Chapter Eight
‘Wake up! Come on!’ The bang on my door the next morning jarred me out of a dreamless sleep. It took me a minute to remember where I was during which time whoever it was at the door started to hammer impatiently.
Gileath. I was in Gileath. There was a rustle of blonde hair beside me and I remembered that I was sharing a bed with one of the mental demon hunters I’d met yesterday. The banging at the door intensified and Neve mumbled something about newts in a bucket.
‘Uh, hang on!’ I shouted.
Neve shot up, eyes wide open like a startled deer, and grabbed a knife from her bedside table. ‘It’s okay,’ I said, edging slightly away from her. ‘I think it’s just...’ What was his name? ‘The well-dressed guy from last night.’
‘Oh.’ She rubbed the heel of her hand over her face, frowning. ‘Raelthos, is that you?’
An impatient sigh floated through from the other side of the door. ‘Yessss. Everyone’s waiting downstairs. Not sure if anyone’s mentioned it, Neve, but your brother’s been kidnaped. We’re supposed to be rescuing him...’
She shrieked. ‘Bollocks! We’ve overslept!’ Her hair looked like it had been vigorously backcombed and she jumped out of bed, dragging on a pair of brown trousers and a stuffing her arms into a shirt.
Even though I’d only occupied this room for twelve hours, all my new stuff had managed to scatter itself across the floor, like a clothes-carpet. Cursing myself for collapsing into bed instead of taking the time to tidy or pack, I gave up trying to locate my breeches and opened the door a crack.
‘Good morning,’ Raelthos said, poking his head round the door. ‘I say, are you planning on wearing that shirt and nothing else? And there I was thinking this mission could turn out to be dull.’
‘No,’ I blushed.
Somehow Neve had already managed to strap all her weapons about her person and was hoisting her bag onto her shoulders. ‘Roanne, I’ll get you some breakfast,’ she said. ‘Just get downstairs as soon as you can.’ And she pelted out the door, calling over her shoulder to Raelthos to look after me.
‘Hang on, let me just get my things together.’ I turned around to start gathering my things up off the floor, but to my astonishment the backpack Neve had given me was already on the bed, clothes and equipment packed neatly inside.
I whirled back to Raelthos, who stood in the doorway with the beginnings of an impatient look on his face. My head swung back to my room, to where my bulging backpack sat innocently on the bed, and then back to Raelthos again. I pointed to my pack. ‘Did Neve-‘
‘Did Neve what?’ He looked as confused as I felt.
Mad. I was going mad.
Shaking my head and trying not to expose too much of my bum to Raelthos’s frankly appreciative gaze, I pulled on my breeches and headed out the door.
Downstairs in the bar, the others were waiting in one of the booths, their packs scattered on the floor under the table. Two large platters lay on the table, one with slices of meat and one with about three loaves-worth of toast.
Trying not to look too surprised at the prospect of meat-on-toast for breakfast, I sat down opposite Kallista, who was fastidiously picking the layer fat from her food. ‘Finally,’ she muttered under her breath, slanting me a narrow-eyed look.
I looked up sharply, but she’d gone back to inspecting her food with a martyrish expression. I hadn’t been that late. And besides, it looked like Oriel still hadn’t made it downstairs either. Something told me that he wouldn’t get the same narky reception when he showed up.
Just as I was wondering whether to go for meat-on-toast or a toasted meat sandwich, the door to the bar crashed open and Oriel hurried through, stuffing belongings into his backpack. Throwing his pack into the pile under the table, he wedged himself into the space opposite me and started loading a plate up. ‘Sorry I’m late,’ he grinned at Neve, who gave him a steely look.
‘Morning, Oriel,’ Kallista smirked.
He didn’t hear her and the nasty part of me wanted to laugh at her sullen expression. Instead he turned to me. ‘Did you sleep okay? Neve didn’t keep you awake with her snoring, did she?’
‘I don’t snore,’ Neve said, leaning over and flicking him on the arm with the back of her hand.
‘Yeah, it was fine, thanks.’ Then I remembered. ‘Actually, I didn’t bring any pyjamas with me, so if there are any shops open today, I wouldn’t mind stopping off. If we have time.’
