Rice showed Ozzie the map of the neighborhood on his smartphone.
“Got it!” Ozzie said, giving the thumbs-up, and he and Madison raced off in the opposite direction. Zoe and the boys then started shouting, diverting the squirrel lady’s and pigeon man’s attentions away from their friends.
“Over here, Squirrel Lady!” Rice shouted as he jumped up and down, waving his hands in the air. The hoard of undead squirrels skittered around the zombie man’s ankles. Pigeon Man snarled, leading his pack like some psychotic pied piper of Brooklyn.
“Hey!” Zoe shouted. “Squirrel Lady! This way!”
Squirrel Lady’s head whipped around at the sound of Zoe’s voice. “Raaaargh!” The undead animal hoarder lifted her mangled arms and moaned, walking straight for them. The man’s flock of zombie pigeons launched off the ground, flapping their undead wings laboriously, flying slowly, as if they were carrying invisible bricks with their talons.
“Run!” Zack shouted, and bolted into a sprint as the birds flew at them.
Rice and Zoe took off, the herd of zombie squirrels chasing them through the trees.
“Zack,” yelled Zoe to her brother. “This was your worst idea ever!”
As they raced through the park, the twin swarms of undead animals were gaining ground. The squirrels were right on their heels, and the pigeons lumbered through the night air, catching up fast.
All of a sudden, Zoe tripped in a ditch and fell in the dirt. “Ahhhh!” she cried as a trio of zombie pigeons descended on her head.
“Cover your eyes,” Rice yelled, doubling back to help her.
Zack ran back, too, and together they batted the pigeons off Zoe’s head and hoisted her back up to her feet.
Just then the herd of zombie squirrels caught up with them and pounced. Zack quickly opened the umbrella and blocked the undead fuzzballs with the tented nylon fabric, deflecting a dozen fluffy-tailed critters to the ground. But that wasn’t the last of them. Another squirrel immediately scurried up the outside of his leg. The little sucker’s teeth stung as they bit into Zack’s flesh through his pants.
Rice ran over and snatched the feasting squirrel by its bushy tail. He ripped the undead rodent off his buddy’s thigh and flipped it up in the air. Rice then bobbed in place like a heavyweight boxer and nailed the little sucker with a right cross. The zombie squirrel squealed and sailed into a tree trunk with a vicious splat.
“Good one, Rice,” said Zack, clutching his pant leg.
They squinted through the darkness and saw the moonlight hitting the grass just beyond the edge of the woods.
“Come on!” Zoe shouted.
And with hundreds of undead hellhounds waddling behind them through the urban woodland, the three of them dashed out of the zombified forest.
Zack, Zoe, and Rice stopped in the small parking lot outside the Organic Food Warehouse, grabbing their knees and sucking in air. “This is the place.” Rice gasped, looking up from his iPhone at the large food depot.
“Where are Ozzie and Madison?” asked Zoe, wheezing a bit, too.
“They’re probably inside,” Zack said.
They pushed through the doors and discovered the whole place was dark and quiet. Rice pulled out a flashlight from his backpack and flipped it on, shining the beam of light around the room. The vegan food warehouse had twenty-foot ceilings, and huge shelving units towered from the ground up.
“Madison!” Zoe called.
“Shhhh!” Zack said. “There could be zombies in here for all we know. . . .”
“Ozzie!” Rice whispered into the creepy, deserted food warehouse.
“Where are they?” asked Zoe, sounding a little worried.
“I don’t know. They had a good head start,” Zack said. “They should be here by now.”
“Maybe they got lost,” Zoe said. “We should go look for them.”
“Hey, guys,” said Rice, going down one of the food aisles. “Check it out.”
“Do you see them?” Zack asked.
“No,” Rice said. “But I found something else.” He was standing in front of a gigantic stack of Madison’s favorite drink: kiwi-strawberry ginkgo biloba–infused Vital Vegan PowerPunch. “We gotta stock up on this stuff! Once we find a pure vegan, we can have them drink Vital Vegan and re-Madison them. And boom—more antidote!”
“Are you sure that will work?” Zoe asked skeptically.
“Of course it’ll work,” said Rice. “It worked with Madison, didn’t it?”
