Stunned, I blinked a few times. “Oh,” was all I could muster.
“She’s lying,” he muttered through gritted teeth, glaring at his kid sister the way any big brother would. “I don’t want to hold you up for your appointment. When you’re done, you want to come to my office, so we can talk?”
“Sure,” I said, ushering AJ with my hand around the back of his head. “It was nice meeting you, Lucy.”
“Likewise.” She smiled, and the two returned to their serious conversation.
We entered the room and the nurse closed the door behind her. “Sorry about that,” I apologized.
“It’s fine, really.” She opened the folder and glanced over at AJ. “Let’s take some measurements, shall we?”
* * *
Following AJ’s check-up, he and I walked down the hallway heading toward the receptionist when my gaze landed on a nameplate with Luke Dixon MD on the wall outside an office. The door was open, and when I peered inside, his eyes were on his computer.
Gently I tapped on the wooden door. “You wanted to see us?”
“Yes.” He stood and pointed to the chairs in front of his desk.
“So, AJ, how was Dr. Griffin?”
“Good.” He shrugged. “I didn’t have to get a shot today, so that was a plus. But I have to come back right before school starts for a vaccination.”
“Well, if you continue to eat all your vegetables and wash your hands you won’t get sick.”
“I guess.” AJ shrugged again. The poor kid hated that I nagged him to eat his vegetables.
“Thank you for the recommendation.” I gave Luke a kind smile.
“Of course. If you two need anything else, please let me know.”
After a few seconds of awkward silence, I stood, and AJ said good-bye before heading toward the door. Luke extended his hand, and the touch of his skin on mine made my heart speed up. “I’m waiting for a phone call,” he whispered.
My face burned as the blood rushed to my cheeks. “I know,” I said, unable to pull my hand away. “Soon. I promise.” Luke released my hand and I lifted my purse strap so the tingling on my skin would stop.
“I’ll be waiting.”
* * *
Later that evening, while AJ was sound asleep in his bedroom, I sat in the living room watching TV. I’d caught the tail end of a reality show about a single woman looking for love among twenty men who all constantly tried to woo her with their charm. I stopped looking through channels and watched the last few minutes. I couldn’t wrap my mind around dating one man, let alone fathom what it would be like to choose between twenty.
The beautiful blonde, a preschool teacher, was unsure of her decision and whom she should give the last rose to. Though it was supposed to be reality TV—something that completely pushed any normal thinking out of my mind—it struck a nerve with me. I wasn’t a twenty-year-old dating someone for the first time. I was a mother, in my thirties, and there were certain things I wanted out of a relationship. There was no point in seeing where things would take us if, at the end, I didn’t get a rose.
When I started dating Bruce, it was innocent and new. I tried to be the person he wanted before showing him my true colors. I brushed off things that bothered me about him and focused on being what he needed instead of looking for what I wanted.
I sure as hell did not want to go through that again. I didn’t have time to put up a façade, to stroke someone else’s ego. I also wasn’t looking for a marriage commitment. That idea had been tossed out the window years ago. But since dating was now back in the picture, if I was going to do this, I would do it the right way. My way. With no bullshit, and no fear of never being good enough to receive a rose.
Taking my phone off the coffee table, I texted Luke. It was a bizarre and new experience for me—texting someone. The only people on my call log were my parents, Leslie, and Laura. It was pathetic but true.
Me: I hate when people are late.
Within seconds, the three little dots began to dance on my screen. Before he could reply, I spat out another honest truth, my fingers tapping away at lightning speed.
Me: If you plan on ever lying to me, don’t waste my time.
Me: I tell people I’m allergic to cilantro but it’s because I hate the taste.
Me: I love the beach, but I’m petrified of the water.
Me: I hate pets. They die, and then you’re left heartbroken because your best friend is gone.
Me: I hate when people chew with their mouth open.
Me: Don’t ever order food for me.
