by Willa Blair
A nearby car horn jolted her out of her reverie, and she looked around in confusion for a moment before remembering where she was.
Abby tucked the pendant under her dress and pulled back onto the road, wanting to get to Nairn before she changed her mind.
****
After returning from MacNab’s, Ian returned home and told his parents and brother about seeing Abby. His family had been just as confused as Ian when Abby stopped talking to him, had felt her loss almost as keenly as he had. They were horrified to hear about her parents—his mother burst into tears at the news and had to leave the room. Still shaken up about it himself, Ian joined his father and brother in the stable to help get the horses settled in before dinner. Willie, the Border collie, jumped up from where he’d been dozing in the corner and barked once before trotting out the door.
Ian finished scooping grain into a bucket and handed it to his brother. “Robbie, I’m going to bring some apples to Jack. I’ll see you at the house.”
He rounded the corner of the barn and stopped dead in his tracks, juggling the apples that nearly spilled from his hands.
His horse, Blackjack, was standing by the pasture fence. He wasn’t alone. Abby was standing on the fence rail, her arms around the sleek black neck, her face buried in the long mane. Willie stood by her feet, frantically wagging his tail.
Ian walked forward as if in a trance. Was she really there, or was she a figment of his imagination, conjured by his overtired brain? He approached slowly, not wanting to startle the horse or the woman. Jack nickered softly as he drew near and Abby turned toward him, stepping down from the rail.
Color rose in her cheeks and she averted her eyes. “I should have called. I…”
“Abby,” he interrupted, wanting to cut her off before she went any further, “I’m so glad you’re here.”
She looked up at him, an uncertain expression on her face. He hated this awkwardness between them, hated that she would think for one second that she might be unwelcome in his house, no matter what had happened in the past.
He took a moment to study her. She’d changed into a flowery sundress that swished around her legs. Her face had lost some of its pallor; her cheeks and nose were slightly pink from the sun. And although her eyes weren’t exactly sparkling, there was life in them now that hadn’t been there before. Her hair rippled over her shoulders, wavy from its braid. Some small bits of hair had come loose from her barrette, the short wisps framing her face.
She’d never looked lovelier.
They stood there, staring at each other, neither knowing what to say. Jack broke the silence by gently butting Abby with his great head. She let out a surprised giggle, and the sound was music to Ian’s ears.
As she scratched behind Jack’s velvety ears, Ian closed his eyes, remembering the countless times he and Abby had gone riding together on the stallion. Sometimes she’d sat behind him, her arms wrapped tightly around his waist, laughing in his ear as they’d flown across the meadow. Other times, he’d held her before him, her lithe body cradled between his thighs. Even now, his body grew warm as he remembered the feel of her body against his, moving with the rhythm of the horse.
“He missed you.” But not as much as I did.
“I missed him, too.” She accepted an apple from Ian’s hand and fed it to the horse.
Now that he was no longer gazing into her stormy eyes, he found his voice. “What changed your mind?” He mentally cursed himself for asking, hoping he hadn’t said the wrong thing.
“I just couldn’t bear the thought of sitting alone in the hotel tonight, after everything.”
He touched her hand. “You’re never alone here, Abby. No matter what’s between us, you’re always welcome in this house.” She looked so vulnerable, so lonely. He wanted to pull her into his arms and never let go. He wanted to carry her off to someplace private where he could finally find out why she stopped talking to him four years before. Baby steps, Ian. Don’t scare her off. She came to you, just as MacNab said. Maybe there’s still hope.
He cleared his throat. “You’re just in time for dinner. Come on, I know everyone will be glad to see you. In fact, they’re probably all huddled around the door right now, waiting for me to bring you inside.”
Robbie and his father had come out of the barn a few minutes before. They’d stared incredulously at the two of them before they’d gone inside. He was rewarded with a smile from her—a shadow of the carefree grin that had always been on her face back then, but a smile nonetheless.