“Well, let’s load up then,” Zack said, picking up a case of the Vital Vegan drink.
As they made their stack of the ginkgo vitamin water, Rice’s phone started to ring. He looked at the touch screen flashing an unknown number. He answered the call: “Hello?”
“Rice!” cried the voice on the other end of the line. “It’s Ozzie.”
“Yo, Oz! What’s up? Where are you guys?”
“Is Madison okay?” Zoe asked.
“Hey,” Rice said into the phone. “Is Madison all right?”
“Yeah,” Ozzie said. “She’s fine, and so is Twinkles.”
“Where are you?” Rice asked Ozzie.
“We’re across the street at the botanical gardens,” he said. “No zombies over here. Where are you three?”
“We’re at the warehouse still,” Rice said.
“Well, get your butts over here,” Madison said in the background of the call. “We got ourselves a real live vegan dude.”
“Cool,” Rice said. “We’ve got some good news, too. We hit the jackpot on some Vital Vegan PowerPunch!”
“Great,” Ozzie said. “See you soon.”
Rice hung up the phone and looked at Zack and Zoe. “They found a vegan dude who can help us!”
“Come on,” Zack said. “Help me load this stuff up, and let’s get out of here.”
“Seriously,” said Zoe. “This place gives me the creeps.”
“I’ll be back in a second,” said Zack, dropping a case of the ginkgo water on the floor. “I think I saw some of those rolly things back there.” He ran to the front of the warehouse and spotted a two-wheeled dolly over by the wall next to the shopping carts. He grabbed the pushcart and scooted it to the Vital Vegan aisle.
“Better get over here, little bro,” Zoe said, as Zack returned. “Something’s wrong with your boy.”
Zack looked up and dropped the dolly, running the rest of the way down the aisle to where his sister stood. Rice’s body twitched on the floor.
“He just started doing that,” Zoe said, shrugging. “Do you think he’s rerezombifying?”
“And you just stood there? Rice!” Zack yelled, as he crouched down next to his pal and propped him up in his arms. “Rice!” he shouted, tapping his cheek lightly. “This isn’t happening . . . no, no, no. . . .”
Just then, Rice’s eyes popped open and he smiled up at Zack. “Gotcha!”
“Ha!” Zoe burst out laughing. “What a chump!”
Rice hopped off the floor and stepped to Zoe. “You owe me five bucks!”
Zack stood up and stared at the two of them. “There’s something seriously wrong with both of you.”
“I didn’t want to, Zack,” said Rice. “But, I mean . . . five bucks!”
“Come on,” Zack said, shaking his head. “Go grab the dolly and let’s get out of here.”
Zoe wheeled the cases of ginkgo water out the back exit of the deserted organic warehouse, and they followed Rice’s iPhone directions to the botanical gardens. “Almost there? I thought it was across the street?” Zack asked, as they made their way down a few more twists and turns.
“Not almost,” said Rice. “We’re here.”
Outside the giant greenhouselike structure, Zoe and the boys passed a food truck parked out front. The words 100% VEGAN CUISINE labeled the side of the vehicle. They walked through the halls of the glass building until they reached a large room with all sorts of rare and beautiful flowers. Toward the back of the room, they saw Madison, Ozzie, and a young man w
ho was sitting on the ground in yoga position with his legs crossed. His hands rested on his knees, making “okay” signs with his fingertips.
Zack raised his eyebrows at the meditating vegan. “Is he okay?”
“Yeah,” Madison said. “Apparently he does this a lot.”
“He claims to be warding off the dark spirits of zombieism,” Ozzie said.
Is this dude for real? Zack thought, propping the stack of ginkgo water against the glass wall.
“Welcome . . .” The man’s voice resounded through the greenhouse. “Come, friends. Join me.”
“This guy is going to be perfect.” Rice smiled. “What’s his deal?”
“His name is Egon Furlong,” Ozzie informed them. “He’s a hundred percent pure vegan, and he drives that food truck parked out front.”
“I see you’ve brought me a tasty libation,” said Egon the vegan, eyeing the dolly full of vitamin water. “Kiwi-strawberry is one of my favorite flavors the Vital Vegan brand has to offer.”