Oriel and Neve exchanged looks. ‘Er, we generally sleep in our clothes when we’re out on missions,’ Neve said, laying her sandwich on her plate. ‘Especially if we’re sleeping out in the open. Even in summer, it gets pretty cold outside at night. You don’t mind, do you?’
‘Oh god, no, of course not,’ I lied.
‘Pyjamas?’ Kallista muttered, like I’d asked for diamond shoes.
Neve frowned at her. ‘Also, having your clothes on is really handy in case we’re attacked while we’re asleep.’
‘What?’ I squeaked.
‘We won’t be attacked,’ Oriel assured me, kicking Neve.
‘Oh no, we won’t be attacked,’ Neve hurriedly went on, her eyes wide. ‘But if we were attacked, already having our clothes on would make for an easier fight. Or quicker getaway. Anyway,’ she said briskly, clapping her hands together, ‘now we’re all here, we have a mission briefing to go through.’
Oriel rolled his eyes at me and stuck two fingers into his mouth, miming blowing the back of his head off. A snort of laughter burst through my nose. I sucked my lips into my mouth to stop my giggles and when I caught Oriel’s eye he gave me a shocked frown.
Neve glared at Oriel, who assumed a blandly innocent expression, and started telling us about what the next few days would hold. Essentially we would start walking at daybreak every day and finish walking when it was dark, stopping briefly during the day to eat. And given that yesterday was midsummer’s eve that equated to a whole bunch of daylight. It sounded like a horrifying amount of physical activity.
As a rule, I tended not to do a whole lot of walking, but I assembled my facial features into an expression that I hoped said that yup, this was no problem at all; I did this sort of thing all the time.
The upshot of it was that we were going to spend a few days travelling to some town, the name of which I’d forgotten two seconds after Neve said it, to try to convince one of the ex-guards of Baeroth’s prison to help us break in. Neve seemed confident that everything would go our way, so who was I to question her? Anyway, once in the jail dimension we’d rescue Owen and come back to bountiful rewards and general merriment. And then home. With no criminal record. And with the Jeopardy still free of a psychotic, murdery ex-king.
It would be fine, I told myself. Yes, there would be a lot of walking, but it wouldn’t hurt to get my activity levels up a bit. And there might be some discomfort and/or danger but probably no more than I’d face in some terrifying youth detention centre.
As we got up to leave, I started to sling my kit bag over my back but Oriel stopped me. ‘You’re not used to marching,’ he said, ‘let me carry your bag for you.’
‘Uh, no really, it’s fine.’ It so wasn’t fine. My bag weighed a ton, but I was struggling to think of anything worse than being the weakling girlie who couldn’t even carry her own backpack.
Oriel studied me carefully and shrugged. ‘Alright, but if you change your mind let me know.’
‘Thanks, but I think I’ll be okay.’ I swung the impossibly heavy bag over my back, staggered slightly, readjusted it so I could still reach my arrows - because, yes, apparently I took weapons whilst out walking these days - and followed the others outside into the sunshine.
Two hours later, we were clear of the town and walking along a road carved through some pretty farmland. As I looked behind me, the only evidence of Saltmarsh I could see were the shining demon nets arcing high into the sky.
I shivered slightly at being outside the protection of the nets, but cheered up when I
remembered that my four companions were ninja superheroes armed with swords. And I wasn’t exactly helpless myself, I thought as I hitched my quiver of arrows higher on my shoulder.
Although we were moving along at a fair old clip, I still managed to have a good look round while we walked, like a tourist on Oxford Street.
The scenery was weird. But it was only weird because it looked so normal.
Every year, for as long as I could remember, we would spend a few weeks of the summer holidays in south Devon. The town we usually stayed in wasn’t far from Exeter, and the road we were on now was exactly like the ones we drove along in the car to get there. Okay, so this one wasn’t covered in tarmac and there weren’t any McDonald’s wrappers in the grass verge, but other than that it looked the same. The day was blue-skied and fresh, and what sun there was shone through familiar trees - I saw oaks, blackthorn and another one - ash, maybe? There were even foxgloves and cowslip in the hedgerows.
