by Dale, Lindy
“Thank you,” I say.
“You be careful getting home.”
“I will.”
“And you should see your doctor about the blood pressure. They can give you medication for that.”
“Yes. Of course.”
By this time, seeing that I am not dying and therefore not overly interesting, the crowd have gone back to their evening entertainment. But Nicholas and Joel, who have been at my side the whole time, are watching me anxiously.
“Can we walk you home, Sadie? I don’t like to think of you wobbling your way along the beach alone,” Joel says, his eyes intently scrutinizing my face. He puts a hand under my elbow and helps me to my feet. I’m thankful for his help, yet the only thing I can think of is the fact that I want to sleep with him. A lot. Right now. Obviously, I’m fuzzier from the fainting episode than I realised. I mean, he’s annoying. Really annoying. Even when he’s being nice.
And I just kissed Nicholas who’s incredibly sweet and lovely.
But Joel’s cute, too.
What the hell is up with me?
“Um, yeah.” I gaze into his eyes there’s a hint of something, something I know I shouldn’t be seeing.
While Nicholas waits to pay the bill — again — Joel and I begin a slow start along the beach path towards my place. I’m shaky on my legs but I feel okay. Shocked and embarrassed mostly, not ill. I can’t believe I fainted. Joel must think I’m some ditzy girl who has no resilience at all and I’m not like that.
“How do you feel?” Joel asks, as we walk.
“Okay. Fine. Embarrassed.”
“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about—”
He wasn’t the one laying on the floor.
“—I’m not a fan of roller coasters if that’s any consolation. Last time I went on one I spewed all over the chick I was with and a few of the people in the carriage behind us. The woman in had chuck in her hair.” He gives that killer smile and my knees go weak all over again.
Aww. That’s sweet, I think. Well, not sweet that he’s a wuss about rides but sweet that he’s trying to lessen my pain by telling me about his own.
“I bet you were popular.”
“About as popular as a priest in a synagogue. The girl dumped me when we got off the ride.”
“How could any girl be angry with you?”
“It’s got me beat. I mean, look at me. Irresistible, or what?”
God, if he only knew. Though I think he does.
We’ve stopped walking at this stage. I don’t know why but we’re facing each other and gazing into each other’s eyes as the moonlight shines on the water. It’s like a cheesy seduction scene but it isn’t cheesy at all.
Joel steps closer. He runs his tongue over his lips. “I’m glad you’re okay.” His voice is little more than a whisper. A deep, gravelly whisper that sends shivers of desire running down my spine. “I wouldn’t like to see you hurt. I don’t think I could carry you all the way home.”
“Hey!”
“Joke, Sadie.”
“Not funny. No wonder you can’t keep a girlfriend if that’s the way you speak.”
“Who says I want one? I’m pretty happy with the term ‘confirmed bachelor’. I’m into bedding not wedding.”
“I think you’re lying. Under that sarcastic exterior is a big softie who wants to be loved.”
“I think you should stop talking so much so I can kiss you.”
His arms move to envelope me and then, before I know what’s hit me, he’s backed me against a tree and is kissing me like I’ve never been kissed before. The kiss is long and deep and passionate, so much so that I don’t even notice the rough bark of the trunk digging into my back. His kiss makes my blood race through my veins. My skin is on fire, aching for him to touch me, like a burning need, a craving I can’t squash.
Joel leans his body into mine. I feel the rapid rise and fall of his ribs pressing into my chest and the heat in his hands as they skitter around my sides and squeeze my bum, pushing me closer to his crotch. I feel his erection growing between us and I want it. I want it in me. I want to wrap my legs around his waist and let him in.
After a minute, Joel’s lips unlock from mine. He moves his hands, placing them on the trunk on either side of my head. He’s struggling to breathe and I know the kiss has affected him as much as it has me. I lower my forehead to his chest, my hands clutch at his t-shirt as his chin comes to rest on the crown of my head. I feel the touch of his lips in my hair.
