by Dale, Lindy
I roll in Joel’s direction. He’s asleep, so I snuggle into his chest and wrap my arms around him. He feels good — hard and soft at the same time. His heart is beating slowly, lulling me back to sleep. Then he stirs and his arm creeps over mine, his hand comes to rest on my bum, which he caresses before giving it a pinch.
“Ouch,” I whisper, half-giggling and not wanting to wake Nicholas.
“Morning.” Joel bends his head. His lips are on mine. His mouth begins to devour me, making me open up to him. I love the way he kisses. I pull away at last and he makes a little face like he’s sad.
“Morning,” I whisper back.
“Are you okay?”
“Yep. You?”
He grins and kisses me again. I guess that’s his answer.
Over my shoulder I feel Nicholas stretching. He rolls, spooning me, and brushes the hair from my shoulder before kissing it. His fingers linger and I feel loved, so loved.
“Morning,” he says. His voice is gravelly in the aftermath of the drinking last night but the huskiness is sexy. It sends ripples of desire through me.
I kiss his fingers on my shoulder. “Morning.”
“You okay?”
I think I’ve had this conversation before. Joel seems to think so, too. He’s smirking. I know I shouldn’t love it, but I do. He’s so devilish.
“Yep. You?”
“The best.” Nicholas pecks my shoulder again. He shuffles closer so that the length of his body is touching mine. I roll over, hooking my leg over his hip. I feel rather naughty, like doing this is so wrong. But it feels so right.
“The best, huh?”
He nods slowly. I can see the lust in his eyes but it goes deeper than that. Way deeper. It’s the way I feel too.
“I’ll see your ‘best’ and raise you an ‘awesome.’” Forgetting that we agreed I should never see who does what or how the boys look in daylight — except when they’re clothed, of course, I slide my hands between us, taking Nicholas’ erection in my fingers, rubbing it against me. He doesn’t move but smiles, allowing me to control what’s happening, feeling me pushing my suddenly needy body onto his. Behind me, Joel plays around the crack of my bottom. His hard length is thrusting slowly between my legs and his hands are squeezing my breasts. Nicholas bites into my neck. Every nerve in my body is on fire. My breathing elevates; my heart pounds out of control. They’re going to tip me over the edge without even doing it at this rate.
“Sadie? Anybody home?” It’s Emily.
“Fuck.” Joel sits bolt upright in the bed.
Well, not literally, we were just getting to that.
“What’s she doing here?” Nicholas asks.
“Shhhh!” I hiss. I hear Emily’s heels clicking down the hall. Five more seconds and she’s going to be opening the door and exposing me for the slutty thing I am.
Oh shit. Oh shit, shitty, shit.
I scramble from the bed, trying to untangle my foot that’s become twisted in a sheet as I go and accidently punching Nicholas in the side of the head in the process.
“Jesus, Sadie, that hurt.”
“Shut. Up!” I fall flat on my face on the floor, my naked bottom in full view, and for some reason I feel very embarrassed. Why? I don’t know. I mean, the boys saw every bit of me up close last night. It’s nothing new.
“Sadie? Are you okay?” Emily calls.
God, what is with everyone and asking me if I’m freaking okay today?
“Yes, yes. I’m coming. I just banged my knee on the chest of drawers, that’s all.” I grab my robe from the chair and wrap it around my body before rushing to the door. “Stay there,” I order the boys. “And don’t move a muscle. Don’t even breathe. I’ll get rid of her somehow.”
I slither out the bedroom door, holding it closed behind me. I fluff my hair and attempt to look un-bedded and less hung over. My smile is strained and tight.
“Hey, how was your night?” My voice cracks as I speak and I know Emily knows I’m up to something. I cough and clear my throat. She’s looking at me oddly, like I have two men in my bedroom or something.
Oh that’s right. I do.
“Fabulous. Alex is so nice, a real gentlemen. I told him I wasn’t up for some holiday shag and he was perfectly fine with that. I’m meeting him for dinner tonight. I hope you don’t mind. I came up here to spend time with my bestie and I feel like I’m blowing you off.”