****
Abby followed Ian into the living room. “I’ll be right back, Abby. Make yourself comfortable.” He gently squeezed her arm and left her in a room filled with memories.
She stood in the doorway, taking everything in. She’d always loved the Mackenzie house, with its lovingly tended gardens and its comfortable, lived-in feel. The living room was bright with the late-day sun shining in through the white curtains. Laura Mackenzie’s knitted afghans lay folded over the backs of the three sofas, inviting one to curl up for a nap on a rainy day. Cinnamon-scented potpourri sat in a glass dish on the coffee table, its subtle aroma wafting throughout the room.
There were framed family photographs scattered over nearly every flat surface in the room—including, she discovered with a pang in her heart, some of herself and Ian, their arms wrapped around each other, beaming smiles on their faces.
Without more than a cursory glance at the photos, she could pinpoint the exact location of each, could remember exactly what they’d done that day. Why were those pictures still out? Surely whoever he’d been with after her wouldn’t have been pleased to see them. Another thought occurred to her, an idea too ridiculous to even be considered. After all, it had been four years…
“Abby, it’s good to see you, lass.” The deep voice startled her from her reverie.
She turned to see Ian’s father, Duncan. Like his son, Duncan was over six feet tall and powerfully built. He had dark wavy hair flecked with silver and Ian’s green eyes. He smiled warmly at her, the crow’s feet at the corners of his eyes standing out against his tanned skin.
She remembered the first time she’d laid eyes on his handsome face, which looked just as she imagined Ian would look in twenty-five years. At that first meeting, he’d approached her with a friendly smile. Then the smile had frozen on his face and he’d stared at her for so long, she’d begun to feel unnerved by the intensity of his piercing eyes. Finally, he’d shaken his head and blinked, freeing her from that mesmerizing gaze, and extended his hand to her. To this day, she didn’t know what had caused that reaction in him.
He held out his arms, and she went to him without hesitation. She breathed in the subtle scent of Old Spice, and swallowed hard. Her father had always worn that cologne, no matter how many other ones she’d bought him for Father’s Day. He’d liked his old favorites and saw no need to fix what wasn’t broken.
Oh, how she missed him! What made her think she could handle being around Ian’s family without breaking down?
Duncan held her to him for a moment and then pulled back to look at her, his eyes full of compassion. “Ian told us about your parents, Abby. I cannot even begin to tell you how sorry I am—how sorry we all are. They were lovely people, and Laura and I have often spoken of their visit here. If there’s anything we can do, please don’t hesitate to ask.”
Abby blinked back the rush of tears at his kind words. “Thank you, Duncan. It means a lot to hear you say that.”
“Where’s my hug?” boomed a voice behind her, and without any other warning, Abby was plucked out of Duncan’s arms and crushed against what felt like a brick wall. She looked up at a face that was nearly identical to Ian’s, but for the auburn hair.
“Hey, Robbie,” she gasped. How could she have forgotten Robbie’s bear hugs? He loosened his hold on her and kissed her cheek before stepping back. He tucked a wayward strand of hair behind her ear and gazed down at her, unsmiling.
“I’m so sorry, Abby. I hope
that spending some time with us tonight will take your mind off your pain, even if it’s only for a wee while.”
It was all she could do not to gape. She had never before seen the serious side of Ian’s older brother. He always had a wiseass reply to anything anyone said, and the only time she hadn’t seen him smile was when he was eating, and even then, he was usually smiling around a mouthful of food.
She managed a smile and murmured something unintelligible before turning away and blinking back tears. It was all in vain, however, when she found herself face to face with Laura Mackenzie.
Laura had always reminded her of her own mother. Not so much in looks—Abby’s mother had the same honey-colored locks and blue-gray eyes as her daughter, while Laura had auburn hair and sky blue eyes—but they were so much alike in their temperament and their love of their husbands and children. The very first time Ian had brought Abby to meet his parents, Laura had welcomed her as though she was her long-lost daughter.
