‘I Don’t Care?’ Jed says as we walk off together to our first activity. ‘Who chose that name?’
I shrug.
Jed shakes his head and looks back at my new friends. ‘I’ll bet it was that black-haired girl. She looks like she doesn’t care about anything except herself.’
‘Her name’s Miff, and she cares about her friends,’ I tell him.
‘Well, I hope some of that rubs off on you,’ Jed says.
I am about to stomp off when I see that Jed is laughing and holding up his hands in surrender.
‘I’m staying out of everything,’ he says.
I punch him, but it’s a friendly punch.
The first bonding activity at camp is canoeing. Our activity group, and the one that Rochelle and Elfi are in, meet at the swamp. I realise that I’m happy to see them. Maybe being away from school and having fun here at camp will break the ice that’s frozen between us.
‘The first thing you have to do before setting out,’ says Cameron, our camp instructor, ‘is to make sure your canoe is all right.’ He points at a row of orange canoes lined up on the bank of the swamp. Each bunk-buddy pair comes forward and grabs a canoe for themselves.
‘You want to be certain there are no holes, no spiders, no snakes,’ Cameron adds.
Sidney and I scream and almost drop our canoe on the bank. We check for holes and nasty biting things and, once we’re sure there aren’t any, we float the canoe in the shallow water and climb in.
‘Once you’re out there,’ Cameron goes on, ‘stay sitting down in your canoe whatever you do. Standing up is dangerous and we don’t want you causing yourselves any injuries.’
Sidney and I set off across the lake. I’m not very good at paddling and neither is she, so we spend most of our time going around in circles. When we eventually figure out that our paddles need to be on opposite sides from each other, we manage to go in a fairly straight line towards the far shore.
I hear laughter behind me and I swivel my head to see Elfi and Rochelle skimming along on my right. I begin paddling at an angle towards them. ‘Hi,’ I say. ‘You guys seem to have the hang of this.’
Our canoe bumps into theirs.
I laugh.
Without looking at me, Rochelle pushes at our canoe with her paddle and she and Elfi continue on their path across the lake.
Wow, I think. They just totally dissed me. I was only trying to be friendly.
Sidney looks at Rochelle and Elfi’s backs as they paddle away. Then she glances at me. Her face asks the question. My eyes fill with tears. I put my head down and start paddling furiously in the opposite direction. I am not looking where I am going. I wouldn’t be able to see anything anyway.
‘What’s going on, Read It and Weep?’ Sidney asks when I finally rest my paddle. ‘I didn’t think it was you who was meant to do the weeping. And certainly not over anything those two do.’
‘Don’t worry about it,’I tell her, not lifting my head.
‘How can I not worry about it?’ Sidney says. ‘My best buddy is crying.’
I am about to burst into more sobbing because Sidney is being so nice to me, but then she adds, ‘And if she doesn’t stop crying we’ll be going around in circles in the middle of this lake forever.’
I laugh and sniff and wipe my eyes on my t-shirt sleeve. I shouldn’t be sad. One of the popular girls just called me her best buddy. I look at Sidney and smile. ‘Let’s paddle over to Miff and Mandi,’ I say.
Miff and Mandi have been having even less luck with their canoe than we have. They are stuck in some reeds in the far corner of the lake. We paddle up to them and our canoe bumps them further into the reeds.
‘Hey,’ Miff laughs, gripping onto the edge of her canoe. ‘I thought you were here to rescue us, not sink us.’
‘That would be like the blind leading the blind,’ says Sidney. ‘Paige and I are useless, too.’
‘Maybe you could pull us out?’ Miff suggests. ‘I could hold onto your paddle, Paige. Then Sidney could paddle in reverse. Like pulling a car out of the mud.’
‘Okay,’I say. I grasp the scooped end of my paddle and hold the other end out to Miff. Our canoe begins to drift away from Miff and Mandi’s, so I stand up and hold the paddle out. Miff stands up as well and grabs it. Both canoes begin to wobble.
‘Steady,’ calls Mandi.
‘Sit down!’ Sidney shouts.
But it is too late. My canoe wobbles and rocks and then tips. I scream as I fall into the muddy water. When I surface, I see that Sidney, Miff and Mandi have also fallen in the lake. Two empty canoes bob beside us.