“Don’t stop.” I whimper. “Please don’t stop.”
“I have to.”
I look up, searching his face. “Why? You can’t kiss me like that and stop. It’s not fair. If I did that you’d say I was a cock tease.” I sound like a whiny teenager but I can’t help it. He’s given me a taste and I’m addicted. I can’t exist without his kiss.
“You’re a child, Sadie.”
“Er, I’m twenty-one. Not exactly a child.”
“I’m too old for you. You should be hanging around with kids your own age.”
“You’re not exactly a grandpa. What are you, like, thirty?”
“Twenty-nine. Nick’s thirty.”
“Time to stop behaving like children then.” I kiss his jaw, his earlobe. My lips trail over his throat, sucking and nipping at his skin. Standing on my tiptoes, I pull his face to mine, kissing him hard. I weave my fingers into his hair and lock them behind his neck, feeling a low vibration of approval as I do. I push my breasts against him, feeling them swell as his hands slide from the tree to my ribs. I push my crotch against him, rubbing. He groans with pleasure before lifting my chin and taking possession of my mouth again. I want him. I want him so much.
Then he pulls away. “Jesus, Sadie.”
“What?” My lungs are gasping for air. His air.
“Stop. If you don’t I’m going to fuck you, right here against the tree. Now.”
And that would be such a bad thing? Right about now, I’m thinking, no.
“Then do it.” I kiss him again. I thrust myself wantonly against him.
Joel clasps my hands firmly to my side. “I mean it. I won’t be able to control myself if you keep that up.”
“I don’t want you to. Kiss me. Kiss me again.”
He shakes his head in dismay. “Oh, fuck it,” he groans, before shoving his tongue down my throat again. Clinging to him, I wrap my legs around his body. I can feel his toned muscles beneath my thighs and I want to be below him. I want to feel all of him.
And at that precise moment, Nicholas comes jogging along the path, causing Joel to practically drop me in the sand. Talk about hurtle me into reality.
“So. I guess you’re over your fainting episode?”
Nicholas’ face is like thunder. His eyes are stormy with anger and his fists are clenching in and out as if he wants to punch something. I hope it’s only the tree.
I don’t know what to say. There is nothing I can do to undo what he’s witnessed, nothing I can say that will make it right. I hang my head in shame and disgust. I am behaving like some slutty sort of trollop, pashing every guy in the bay just for the fun of it. Seeing how many blokes I can kiss in one night. He has every right to be cross. They both do.
But I’m not like that. I don’t do that. I’ve always been the monogamous type. Okay, so my experiences haven’t exactly led me to a point like this before but even when I’ve had a boyfriend I’ve never felt the urge to go around kissing other boys at the same time. It’s these two. They’re messing with my brain. They’re making me want them both which I know is totally wrong and yet I don’t care.
This is bad. Very bad.
“I thought we had something going, Sadie.” Nicholas sounds hurt. “When you kissed me back there, I—”
Joel’s eyes spark. Even in the dark I can feel his anger. “You kissed Nick too?”
And before I know what’s happened, Joel has launched himself at Nicholas and they’re scrabbling about in the dirt. Nicholas has punched Joel on the
side of his jaw and Joel has countered with a swift knee into Nicholas’ stomach and a jab to his ribs.
Oh shit. Bad. Reaaalllly bad.
“No, no. Stop, please stop,” I scream. “Don’t fight, please don’t.” Unable to come up with a better solution, I lurch myself between their bodies and yank at their shirts, trying to pull them apart. God, we must look ridiculous, rolling about like we’ve gone for a swim in a vat of alcohol. But my plan works. They stop. We flop to our backs all three of us staring silently, angrily into the starry sky.
“I thought you liked me,” Nicholas says. He’s still panting from the exertion.
“I do.”
“What about me?” Joel says.
Oh fuck.
