by Li Yu
"Yesterday you were so kind as to promise your sisters to me," he said. "I wonder when I'll be allowed to meet them?"
"It won't be long now. In three or four days I shall have to go over and explain matters, after which I'll take you to meet them. There's just one thing I should mention, though. Once I'm over there, I shan't be coming back here again. We'll not be making love in this bed anymore."
Vesperus was astonished. "Why is that? No sooner do I move in than you move out to avoid me!"
"There's a perfectly good reason for it. If I'm over there, you can come and see me anytime, and while visiting me you can visit them too. Two birds with one stone! You've nothing to worry about."
"I simply don't understand a word you're saying. Kindly explain."
"Well, my husband, as you know, is a tutor in their husbands' family, and both men are students of his. Their writing is poor, and they're afraid of the triennial examination they will have to face as licentiates, so they've bought places in the Academy, and are about to set off for the capital. Since they can't get along without their teacher, my husband has to go too. He's worried that I'll have no one to look after me while he's away and wants me to live with their families. I shall need to move within the next few days. That's why I won't be back again. We'll just have to meet over there."
At this news Vesperus's joy was redoubled. It was as if the Heavenly powers had put themselves out to please him, sending the three husbands off on a journey and bringing their three wives together in one place where he could indulge his every erotic desire with complete license.
In a few days, as Cloud had said, the teacher and his students departed, and she at once moved into the other house.
Her move came at the height of her affair with Vesperus, and she could not bear to be parted from him for long. She knew that somehow she would have to reveal her secret if she was to get her sisters' agreement to bring him over for sex. Her motivation was seventy percent self-interest, thirty percent altruism.
"Have you ever been back to the temple to burn incense?" she asked, after exchanging a few pleasantries with her sisters.
"No, we went there only once," said Lucky Jade. "Why would we want to burn incense all the time?"
"With such a handsome man kowtowing to you, a visit every few days would hardly be too much."
"We'd like to, but we have no fans to give him, and we wouldn't want to go empty-handed."
"Stop making fun of me, sister," said Cloud. "I got nothing in return for my fan, I know that. And although you may have gotten a few bows, I never saw any sign of him following you home. All he likes to do is perform a few meaningless kowtows and get you to fall in love with him."
"You never spoke a truer word," said Lucky Jade. "We were just talking about that incident, and there's one thing we still don't understand. Why did he fade away like that after such a brave beginning? From the crazy way he carried on, you got the impression he couldn't wait until the next day but would come over that very night. We waited and waited, but there was no sign of him. If he's so heartless, why did he bother to kowtow in the first place?"
"I've heard that he spends all his time longing for you, but is frustrated because he doesn't know where to find you."
"It may not be the two of us he's longing for. I suspect he's lovesick from looking at the fan and thinking of the one who gave it to him."
"He did feel lovesick over the fan, it's true. But fortunately the sickness was not deep-rooted and has yielded to treatment, and the account has now been settled. But as for his lovesickness over the kowtowing, that is a very serious matter indeed, and will take time to cure. If he dies of it, I'm afraid you two may have to answer with your lives."
This remark struck Lucky Pearl and Lucky Jade as highly suspicious, and they peered closely at Cloud to observe her expression. She did seem to have a supercilious air about her as she talked and laughed.
"You're looking so smug," they said in unison. "Don't say you caught him and settled accounts for the fan?"
"You're not far wrong. And I did it behind your backs."
At this the sisters resembled nothing so much as two failed candidates for the provincial examinations meeting a newly successful one-a mixture of humiliation and envy.
"Well, congratulations!" they said, forcing smiles to their faces. "You've given us a new brother-in-law to be proud of! But when do we celebrate?"
This last remark carried three distinct implications: jealousy, ridicule, and the suspicion that Cloud might not have caught him, after all, but be indulging in a little leg-pulling at their expense. If so, they thought, she would surely be disconcerted when they challenged her claim.
But Cloud was not in the least abashed; if anything, she was more smug than ever. "You may not have celebrated yet, but there will certainly be a wedding reception," she said. "One day I'll give a party and invite you both."
"In that case," said Lucky Jade, "where is our new brother-in-law? Would you permit us to see him?"
Cloud prevaricated. "You've already seen him once. You've even been kowtowed to! Why do you need to see him again?"
"He was a total stranger then, and although he did kowtow to us, we weren't able to respond. But now that he's related to us, why shouldn't we see him again? Let us return his bows, address him as brother-in-law, and show him a little affection, for your sake."
"There's no problem in meeting him," said Cloud. "I'll have him over any time it suits you. What worries me, though, is that when he sees you, he may go crazy the way he did before and offend you both with his bad behavior. For that reason it might be best if you didn't meet."
"On that occasion he had no one to keep him in check," replied Lucky Jade, "so he went wild. But now that he has a jealous woman like you in front of him, he won't dare let himself go."
Lucky Pearl turned to her sister. "You're wasting your breath," she said. "She can't bear to have anyone else meet her beloved. When we took our vow of sisterhood, although she promised to share and share alike, she doesn't keep her promises. She'll share her bad luck, yes, but not her good luck. You'll be doing well if you can get her not to act jealous and keep raking up that kowtowing business. It's no use hoping for anything more."