I want to sink under the water. Sidney and Miff and Mandi are going to hate me. Capsizing a canoe and getting your friends wet is not cool.
But then Sidney begins to laugh. She wipes her hair off her face and pulls at a reed that is stuck in her fringe. Then she throws it at me.
Miff and Mandi begin to laugh, too. They are not angry. They are not glaring at me. And soon they are also throwing lilies and weeds and pond scum at me and at each other.
‘Right, you four!’ yells Mrs McKenna from the bank. ‘Get out! That’s strike one for each of you!’
Sidney looks at me and smiles.
I smile back at my new best buddy.
The afternoon ends with a bedraggled group of girls heading for the shower block. I have pond scum in my hair, mud all over my feet and my eyeliner has streaked all down my face. I no longer look like the type of girl who can claim her place on the back seat of the bus. But neither does Sidney or Miff or Mandi.
I wash my hair, scrub my face and do the best I can with my grimy feet. When I emerge from the shower, dressed in Felicity’s old tracksuit, Elfi and Rochelle are standing in line, waiting. Sidney and Miff have finished showering as well, and are combing their hair in front of the mirrors.
‘Oh, look,’ Elfi says, nudging Rochelle. ‘It’s Paige Winfrey. We haven’t seen you all year.’
Miff turns around from the mirror. ‘What are you talking about? She was in the same canoeing group as you this afternoon.’
‘That wasn’t Paige,’ Rochelle says. ‘That was some girl wearing too much make-up.’
I’m standing with my back to Sidney and Miff. ‘Guys,’ I whisper to Rochelle and Elfi, ‘please don’t do this.’
‘Well, well, well,’ Elfi says loudly, ignoring my plea. ‘Haven’t things changed? On the Canberra excursion last year, you were always last in the line for the shower and here you are, first.’
‘I suppose you’ve used up all the hot water, too,’ Rochelle adds. ‘Scrubbing off all that make-up.’
My bottom lip quivers as I grit my teeth and stare into the eyes of my two former best friends. Please understand, I want to say. Please stop being mad about what happened. Please just be happy for me.
But I know that’s never going to happen.
And it’s too late to change things now.
23
The Devils are on dinner dish-up duty. At this camp we don’t line up and have our food ladled out by kids behind the counter. Instead we sit at our tables and wait as the Devils wheel around metal trolleys laden with huge pots. I wait with Sidney and the rest of the I Don’t Cares, jiggling my tray and looking at the lumpy mashed pumpkin and beef stew with equal parts scorn and hunger.
When it is my turn to be served, Rochelle digs into the pot, then slings a huge spoonful of orange mash onto my tray. Bits of it flick up onto my face.
I turn my head to look at her. She is not smiling or grinning. She looks embarrassed, so I don’t think she splashed me on purpose.
Sidney looks at me and laughs. She reaches out, wipes the food from my face and flicks it across the table at Miff.
Miff is angry at first, but then she gets a mischievous glint in her eye. ‘Food fight!’ she whispers. She glances over her shoulder then dips her finger in the stew that Elfi has just served her. She flicks a blob of stew at Sidney. Sidney puts her fingers into her dinner and flicks one lump of pumpkin mash at H
olly and one back at Miff. Mia and Mandi begin flicking bits of their dinner at all of us.
I haven’t done anything yet. For a moment I feel like I’m back in the water fight at Juniper Bay Primary School, too scared to have a go. But then Miff flicks some mash at me and it lands on my nose. She laughs.
‘You’re dead!’I tell her. I scoop up a huge handful of mash and hurl it across the table at her.
It misses.
I watch in horror as the orange blob flies across to the next table and hits Laura Dingle in the back.
Everyone stops as Laura wails and runs off to tell a teacher. We frantically try to wipe all evidence of the food fight off our faces, but it is no good. Our shirts and the tablecloth are spattered with mash and stew. And Mrs McKenna is no fool.
‘Strike one for you two,’ she says to Mia and Holly. Then Mrs McKenna glares at me. ‘And that’s strike two for you, Paige Winfrey, and for the rest of your crew!’ She strides off.
I look down at the table, unable to meet the other girls’ eyes. Beside me I feel Sidney’s shoulders begin to shake.
