The baby smiled a gummy smile at him and made cooing noises. His heart lifted slightly, although not by much.
