“Both what?”
“Remember when you asked me if you were a weakness or strength?”
Panic bear hugged my chest in a death grip. I was afraid of the answer, but I was no longer fear’s bitch. Suppressing the anxiety, I nodded for him to continue.
“You’re my strength and my weakness, Lucy. My Light and my Dark. But no matter which one it is, you manage to bring out the best in me. You’re my everything.”
My scowl had slowly melted with each word, and the corners of my mouth lifted involuntarily. I felt our easy connection returning and wanted to lighten the mood before I did something regrettable, like break out in song or some shit.
“So are there any mini Gavins running around somewhere?”
It was his turn to cringe. I fought the urge to smack myself. The question wasn’t much better than my first. I was on a roll with this whole masochism theme.
“No,” he said with finality.
“But how would you know for sure? I doubt they passed out free condoms at the health clinic back in your day.”
“Trust me. I wasn’t even supposed to exist, so there would be no way my genes were able to pass any further. And as far as my other life, vampires can’t really conceive.”
“Oh,” I added lamely. I hadn’t thought of that. Suddenly, I deflated like I just lost a dream I never knew I had. “So I can never have kids?”
His eyes bore into mine. “Lucy,” he whispered, almost sympathetically. “Did you picture yourself having kids one day?”
“No, I just… I don’t know.”
He read my expression before responding. “You just shed another piece of that normalcy you still crave.” He tilted his head forward so his eyes leveled mine. “Even though you’ve accepted your supernatural life, it still stings, huh?”
“I guess so. I didn’t even realize I was holding onto it, but the whole husband and white picket fence thing was the ideal. The things that humans consider boring or plain seemed like heaven on rough nights of hunting. Their fairytales always sounded so perfect in my world of nightmares.” I stopped, unsure of how to make him understand.
A wry smile lit his features. “You don’t have to explain it to me, Ms. Masters. I already know you inside and out.”
My eyebrows lifted skyward.
“Well, after our last encounter in the basement, maybe even more-so ins-“
I cupped my hand over his mouth before he could finish the dirty remark. “I get it.”
He smiled against my hand and placed a lingering kiss on my palm. He proceeded to kiss his way over my fingers as I slid my hand away. His eyes bounced around my features, then down to my neck and back up before he ducked slowly, leaving me guessing about where his lips might land.
He held my eyes briefly before dipping his head and parting his lips over the now racing pulse at my neck. His lips dragged softly inward, sucking lightly at my skin, and my hips lifted in response, seeking out his. He ground against me once before settling more weight on top of me to keep me steady.
He lifted his head and drew his palm up to my face. “I’m sorry, Lucy. Vampires can’t have kids. It’s impossible.”
“I kind of knew it all along, but somehow, I just never applied that law of nature to myself.”
“Hey, listen to me, Lucy. It’s impossible, but it was impossible for me to have been born. Impossible things seem a little more possible in our world. You and I are a lot different than the others, okay. Maybe when your soul belongs to you again, things can happen. You don’t have to give up on all your hopes.”
A moment passed as I considered his words. “Very wise, old man.”
He laughed and pinned my hands above my head. “You remember what happens when you tease me right?” Gavin’s eyes heated and drilled into mine.
“I do. And I think you’ll find that threat has the adverse effect on me now.” I pushed up so my entire torso was flush with his and bit my lip to hold back a moan.
“Shit, Lucy,” he breathed and dropped his head into the crook of my neck. “We can’t.” The agonized inflection in his voice hinted at an apology.
I exhaled a steadying breath and closed my eyes to clear my head. “Sorry. I’m sorry.”
“Me too. We need to be more careful, but if you could see yourself right now, you’d understand how hard it is for me.”
I raised another incredulous eyebrow and opened the same eye. There was no hint of innuendo, so I smiled at the compliment and changed the subject.
“Can you even imagine little Lucys running around?” I laughed at the idea.
He laughed too. “Yeah, pretty scary. But maybe they’d have my stellar patience.”
My heart stopped dead in its tracks. “Yours?” I squeaked.
“Lucy.” His tone grew stronger and confident. “If there are kids in your future, then yes, they will be mine.” Never wavering, his eyes stayed glued to mine.
And the possessive, alpha male world champion holds his title. But I understood his confidence. I mistook it before for cockiness because I didn’t know the extent of my feelings. I think he must have seen it all along. He wouldn’t have made that comment if he weren’t so sure about my love, or his.
My arms were now wrapped tightly around his neck, and his hands were gripping my hips roughly. Our lips hovered a mere inch apart.
He jerked back before they made contact, gazing down at me. “We really need to get some sleep. Before I attempt the impossible.” He winked slyly before rolling off me and over to his side of the bed.
†
I awoke to the sounds of shuffling. I peeked through the thin slits of my eyelids to see Gavin rifling through his dresser drawer. His naked back was to me. He pulled out a dark t-shirt and the taut muscles in his shoulders flexed as he lifted it above his head. His torso twisted slightly, and I openly gawked at the spectacular display of tight abs and defined pecks.
“If you keep looking at me like that, we’re never going to make it out of this room.”