As we crested a small hill, I looked out over the surrounding farmlands. Acres of green pasture were spread out beneath us, dotted with tiny white specks of sheep and surrounded by tall fencing. In the distance, a small cluster of houses stood, demon nets rising gracefully from the low wall surrounding them.
Okay, maybe not so similar after all.
I shifted my bag on my shoulders, trying not to groan. I was bitterly regretting my earlier bravado. The straps of my bag had carved furrows into my shoulders and were starting to cut off the blood supply to my arms.
For the ninetieth time, I wondered why we weren’t going by horse. Not that I was complaining - I was not a fan of that thing horses do where they roll their lips back and made their teeth look all chompy and massive - but still. I hadn’t held out much hope that we’d be going by car - in a land of no television, it seemed unlikely that they’d have invented the internal combustion engine - but the roads in Saltmarsh had displayed plenty of evidence of horses.
Evidently, Kallista had been thinking the same thing. Gradually over the course of the morning her tuts and noises of irritation had increased in volume and frequency until she finally muttered just loud enough for everyone to hear, ‘I still don’t see why we can’t go by horseback.’
Oriel was walking a few paces ahead, talking quietly with Raelthos. He turned round to Kallista and snorted harshly. ‘Yeah, because at the speed you ride, we could shave literally minutes off our journey time.’
‘At least we wouldn’t have to carry all our kit.’
Neve sighed softly. ‘I’ve already said: I’ll carry your kit for you.’
Kallista ignored her. ‘I want to ride,’ she grumbled.
‘Kallista, we’re not riding,’ Oriel snapped. ‘Okay? We’re not riding. We’re supposed to be keeping a low profile, which, incidentally, includes not wearing uniform while we’re out - although apparently you didn’t get that memo.’ He looked pointedly at Kallista’s crisp green tunic and trousers. Raelthos in turn eyed Oriel’s Transformers t-shirt (seriously, where did he get these clothes if he’d never been to the Sanctuary?) as if Oriel had neglected his sartorial instructions. ‘Five riders, armed to the teeth, charging about all over the countryside isn’t what I’d call inconspicuous. And besides, Roanne doesn’t ride. Now just shut up about it, will you?’
Kallista stuck her tongue out at Oriel’s back as he turned back to Raelthos and she started scuffing her heels through the pebbles and dust with each steps. ‘I might’ve known the Zero would be the reason we couldn’t ride.’
Spinning around so fast his movement was almost imperceptible, Oriel stepped into Kallista’s path, forcing her to stop with a jolt. When he spoke his voice was scarily quiet. ‘If you ever call her that again, I will run you through. Do you understand?’
Kallista scowled at him and shoved his chest with both hands. Oriel didn’t even budge a millimetre. He laughed at her scornfully as she pushed harder, her feet starting to slide on the loose rubble.
‘That’s enough!’ Neve yanked Oriel away by the collar. ‘You - get away from her.’ Neve shoved Oriel to the other side of the road. ‘And Kallista - don’t use that word. It’s offensive and unhelpful.’
‘Don’t come all holier than thou with me, Neve; it’s not like you’ve never said it before.’ Neve flushed and frowned. ‘We slog our guts out every day fighting demons, while they sit around in the Sanctuary like pet canaries, and to my mind that makes us the Heroes, and them,’ she flicked a finger in my direction without looking at me, ‘the Zeroes.’
‘You’re impressing no one, Kallista,’ Oriel said. ‘All you’re doing is showing us all what a spoilt, selfish brat you’ve turned out to be. Gotta say, Neve’s better off without you as a friend.’
Neve shouted ‘Hey!’ and Kallista went white. I stood a little way away feeling awkward and uncomfortable as Oriel and Neve squared off against each other and Kallista stomped further off up the road by herself.
‘I wouldn’t worry too much, cupcake. A tenner says it’ll all have blown over by lunchtime.’ Raelthos had sidled up behind me, his head bent close to my ear. ‘The dynamic between these three has always been...interesting, shall we say. Power plays, love triangles. Fascinating stuff, and the chance to observe it all first hand was my primary reason for agreeing to help them out of the monumental fix they appear to be in.’ His eyes glinted with scandalous amusement, inviting me to join him. ‘I really didn’t think it would be quite so soon before they all started to squabble over you, though.’