I wave a blasé hand. “Go for it. Really. I’m glad you think he’s nice and you should take some more time to get to know him. Totally.”
Emily frowns. “You’re not upset?”
“Not at all. We can spend the day together and then you can see Alex tonight. I don’t mind a quiet night in.”
With my two favourite men.
“What’s up, Sadie?”
“Nothing. Nothing at all.” I grip the doorknob tighter. I may be about to dislodge it from the door I’m gripping so tight.
“Have you got someone in there?”
“Don’t be silly.” I move, blocking Emily from entering. She can’t find the boys in my room. She can’t.
Emily’s mouth opens. Her eyes widen. She smiles. “You so have. Is it Nicholas?” And before I can stop her, she sidesteps me and ducks under my arm in a move worthy of a dance sport champion. She flings the bedroom door open.
This. Is. The. End. Of. My. Life. Like. Literally.
“Well, hello there.”
I follow Emily into the room. Every muscle in my body is taut. I’m biting my top lip so hard I’ve drawn blood. There’s an awful metallic taste in my mouth.
“Hey, Emily. Good night?” Cradling his head in his hands as he lounges back on the pillows is Nicholas. He’s naked, of course, with a sheet covering his lower half. The muscles of his chest are flexing slightly but he’s looking relaxed and sated, like someone has just awarded him an Oscar for Best Performance in a Threesome or Love Triangle.
Emily recovers quickly. The shock of seeing him in my bed is clearly not what she was expecting, even though I told her I liked him. Under any other circumstances, this moment would not have been happening for weeks yet and she knows it. “Um, yes, thanks. You?”
Nicholas stares pointedly at me. A cheeky glint appears in his eye. “The best. I’m hoping for a repeat performance.”
It’s then I realise the bedroom window is open and Joel has disappeared.
Chapter 9
Later, after Nicholas has gone home and lunchtime rolls around, Emily and I lay on the front lawn eating left over pizza from the fridge and sharing a bottle of Coke. I feel odd about what happened last night what with the boys and I almost being discovered. I’m not sure I can go through that again. Even if I’m more attracted to Nicholas and Joel than I have been to any boys ever, lying and subterfuge have never been my strong point. The need to see them, to be near them, however, is so strong it’s like I’m addicted. If this is to carry on, I can’t do the casual no-strings thing. It’s wrong. Very wrong. But I can’t have them both at the same time because that’s wrong too. It’s a lose/lose situation.
I glance to where Emily is dozing beside me on the grass, recovering from being up the entire night and seeing in the sunrise with Alex. Even with her eyes closed she has a smile subtly gracing her face and I’m glad that, this time, she may have met someone who isn’t a complete loser. I wish I could talk to her about what’s happened. I need to share so I can get things straight in my head. I give a sad sort of sigh. I can’t. Emily might have had a million boyfriends but there’s no way she’d approve of me carrying on with two guys… at the same time… in the same bed. I’m stuck on my own on this one.
After we’ve been lying there for a couple of hours and the day is getting long, I turn over on the rug to see Joel and Nicholas coming along the front path of the house. They’re in shorts, t-shirts and joggers and Joel has a small backpack slung over his shoulder.
“Hi,” I beam up at them, refusing to chastise my heart that’s doing a little flutter dance in my
chest. I can’t help myself. I can’t turn away. Looking at these two is enough to make a grumpy bear smile. “What are you doing here?”
“We’re gonna hike up to the lighthouse. We thought you might like to come too. See the sunset.” Their faces are expectant and I don’t know if this is some sort of code or if they really want me to go for a walk. After last night, I’m lucky to know what day it is. My head has been spinning in sexual circles all day and I haven’t been able to even clean my teeth without thinking of Nicholas and Joel and breaking into a stupid grin.
Emily, who has woken from her nap, sits up on the rug, rubbing her eyes. “Hey.”
“Hi Emily. Joel and I stopped by to see if you girls want to come for a hike up to the lighthouse. It’s only a couple of kilometres and the view’s pretty spectacular from the cliff.”