Oh no, I think, I’ve upset her.
But then I sneak a look at her. Sidney is crying but they are not tears of sorrow. They are tears of laughter. She has her lips pressed together and is trying desperately to keep her giggles inside.
‘Oh, Paige,’ she splutters. ‘This is the best camp ever.’
Spin the Bottle.
Like the back seat of the bus, Spin the Bottle is one of those things reserved for the cool kids. The rest of the kids sit around the camp fire, pretending to be doing their own thing, but really they are listening in and watching as my gang gets ready to play. I know. I used to be one of them.
The six girls from our cabin, plus Nick, Jay, Flynn and Liam from our home room sit down in a circle a few metres away from the fire. I am nervous. I’ve never played Spin the Bottle with boys before, except Jed. And our version of the game involved Truth or Dare if the bottle pointed at you. Not kissing.
Sidney spins first. As the bottle, which is really Mandi’s orange drinking flask, begins to slow down, the boys start moving with it, hoping that it will point to one of them. It doesn’t. It points at me. Everybody whoops. My face turns as red as the coals in the fire. I don’t want my first kiss to be from a girl, even if she is the Starshine Girl.
‘Truth or Dare?’ Sidney asks.
I sigh with relief. ‘Truth,’ I blurt out, without thinking.
‘Have you ever kissed a boy?’ Sidney asks. ‘Outside of a game of Spin the Bottle, of course.’
The entire camp site goes quiet. Rochelle and Elfi are staring at me from outside the circle, waiting. The only sound I can hear is my heart thumping.
Before I can answer, Miff cuts in and says, ‘Of course she has. Her sixteen-year-old surfer guy, Jack. The question you should have asked is, “What was it like?”’
Elfi and Rochelle look at each other and roll their eyes. They know I’ve never kissed anyone, never mind a sixteen-year-old. They look away in disgust.
‘Hey, whose turn is this?’ Sidney says to Miff. ‘When it’s yours, you can ask whatever question you like.’
I grab the bottle and spin it wildly, trying to take the attention off myself. It lands on Nick. ‘Truth or Dare?’ I ask him.
Nick shakes his head. ‘I’ll take the kiss, please.’ He puckers up. The other kids squeal in anticipation.
‘Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!’ A chant begins, soon followed by clapping and foot-stamping.
‘Go on,’ Sidney urges. ‘Jack will never find out.’
‘Come on, Paige,’ Nick calls. ‘Don’t make me read it and weep.’
‘Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!’ The chant continues, getting louder. Why did I agree to play this stupid game?
I stand slowly, brushing the dirt off my jeans. The chant changes to an Oo-ooh! noise. I step cautiously across the dark ground, intending to kiss my finger, press it to Nick’s forehead, then scurry back to my place.
Nick grins at me. I raise my finger to my lips and then stretch it out towards him. But I trip on a raised tree root and fall forward. I put one arm out to steady myself, but it is not enough. I headbutt Nick in the face as I fall to the ground.
‘Owww!’ Nick howls.
Suddenly a torch shines down on both of us.
‘Get up, Paige Winfrey,’ Mrs McKenna says. ‘And go and pack your bags.’
24
I will forever be remembered as the girl who got sent home from camp.
‘But it was an accident,’I try to tell Mrs McKenna when she comes back from the office. She has made me sit outside my tent by myself for the last hour. No one has been allowed to come near me, and I’m supposed to have been thinking about what I’ve done. I think this is punishment enough.
‘Just finish packing your bags,’ she says. She stands by the door of my tent with her arms crossed.
The tent is poorly lit and I can barely see my bunk. I grab my sleeping bag and start rolling it up. ‘I didn’t mean to hurt Nick,’ I say. ‘I just fell on him.’
‘During a game of Spin the Bottle,’ Mrs McKenna says accusingly.
‘But I wasn’t going to kiss him.’
Mrs McKenna holds up her hand. ‘Stop! As if capsizing a canoe and having a food fight in the mess hall weren’t enough for one day.’ She sighs and comes over and kneels beside me. She holds the sleeping bag cover while I stuff the bag inside. ‘You knew the rules, Paige: three strikes and you’re out.’
‘But——’
‘No buts.’ Mrs McKenna stands. ‘Get your suitcase.’