Me: I don’t like to be told what to do. I’m very stubborn, so I’m warning you.
Luke: Ok. Care to share why you’re telling me all this?
I gnawed on my lower lip as I contemplated what to reply.
Me: Because this is my honest, ugly truth. There are things people try to hide when they first start dating, but then you discover these things later on. This way you can’t say I never told you.
Luke: Cilantro is a no?
Me: In the event you wanted to take me to a Mexican restaurant.
Luke: Beach?
Me: I don’t know if your idea of a perfect first date means surfing and snorkeling.
Luke: LOL.
Luke: All noted. Do you want to tell me why you decided to tell me all of this now?
Me: If there is no rose at the end, then what’s the point?
Luke: I swear I was following along, but you completely lost me at the rose.
Me: LOL. Apparently, I don’t do adult texting either.
Luke: Ha-ha.
Me: I haven’t been on a date since I was twenty-two. And though I loved my husband, there were a few things I overlooked because I wanted to be the perfect girlfriend. It’s been well over ten years, and this time around I really don’t want to sugarcoat it. I feel too old for that bullshit.
Luke: I don’t find women who wear an obscene amount of makeup attractive.
Luke: I will never date a smoker.
Luke: I work long hours and my job demands a lot from me. Therefore, I’m not always available.
Luke: I think that’s it.
Me: Doable.
Me: I don’t have time to do my hair most days, let alone put on makeup.
Luke: You don’t need makeup. You’re beautiful just the way you are.
I couldn’t stop the grin that grew across my face as I read his last message . . . six times.
Me: AJ has another game this Saturday. Same field as last time if you want to come by and watch.
Luke: Are you inviting me as the sponsor or a date?
Me: AJ likes when you’re around, and I wouldn’t mind seeing you again.
Luke: Can I take you both out for ice cream after?
Me: We’ll see.
Luke: Then we’ll see if I show up.
* * *
Most of the time, I threw my hair up in a messy bun, slipped on yoga pants, and pulled out whichever T-shirt was in my dresser. But knowing there was a possibility that Luke would be there, I took it up a notch when I got ready Saturday morning. I put on a touch of makeup to hide the dark circles under my eyes, and paired my white tank top with jean shorts, finishing the look with my signature white converse.
I laughed as I gave myself another look in the mirror.
Oh, what dating does to a person.
I went from not giving a crap what anybody thought to wanting to impress a man, to wanting to be seen. It actually made me feel good about myself. It gave me something to look forward to.
During the dark two years—as one of my therapists called them—I constantly cried for Bruce’s attention. I wanted to be wanted. The only thing I needed from him was to be seen. I learned that my love language was words of affirmation and physical touch, whereas Bruce’s was possibly acts of service. Had we gone to therapy, maybe things would have been different.
Pushing all thoughts of what my life had been out of my mind, I gathered AJ’s Baseball gear and tossed it in the car. Wit
hin a few miles, we were pulling into the park. AJ bolted out of the car and ran to join his team on the field as they stretched and did practice drills. I spotted Laura, who was sitting on the bleachers, and she waved at me to join her.
“Hey, sugar,” she said as I sat down. “You look nice.”
“Thanks.” I brushed my sweaty palms down my thighs.
“You okay?” She lowered her sunglasses to watch me tentatively. “You seem . . . nervous.”
“I’m fine.” I nodded and kept my gaze on the field. “We were running a bit behind, so I’m a little flustered.”
“Sure.” Laura pouted her lips and pushed her glasses back on her face. A wide smile grew on her face. “It’s funny how you say you’re flustered because you were running late, yet the game doesn’t start for another twenty minutes.”
“AJ likes to come early.” I exhaled a trapped breath that was lodged in my throat.
“Or you knew the hot doc was coming.” She cocked her head to the side. Turning, I spotted Luke heading our way.
“Fine.” I turned back to her and lowered my voice. “I’m nervous because he’s coming. Please don’t say anything. Please. I have no idea how to act around him.” I pressed my hands together, pleading with her.