Raelthos was right; we’d only been walking for an hour or so before Neve and Oriel were chatting and laughing with each other again. Only Kallista was still silent, although she was now walking without complaint.
I had no idea how far we had gone by the time we stopped mid-morning for a drink of water. It felt like about a billion miles. Sitting on a rock, I tried to wiggle my feet round in their boots a bit to rest them before the next massive stretch of walking. A large, green-tinged beetle landed on my knee and I bit back a shriek as I flicked it off. When I looked up, I caught Oriel watching me, a smile playing across his lips.
Okay, so here’s the thing about me and nature. I like nature. I do. Trees, flowers, animals - all nice. But my favourite way of admiring nature is by looking at a picture of it in a book, while I’m sitting indoors with the fire on.
What I’m not terribly keen on is having to interact with nature. I’ll go on a picnic, if it’s a warm day and we don’t stray too far from the car park or the gift shop and we don’t get invaded by ants, but walks in the woods and hiking across fields and stuff just fills me with dread.
The only difference with this mission was that, unlike my many unhappy childhood experiences of being dragged on long walks in the countryside by my parents, this time I didn’t whine and complain every step of the way. I was pathetically aware that I was the least experienced and least fit member of the team. Even Raelthos with his well-tailored clothes and close attention to personal grooming was clearly twice the soldier that I could ever hope to be. He loped along with easy strides, as if walking from dawn till dusk made a relaxing change from what he’d usually be doing; sprinting up mountains, or juggling elephants or something.
After an aeon or so, we stopped for lunch. I drank the rest of the water from my canteen and refilled it from the stream, adding drops of water purifier, while Oriel handed out our rations. I looked at the hard, dry biscuit he gave me and tried to hide my surprise. Apparently I didn’t do a very good job of it, though, because he laughed and said, ‘It’s a protein bar. Don’t worry; it’s more filling than it looks.’ He sat down next to me and tucked into his biscuit. I took a deep breath and bit into it. It felt like it was made of spit and brick dust.
We had a break of about twenty minutes - positively decadent - sitting on a log. My horrible, green rucksack lay smirking at my feet. I toed it despondently, wondering which of my possessions I wouldn’t mind leaving here in order to save my shoulders.
Maybe I could get by with just one set of clo
thes. After all, in a couple of weeks I would be back home, long walks and trail rations a distant horrible memory, and if anyone in the Jeopardy should reminisce about ‘that stinky girl from the Sanctuary’, well, it wouldn’t be any of my concern.
I pulled my messenger bag out of the rucksack and surveyed its contents. My iPod was staying with me. It had about half a battery’s charge and I was saving it for when I got desperate. Same for the half-eaten, fluff-covered Snickers.
Neve wiped the dust from her lunch off her trousers and started to re-braid her hair. ‘How are you doing? You know, with the walking. How are the boots holding up?’ She waggled her eyebrows.
‘Well, I don’t have any blisters,’ I said.
‘See? See?’ she crowed. ‘Always trust what Aunty Neve says.’
‘Yeah, but the soles of my feet feel like someone’s been shooting at them with an air rifle.’
Neve frowned. ‘What’s an air rifle?’ she asked.
‘It’s a...well, it’s...uh...’ A gun, I wanted to say, but if they didn’t have air rifles here, they probably didn’t have any other sorts of gun either.
‘It’s a type of gun.’ Oriel appeared from behind Neve and sat down between us both. ‘A weapon where missiles are propelled through a metal barrel by means of an explosive. Like that thing I brought to training that time. Remember?’
‘Oh, that thing,’ Neve said, looking horrified.
Oriel turned to me. ‘I found a gun at a flotsam sale once, so I decided to drag Gileath into the technological age, thinking it would be a lot more efficient at killing demons than our traditional weapons. Turns out that guns and portals don’t mix. It didn’t end well.’
‘That poor horse,’ Neve said, shaking her head.
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