I guess they do want to go for an actual walk then. I don’t know why but I feel flattened by this news.
Emily looks at me. “Are you going on this hike?”
I can see in her eyes she’ll be astounded if I agree. Sure, I go to the gym and try to keep fit but trekking along a bush track has never been my idea of a fun way to spend an afternoon. But then I’ve never been asked to trek through the bush by two gorgeous men.
“Sure. Why not?” I get up from the grass. “Give me five minutes to change into something more appropriate and I’m all yours.”
In more ways than one.
Emily stays where she is. “I think I’ll pass. I’m knackered after last night and I can catch a few more z’s while you’re gone. Have to look my best for the big date later.”
“No biggie,” Nicholas says, a smile playing on his lips. “We should be back by eight or so. The path’s well lit so it’s safe to walk back after dark.”
I study his face. Secretly, I know he’s as happy as I am that Emily’s chosen to stay behind and work on her tan. In our case, three is definitely not a crowd but four would be.
*****
The walk to the lighthouse is easy and on the way the three of us chat about all sorts of things. I know we aren’t in a relationship and I’m under no illusions that this will ever happen but I feel like I’m on a date. There’s an anticipation hanging in the air that I find hard to explain and I’m guilty of contributing to it as much as the boys. In the few short minutes I had to get changed, I made damn sure everything was smelling the way it should and my shorts showed the right amount of leg while still being practical for walking. I want to impress them, to know and like me for more than sex. Okay, so I want them to think I’m hot as well, or I wouldn’t have chosen these shorts but, hey, I’m not a complete idiot.
While we walk the boys make cute comments about things that happened last night. They don’t give anything away though and I’m still literally in the dark about who did what and when. The inference that they want to go to that place again is clear and my resolve to end this begins to disintegrate. It’s pathetic that I’m fickle. So freakin’ fickle it disgusts me.
As we tramp up the track, Nicholas and Joel take turns holding my hand. They carry the bag without a hint of jealousy when one tells the other to swap. It’s weird that they’re behaving this way. I mean, who does that? What person in Earth wouldn’t feel a twinge of jealousy when the one they want is with someone else? Their remedy seems to be to tease me about my ability to faint at nothing and the amount of bruises and cuts I’ve amassed in the last few days for no good reason. They move to my apparent lack of experience with men, which is totally not true. I’ve been round the block a couple of times. There just wasn’t enough there to make me want to stop and smell the roses. I wonder if they’d be so jovial and flirty if we’d had sex when I could see their faces? Would things be different? Surely there’d have to be a touch of the green-eyed monster? And what about me? Would I have developed a preference after one time with them both? If I could have seen their faces as they came, felt the emotion, would things be different for me?
After about twenty minutes, we emerge from the bush track. The cliff top sprawls in front of us and a gravel path winds its way through a meadow of long grass to the lighthouse. I stop for a second to catch my breath because, even though I’m fit and the hill wasn’t steep, it was long and relentless.
“Almost there,” Joel says, as he points to the huge stone building towering over the cliff. The structure itself is massive, stretching into the sky, and I look up taking the spectacle in.
“Wow. That’s amazing. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a lighthouse up close before. It’s enormous.”
“Where’ve you been, Sadie?”
“Possibly with my head in the sand.”
“The view from the cliff is better,” Joel says. “Come on.”
We sprint for the last part of the path until we come to an abrupt stop at the precipice of the cliff. I feel happy and alive despite the fact that the waves are crashing against the rocks below us and gushes of water are swirling in treacherous whirlpools around them.
“I win!” I shout, dancing around like I’m in a Rocky movie and punching the air.
“Who said it was a race?” Nicholas said. He’s panting, so obviously it was.
“Anyway, we let you win.” Joel tackles me and the three of us fall to the grass. As Nicholas keeps hold of my hand, Joel tumbles me into the grass and kisses me fully on the mouth. So fully, that my stomach goes woozy and parts of my anatomy that I thought had been well and truly serviced last night begin to beg for more.