I throw everything inside and zip it up. Mrs McKenna takes it from me and strides to the door.
‘Hurry up,’ she barks. ‘Grab your pillow.’ She switches off the light and the tent goes dark. I reach onto my bunk for my pillow and follow her out the door.
‘Please, Mrs McKenna,’ I plead as I stumble after her along the firelit path towards the camp office. ‘Can you give me another chance?’
Mrs McKenna stops and turns around. ‘You had three chances.’ She waves three fingers at me to make the point. On one finger is a large oval opal ring. The colours in the stone swirl and smoke in the firelight.
Claire, the Queen of Clairvoyance’s words whirl into my head. I see danger in the colour orange. Stay away from it. If you encounter it three times in the one day, it will spell great trouble for you.
The canoes were orange. The pumpkin mash was orange. Mandi’s flask was orange.
‘I’m surprised it matters to you, anyway,’ Mrs McKenna continues. ‘Little-Miss-Leader of the I Don’t Cares. Well, let’s see how much you don’t care. You’re a troublemaker. I said that on the first day of school. And I said that I’d be watching you. But for the next three days your parents can watch you.’ She looks beyond me as a pair of headlights snakes its way through the darkness. ‘That will be them now. Stay here by the office.’
She walks off to meet the car. I don’t want to look. Mum will be so ashamed of me. She has enough to worry about. I gaze over to where the kids are gathered around the fire. They are singing and chanting and playing camp-fire games. The teachers are standing in the middle of the circle now, running the show, rather than letting the kids have free time. All thanks to me.
Elfi and Rochelle are sitting at the edge of the group. Even though it’s dark and their faces are in silhouette, I can tell it’s them. They see me standing on the path and turn their backs on me.
Mrs McKenna returns and taps me on the shoulder. ‘You can go now,’ she says. ‘I’ll see you in my office on Friday morning.’
I can see Sidney and Miff on the other side of the camp fire. Miff is piggybacking Sidney and they are racing some other kids around the makeshift track. I raise my hand in farewell but neither of them sees me.
A hand waves from the edge of the circle. Jed’s licorice-coloured hair glows red, but his face is dark. I hope he is smiling, or at least not glaring, but in the darkness I can’t tell. I turn and walk to th
e car.
‘Dad!’
My father is sitting in his car. His fingers are clenched tight on the steering wheel.
‘Paige,’he says. ‘Get in.’I throw my suitcase onto the back seat of the car and then get in the front beside Dad. I sneak a glance at him. My father’s angry and disappointed face glares back.
When we are out of the dark forest and on the highway, Dad asks, ‘What’s going on, Paige?’
‘Nothing’s going on, Dad. It was just all a big misunderstanding.’
‘So you didn’t upend a canoe, have a food fight and play Spin the Bottle?’
‘I … well … technically, yes, but I didn’t mean to do any of it. And I didn’t start any of it.’ I know I sound pathetic, but I have no other defence.
‘You’ve never been in trouble at school before. This isn’t like you.’
‘Well, maybe camping is not for me. Or maybe being unreliable and quitting before things are over runs in the family.’
‘You know how sorry I am about leaving you, Paige.’
‘But it’s not fair, Dad.’
‘No, it’s not fair, Paige.’ Dad glances in the rear-view mirror and then flicks on his indicator before moving into the inside lane to overtake a truck.
‘I realise this separation has been hard on you,’ he continues. ‘But you can’t take out your frustrations on your teachers and the other kids at school. This is not who you are. You’re a smart kid. You’re a thoughtful kid. And you’re a good kid. You’re not a troublemaker.’
I stare out the window at the ghostly trees flicking past. ‘I don’t know who I am any more,’ I whisper in the darkness.
25
When I walk into school on Friday, after three days of excruciatingly boring bedroom detention, household chores and lectures from Mum, kids stop and point and talk about me behind their hands. They know who I am. They know what I’ve done. And they wonder what I might do next.
I am a legend. Part of me likes it. But another part of me doesn’t like it. The part of me that loves my mum and my dad doesn’t like it. They are both so disappointed in me, and I hate the way it feels. But Paige-at-home and Paige-at-school feel like two different people these days, and I don’t know how to bring them together.
Give Me Four Reasons Page 14