I jumped at the sound of his gruff voice and met his smug eyes. In the midst of my heavy ogling, I had drawn up on my elbows and parted my lips. There I was, staring at him like a total creeper with what must have been the most wanton expression I could manage.
“I was going to suggest training together, but I could think of a few other activities to work up a sweat.”
I cringed at his arrogant tone and yanked the covers off myself. Huffing all the way to the door, I barely had time to react to the hand that curled around my bicep, spinning me in place.
He stood so close my hair whipped his face before settling loosely in front of my eyes. He brushed it off my face gently and leaned down to place a chaste kiss on my lips. I leaned into it, lingering half a beat longer on the warm suppleness.
Pulling back, I practically heard the words in his mind as if he said them out loud. Every part of me became aware of his love, but he still hadn’t said it. Neither have I. We were both afraid to give voice to it, making it real to the outside world. We didn’t want it tarnished by those seeking to destroy it or by our own consuming, destructive urges.
I was okay with that, knowing that when we did say the words, nothing would be able to stop it from being true. I returned his smile with my own, showing him everything I had inside of me that would one day be his, out in the open at least. My heart already belonged to him, but I would hand it over when the time was right.
He lifted a hand to flick the tip of my nose, but I dodged it easily. “You better be quicker than that,” I taunted.
His eyes grew dark with promises to come, and I thought he might lunge for me. But he stepped back, biding his time. “I’ll see you in the sparring room, Lucille.”
Oh, shit. He wasn’t going to go easy on me.
A thrill shot through me, and I whirled around and darted toward my room. Now was so not the time to fantasize about all the fun times to be had sparring with Gavin. Tonight, I needed to be prepared for battle. People could die, and I had to stay focuse
d on preventing that from happening.
I stopped by the kitchen before meeting up with Gavin, fully expecting it to be deserted. The staff had strict orders to evacuate this morning when the storm cleared. But when I passed through the swinging door, my sneakers squeaked to a halt on the tile floor.
Chef stood in front of the stove, whistling as he poured seasonings into a giant stockpot, looking happy as a clam and completely oblivious to the dangers of being here.
“What the hell are you doing?” I snapped.
He turned to me with a big grin. “Oh, hey Little Hunter.”
“Hey? That’s it? You should be on a bus or a train out of here by now.”
“Why would I leave here? It’s my home.”
“Yeah, and it’s about to be invaded by a group of ruthless killers with far superior strength and speed. So like I said, what the hell are you still doing here?”
His expression sobered with understanding and what appeared to be obligation. I knew I was going to hate whatever he was about to say.
“Lucy, I know what you’re up against. I won’t abandon you now when you didn’t abandon me.”
“Well, I didn’t save your life so you could die fighting my fight,” I argued.
“That’s just it, Little Hunter. It’s not just your fight. It’s everyone’s.”
I sagged in defeat. It was pointless to object at this point. I couldn’t convince him otherwise. “Do me a favor?”
“What’s that?” he asked, smiling at my resignation.
“Stay as far away from the action as possible.”
“No guarantees.”
“Do you know what’s in the walk-in?” I asked when another thought occurred to me.
“I know every nook and cranny of this kitchen. Of course I know what’s in there. I’m the only one though.”
“Good. I suppose you know your way to town from there?”
“Of course,” he confirmed.
“I’m going to need your help, then. I want you to be ready to guide the others to safety when the time comes. Can you do that for me?”
He pondered my request thoughtfully. “Absolutely, but I want you to promise you’ll be right behind us.”
“You know I can’t make any promises about the outcome of tonight.”
He waited a beat before responding. “At least promise to give ‘em hell.”
I laughed despite the gravity of the situation. “That, I can promise.”
He nodded and handed me a to-go thermos, sending me off. I still had time until I was supposed to meet with Gavin, so I flashed upstairs to make one more stop.
Sophie’s door hung open halfway, and I heard her typing on her laptop before I saw her. Stepping into the doorframe, I crossed my arms over my chest and scolded her. “Not you too.”
She lifted her gaze from the computer screen and smiled sheepishly at me. “Hey, Lucy.”
“Is there something in the water? Why is everyone favoring bravery over rational thinking?” I asked, mostly to myself.
“Look, Lucy, I know you wanted me to leave with the others, but I feel… important when I’m helping. I just can’t turn my back on everyone when I know what’s really going on out there. I’ve seen too much already, and I can’t ignore it. Last night, I realized how many people count on my research. I felt it.”
“And college?” I asked, already knowing her decision.
“I thought it was right at first, because I would be safe, but honestly, I think it’s safer here. Knowing what’s out there, I would probably have a panic attack if I were on my own. Besides, I wanted to make a difference in the world, and I know I could make the biggest impact here.”
“But you could have left with the others this morning and met up with the group later. It would have been safer.”
“I know it’s dumb. I know I’m not a fighter, but more harm could come to me out there than with the Keepers. At least here, I’m surrounded by other fighters… and you’re here. Safety in numbers, right?” she said timidly.
Her belief in me mirrored Gavin’s. My throat clogged with responsibility, and I barely choked out a response. “Right.”