Cloud could see they were upset, so she dropped her bantering tone and became serious. "Now don't get upset. I'm not like that at all. If I'd wanted to keep him to myself, I could have stayed home and enjoyed myself day and night instead of moving in with you. Why move house just to get jealous? The very fact that I told you about him shows my good intentions. Provided we can arrive at some fair and impartial arrangement, so that we remain on good terms after the introduction, I'll bring him over to meet you."
"If you're willing to do that," said Lucky Jade, "it would really give some meaning to our vow. Let's ask you to set the rules and we'll abide by them. There's no need for any discussion."
"I was the first to meet him," said Cloud, "and also the first to sleep with him. By rights I ought to be in the position of a wife as compared with a concubine, or a senior as compared with a junior, and enjoy extra privileges, getting half his time while you two divide the rest. But we're such close friends that I'd be loath to take that line. We don't need to consider any other options, let's just go by seniority. Whether we're enjoying ourselves by day or by night, we'll proceed from senior to junior. We mustn't get in each other's way like the boy of Que Village who 'presumed to sit with his seniors and walk abreast of them.' [74] And in all we say and do, let's give each other a little grace. Someone younger mustn't be too bumptious and try to show up her elders with things she may be better at. The new friendships mustn't get so close as to weaken the old one, making me feel like the fish that got thrown back in the river. If we can stick to this rule, we'll get on well together without quarreling. Agreed?"
Lucky Pearl and Lucky Jade assented in unison: "Your reasoning is absolutely fair. The one thing that worried us was that you might not be willing to share him. Of course we agree."
&nb
sp; "In that case get me some notepaper and I'll call him over." The sisters were jubilant. One fetched the paper while the other ground up the ink. Cloud picked up the brush and wrote two lines:
The female companions of Mount Tiantai,
Are waiting for Liu, their pact complete. [75]
She then threw down the brush, folded the note several times, and placed it in the container.
"Why did you write only two lines?" asked Lucky Jade. "You haven't finished it either. What kind of poetry is that?"
"I know what she has in mind," said Lucky Pearl. "She can't bear to make him exert himself, so she saves him the trouble of writing a letter by giving him a couplet to complete." She turned to Cloud. "You're head over heels in love!"
Smiling, Cloud sealed the container, gave it to a maid, and told her to throw it through the gap in the wooden wall of her room and wait there for a reply. Once the maid had left, the three women resumed their discussion.
"Tell me," asked Lucky Pearl, "what method did you use to get him to your place? And how many nights did you sleep with him?"
Cloud told them that he lived next door, had removed part of the wooden wall, and would come over at night and not leave until dawn. She said that they had slept together several nights.
"Well, and what is his ability like, as compared with your husband's?" asked Lucky Jade.
"Speaking of that, well, it's simply adorable! You've seen only his looks, which are unequaled, true, but which an artist or sculptor might conceivably capture. But his endowment is a priceless treasure of a kind that no woman has ever heard of, let alone seen."
Pearl and Jade became more and more excited and bombarded her with questions, like candidates for an examination buttonholing a friend outside the hall and asking him about the paper: How large? How long? From the classics? Were candles supplied? [76] They wanted answers to all these questions.
The meal was over, but the dishes had not been cleared away. Cloud felt she could never describe the object successfully without giving an illustration. When asked how long, she picked up an ivory chopstick and replied, "The length of this chopstick." When asked how thick, she picked up a teacup and replied, "The size of this teacup." When asked how hard, she pointed to a bowl of bean curd and replied, "As hard as that bean curd," a reply that sent her listeners into fits of laughter.
"In that case it's awfully soft," they said. "What's the use of its being so big if it's like bean curd?"
"You're wrong there," said Cloud. "There is nothing in the world that's harder then bean curd. It's harder than metal, for metal, hard as it is, melts on contact with fire, whereas bean curd gets harder and harder the longer it's exposed to heat. That object of his is the same, it gets harder with sex, not softer, which is why I compared it to bean curd."
"We don't believe such a treasure exists," said the sisters. "You're overdoing it."
"Far from it. I haven't even told you all of its strengths. It has two other marvelous qualities apart from those I have mentioned, but if I tried to describe them, you'd be even more skeptical. You'll just have to wait until you're having sex with him and can experience them yourselves."
"Do tell us," chorused the sisters. "Never mind whether we believe you."
But Cloud was not about to reveal his qualities so easily. She let the sisters become more and more agitated before finally giving them a systematic account of Vesperus's ability to get larger and hotter, an account that stirred up the sisters' passions and brought a flush to their cheeks and ears. They longed for him to walk in that very moment so that they could drag him off to bed without a word of greeting and put his extraordinary talents to the test. Unfortunately the maid had still not returned, although she had been gone a long time.
The reason for the delay was that Vesperus was not at home. The maid waited inside Cloud's room, where she was spotted by Satchel, who climbed through the gap in the wooden wall and had a long and heavy session with her. When Vesperus returned, she threw the letter over and received his reply, which she duly brought back.