At last, Joel becomes still, his body shifting slightly away from mine. He props his head in his hand, his other tracing patterns along the bare skin of my arm. He smiles, a slow sensual smile and stares deep into my eyes. “You’re a cool chick, Sadie.”
“You’re not so bad yourself.”
“I like you. A lot.”
I blink back at him. Please don’t do this, I think. I can cope — possibly — if this thing is about sex but if Joel starts getting deep and meaningful, with Nicholas here, holding my hand, it’s weird. Especially when I know Joel’s not the deep and meaningful type. I push them both aside and sit up. I take one hand from each into my lap. I caress them, feeling their similarities and differences. I turn their palms and examine them.
“Uh, uh.” Joel pulls his hand away. “No cheating.”
“But you’re hurt.”
The skin on the underside of his hand is red and angry. It’s been bleeding.
“I scratched it out on the reef earlier.”
“It looks sore.”
“I’m a big boy. Anyway, it’s no worse than the scratches you carved into my back last night.”
“And mine.” Nicholas adds.
Okay. That’s a little too much information.
We leave the cliff top and approach the large stone tower. Nicholas opens the timber door and stands aside so I can step inside before him. I pause, taking it in — the thickness of the walls, the circular nature of the building. The sheer size of the staircase as it winds around the walls is daunting. “Are we going up?”
“Sort of the point,” Joel says.
“Are we allowed?” It looks like a private home to me.
“Yep. Nick knows the caretaker. It’s cool.”
I stare up into empty space above. There’s a few levels, obviously with some type of rooms, but the void is expansive. It’s a long way up. A long way to fall back down and land SPLAT on the flagstone floor. “I don’t think I’ll bother, but you go. I’ll wait here.” I plop onto the bottom step as if to signal my decision.
Joel quirks an eyebrow. “Are you scared?”
“Petrified. I hate heights. Enclosed spaces are fine, you know like with windows all around but any place where I might fall literally freaks me out. Those stairs are giving me the creeps just looking at them.”
“Do you think we’d let anything hurt you? After last night?”
There he goes getting all deep again. “No, but that doesn’t make it any less scary.”
“Would it make it easier if w
e told you there’s a surprise at the top?” Nicholas says.
“Not if it’s a naked man. I’ve seen enough of those in the last twenty-four hours.”
The boys laugh.
“It’s better than that,” Nicholas says.
What could be better than that?
Nicholas sits on the step beside me and takes my face gently in his hands. “It’ll be okay, Sadie. I won’t let you fall, I promise.” The touch of his lips on mine is tender and instantly I know — just like last night — I’m going to do it. I’ll climb that staircase right to the top, even if I have to do it with my eyes closed because I’d follow Nicholas into space if he asked me. I’d go BASE jumping if he asked me. Without a parachute. Okay, well, maybe not that but you get the idea.
I give a feeble nod and we begin the long climb to the top of the stairs.
By the time we make it to the first level, which is still a long way from our goal, we’ve settled into a rhythm. I’m walking closest to the wall and farthest from the stair rail because it opens onto nothing but air. Nicholas is on the side closest to the rail, shielding me and holding my hand while Joel brings up the rear only one stair behind. His hand is on my arse, which is kind of bizarre, but it makes me feel cosseted between them and very safe. I don’t mind that they’re helping me either. In fact, I like that they are. It’s an emotion that’s completely at odds with anything I’ve felt before. Normally, I’m independent and self-sufficient. I like to do everything for myself and take pride in the fact that I can. But the boys bring out something softer in me, a more feminine urge to be protected and nurtured. It’s nice.
“Do you want to stop here for a minute?” Joel asks, pointing to a doorway into a tiny round room built next to the spiral of the staircase.
I poke my head in the door. There’s a long thin rectangular window set into the wall. It has a blind pulled over it so it’s dark, there’s nothing to see apart from something that looks like a desk below the window and an armchair. I’ve no idea why we need to stop. “Let’s keep—”