“So you’re not mad?” she asked.
“No,” I replied quickly. “I understand where you’re coming from.” And I did. I understood the need to find purpose. “I want you to stay with Chef in the kitchen tonight. It’ll be safe there.”
Sophie didn’t question it, only nodded in agreement. I glanced at the time on her laptop and gave her a quick goodbye before rushing toward the sparring rooms.
Running along the back hall full of windows to the courtyard, I noticed the dreary, overcast sky. The storm moved south this morning, but the clouds remained, tinting the world in monochrome lifelessness.
Gavin stood with his well-defined back to me, his t-shirt stretching across the bunched muscles in his shoulders and upper back. It fell down his tapered waistline, where it met black sweatpants that hugged his backside in a very drool worthy way. That was the type of scenery I could stare at all day.
He held a broadsword in his right hand and practiced various technical moves. I took it as the perfect opportunity to practice sneak attacks. Without a single sound, I crept over the hardwood, carefully avoiding shoe squeak. I dropped low, positioning myself for a full-on linebacker tackle.
I sprang into action like a shot, barreling toward him at half speed so as not to break the house. At the last second, he dropped the sword and spun to face me. He sidestepped my advances and hooked an arm around my middle. My momentum twisted us both around, and we landed on the mat ten feet away.
He took the weight of the fall but gave me no chance to take full advantage of the upper hand. He rolled on top of me, capturing my face in one hand, his firm grip nearly squishing my lips into a fish pucker.
His self-satisfied grin intact, he leaned down to press a sweet kiss against my pout. He released his grip but ran his hand around the back of my head to wind through my bun, loosening it and releasing a few stray hairs.
“Haven’t you learned our connection makes it impossible for you to sneak up on me?” he asked.
“I was kind of hoping you were concentrating so hard you wouldn’t be tuned in to me,” I admitted truthfully.
He chuckled and it was the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard. “I’m always tuned in to you. You should at least know that by now. Or haven’t I made my feelings for you clear?”
I focused on the wall filled with blunt weapons to hide the blush. Jesus. When did I become so girly?
“Mmm, I love that color on you. We need to get to work before I tackle you in the fun kind of way.”
He helped me stand and we debated on which combat tactics to focus our attentions. I knew throwing knives were my specialty, so we didn’t need to waste time on those. Instead, we decided to stick with simple hand-to-hand combat, since that was my next go-to style. I needed to focus more on what I was comfortable with but could improve on, rather than cramming in more lessons regarding weapons I’ve never used in real world scenarios.
As we sparred, I thought back to our plan for the night. Helen was supposed to arrange for vehicles to be waiting in town by the tunnel’s exit point. When night falls, the others were to post up at various windows around the house with crossbows on the ready. We’d wait for the assassins to advance on the property within firing range and then flip on the UV lights.
No one was to leave the mansion for any reason. Gavin and I would draw the fight outside when they got too close to the house. The others were to fall back and head for the tunnels. They all complained about wanting to do more, but I managed to convince them it was safer to stick together in the group.
It was an ill-conceived plan, and it would be a miracle if everything went accordingly. It was exactly the type of plan I was accustomed to, but considering our resources and sitting duck status, we didn’t have much of a choice. These walls housed every chance at survival we had.
Oomph!
I landed hard o
n the thin mat after succumbing to an arm bar takedown.
“Where did you go?” Gavin asked, extending a hand to hoist me up. In one swift motion, he pulled me upright without any effort on my part.
“Sorry, just going over the plan again.”
“Lucy, we can’t predict the future. All we can do is try our hardest to achieve the outcome we hope for. Look at me,” he said, grasping the sides of my face in his hands.
“Whatever lies ahead of you tonight, don’t panic. Fight. And then fight harder. Don’t defeat yourself, because you’re the only one who can do that. You’re strong enough. You always have been. You don’t have to block your anger. You never needed to. I was wrong to think it would get you killed. It’s part of your power. Use it and you’ll be unstoppable. Show them your fire, love.”
Hope and love crept into my heart at his words, but trepidation was hot on their tails. “What if it’s not good enough? What if I’m not good enough?”
“You are,” he said with so much conviction, his voice scared away the clinging doubt. “You are all you need to survive this. I promise you that.”
The corner of my mouth twitched. I peered directly into those beautiful cerulean eyes. “That’s not true. I need something even more than my own will to live. More than my soul,” I added softly, knowing he could sense my love for him pouring out of me.
“You have me. You always have, and you always will,” he vowed, and I held back the tears of joy.
I replaced my genuine smile with a wry grin. “Well, I was going to say 3,000-thread count Egyptian cotton. But you’re a close second.”
The corners of his mouth spread instantly into a diabolical smile. He gave no other warning before flipping me back onto the mat and coming down on top of me. His weight pressed into mine as he lowered his mouth to mine.
“You know, it can really wound a man’s ego when he comes second to his sheets, especially when it involves a woman’s reasons for getting into bed. What do I have to do to be your only reason to get into bed?”
Blinding Light (The Bloodmarked Trilogy Book 2) Page 28