“I like you both.” My voice is small. I sound pathetic, I know I do but I have no other defence. “Please don’t fight. I don’t want you to be angry or hate each other. This is my fault completely. I don’t know what happened. It’s just that, well, you’re both so cool and I was flattered by the attention.”
It’s an insipid excuse, not even an excuse.
“That’s all?”
“No.”
“Then what?” Joel’s super angry with me now. And Nicholas is hurt. How the hell did I end up in this situation? Okay. We don’t need to go there again. Everyone knows how I ended up here.
“It’s more than that. I’ve never been attracted to two guys at the same time. Not to the point where I feel compelled to be with you both without caring about morality or what people say about it being wrong. If I had a choice I’d want you both.”
“You can’t date both of us at the same time. God, Nick was fucking nightmare enough when I wore his bloody Guns ‘n’ freakin’ Roses t-shirt one damn time. There’s no way we could share a girl. We’d fucking kill each other.”
I know that. I’m not an imbecile.
“Forget it,” I say. I scramble to my feet, looking down at the two beautiful men below me. “We’re drunk. It was a stupid thing to say. I’m going back to the city in a couple of days. You never have to see me again. I’ll leave and you can forget you ever met me and go about picking up random separate girls or whatever it is you do. I didn’t mean to cause trouble between you. I don’t want to wreck your friendship.”
I walk away, leaving them both sitting beside the tree in the darkness and as I do, I’m praying that one of them, at least, will run after me and beg me not to leave, but they don’t. And by the time I get back to the cottage and open the gate, the tears are streaming down my face.
Chapter 6
I spend a fitful night, alternately tossing from side to side then staring at the ceiling. By the time the sun is coming up, I’ve come to the conclusion that being with neither of the guys is preferable to having to choose between them. It’s awfully conceited of me thinking I’d ever even have to choose though. I’m ordinary. I don’t stand out in the crowd. I go to school. I study. I have a part time job. I sing along badly to my favourite songs and have panda eyes almost every morning because I don’t take my makeup off the night before. I’m pretty but I’m not a great beauty. And more importantly, I’ve never done anything remotely rebellious in any aspect of my life — with the exception of that one time Emily talked me into smoking a joint and that was a disastrous event that won’t be repeated. I simply don’t understand how I can be in this dilemma, how two such angels can fall to earth and land at my feet. I couldn’t live with myself if I hurt either of them. And if choosing means one of them getting hurt, I’d rather not. I’ll move on. Chalk it up to holiday romance and get on with my life with a guilt free conscience.
But the thought somehow makes me feel bereft. I have this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach when I even contemplate the idea of giving up either Nicholas or Joel. It’s like I’ve been handed something precious and will never have the chance to nurture it. I want to get to know them. I want to have them both as friends. Maybe we can be friends? Yeah. And maybe Kurt Cobain will come back from the dead and Nirvana will reunite.
After falling asleep somewhere around three, I get up late. It’s another sunny day, so I put a load of washing on the line and set about folding the rest of my clothes that have somehow made a messy pile for themselves on the bedroom floor. I download a couple more books to my Kindle and charge it up. I tidy the house and clean the bathroom until it looks spotless. Then I spread out my schoolbooks on the table on the verandah and prepare to spend a lazy morning watching the clothes dry and studying.
After about an hour, I hear the beach gate click open. I have no idea who it is. I don’t know anyone in the bay except Nicholas and Joel and after last night, I’m guessing I’d be the last person they’d want to see. I look up and there they are, both of them, surfboards tucked their under arms, great wide grins and wetsuits half peeled from their bodies showing their tans. The sight of the two of them in those body-hugging wetsuits is enough to cause throbbing in parts of my body that are not used to the experience of late. And now, with them standing in front of me like twins, I find I am unable to avert my eyes.
Not that I want to. The view is rather nice.
The feeling of desire I’ve been attempting to supress since last night, that I’ve told myself I’m not allowed to have, bursts into a flame. I want them, I want them both.