Laura pinched her fingers and ran them across her lips as though zipping them shut. Luke climbed the bleachers and smiled when he spotted me. “Good morning,” he said and leaned in to kiss me on the cheek. Caught off guard, I was enveloped with his scent. He smelled like fresh soap with a hint of mint. My cheek burned when he pulled away.
“Morning,” I said weakly.
“Morning, Laura,” Luke said as he sat next to me. Laura, who was sitting in a row lower than us, lifted her hand and waved. Luke leaned in and whispered in my ear, “Is she okay?”
“Peachy.” I smiled.
“I brought you something.” He handed me a white paper bag. “Since you seemed to like them so much.” I unfolded the bag and my eyes were met with an oversized muffin from Java Brew. “This does not equate me ordering for you.”
“Absolutely not.” I shook my head as my mouth watered for a taste. “These muffins are laced with crack. You can get them for me anytime.” I reached inside the bag and pulled out the muffin. “Laura, you have to try a piece,” I said, handing her some. She didn’t pull her eyes from the field but extended her hand back. I bit in a laugh and gave her a chunk.
Luke and I shared the remainder of the muffin as the boys finished warming up. I watched him from the corner of my eye as he licked his fingers before reaching into the bag to grab another bite. In most cases this would be disgusting, but I knew what the muffin tasted like, and as much as I fought against it, I kept wondering what Luke’s lips tasted like.
Before the game started, AJ looked up at the bleachers and spotted Luke. His smile tripled in size and he waved his glove up at us.
“He really likes you,” I said. There was a pinch in my chest as I saw my son’s eyes light up.
“I really like him, too,” Luke agreed. “And I really, really, really like his mother.”
Laura coughed, and I felt my face burning. Luke and I sat side by side as we watched the boys play, his arm so close to mine that I felt heat radiating off his skin. A forbidden feeling ran though me. I wanted to touch him, to feel the electric shock run through me.
Halfway through the game, his hand shifted slightly and brushed against mine. His effect on me was growing by the minute. At the bottom of the sixth inning, his hand shifted again, and his pinky rested on top of mine. It was such a small, simple touch, but it had my heart pounding in my chest.
“Too far?” he said, not pulling his gaze away from the game.
A small smile grew on my face. “Not at all,” I whispered.
I wanted more.
* * *
We waited for AJ by the fence as the coaches held a quick pep talk after the game, but AJ’s attention was on Luke and me. He was itching to come talk to Luke; I could see it in his eyes. He had played awesome, catching a ground ball and getting a base hit. Once the huddle broke, he sprinted toward us.
“Did you see how I caught the ball? Did you?” His eyes were wide and bright as he spoke to Luke. “I did what you said, Dr. Dixon. I practiced, and I gave it my best.”
“AJ, sweetie, take a breath or you’ll pass out.” I ran my hand through his shaggy, sweaty hair.
“It was the best game ever.” He threw his glove in the air and caught it. “Mr. Hendricks pitched the ball right to me and I kept my eyes on it. I hit the ball!” He looked up at me. “I hit it so far. Did you see, Mom? Did you?” Luke chuckled.
“I swear, he’s had no caffeine,” I said to Luke before looking over at AJ. “I did see. And since you played so well, Dr. Dixon is going to take you out for ice cream. How does that sound?”
“This day is totally awesome!”
“How about you call me Luke, though,” Luke added. “We can leave the doctor title for when you’re in the office.” AJ nodded and gave him a thumbs up.
“Let me say bye to Laura,” I said as she and Scott were walking to their car. “I’ll be right back.”
I jogged over to Laura just as she was putting Scott’s bat and bag in the trunk. “Hey, wait up.” She pursed her lips together, indicating that she still wasn’t speaking. “Laura.” I slouched. “Are you mad at me?” She puckered her lips as though it was impossible to open them. “Come on, please. This is nerve-wracking as it is. I can’t have you upset with me.”