Her blue eyes welling with tears, Laura wordlessly opened her arms. As Abby fell into them, it occurred to her that maybe coming here wasn’t a bad idea at all.
****
Dinner was better than Abby had anticipated. She hadn’t had a home-cooked meal in so long that she nearly cried at her first bite of Laura’s roasted chicken. After their initial expressions of sympathy, Ian’s family did not bring up the subject again.
“So, Abby, what have you been up to? Are you still livin’ in New York?” Ian asked casually, refilling her wine glass.
“Yes. I finished my degree in Literature and got a job working as an editor at a publishing company in the city.”
“That sounds like the perfect job for you, dear. I remember how much you loved to read,” said Laura.
“It is a wonderful job. I love working with the authors and seeing the books through from the first drafts to the finished product. Still, it’s nice to finally take some time for myself. I needed to get away for awhile. Hopefully all will be quiet while I’m gone.”
“How’s Adam?” Robbie chimed in. “Is he still in with the police?”
“Yes. He recently made detective, so he’s been working crazy hours. I haven’t seen him much, although we had dinner last night before I flew out of New York.” She laughed humorlessly. “He deals with things by throwing himself into his work, while I took time off. Shows how different we are.”
“It takes time, lass,” said Duncan, laying a gentle hand on her arm. “At first, your heart is broken, and it’s all you can think about. Then as time goes by, the days get a little easier to bear, and though the grief is still there, it’s manageable. Before long, you’ll get back to your life, and though you’ll always have moments when something reminds you of your parents, those moments will eventually bring a smile, not tears.”
Everyone stared at Duncan as though stunned by his impassioned and insightful speech. “Thank you, Duncan,” whispered Abby. “That really helped a lot. Adam and I went for grief counseling for a few weeks, and they told us that, but coming from a professional, it just sounds like their standard line. Hearing it from you makes me truly believe it. I’m glad I came here tonight.”
Robbie brought up the latest political scandal in the United States, and the conversation quickly changed tone after that. But although the conversation was innocuous, Abby was unsettled by her close proximity to Ian. Every time their eyes met across the table, something sizzled between them. She was so confused. Everything he’d said and done since that afternoon indicated he still cared about her.
But as much as the sight of him made her heart skip a beat, as much as the simple touch of his hand on her arm made her whole body come alive again, as much as seeing him had released her from the utter despair she’d been dwelling in for months, she didn’t know what she wanted from him.
What had she hoped to accomplish by coming here tonight? Was it really just to see his family, to spend the evening with friendly faces? Or was she hoping, deep down inside, for something more? Her body wanted him—oh God, how she wanted him!—but she knew she would never survive another heartbreak.
Abby looked at her watch, surprised to see how late it was. “I really need to get going. But thank you so much for this. It was so wonderful to be here, to see all of you again. I’m sorry I didn’t get to see Fiona.” Ian’s younger sister was living in Glasgow now. It was hard to believe that she was out of college.
“Why don’t you stay overnight, dear?” asked Laura. “You can have Fiona’s room. I would feel better knowing you’re not driving back to the city in the dark. Besides, you must be exhausted from traveling.”
She was beyond exhausted—physically and emotionally—but the thought of spending the night in Ian’s sister’s bedroom, with Ian sleeping in the next room, was disconcerting.
“I…don’t know. I mean, I don’t want to inconvenience anyone. Inverness isn’t that far from here. I don’t have anything with me to change into.”
Ian touched her hand. “Abby, it’s no inconvenience. You can borrow something to wear, and we have an extra toothbrush. You’ve had a really long day. Please stay. It’ll give us a chance to talk.”
Abby opened her mouth with the intention of politely refusing and telling Ian she’d call him in a few days. But what came out was, “If you really don’t mind, then I’d like to stay. I really wasn’t looking forward to driving back to the city tonight.”
Ian looked just as surprised by her answer as she felt. Then he smiled, the corners of his mouth turning up in that slow, sexy smile that set hearts aflutter all over the world.