“Hey,” Madison said. “Me, too!”
“Great minds drink alike.”
“Boo!” said Zoe. “Dad joke!”
Ozzie elbowed Zoe in the ribs. “Don’t make fun of him,” he whispered. “We need his help, remember?”
Zack and Rice took a seat next to the last of the vegans and crossed their legs.
“So,” Zack said. “You’ve never been a zombie before?”
“No,” he said. “I managed to survive the last outbreak. Luckily, I was meditating at my cabin in the mountains and there were no zombies for miles.”
“That’s good,” Rice said. “So would you be willing to help us produce a new antidote?”
“You believe that I might produce some of the same vegan powers that your friend once possessed?” He gestured toward Madison. “And unzombify the population?”
“Yes,” Zack said sincerely. “We do.” Let’s hope he drinks as much of the Vital Vegan punch as Madison does, Zack thought.
There was a moment of silence while Egon pondered the invitation. “Then that will be my destiny.”
“Awesome,” Ozzie said, ripping open one of the cases of Vital Vegan. “Here,” he said. “Take this.” He handed Egon a bottle of the kiwi-strawberry drink.
The man sipped the ginkgo water and smacked his lips. “Mm-hmm, that is a tasty beverage!”
It was actually kind of peaceful in the greenhouse. They all caught their breath as Egon drank the Vital Vegan, forgetting for a moment about the zombie-pocalypse going on.
Zack yawned loudly, only just realizing how tired he was after their night of fighting through the zombie hordes.
“Quit yawning, Zack,” said Zoe. “You’re making me sleepy.”
“Maybe if we take turns keeping watch, we can all get a little shut-eye,” said Rice.
It seemed like a great idea, until a horrible zombie howl echoed from outside. The zombie battle cry shattered their hope of sleep, and they all realized at once that any kind of rest might still be a long way off.
All of a sudden another sound erupted, this time even closer. It was the sound of breaking glass.
“Run!” Zack shouted, as the glass panels started to crack with the hundredfold zombie onslaught smashing outside.
Egon scrambled off the floor and shot out through the greenhouse garden.
“Over there!” Madison signaled to the back corner of the greenhouse, away from the herd of undead creeps.
Ozzie jogged over and grabbed the cart full of ginkgo biloba water, then took off after the girls.
Zack and Rice raced through the maze of exotic plants, trailing their new vegan guru. As they hustled down the walkway, Rice’s eyes went wide. “Egon,” he screamed. “Watch out!”
Zack looked in front of them and saw a zombified Venus flytrap lash out like a serpent.
Ahead of them, Egon fell to his knees, clutching his wrist. “Owwww!” The last of the vegans bellowed in agony. Zack’s stomach sank for the millionth time that night as their only hope collapsed in a heap on the floor.
“Let’s get out of here!” Madison called. “I’m pretty sure zombies don’t keep vegan!”
“Blargh!” the zombie vegan growled hideously, snatching at Zack’s legs.
As Egon lurched off the ground, Rice stepped up from behind Zack and kicked the carnivorous vegan in the chest with the heel of his lone shoe. “Boo-ya!” Rice shouted as the zombie’s head snapped back and slammed unconscious against the floor.
“Nice one, man.” Zack smiled and bumped his fist with Rice’s.
Just then the whole building started to rain down in shards of glass. “Shake a leg, boys!” Ozzie yelled. He raised his nunchaku and smashed an exit for them.
Zack and Rice darted over to the hole and rushed out after Ozzie and the girls as the entire greenhouse collapsed in on itself with a terrific crash.
Outside, Zack flung open the back doors to Egon’s vegan food truck.
Zoe hopped in the driver’s seat and turned the keys still in the ignition, revving the engine. Madison and Twinkles jumped in, riding shotgun, while Zack, Ozzie, and Rice quickly loaded up their getaway truck with the cases of Vital Vegan PowerPunch.
From the shattered greenhouse, psychotic glass-speckled zombies sparkled in the streetlight and shambled after them with thick pus oozing from their lacerations.
“Let’s hit the road!” said Zoe as she threw the gearshift in reverse and peeled out into the street, screeching away from the undead madness in their wake.