She cracked a smile and held her trunk open. “I’m only messing with you, sugar.”
I sighed in relief. “Oh, thank God.” I brushed my hair away from my face. “This is all new territory for me, and it’s so different than before.”
“Honestly, Steph.” She placed a hand on my shoulder. “I think you’re doing great, and I truly believe he likes you.”
“I don’t know how to act around him. I’m always afraid I’ll say something stupid and make an ass out of myself.”
Laura giggled and closed the trunk of her car. “That’s dating, babe. It’s supposed to fill your belly with butterflies and your head with unicorn dust. You deserve this.”
I pressed both hands to my heart. “Why does it feel like I’m going to throw up?”
“The butterflies are high off the dust,” she joked. “But seriously, enjoy this and just be yourself. He’d be a fool not to fall for you.”
“Thanks, Laura,” I said before heading back to where Luke and AJ stood.
“Steph!” she shouted after me.
“Yeah?” I stopped midway and looked back.
“You owe me one of those damn muffins for asking me to keep quiet.”
I laughed. “You got it, babe.”
Luke watched me as I walked over. The grin that grew slightly on his defined cheeks had my head fuzzy. “Ready?” he asked.
“Yeah.” I wrapped my arm around AJ’s shoulder. I needed something to keep me grounded.
Deciding to leave the cars at the park, we walked to the center of town. AJ walked between us as he told Luke about all the adventures we’d been on. Luke shared his experience with the Cub Scouts and how he spent most of his summers fishing and camping when he was a kid. AJ immediately turned to me and asked if he could join.
“He’d love it,” Luke added.
“I’ll make a call and we’ll go check one out,” I told AJ as we approached the ice cream store.
Vanilla Beanery was known for their heavy cream-enriched homemade ice cream. The air was crisp inside, and the décor was designed to resemble an old-school ice cream parlor. The floors were checkered with black and white tiles. The stools were metallic with hot pink seats, and the walls were painted a light olive green. You felt like you were walking back in time when you stepped inside. All that was missing was a pink Cadillac parked outside.
“What’s your poison?” Luke asked as we approached the coolers that held buckets of flavors.
“I’m pretty boring,” I admi
tted. “I’m a sucker for vanilla bean ice cream in a waffle cone.”
“Really?” He cocked his head to the side.
“You can’t mess up a classic,” I said, defending my choice.
“I would’ve pegged you for a rocky road kind of girl, or maybe something with peanut butter.”
“I love peanut butter,” AJ added.
“That’s all him.” I laughed.
We were greeted by the owner and he took my bland order along with Luke’s—two scoops of mint chocolate chip in a cup. “And for the little fellow?” the man asked.
“May I please have a chocolate peanut butter milkshake?” he said, standing on his tippy toes.
“Yes, you may,” the owner replied.
From the corner of my eye, I caught Luke’s gaze on my face. “Don’t,” I said.
“What?” He threw his hands up to show that he was innocent.
“You can’t judge me as a parent. I know he hasn’t had lunch yet, and yes, I’m totally okay with him having ice cream at eleven in the morning.”
Luke chuckled and grabbed our ice creams. “First, I would never question your parenting skills. Second, when I was his age, I would have killed to have a mom as cool as you.”
I took my cone from him and whispered, “Then, why are you staring?”
Luke took a big bite of his ice cream, and the mint green coated his lips. “Because you’re nice to look at,” he whispered. “Plus,” he said as he passed me. “I’m imagining what it will be like to kiss you.”
“Here you go,” the owner said, handing AJ his milkshake.
I should have cared that my son was about to devour a milkshake the size of his head, but I was frozen in place, my face burning from Luke’s comment. He wanted to kiss me. And now, more than anything, I was desperate to feel his lips on mine.
“What are your plans for later today?” Luke asked as we headed out of the ice cream parlor and back to the park.
The Perfect Life Page 7