“Morning, Sadie.”
“Uh, hi.”
What going on? Why are they looking so smarmy? Well, apart from the fact they probably know every girl on the beach has been watching them jog up my path looking like Greek gods. “Good waves?”
“Perfection. We caught a few sets. Amazing what being on the water can do when you need clarity.” Nicholas shakes out his wet hair and pushes it back from his face. His eyes are twinkling with some sort of hidden secret. Why isn’t he avoiding me? Why isn’t he angry? I hurt him last night.
Joel takes his board and spikes it into the sand. He walks over to the table, placing his hands on the back of the chair opposite me. His biceps ripple and so do my insides.
This is ridiculous. I can’t look at him without imagining something crude. I force myself to concentrate on Joel’s face and what he’s saying. Not easy.
“Nick and I have been talking. Look, can we sit?”
“Are you still going to kill each other?”
Or me?
“Nah. We think we’ve found a solution.”
I motion to the chair, though I’m not certain I’m going to like what they’re going to say. Slamming my books shut, I stack them in some sort of pile and focus on the two men. “So what’s the solution?”
Nicholas swallows. He’s looking nervous now that we’re down to the business end of their visit. Joel on the other hand is looking like the cat that got the cream. “We’ve got a proposition for you.”
I don’t think I’ve ever been ‘propositioned’.
“Go ahead.”
“Have you got anything to drink?”
“Don’t you think it’s a little early?”
Nicholas shrugs. “It’s beer o’clock somewhere in the world.”
I sigh. He seems anxious, like he wants to say something important but is afraid I’ll clock him over the head with a book when he does. “I have cider, I think.”
I get up and go to the kitchen. I scour the fridge and find three stray bottles from a six-pack. I throw a few crackers onto a plate with some left over cheese and dip because Mum always said you should offer guests something to eat and drink. It’s only manners. Plus, I need a minute to collect myself. Being so close to them both is making it hard for me to think straight.
When I return, the boys have their heads together. Their voices are low and I can’t hear what they’re saying but it’s obvious it’s about me because they instantly go quiet when they see me return. They look like two school boys caught smoking behind the shelter sheds, though I sense whatever it is they’re about to share might be a tad more serious than who gets the last drag of the cigarette.
I put the plate on the table and give th
em a bottle each. Then I sit opposite, fighting the overwhelming urge to climb over it and curl up in Nicholas’ lap. I can’t help it. The man is all unruly hair and bare chest. How am I meant to resist that?
I take a swig of my drink, forgetting that the time has only recently ticked over to lunch. “So, what’s up?”
They look at each other. They don’t seem to know what to say or maybe who should say it. For some reason they seem hesitant. Then, Joel speaks, “Nick and I mulled this over all last night and we’ve talked about it again this morning.”
“Like I said,” Nicholas adds. “The ocean has a way of giving you clarity.”
“Yeah,” Joel agrees. “Whatever. Anyway, we’re assuming after what happened, that you like both of us.” He gestures to his friend as if to confirm what the three of us already know. “You don’t seem like the type of girl who goes round hooking up with everything that walks—”
Ah, like, duh.
“I’m not.”
“But you like us both.”
I wish they’d get to the point. I pick up my cider and take another swig. I don’t know why I’m so uncomfortable with this conversation. I’ve had far more awkward ones. “You have some form of solution for my dilemma?”
“Yeah. A threesome.”
And my cider spurts from my mouth across the table. Tiny bubbles of it land in the dip. Even more embarrassingly a few land on Joel’s chest. I begin to cough. I’m choking. Oh, this is hectic. I’m going to die before I ever get to contemplate having sex with the two men who just propositioned me.
Nicholas moves to my side of the table. He slaps me on the back. His hand lingers even after I stop coughing.
“What? Like, with you two?” I ask, looking up at him. I must sound like a complete moron but, come on, how many of us would ever get propositioned in this way unless they’re on some reality show?