He persuaded her to go for a walk with him. They walked behind the stables to a path that seemed to fall away into utter darkness. The first time he’d brought her out here, she’d balked like a frightened horse.
“Ian, we’re not really going down there in the dark, are we? I can’t see anything.”
“It’s worth it, I promise you. Trust me, lass. I’ve been walking this path since I was a lad, in the brightest sunlight and the blackest darkness. I won’t let you fall. In fact, close your eyes.”
“What? No! Are you crazy?”
“If you have your eyes open, you’ll be trying to see, and you can’t. It’ll be worse than if you just let me lead you along with your eyes shut. I promise that you’ll be fine. Trust me,” he whispered.
If she didn’t know better, she’d swear he was mesmerizing her with his eyes and his voice. She sighed and closed her eyes. He took her arm and led her down the trail, occasionally instructing her on how and where to step. Not once did she trip or stumble, and before long they stopped and he told her to open her eyes. She was able to make out a huge boulder beside her.
“How did you know to do that? I really wasn’t afraid at all.”
“It’s from working with horses. If you cover the eyes of a spooked horse, it calms them down. They seem to be less afraid when they can’t see and aren’t trying to. Come, climb up here and lie down on your back. Don’t worry, I won’t ravish you,” he added, and she could hear the smile in his voice.
He hadn’t; at least not that night. But tonight, as they walked unerringly down the path and climbed up to lay on their backs on the boulder’s flat surface, she was reminded of the times he had ravished her on the star-watching rock late at night under the black velvet sky.
Trying to put those thoughts out of her mind, she gazed up at the glittering sky, spotting constellations Ian had often pointed out to her, horrified that she only knew Orion and The Big Dipper. There was Pegasus, the Great Winged Horse, just at the horizon, and another great winged creature, Draco the Dragon, hovering high above, not far from the mighty warrior Hercules. After breaking up with Ian, she’d spent months looking at those constellations and weeping. Then she’d simply stopped looking, not wanting to be reminded of him.
“I forgot how beautiful the sky looks out here, away from the city lights,” she whispered.
“I know. I always come out here the first night I get home after I’
ve been traveling. But it’s never been the same without you here. A lot of things haven’t been the same. Abby, will you go riding with me tomorrow? Down by the loch, like we used to?”
She should say no. She shouldn’t let herself get too comfortable with Ian. That wasn’t why she had come to Scotland. Well, then, why did you come here? Because this was the only place I could think of to find some semblance of peace, that’s why! So you came here to stare at Loch Ness for awhile. Well, you did that today. Now what? What will you do for the rest of the time you’re here? And exactly how long were you planning to stay, by the way?
“Abby?” Ian’s voice interrupted the argument she was having with herself.
“What? I’m sorry, I guess I zoned out for a second.”
“I asked if you wanted to go riding by the loch tomorrow. Fiona left some of her riding clothes here, and I know she wouldn’t mind you borrowing them.”
Oh, right. The question that had started the internal argument. “All right. But then I have to get back to Inverness. I have…things to do there,” she lied. But she needed time to think, and she couldn’t think when she was with him.
They agreed to go after breakfast and headed back to the house. He gave her a clean toothbrush and an oversized t-shirt to sleep in and escorted her to his sister’s room. He reached out, tracing his fingers over her cheek, brushing a wayward strand of hair behind her ear. “Goodnight, Abby,” he murmured, his voice husky. “I’m glad you’re here.” Without waiting for her reply, he stepped out of the room, pulling the door shut behind him.
CHAPTER 3
She stood on the shore of the loch, watching the sunlight filter through the ramparts of the castle across the water.
She heard hoofbeats behind her and turned, smiling in anticipation at the tall man riding up on his black stallion. He swung his leg over the horse’s withers and dropped nimbly to the ground, striding toward her, his green eyes glittering with desire.
She opened her mouth to greet him, but her words were lost as he dragged her up against his hard body and kissed her passionately.