The three women squeezed together to read it. They saw that he had understood Cloud's intention and, instead of writing a letter, had merely added a second couplet:
All prepared is the sesame food;
Restrain your hunger when we meet.
Now that their night's pleasure was assured, the sisters were eager to go in and arrange their beds, fold the covers, bathe and perfume themselves, and await his lovemaking. Cloud stopped them.
"Don't run away so quickly. Let's get tonight's order settled now, lest we make a spectacle of ourselves with a scramble at the last minute."
Lucky Pearl was well aware that Cloud, having slept with him several nights, ought to give up her place, in which case it would be her turn; this was no time to apply the seniority rule. Instead of saying this, however, she gave a calculated display of deference. "But you set the rules just now, from senior to junior, and it goes without saying that you'll be first. What is there left to discuss?"
"By rights we ought to do it like that," said Cloud, "but a different principle should apply tonight. As the saying goes, 'He who enters first is host, he who enters last is guest.' I've slept with him several nights already and would have to be considered the host. Let's use the host-guest principle tonight and switch to the seniority system after you've both slept with him. That's definitely the right solution, so let's have no false modesty. There's just one question still to be settled: with me out of consideration, he should naturally begin with Pearl. But are you going to take a whole night each or will you divide the night between you? Talk it over and let me know."
But the sisters just looked at one another and said nothing. "We're too embarrassed," said Lucky Pearl after some time. "You're the eldest, you decide."
"A whole night is more satisfying," said Cloud, "but it would be hard on the one who has to wait. It might be better if you took half the night each."
She offered this as a suggestion only, because she wanted them to accept it before she converted it into a ruling. To her surprise, each of them had reservations that she could not bring herself to express. Again neither said anything.
"I know what your silence means," said Cloud. "The one who goes first is afraid he won't put himself out for her but will reserve his strength for the second party, so she won't agree. And the one who goes last is afraid she'll get someone who has shot his bolt and lost his edge, so she won't agree. Let me put it to you straight: he is a match for several women."
She turned first to Lucky Pearl. "Even if you have him the whole night, you'll still get only half a night of the real thing. Well before midnight comes around I'm afraid you'll beg to be excused. You'll end up handing him on anyway."
Then she turned to Lucky Jade. "'The wine affects the last guest to arrive just as much as the first,' as the saying goes. Moreover, his particular winepot tastes especially good toward the bottom. There's no need for you to be suspicious of each other, so let's do it that way."
Now that she had guessed their thoughts, the sisters resolved their doubts and agreed: "We'll do as you say."
The arrangements complete, Cloud told a maid to stand by the door. They hadn't long to wait before Vesperus was ushered in.
As he entered, the sisters affected a maidenly confusion and withdrew a step or two, leaving Cloud to receive him. Vesperus gave a deep bow in greeting her, then straightened up. "Please ask the young ladies to come forward and be introduced," he said. Cloud led them forward to meet him, gripping one girl's arm with each hand.
After the introductions Lucky Pearl called to the maid to bring tea. "There's no need to order tea," said Cloud. "He's been longing for you two so badly that he's quite bitter, so give him some of the nectar in your mouths instead of tea." As she spoke, she took the girls' hands and placed them in Vesperus's. Embracing both girls, Vesperus popped his tongue first into Lucky Pearl's mouth and let her suck it and then into Lucky Jade's and let her do the same. Then he brought all three mouths
together to form the character pin, [77] after which he took both tongues into his own mouth and sucked them.
It was getting late and Lucky Jade was worried lest her time with him be delayed, so she hurried out to the kitchen and urged the maids to get supper on the table.
"Let's go to bed," said Vesperus. "It's late."
"But we haven't had our sesame food yet," said Lucky Pearl. "How can you talk of bed?"
"I drank your nectar just now. That will do nicely instead."
They were still joking as the food was brought in. Vesperus sat in the place of honor, with Cloud opposite him and Pearl and Jade on either side. They had finished their supper and were about to clear the dishes away when Vesperus pulled Cloud aside.
"Tell me, what are the sleeping arrangements for tonight?" he asked.
"I've settled it all for you," she said. "The first half of the night you'll be with Pearl, the second with Jade."
"And what about yourself?"
"Oh, I'll take the middle half," said Cloud, dissembling.
"That'll be fine, too."
"That too sounds a little odd. You're surely not implying that I'm being unfair, like someone who keeps the middle part of the fish for himself and leaves the head and tail to others, so that they complain of getting all the bones! In that case why not put all your energy into the first and last parts and cut back in the middle?"
"I wouldn't dream of it. What worries me is that my time will be frittered away running to and fro. Let me ask you your opinion: Wouldn't it be better if we all slept together?"
"I know what you have in mind! You're not worried about the toing and froing, you're simply too greedy to part with either of them. You want to do as you did just now when you kissed together, except that underneath the pin you want to draw a chuan. [78] I've no doubt we'll get around to that later, but this is your first meeting and you mustn't try it yet. I was having you on just now. I'm quite content to withdraw for the night and let them enjoy themselves. You're to keep to the order I mentioned and sleep with Pearl the first half of the night and with Jade the last half. You'll have to be on your mettle to live up to everything I've told them about you."