“You all right, dude?” Zack asked Ozzie. “You’re bleeding.”
Ozzie turned his head to see the rip in the back of his shirtsleeve. “Just a scrape. No biggie.”
“Hey,” Rice said to Zack, “you’re bleeding, too.”
Zack looked down at the bloody spot on his pant leg and picked a tiny tooth out of the cut in his leg. “Just a zombie squirrel bite.” He smiled, tossing away the tooth. “No biggie.”
Rice unzipped his pack and pulled out some first-aid supplies, along with an assortment of individually wrapped snack cakes. “Don’t leave home without ’em.”
But then, as the excitement from their brush with the undead waned, a solemn mood washed over their ride.
“So what are we going to do now?” Zack asked. “All we have is a bunch of kiwi-strawberry vitamin water.”
Rice pounded his fist against the inside of the truck. “If only they had cloned Madison when they had the chance . . . ,” he said, trailing off.
“Come on, Rice,” Ozzie said. “Let’s not play the ‘what if’ game. We gotta stay focused.”
“You’re right, Oz,” Rice said, taking a deep breath. “What the heck do we do now?” The five of them sat quietly for a few moments before Madison broke the silence.
“OMG!” Her eyes lit up with a bright idea. “I can’t believe I didn’t think of it till now,” she said, perking up a bit. “My cousin Olivia . . . she’s, like, totally my clone. She’s on the same diet as me and everything. We, like, totally look the same, too, except she’s got brown hair and I’m a little prettier.”
“Hmm.” Rice scratched his chin. “Interesting.”
“That’s it,” Zack agreed. “We’ve gotta get to her right away.”
“Okay, so where am I driving to, guys?” asked Zoe.
“Umm, it’s kind of far,” Madison replied. “She’s Canadian, but she lives right across the border near Niagara Falls.”
“What do you say, guys,” Ozzie said, as they drove deeper into Brooklyn. “You down for another road trip?”
“Whatever it takes, man,” Zack said, feeling slightly better. “Whatever it takes. . . .”
“All in favor say ‘eyeballs,’” Rice said.
“Eyeballs!” the five of them said together.
“Arf!” Twinkles barked. “Arf-arf!”
“Canada, here we come!” said Zoe, whooping. She pulled the truck onto the highway and they zoomed off to track down Madison’s cousin and unzombify the world.
Excerpt from Nothing Left to Ooze
The windshield wipers clacked hypnotically back and forth as the vegan food truck sped along the frozen lakeshore toward Buffalo, New York. Zack Clarke sat and watched the snowflakes fall in the fading twilight. The entire area was still in the dead of winter, despite the spring weather elsewhere.
Behind the wheel, Ozzie Briggs followed a detour sign and steered the truck off the expressway into the city.
It had been almost ten hours since they had escaped a rezombified New York City. Now they were on a mission to track down Madison’s vegan cousin, Olivia, the one person who could help them formulate another zombie antidote.
Madison sat in the back, her cell phone pressed to her ear, trying to reach her cousin. “It’s going straight to voice mail,” she whined.
“At least we have her address,” Rice piped in.
Ozzie slowed the food truck at a blinking yellow traffic light. In front of them, the road turned into a circular roundabout with a large white obelisk jutting out of the center.
All of a sudden—Bam! Bam! Bam!
“We’ve got company!” Zack glimpsed back in the side-view mirror. Two undead figures latched tightly to the exterior panel of the truck. The zombies, a man wearing boxer shorts and a black puffy vest and a woman in a bathrobe and pink bunny slippers, looked as though they had rezombified in the middle of getting dressed. A mustache of snot rimed across the undead bathrobe lady’s upper lip, which curled back to show off her purplish, bloodstained teeth.
“Buckle your seat belts, guys!” Ozzie swerved the food truck from side to side, attempting to shake the undead joyriders loose.
“The zombies aren’t coming off,” Zack said. “They’re stuck!”
“What do you mean they’re stuck?” Madison asked.
“I mean stuck,” Zack said. “Like that kid’s tongue that touched the flagpole in that Christmas movie kind of stuck.”
The Zombie Chasers #4 Page 8
